“It can’t be taught.”
“That’s right. You can try. You can give someone a basic set of skills, but they’ll never be able to do what you can do. What you have is a gift, Alec. The best way for you to use it is simply to share it with those who will appreciate it.”
Alec leaned over and kissed his father’s forehead. “Thanks, Pop. I’ll remember that.”
When he headed upstairs he found Rebecca in their bathroom, running a comb through her damp hair. He paused in the doorway to study her, admiring the graceful way she performed such a simple task. She leaned forward to wipe the fog from the mirror, and when she saw his reflection she gave a warm smile.
“You must be tired,” she said.
He shook his head and stepped up behind her. “I’ve been tired my whole life,” he replied, sliding his arms around her waist. “Today is the first day I actually feel awake.”
Rebecca tilted her head back and gave a little sigh when he lowered his face to kiss her neck. They didn’t get nearly enough moments like this, when the rest of the world was silent so they could just be husband and wife. She turned to face him and briefly touched her lips to his before she took his hand and led him over to their bed. They made love slowly and tenderly, into the early hours of the morning, until Rebecca fell asleep beside him.
Alec lay awake for a while longer, staring up at the wooden beams above their bed. He had every reason in the world to feel elated right now, and he did. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but think back to the last time he’d felt this way.
It was the second night of the cattle drive, when he and his father stayed up late into the night discussing Alec’s plans for college. That was the only time Alec had ever truly felt that he had himself figured out. He could see his future so clearly–making his way through school, establishing his practice, and building a life with his best friend.
Not even twenty-four hours later, that future was ripped away from him in the cruelest trick of fate imaginable.
Yet he’d persevered. He’d plowed ahead and forged a new path for himself, the path that led him here. He was no longer wondering where his life was going to take him. He was here. He’d made it. No, it wasn’t exactly what he’d envisioned for himself, but he no longer had reason to feel disappointed.
He’d honored the commitment he made to his father. He’d built a business that more than provided for his family. He’d once again been blessed with the love of an amazing woman–a woman he was never going to let go of, under any circumstances. And now, after his performance this evening, he was sure to have even further opportunities open up to him.
For once, he could honestly say that everything was going right in his life.
That was why, in the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but wonder if it was all about to fall apart.
Chapter 43
With Shania gone and Jake and Holly back in school for the fall, the Flying W reached an all-time low in the number of wranglers on staff. The ranch wasn’t booked to capacity like it had been since June, but there were still enough guests each week to keep everyone scrambling.
Rebecca stepped up to fill as many gaps in the schedule as she could, but Alec’s injury limited the amount of work he was able to do. By the end of the week, it was obvious that they needed another set of hands.
“Call Alli,” Rebecca said when he shared his concerns over dinner. “It’s only four more weeks. Jeff can watch the baby on the weekends.”
Alec mulled it over for the rest of the night before he finally broke down and called his sister-in-law. “Just ‘til the end of the month,” he assured her. “And if it’s too much for you guys–”
“I’ll be out first thing in the morning,” Allison replied.
Everyone was thrilled to have Allison back on staff. She settled right back into her old routine, working long shifts on Saturdays and Sundays to give Tommy and Ben some much-needed relief. With one less thing to worry about, Alec turned his attention to the inquiries that were pouring in about his performance.
The first week alone, Dan forwarded over fifty emails from various people who had attended the rodeo. Some simply stated how much they’d enjoyed the show and wanted to know when the next one was going to be. Others were wondering if he was interested in conducting a seminar in their particular locale, some as far away as Houston or Phoenix.
Interest increased a hundredfold when someone posted a video of his performance on a popular website. The video went viral in a matter of hours, and soon his mailbox was crammed with letters from people begging him to come and work with their horses. The requests ranged from desperate pleas to outright bribes:
My mare has developed a terrible fear of water. I’m hoping that you can help her overcome this so we can continue to compete in cross-country events…
My gelding hasn’t been the same since he got tangled in a barbed wire fence. His body is healed, but I believe that you have the power to heal his mind…
How much would a week of your time cost? I run a rescue facility in Amarillo and I have a barn full of horses that could benefit from your gift. I’m prepared to pay whatever you ask…
Rebecca shook her head in amazement as she sifted through the latest batch of letters. “What are you going to do?”
Alec gave a helpless shrug. “There’s nothing I can do right now.”
He hardly had the time to care for his own interests, so he certainly wasn’t in a position to fly all over the country and help others with theirs. Walter could do it when he was younger because the Flying W was nothing more than a modest cattle ranch. One or two men could easily maintain the property in his absence.
Now, though, there were so many details to worry about that Alec could scarcely get away for the day, let alone a week at a time.
As if to prove the point, he spent the better part of two days at his accountant’s office, preparing files for his quarterly tax returns. The following morning he shut himself in his office at home to finish payroll and review Tommy’s inventory for the month.
Just when he was starting to go cross-eyed from staring at so many numbers, the telephone rang. “Hello?”
