by Ev Bishop
Around her, the trees were silent, yet seemed to breathe. Mia told herself it was a comfortable solitude and almost believed it. She’d come a long way and had a lot further to go, but she’d make it. She would reclaim her independence and never make the mistake of letting anyone get close enough to fool her or hurt her again. She would regain her confidence and spontaneity—or die trying.
Didn’t you already almost go that route? a nasty part of her brain quipped.
“Not funny,” she snapped back.
She slipped her cell phone from her pocket. No service out here, but it still told the time: barely noon. She had hours of daylight left, and it was gorgeous and sunny—delightfully and unseasonably so, in fact. She shouldn’t, and she wouldn’t, waste her first day.
She grabbed a water bottle from her pack, then unlocked the purple door—which, in her head, she was starting to refer to as the purple door of possibility—and shoved her luggage inside. She shut and relocked the door without bothering to explore the cabin’s interior. No doubt she’d have a night full of insomnia to do that.
Looking back the way she and Jo had come, Mia hesitated. She could retrace their steps and reinforce knowledge of terrain already covered, or—she glanced to her left, studying a thin trail that meandered off into the woods—she could kick-start this final step in her healing process with a bit of oomph. So really there wasn’t a question, after all. Moving at pace she told herself was for maximum cardio benefit and not out of transparent bravado, Mia headed out on the unfamiliar trail to destinations equally unknown.
Chapter 2
Just him, Wolf and the forest. This was right. Was how it was supposed to be now. Gray took a huge rib stretching breath, and the tightness and stress that had been riding him the past week fell away. Man, the air was good. Sweet and warm and filled with the scent of sunbaked cedar and pine. It felt more like the height of August than mid-September.
His leg was having a bad day, but even that couldn’t dim his mood. He paused by a massive hemlock, braced himself with one hand on its rough bark, and bent to rub his stiff knee. It was great to be outside. No, scratch that. It was essential. True, he was not as strong as he’d once been and though it had been years since the injury, he never got used to it—or forgot his previous self. True, some days his damaged leg felt every stride like it was its first time connecting with the earth. But also true: he could still cover a fair amount of ground quickly and damaged or not, he was still stronger and fitter than a lot of guys. None of that really mattered though. The crucial factor was that the dead spot in the core of his being was less all-consuming out here. The agony of existing without Celine and Simon, though not obliterated, was eased. Sometimes he even imagined he felt life pouring into him from the trees overhead. It showed him some experiences were worth the sacrifices they called for and that some kinds of gains transcended pain.
Gray straightened up again and took another deep pull of air. For the most part, as shocking as it was, considering everything that had happened, he was content. He could handle physical pain. And the emotional side of things? Well, out here he was so removed from constant reminders that he fared pretty well in that arena too.
A crackle in the dry brush beside the trail and the sound of twigs snapping under the weight of a heavy animal killed the birdsong overhead. Gray smiled and made a soft clicking sound. Wolf crashed through a tangle of salmonberry bushes and appeared in front of Gray, tongue lolling and full of burrs. Gray rubbed his dog’s broad head and scrubbed his ears. Wolf leaned in, his body weight solid and comforting against Gray’s thigh, then bolted out of sight again.
Yep, this was what they both needed all right. To be back where they belonged. To be alone and free from the meddling of busybodies—hell, free from people in general with their prying questions and fury evoking sad-eyed looks of concern. It was too bad he wasn’t completely self-sufficient, or he’d stop his seasonal forays into town all together. Even a few days was a few days too long.
Gray continued down the increasingly faint trail, then eased through an archway formed by two cottonwoods that had grown close together over the years. The small lake, his lake, as he liked to think of it, was a glinting sapphire in the golden sunlight. He skirted a stand of skinny jack pines, then froze. A rush of heat and blood ran to his face . . . and other parts.
