He took a step toward her, then paused. He’d fight for her, but he certainly wouldn’t force her. “I’m not backing away from you.”
She gave a wary smile. “Too bad you can’t control everything, huh?”
“I’m not trying to control you.” He frowned but pushed down the boiling swell of defense threatening to break free of him. “I’m trying to help.”
“I don’t want your help.”
“And yet you still need it.” He reached a hand out and stroked her arm. Her attention snapped down to his hand, her eyelids flaring. “You’re a mess, Agathe; you’ve admitted that yourself. If all my presence does is push you toward dealing with your issues, then maybe that’s enough reason for me to stick around.”
She released a sardonic laugh, her head tipping back. “How about you start with your own problems?” She peered up at him, but he didn’t respond.
“Did you ever think of the alternative? The one where I confront my mess, and I lose what little sanity I have left?” The skin around her eyes bunched, suggesting maybe she chose anger to obscure her pain. “And how many times do I have to remind you that you know nothing about me, much less my mess?”
He kept a drawn-out silence, allowing time for her prickly façade to crumble and her cheeks to pale from their flushed state. “About as many times as I have to remind you that I know enough to see you’re not going to crack while trying to get better.”
Her face slackened, jaw dropped and cheeks hollow. He stepped closer, as close as possible without touching her. A hurricane of emotions rattled his heart, but he pushed through, placing the sincerity of his next words above all else. She has to believe me. Our futures depend on it.
“You’re strong, Agathe.” He watched as her breath halted, as if she dreamed of rejecting both his words and proximity. “If you don’t believe me, just look at how hard you fight my decisions when others tiptoe away.”
She pinned him with a moist stare, her expression tight, giving the impression whatever she said next wouldn’t be half of what she actually felt. “I’ve been treading water for so many years, I can barely drag myself through each day. I don’t want to be strong and I can’t take anyone else along with me, do you understand?”
His heartbeat slowed. He was almost certain he didn’t want to know where she planned to go with this. “I do.”
She looked down and nodded. “Good. Then you know not to rest your hopes on me.”
“I think I will anyway.” He lifted his hand and stroked the back of his fingers to the velvet softness of her cheek. To his surprise, she leaned into him, the slight movement suggesting she craved his support. “If you’ve felt this way for years, maybe it’s time to do something about it. Maybe it’s time to stop treading water and swim.” He tilted his mouth down, amazed when she lifted hers. His pulse quickened, and he dared to press his lips forward in a soft kiss.
This wasn’t how I expected this exchange to play out.
And even as it did, he prayed the simple kiss would convey that he could be trusted. That he’d be there for her. If she would let him.
He pulled back, still intending to continue the embrace for a while longer, or at least as long as she would let him, but first, he had one last sentiment to share. “And you should also know, there’s no way in hell I’m giving up on you.”
15
A week later, and Agathe stood outside of Tiluma’s building again, her work satchel slung over her shoulder, while she puffed a warm breath into her hands. The wintery Melbourne afternoons had reached peak bitterness, and her Irish blood failed to win over her sun-loving, Afro-Argentinean roots. Melbourne’s blistering summers couldn’t come fast enough.
She tapped her card to the building’s security scanner and waited for a click to signal she had entry, all while releasing a silent wish that her return to these offices would grant an ability to hold back Luke Tindall’s gravitational pull. Her week away might have involved visiting old clients and reviewing their progress, but as much as she’d enjoyed her reprieve from Tiluma, she couldn’t avoid the site of her heart’s conflict forever.
The click came, and the glass doors slid open. She bowed her head and pushed forward, determined to check on the company’s progress, while not for a second forgetting Sue Hatchman waited inside, gathering information for Agathe’s performance review.
True to form, Sue stood ahead in the break area, her hip leaning against a bench, her smile fixed on Daniel seated at the lunch table. She’d no doubt already conducted an interview of the man about Agathe’s work so far.
“Ah! Speak of the devil.” Sue’s eyes shone, at least offering one positive sign.
“I guess being the devil, I should be glad that people are talking about me?” Agathe forced a casual return smile and ambled closer.
“That, you should.” Sue gave Daniel a regret-filled cringe. “A genuine pleasure to speak with you, Mr. Ari. I hope you don’t mind if I disappear with Agathe for a quick chat?”
“I have to get back to work, anyway.” Daniel groaned and stood. “As you know, we’re all under the gun.”
As he walked away, he gave Agathe a stealthy elbow nudge of encouragement, soon disappearing into the far reaches of the office, with its sea of pale-blue desks and black roller chairs.
Agathe’s tummy squeezed so tight, nausea soon followed. She did her best to keep her expression light, while she followed Sue’s confident stride away from the break area.
This was Agathe’s first solo gig. Even though she was convinced she’d already screwed up her big chance with her public outburst at Max over “Bring your dog to work day,” and then the day before that when she’d slept with Luke. Holy shit, she was a walking, talking disaster, and Sue’s hands-on performance appraisal couldn’t have come at a more God-awful time.
“You’ve made quite an impact here.” Sue’s voice cracked through Agathe’s anxious wanderings.
How much did Sue know, and how long until Agathe got fired?!
Agathe peered down at her feet, her footsteps small and sheepish, though maybe that sheepishness came from the fact her boss now led her toward the same meeting room she and Luke had last fought and then kissed for long minutes after. Her body had damn-near burst into flames then. Now, it did again, but for a whole other reason.
“Everyone sings your praises, you know?” Sue guided them through the door and lowered herself into a chair. “You’ve identified quite a few buried issues, as well as taken strong steps to rectify them. One employee described you as, ‘a wrecking ball, but in a good way’.” Sue swiped her cropped silver-gray hair from her forehead, her blue eyes sparkling. But then the exuberance in her gaze dulled slightly. “Though I do hear there’s a rather dire deadline coming up.”