“It’s me,” came Lucy’s voice. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m still at the pharmacy waiting for this prescription refill.”
Alec glanced at the clock and was startled to see that it was past noon. “It’s no problem,” he said, all too eager to set his papers aside. “I’ll take care of lunch today.”
Walter was in his usual spot near the television when Alec emerged from the office. “Hey, Pop,” he greeted. “Are you hungry?”
“Depends what’s on the menu.”
Alec chuckled as he grabbed the handles on the back of the wheelchair. “Well, you’re stuck with my cooking today,” he said, dropping his gaze to unlock the brake. “I can make you a sandwich or–”
He stopped short when his eyes landed on the catheter bag hanging from the back of the wheelchair. At first he didn’t understand what he was seeing. Then his stomach plummeted to the floor when he realized that the bag wasn’t full of urine.
It was full of blood.
*
Alec could feel Rebecca’s eyes on him as he paced back and forth across the waiting room of the hospital. He wasn’t truly pacing–it was more of a lopsided shuffle–but he was too agitated to sit. The activity was undoubtedly doing a number on his ankle, but he couldn’t have cared less.
“Why don’t you sit?” Rebecca said softly.
“I don’t want to sit.”
His response came out more forcefully than he intended, but to Rebecca’s credit, she didn’t flinch. Instead she closed her eyes and settled back in her chair, leaning her head against the wall. They’d followed the ambulance over to the hospital, and she’d been sitting patiently with him ever since.
Alec checked his watch for at least the hundredth time. “What the hell is taking them so long?”
Within moments of their arrival, they’d wheeled Walter
down the hall to the diagnostic center. Alec should have known they wouldn’t have an answer right away, but after five hours he figured they would have at least found something.
Rebecca stood and walked over to the vending machine, scanning the selection before she dropped a few quarters through the slot. Soon he heard the quiet pop of a can being opened and felt the gentle touch of his wife’s hand on his arm.
“Here.”
Alec was in no mood to argue. He obediently lifted the soda to his lips and took a long sip. The flavor didn’t register, but almost instantly his tremors subsided. Only then did he realize that he hadn’t eaten a thing since breakfast. No wonder he felt so lightheaded.
“Thanks,” he managed to say.
Rebecca resumed her seat while Alec resumed his pacing. Families and doctors and nurses came and went from the waiting room. On the small television in the corner, one sitcom ended and the next one began. Alec barely noticed any of it.
All he wanted was for someone to come in and tell him what on earth was going on with his father.
At long last, Dr. Calder stepped into the waiting room. He’d been Walter’s general practitioner for the past nine years, and Alec trusted his expertise. Dr. Calder had always been the type to give it to him straight, so Alec expected nothing less right now.
“I’m sorry to keep you waiting,” he said. “Would the two of you like to join me in my office?”
As he expected, Dr. Calder got right to the point. “Your father’s blood count and hemoglobin levels are low and continuing to drop,” he began. “We conducted several imaging tests of his chest cavity and abdomen, but we weren’t able to identify the source of the bleeding. If he were in better health, we could go in surgically to locate and try to repair the issue. Unfortunately, in his condition, I don’t see that as an option.”
Alec swallowed hard. “So what are the options?”
Dr. Calder folded his hands on his desk. “If we can’t determine where the bleeding is coming from, we have no way of stopping it. We’re already seeing a decline in liver and kidney function. At the rate he’s losing blood, it’s only a matter of time before his other organs start to shut down, as well.”
He felt Rebecca’s hand on his knee, but he didn’t dare turn to look at her face. “I don’t understand,” he said quietly. “He’s been feeling fine all summer. And everything was normal at his last check-up, wasn’t it?”
“It was. But that was nearly five months ago. A lot can happen inside the body in that length of time, especially in someone as frail as Walter.”
Alec felt a sharp stab of guilt. It had been such a hectic summer, between Shania and his work with Onyx and the bear and his injury. Had there been signs, he wondered, and he’d simply failed to notice them?
He didn’t want to ask the question, but the words tumbled out anyway. “Did I do something wrong?”
Dr. Calder gave a dejected smile. “In all my years of practice, Alec, I’ve never seen someone with your level of dedication. You’ve trumped every odd that was stacked against you and given your father more years of life than any of us expected. You’re a true fighter, just like he is. But it was only a matter of time before his body weakened to the point that he couldn’t fight anymore. I believe we’ve finally reached that point.”
For a long moment, Alec didn’t respond. He didn’t feel sadness; he didn’t feel anger. He didn’t feel anything, really. He’d known, of course, that this would happen one day, but he still felt as ill-prepared for it as he did when he was twenty-four years old.
“So what happens next?”
As always, Dr. Calder responded with perfect tact. “What I would recommend would be for us to go ahead and keep your father here. We’ll do everything we can to keep him comfortable and offer support for you and your family through this difficult time.”
*
Rebecca could tell that Alec wasn’t happy with the arrangement, but he went ahead and signed the paperwork to admit Walter to the hospital. “I’m going to run home and get us some things,” she offered. “Is there anything you need?”