There was a mermaid in his lake. And she was beautiful—even from just the glorious back view he had. A cascade of dark hair flowed down the creamy expanse of her bare shoulders and torso. A small waist flared into generous hips and a well-rounded—
Gray clapped a hand over his eyes. What was he? Some kind of pervert? It was like he’d never seen a naked woman before. Okay, it had been a long time, sure, but—he cut that thought off as well. He backtracked as quickly and quietly as he could, desperate to escape before she turned and saw him and thought he was a peeping Tom or something.
Familiar snuffling grunts—not at all humorous now—and a telltale crack of branches told Gray all hope of disappearing unnoticed was in vain. Wolf sprang from the bush and into the clearing, too far away for Gray to grab him. Then, in typical dog fashion, Wolf decided the complete stranger wading in the lake must desperately want to visit him. He charged down the rocky beach and across the narrow strip of sand at the water’s edge.
The mermaid turned as soon as she heard Wolf—and screamed. Repeatedly. Completely undaunted, Wolf splashed through the shallows toward her.
Gray stripped off his backpack and limped-ran as fast as he could toward the shoreline. “It’s all right. He’s friendly. He won’t hurt you.”
The woman didn’t appear to hear him over her increasingly loud screams. She splashed frantically at Wolf, trying to shoo him, but the dumb mutt interpreted her actions as play.
“Wolf! Down. Come.” Wolf heard Gray’s command and froze, but Gray could tell by the prick of his ears that the dog was deliberating whether he should listen or continue doing his own thing. It was, after all, so fun to play chase. Wolf was not the loner Gray was. Not by half, more’s the pity.
“Come,” Gray growled again, then repeated the clicking sound. Wolf’s shoulders sagged and he heaved a deep, hard done by sigh. Finally, he turned and plowed through the water toward Gray. Lumbering up onto the beach, he dropped to his belly and grinned, tongue lolling.
The mermaid was not calmed. “What is wrong with you?” she shrieked. “That animal is a menace. I’m going to call animal control—”
Embarrassment burned through Gray. Wolf was usually a great dog, but he was a dog. He’d been excited, hadn’t meant any harm. And who did this woman think she was anyway? Cavorting buck naked in the middle of nowhere? She was damn fortunate Wolf was a dog, not a bear or a moose—or the worst kind of animal, some less than scrupulous person.
He turned and strode away.
The woman yelled again. “That’s it? You’re just going to leave, no apology, no . . . nothing?”
He turned back. Damn his leg hurt. That sprint across the loose rocks on the shore had been too much.
She was crouched deeper in the water now, so her lower bits were covered, and her arms were crossed protectively over her chest. But Gray had gotten a good, if unintentional, eyeful when she’d been fending off Wolf. The image of her small firm breasts was seared in his mind. He shifted uncomfortably.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re doing or why you’re naked in my lake, but this is private property.”
“What?” She sounded genuinely shocked. Stricken even. But then something in her face tightened. “Are you calling me naked? That’s impossible. The salesperson promised this au naturel bathing suit did not make me look nude!”
Gray floundered for something to say . . . Ah, the joke made itself clear—but how to respond did not. What kind of a whack job joked in a situation like this? He was a total stranger. For all she knew, he might be dangerous.
“No,” he finally managed, like a dullard. “I said this is private land. My private land.”
The woman wrapped her arms around herself even tighter and huddled still lower in the water, her poor excuse for a sense of humor finally failing her. “This isn’t River’s Sigh B & B’s property?”
And now it all made sense. This was one of Jo and Callum’s city slickers. Gray sighed heavily and met the woman’s eyes—just her eyes. “Nope. Mine. And I don’t like company, mermaid or not.”
For a second something almost like a sincere smile flashed across her face. “I’m not actually a mermaid, or not a full blood one anyway.”
Gray nodded solemnly, but felt . . . what? Amused? How long had it been since he’d felt that? Maybe even longer than since the last time he’d seen someone else in less than their skivvies. “Jo and Callum’s acres do edge this lake, but on the other side. You went too far.”
