by Cara Wylde
“I don’t get it. Something’s not right here. You’re lying to me.”
“I’m not.”
“You hate me. For as long as I remember, you absolutely despised me. Nah. This whole thing that you couldn’t sleep at night… I don’t buy it.”
“I’ve been the worst father a kid could have,” he sighed.
“You can say that again.”
“But I didn’t hate you. Even when I told you that I hated you, I didn’t. I hated that… I felt trapped because of you. Trapped by the guilt that I’d almost gotten you killed when you were just a toddler, and I had a responsibility to look after you and protect you my whole fucking life. I couldn’t sleep if you weren’t safe, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe… This fucking duty that your simple existence had placed on my shoulders… I could barely carry it. You took my life away from me. Because your goddamn father was a Grim Reaper, because he wanted you dead, and now that I knew, keeping you alive meant giving up my own life. Your mother did everything around the house, paid the bills, worked at the diner, kept it together for all of us. And I couldn’t help because I was too damn busy watching your every step, making sure you got to school safe, then back from school, and so on and on. This was my punishment. Until the end of my fucking days. To me, every day was that night. Every day could turn into that night. So, yes. I got angry, and frustrated, and… and…” He choked on his words. “And I started hurting you and my wife…”
“But Mom… Mom told me something else. She told me you hurt me because I reminded you of Katia.”
“That, too. But not because of your hair or your eyes, or whatever. Because that woman who gave birth to you was stupid enough to sleep with a motherfucking Grim Reaper. And you’ve grown to be so much like her, you have no idea. Katia always got everyone around her in trouble. Always. She did what she wanted, took what she wanted, and never listened to anyone. Look where that’s gotten her. She’s probably dead.”
“Do you know for sure?” There was a tremble in my voice.
“No one knows. But she vanished, right? Like she’d never even been on this Earth in the first place. She must be dead. And I knew you’d be just like her. I could see it. Ruining everything you touched, hurting everyone who cared about you, chasing after crazy dreams and supernatural beings instead of planting your damn feet on the ground and living a decent life like any decent, sane person would. And that was why I hated you. Even if I didn’t. I didn’t hate you.” He stammered. “You know what I mean.” He finished his beer. This time, however, he didn’t wave at the waiter to bring him another one. He’d had enough.
I dragged in a breath. Then another, and another. I couldn’t look at him, so I looked out the window. It was dark, and I had to go. I stood up, threw a few bills on the table for my water, and waited for him to acknowledge that I was leaving.
“Oh, right. It’s late.” He stood up, shaky on his feet.
“Thanks.”
“For what?”
“For telling me the truth.”
“Yeah, well. I hope it helps.”
“It does. It helps a great deal.”
We walked out of the bar and stayed side by side, for a minute, on the sidewalk. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and offered me one.
“Jesus, Dad. I don’t smoke.”
“If you’re still calling me Dad, what do you call him?”
“Father?”
He laughed. “Very posh.”
He stared in the distance for a while, and I followed his gaze. He was looking at the Academy walls up on the mountain.
“You should sleep at night, you know,” I said.
“How could I? He found you again. And he has a new scythe.”
“It must be new, right? I keep wondering… But you said it broke into a million pieces, so it must be new.”
He nodded. “It looked like glass dust on the ground.”
“No way he could repair it. He replaced it.”
“For sure. Does that help?”
“I don’t know yet… It might.”
We stayed in silence for another few moments, then we each went our separate ways without much fuss or unnecessary words. I’d discovered more than I was hoping for tonight.
He was protecting me. Hurting me but protecting me at the same time. That’s fucked up. But it was true. And I knew it was true precisely because it was so fucked up. Stepan Lazarov had never made much sense. If anything, all these years, he’d stayed in character.
I found a dark, deserted alley and teleported at the Academy, right in my dorm-room. Corri was waiting for me on top of a mountain of pillows, her knees dragged to her chest, her little body shivering all over.
“Corri, what’s wrong? I told you not to worry.”
Her almond eyes were wide and filled with fear. With a trembling finger, she pointed behind me.
I turned around to face the door. The closed, very much locked door of my room. Well, it wasn’t closed right now, let alone locked. Valentine Morningstar was waiting for me in the threshold. Crassus was standing straight and as mute as ever behind him. I sighed a heavy sigh from the deepest pits of my lungs.
“Let me guess,” I tipped my chin at Crassus. “He started paying you again.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“I am tired of your bullshit.”
“You are?” I sat on the edge of my bed, arms crossed over my chest, staring at an indefinite point above Morningstar’s head. He’d sent Corri to the Blank even when I’d specifically told him she hadn’t done anything wrong. And he was the one who was tired of my bullshit. Go figure.
The Headmaster was pacing the room. Crassus was standing guard on the other side of the door, like the good Unseelie soldier that he was.
“Where did you go? Who did you see?”
“I went for a walk. I didn’t see anyone.”
“Liar.”
I shrugged. “You’re not a mage, you can’t tell.”
“I have mages and demons who can look inside your head and tell me everything. Your thoughts, you plans, your dreams… Do you want me to do that? Bring them in for an interrogatory?”