He shrugged. “Not that I can think of.”
She reached out and wrapped her arms around him, wishing so desperately that she could spare him from his pain. She knew as well as he did that it would eventually come to this, but foreknowledge didn’t make loss any easier to deal with.
“I love you so much,” she whispered. “I’ll be back soon.”
Alec nodded and strode down the hallway without responding. She didn’t take his silence personally; she knew him well enough to know that he withdrew from everyone when he was under pressure.
Besides, the drive home afforded her the opportunity to gather her own thoughts. Alec, of course, would take it harder than she would, but Walter was really the only father she’d known, too. They shared an instant rapport from the moment they met–quite inadvertently–during Rebecca’s first week on the ranch. She often wondered how differently that summer would have played out if she hadn’t met Walter. After all, he was the one who drew her and Alec together in the first place.
He was the reason that she was part of their family today.
By the time she pulled into their driveway, her eyes were clouded with tears. She could try to fool herself all she wanted, but the truth was that losing Walter wasn’t going to be much easier for her.
She entered the farmhouse and gathered a few random items–a change of clothes for Alec, their toothbrushes, and a couple of pillows. She hadn’t bothered to ask if he wanted to come home with her; she already knew that he wouldn’t leave his father’s side. All she could do at this point was play her supporting role…whatever it entailed.
She placed their pillows and overnight bag in the passenger’s seat of her truck before she made her way down to the barn. The afternoon trail rides had already passed, so all was quiet when she entered the aisle. The only person she saw was Tommy, bathing his horse in the wash rack at the far end of the barn.
He glanced up when she approached. “What’s the latest?”
Rebecca opened her mouth, but no words came out. All day she’d managed to hold herself together–she had to hold herself together for Alec’s sake–but she couldn’t do it a second longer. Tommy dropped the hose and rushed towards her as she crumpled against the nearest stall door and burst into tears. She was helpless to resist when he knelt beside her and gathered her in his embrace.
“It’s alright, Bec,” he said as she bawled against his chest. “Everything’s going to be alright.”
*
Alec stood in his father’s room at the hospital, staring down at his pallid face. As much as he tried, he couldn’t suppress the anger that was festering in his throat.
He felt like he was being cheated. Robbed, even. The medication they were pumping into Walter’s system all but put him into a coma, making communication impossible. He knew that his father needed his rest, but he also knew that he had so many things left to say to him.
If he remained in this drug-induced stupor, he’d never get his chance.
Walter mumbled something incoherent when Alec stood to examine his heart monitor. “What was that, Pop?”
No response.
A nurse came by just then, giving Alec a sympathetic smile as she reached out to exchange the empty bag of fluid above the bed. “Can you reduce the dosage?” he asked.
She turned to him in surprise. “We’re trying to keep him as comfortable as possible–”
“I understand that,” he assured her. “But could you reduce it anyway? Just a little bit?”
She nodded and obediently adjusted the gauge on the fluid drip. Alec collapsed in the bedside chair again and buried his face in his hands, feeling the reality of the situation descend like deadweight upon his shoulders.
He had no idea how much time had passed when he heard his father’s raspy voice. “Alec?”
Immediately his head snapped up. “Yeah?”
“Where am I?”
He r
ose from his chair. “You’re in the hospital.”
Walter was silent for so long that Alec assumed he’d drifted out of consciousness again. “I want to go home,” he finally said.
Alec’s throat constricted. “I know, Pop. I want to take you home, too. But they want to keep you here right now to–”
“Son.” Walter opened his eyes and met his gaze. “You know as well as I do that there’s nothing more they can do for me.”
Alec released a haggard breath when his father closed his eyes again. He was right, he realized. For all these years, Alec had found a way to keep him at home.
Why should right now be any different? If he was going to die anyway, what difference did it make where it happened?
With renewed determination, he rose to his feet and strode down the hallway. “Excuse me,” he said to the nearest nurse. “Who should I speak to about getting Walter Westin released?”
Chapter 44
Even though the end result would be the same, Alec felt a measure of relief once Walter was home and back under Lucy’s watchful care. He had no doubts that the hospital staff would have provided excellent care, but the way he saw it, Walter had the right to choose where he wanted to spend his final days. And although his energy was rapidly diminishing, he seemed both comfortable and content in his own bed.
Alec kept a constant vigil at his side, leaving only when Lucy needed to check something. Even then, he didn’t go far. Usually he’d just stand in the corner of the room and resume his seat as soon as she was finished.
As word spread of Walter’s condition, cards and flowers began arriving in bulk. A few old-timers even journeyed out to the ranch to pay him a final visit, including Dan Ward and their old head wrangler, Roger. And thanks to Allison and Liz, their fridge was crammed full of more food than they could ever eat.
It wasn’t that Alec didn’t appreciate everyone’s gestures; he just wasn’t in any frame of mind to express his gratitude.
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