She bit her lip and looked like she wished she could disappear.
“What are you doing anyway?” He waved his hand in her general direction. “If you were out and wanted an impromptu dip, couldn’t you have, uh, left your underthings on?”
Underthings? Okay, he didn’t mind being a hermit, but he didn’t want to sound like some bushed weirdo either. He suspected it was too late.
Her teeth sunk even further into her bottom lip, and her eyes—bright cornflower blue, striking against her nearly black hair, though he hated that he noticed—sparkled like she was near tears. Gray felt bad. Sure, she’d surprised him, but it wasn’t like she was committing a crime. Still, he didn’t offer any reassurances. He didn’t want to say anything that might be construed as him not minding that she was there. Because he did mind. Very much.
He turned away one last time and clicked to Wolf, who stood promptly, but threw a mournful glance over his shoulder toward the naked woman he wouldn’t get to play with.
“I feel your grief, buddy,” Gray whispered, shocking himself with the small joke and even grinning a little. The moment of silliness withered instantly, however. He didn’t let himself entertain stupid fantasies—and thankfully they didn’t pop into his head often. Which was for the best. He lived with enough chronic pain as it was.
He strode off without a backward glance, hoping like hell he wouldn’t run into the skinny dipper when he was teaching self-defense lessons to the old musician Jo had begged a favor for.
Chapter 3
Mia locked the cabin door, slid the deadbolt, then slipped down to the floor. She twined her arms around her shins and pressed her chin against her denim clad knees—denim that was damp from her lake-soaked body. She’d thrown her clothes on without drying off and hightailed it back to Sockeye as fast as she could after her humiliating and terrifying run-in with the awful bushman and his savage dog.
She closed her eyes, fighting to hold herself together. It could’ve been worse, so much worse—but it also could have been way better. “I don’t know what the hell you’re doing,” the man had stormed. And Mia wondered the very same thing: what was she doing? It was one thing to want her independent, free spirit back. It was another thing entirely to take foolish risks.
A person should be able to be free, to enjoy nature and to not be in danger, a small part of her stubbornly argued. For once Mia didn’t retort out loud. She agreed with her inner self—but what should be and what actually was in this world were very different things.
All she had needed to do was follow Jo’s printed map of the grounds and she never would’ve found herself in that compromised position. There was even a beach on River’s Sigh B & B’s side of the lake, but the location of the sun and how it shone on the far shore had called to her.
Maybe all the bad things her inner-self whispered—that she deserved everything she got, that she was terrible at reading people, that she was stupid and stubborn—were true. And maybe that meant her secret, most dreaded conviction of all was true too: that if she hadn’t been so bent on enjoying herself and “living life to the fullest” she would’ve seen Ryland for what he was and predicted his behavior. No, she insisted, forcing her thoughts to take a different track, you couldn’t have. No one would’ve.
The stranger’s scowl filled her head again. How furious her lame attempt at a joke had made him, almost like he considered her sense of humor more offensive than her trespassing. It was safe to smile about it now, so she did . . . a little.
And there, in the safety of her locked, secluded cabin, she let herself acknowledge something else. Another emotion had bubbled up when confronted by the ferocious dog and his stern master. She had been frightened, undeniably and absolutely, but she’d also been . . . curious. Still was, in fact. At first she’d thought the glowering, heavily bearded man was elderly. He sort of moved like he was. But after he’d come closer, to reprimand her more thoroughly, she’d realized he wasn’t that much older than her—five or ten years, tops. His tall frame was strong and heavily-muscled, but one leg was injured or crippled or something. And, unpleasant as his presence had been for her, she’d swear he was just as uncomfortable with their encounter as she was. Maybe even more so.
It was kind of messed up to feel this way, but the idea that she could be perceived as a threat instead of as prey was shamefully refreshing.