That didn’t sound good. I knew him well enough to bet my life that he’d do it if I pushed him.
“I was with GC and Paz.”
“No, you weren’t. I took their pins. They can’t teleport.”
“They don’t have to when I can teleport to them. I was in GC’s room first, then in Pazuzu’s.”
He pointed his finger at me. “You’re lying again. But we’ll see.”
He paced some more. I knew my boys would cover for me. I’d told them I was going to meet Stepan Lazarov. I couldn’t wait to tell them the whole story, so we could put the pieces together. Speaking of pieces…
“How is your scythe?”
He tensed up, like I’d just punched him in the gut and he was trying to mask how much it hurt.
“What do you mean?”
I stood up and walked toward him, my eyes on the curved blade. Just as I’d thought, the soft cracks were there, but the blade was still in one piece. He shot me a suspicious look and backed away. That was when I realized he didn’t have things under control, not even in the slightest, and that was why he was trying so hard to control me. He wanted to know where I was at all times, with whom, and what I was up to. Because he could feel I was on to him. He knew about the prophecy all along. He tried to kill me when I was only a child. That had to be it. That had to be the reason.
“Nothing,” I said. “I just thought…” I shook my head and smiled apologetically. “A trick of the light.”
He cocked an eyebrow and looked at me as if he didn’t know what to think anymore. I decided to try and put his mind to rest. I’d just seen my adoptive father not half an hour ago, had found out that my real father had always wanted me dead, my pixie friend was in a cage surrounded by nothingness, and I was tired, confused, and angry. It had been a long evening. All I wanted wa
s to take a hot bath and text with my guys until I fell asleep.
“Look, I’m sorry, father. I just… I’m in love with them. I know you don’t like it, but it is what it is.”
“You broke one of the rules. Again. Students are not allowed in other students’ dorm-rooms. Not to mention the curfew… Two, you broke two rules.”
“I’m sorry. Do what you have to do. Take more of my worth points.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “You’re at minus 240. I’ve come to believe the students at Grim Reaper Academy don’t take the worth system seriously. You lose points every day, and it doesn’t seem to affect you.”
I wanted to roll my eyes, but I abstained. No point in pissing him off even more. Not tonight. Tonight, I was even closer to a breakthrough, and I just needed him to leave me the fuck alone so I could think. So, no, I wasn’t going to tell him that we all used to take the system very seriously before he came along, fucked it up, and showed us that it didn’t matter what we did, good or bad, ethical or not, when the Headmaster himself took worth points from us on a daily basis just because he could. The rules were stupid. The way he’d chosen to enforce them was even stupider.
He held out his hand, and I stared at it, confused.
“Your phone. Hand it over.”
“What? No. Why?”
“Because from now on, all electronic devices are forbidden on Academy grounds.” He motioned toward my desk. “Your laptop, too.”
“What the hell? No! I use it for homework.”
“You know, when I was a student here, way back when, we didn’t have any fancy technology, and we managed just fine. Much better than this new generation, for sure. I’m doing you a favor, daughter, believe me. These things are distracting you from your work. You’re on them every minute of every day, probably at night, too. Texting and messaging, wasting your time on trivial crap instead of burying those big, stubborn heads in a couple of books for once and actually taking your future career seriously. So, hand it over. I’ll make it official tomorrow. New rule: no phones, laptops, tablets and whatnot on school grounds, and no access to the Internet.”
“You’re insane! How am I supposed to call my parents if you take my phone?”
He chuckled darkly. “That’s your concern? Mila, those two fools are not your parents. I am your father and I know what’s best for you.”
“Those two fools, as you call them, raised me when you abandoned me. So, yes, that’s my concern. I want to keep in touch with them because they’re the only parents I’ve ever known.”
His features darkened. “I’ve made my decision, Mila, and trust me, it’s for the sake of this institution, its students, and our future Grim Reapers. There will be no communication with the outside world as of today. Too many distractions. There will be no vacations, either.”
“No winter vacation?” Okay, it was all clear now. Valentine Morningstar had gone completely and utterly insane.
“Not when practice benefits you more. You’ll all be reaping on the holidays. Death doesn’t take vacations, and neither should you. It’s time for this new generation of Reapers to show everyone that they’re dedicated and ready to follow their destiny.”
I shook my head. “I don’t believe this… You can’t do this.”
He grinned. “Oh, but I can.”
“The Council will never agree to this.”
“The Council has appointed me Headmaster because they know I’m the only one who can restore the reputation, integrity, and prestige of Grim Reaper Academy. That’s exactly what I’m doing. Now, will you please…”
I turned on my heels and went to place a possessive hand over my laptop. My phone was safely tucked in my pocket.
“No. You’re adding new rules? Fine. When I see them in print and approved by the Council, I’ll hand over my phone and my laptop. Not a second before.”
His hand turned into a fist, but he controlled his anger.
“As you wish.” He stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
I waited two minutes to make sure he was gone, then poked my head through the door to glare at Crassus.