She got to her feet slowly, ready, finally, to shed her uncomfortable, wet clothes and to explore her new home away from home. Thankfully, she’d never have to see that wild brute of a man again—a fact for which “relieved” was far too weak a word—but she had decided something important. She was going to consider her first day at River’s Sigh B & B a success, lake fiasco notwithstanding. She had spent a whole afternoon alone, done something impulsive, just because she wanted to, without fanfare or a chaperone or calling anyone to check in. It had been a bit of a nightmare, sure, but she’d survived—and hadn’t had a panic attack in the aftermath. She even found the incident a bit funny. It was more than she’d hoped to accomplish in weeks, let alone the first day.
Chapter 4
Gray had worked himself into a small fury by the time he crossed the river and traversed the miles between its banks and Jo and Callum’s establishment. He’d hardly had a wink of sleep the past night, thinking about the mermaid. That people like that, people who took their personal safety so lightly, who lived so recklessly, could dance through life untouched and thriving, while his precious Celine and little son—
His throat closed and the muscles over his sternum turned to stone, so rigid and tight he could hardly breathe. Wolf bumped one of Gray’s clenched fists with his cold, wet nose and whined. Gray reached down and scratched his pet’s ears. The dog, as if sensing Gray’s sorrowing rage was deeper than even the norm, had been a shadow all day, never straying from the trail or letting himself get distracted by various autumn stinks. He was little comfort today, however. Gray couldn’t pull himself out of the mire of his memories.
He never should’ve agreed to Jo’s request. Never. In fact, if he hadn’t been preoccupied with thoughts of winter prep—and if he wasn’t feeling significantly lighter in the wallet after buying a good four months’ worth of staples and arranging to have them brought up river for him in a week or two’s time—he wouldn’t have agreed to it. Not for love or money. But that was the problem, wasn’t it? Both were working against him at the moment.
The problem behind his stupid decision to accept the self-defense gig was twofold. One, he liked Jo and Callum. They kept a distance he appreciated, but were good to him, even going so far as to pick up supplies for him occasionally or letting him buy goods off them directly. Plus, the odd time when nights got too long for even him, they actually seemed to enjoy a surprise visit. He wanted to be a good neighbor to them, the way they were to him.
Two, despite his simple living, he needed money. He owned his property outright, had a small disability pension, and earned extra cash with the odd small job here or there, but he wanted to go fully off-grid eventually. That would mean no income at all at some point—and would demand some expensive wish list materials. Teaching some old bird a thing or two about safety had see
med like an easy way to pad his pockets. Now Gray wasn’t sure the hassle would be worth it.
Gray reached River’s Sigh B & B’s big dining hall without running into another soul, something he was grateful for.
“Down,” he commanded as he and Wolf ascended three stairs and crossed the deck leading to the entrance. “Stay.”
Wolf sank to his belly, but his mismatched blue and brown eyes followed Gray reproachfully and seemed to say, I thought it was dogs who barked.
Gray didn’t knock or wait for an invitation to enter, though it went against everything in his nature to intrude on someone’s space without explicit permission.
“I’ve told you and told you,” Jo had said with a laugh, pretty much every time he visited, “you have an open invitation anytime. If the dining hall’s unlocked, walk in. It’s a public space. No need to knock.”
Yet he’d continued to knock and wait for her to come to the door—right up until three visits ago, when she finally added, cheerfully but firmly, that his insistence on being answered at the door was inconvenient for her, that she was often in the middle of putting something on the stove or pulling something from the oven. Gray apologized and from that point onward, let himself in unannounced.
Today, however, barging in didn’t give him pause. He flung the big oak door open and charged inside, oblivious to whoever might be in the room. His eyes lit on Jo’s smiling face and he was suddenly irrationally incensed by her warm, calm, everything’s all right attitude. Things were rarely all right. The world was a cesspool. People were constantly in danger, at risk—
“You.” He shrugged out of his ever-present backpack and thrust his finger at Jo, lest she somehow miss the fact that he was talking to her.