“Traitor.” He didn’t move a muscle. There was so much more I wanted to tell him, but it wasn’t worth it. As long as he had Morningstar’s money in his pockets, he was going to do his job. Fuckin’ Unseelie…
I ran myself a bath, and as the tub filled with hot water, I texted my boyfriends, as well as Francis, Sariel, Klaus, and Patty. I had to warn them about what was coming.
“Delete everything. All the messages we’ve ever exchanged.”
I did the same while I soaked in the bath.
“How the fuck are we going to talk or meet now? Fuck. He’s got us trapped.”
There had to be something, though. This couldn’t be the end. I should have taught them all how to teleport on their own. Morningstar had taken everyone’s teleportation pins, saying they didn’t need them if they weren’t reaping. Mrs. Charon still wasn’t allowed to teach us how to teleport on our own. I was the only lucky one, but that also meant I was alone now. Who was I going to have secret meetings with? Patty, Joel, and… Lorna? Yeah, right. Lorna hated me, and Patty and Joel couldn’t do much to help me bring Morningstar down.
There had to be something, though.
I let myself sink deeper in the hot water, until only my nose was above the surface. I held my breath and immersed completely. Water rushing in my ears, all outside noises dulled. Little by little, my muscles relaxed and my thoughts slowed down. I came back to the surface and let my head rest against the tub as my eyes closed. I was so tired. So, so tired.
* * *
I felt my body buzzing and vibrating, louder and faster, until instead of one body, I had at least two. One physical and one non-physical, and I was aware of both. There were more bodies in between, but they were so subtle that I could barely grasp the concept of their existence. The body made of flesh, blood, bones, and skin was in the tub, lulled to sleep by the warmth of the water and the sweet scent of orange blossom soap. The body made of vibrating ether was floating up up up until it hit the ceiling, then down down down until it went through the floor and landed on the next one. I opened my eyes in this body.
I’m lucid dreaming. No. I’m having an out-of-body experience.
But I wasn’t the one behind the wheel. Or maybe I was. It was still me. I was still me, but a more knowledgeable me. I floated down the corridor. It was empty. No Unseelie guards. I found my way down my old corridor, but it looked different. Usually, it was sunken in darkness, dusty and unkempt. Now, lights were hanging from the ceiling, the walls were painted a pleasant shade of green, and the doors had numbers on them. Eighty-three was written on my old door. I pushed it open. No. I wanted to, but my hand went right through it. I dragged in a breath that my body made of light and vibration didn’t need, and went through the door.
There he was. Valentine Morningstar. Years younger! I couldn’t tell how many. Time was such a fickle thing to supernatural creatures. Most laughed at it. He was hunched over a notebook, writing feverishly.
As small as it was, the room was furnished with style and taste. A four-poster in the middle, a mahogany desk near the tall, gothic windows, and bookshelves covering every inch of every wall. They were filled with books checked out from the library, books bought by Valentine himself, with notebooks and study materials he’d gathered through the years. How many years? Was this his second year at Grim Reaper Academy? The third? It wasn’t the first, for sure.
Did they brick up the top of the windows and only left the lower halves?
His wings were resting on his back, the tips touching the bed. His blond hair reached his shoulders, and his skin was sun-kissed. It was strange to see him so young and tanned when the only Valentine I’d known was pale and constantly angry, or at least annoyed at the world. I floated closer to him, trying to see what he was writing. A diary? I’d never thought he was the type…
He raised h
is eyes for a second and looked straight at me. My non-existent heart jumped in my non-existent chest. I could swear he saw me, but then he went back to his notebook, and I released a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding because I wasn’t actually holding it, because I didn’t have physical lungs to hold it in. He scribbled one last sentence, closed the notebook, then knelt on the floor. He brought his scythe down with him and used the tip of the blade to dislodge a rectangular section of the floorboard. There was a box in there, and he stuffed the notebook inside, on top of at least another dozen notebooks. He looked up again, and this time, his brows furrowed as his eyes focused on me.
“Father,” I whispered, although I had no idea why I wanted to draw his attention. It made no sense. Also, I’d made no sound. I didn’t have vocal cords, a tongue, lips, and whatnot.
He stood up and went to the door. He’d heard a knock, not my voice. I wanted to turn around and see who it was, but it was too late. My physical body was calling for my non-physical body to rejoin it. The water was getting cold.
* * *
I opened my eyes and gasped. I was shivering.
“What the hell? Dream? Hallucination? Did I really see into the past?”
So many questions, and only one way to find out. I had to check my old room.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I had to be smart. I had to wait for the right moment. And the next day wasn’t the right moment. After breakfast, the school exploded when the Unseelie guards started gathering phones, tablets, and laptops. The new rules were up on the board:
8. Access to the Internet is forbidden.
9. All electronic devices that allow communication with the outside are forbidden.
10. School vacations will be dedicated to practice.
Everyone was shocked, except me and the people I’d already told. Not even the staff was allowed to use their phones on the school grounds. If they went down to Salem, the Headmaster didn’t care, but as long as they were at the Academy, all phones had to be turned off. Too much of a temptation, he’d said. The truth was that he knew I had friends in the kitchens, and he knew they would help me break the rules if I asked them to.