“Yes.” Agathe took a seat opposite her manager. She locked her gaze forward and forced her teeth together to keep from gnawing on her lower lip. “An investor meeting with Ernest Schneider. It’s meant to be an informal chance for him to mingle and ask questions, but the unusual requests his office keeps sending through makes the meeting seem anything but casual. There’s the unfinished major projects he’ll probably ask about, the stagnant profits, the gaping management issues… Someone as astute as he is will likely notice, and everyone here is feeling the pressure.”
Sue leaned in, her light-blue glare taking on a glacial hardness. “Do you think you can get Tiluma to pull it off?”
“Honestly?” Agathe huffed out a deep sigh, and her posture slumped. “I’m not sure.”
Her mind turned to the major staff issues, project delays, management bungles, and the key staff member who Max had granted undue time off.
Sue kept her elbows on the desk, eyebrows raised. “It would look mighty good for you if they did.”
“I know.” Agathe gave a rueful smile. “A miracle turnaround is what I’m aiming for.”
“Luke Tindall had some amazing things to say about you.” Sue leaned back, face lighting up once again. “I’m impressed he’s given y
our advice so much personal attention.”
Heat rushed Agathe’s face, and her heart shuddered. “I know it’s unusual for a CEO to even interact with consultants, but—”
“Don’t look so panicked. I get it, Mr. Tindall is a CEO who gets involved on all levels of his company. Heck, I was a little stunned when he asked to speak directly to me about your input, but his involvement is pleasant, nonetheless. It means good things for you, as well as Slate and King’s relationship with this company.” Sue extended a hand and patted the table. “And you can relax. Luke sings your praises.”
The swelling in Agathe’s throat expanded, and her thoughts switched to her last encounter with him. How she’d laid into him about Max; how he’d rightfully laid into her about what a big mess her life was, then offered her hope, along with a kiss with more tenderness than she deserved.
And now he’d taken it upon himself to give her a glowing review. What the hell was she supposed to make of that?
Something about his gentle intimacy dug at her core, skated past her years of built-up defenses, and dredged up a well of sunken emotions. She didn’t want to swim, as he’d urged. She wanted to lash out. She wanted to cling to her old patterns with fierce loyalty, while allowing his constant provocations to justify her immediate need to run.
In particular, to run away from him.
But damn him and damn her. Because every time she did contemplate running, a soft voice in her head would ask who she’d be if she let go of all the guilt. If her endless list of emotional and psychological wounds no longer bothered her. Imagine that. But she couldn’t.
She couldn’t imagine, much less justify, a life where her inner demons didn’t give chase. Not while Sue stared at her. Actually, not ever. Her wounds had healed into permanent scars. Her shattered life was beyond repair. And maybe that was just how she preferred things to stay.
“Luke had nice things to say about me?” Her question came as a croaky whisper, one meant to divert her darker thoughts, one infused with unexpected, and highly annoying, curiosity.
Sue shrugged, her focus a little too strong for Agathe’s comfort, lighting a fear that the woman could see into her brain and knew exactly what went on in there.
Nothing good. Nothing good, for sure.
“He did mention you’re a hard taskmaster, though that’s what he’s paying you for.”
Agathe kept her expression easy, making a show out of steering the conversation away from Luke. “And what are your thoughts on my work so far?”
“You’ve made great progress.” Sue held a matter-of-fact tone and pressed her hands to the table, pushing herself up to standing. “And I do hope both you and Tiluma rise to the Schneider challenge, for everyone’s benefit, but especially yours.”
She patted Agathe’s shoulder on her way out of the room, and Agathe’s tummy twisted into imaginary knots. She looked at the clock on the wall, her meeting with Sue having gone past five p.m.
A steady stream of employees filed past the open door, and Daniel sat much farther away with Caroline at the break area’s lunch table again. Agathe abandoned her meeting room in favor of marching over to the couple, surrounded by a captivating pile of multi-colored fabric and a rustic-looking toy owl. “What are you two up to?”
Caroline clutched a patch of sky-blue material and a pair of fabric scissors, her wide and frazzled stare pinned to Agathe. “I’m part of the company’s bi-weekly sewing group, but since Tania quit last week, we’re like the blind leading the blind.”
“What Caroline means is…” Daniel gave Caroline a kiss on the cheek, their connection having clearly deepened since the food fight. “She’s now in charge and needs to somehow follow a sewing pattern and produce a model owl for the group to copy. She’s not sure she can achieve either of those things, much less ahead of tomorrow’s lunch meeting.”
Caroline rolled her pale-green eyes. “Some model owl. It’s just not happening. Either there’s something majorly wrong with the pattern, or I can’t make this owl’s jacket work.”
Agathe offered a sympathetic smile. “It looks like you handled the owl well enough.”
Caroline laughed and held up a mangled miniature jacket. “The owl is Tania’s doing. There’s no chance I’ll get this thing done in a year, much less by tomorrow.”
Daniel slumped back. “Well, there goes our date night.”
Caroline offered him a gentle pat on the cheek. “Oooh, honey, I’m sorry.”
The muscles in Agathe’s chest drew tight, and she turned away from the show of affection in favor of staring down at the paper sewing pattern unfolded on the table.
“That looks simple enough.” She pointed at the pattern.
The cutesy stare-off between Daniel and Caroline broke, and Caroline straightened. “What? You can actually read that?”
Agathe nodded, for once in her comfort zone. “As easily as I can read the time. I used to be a—” Wait. No one here needed to know her past. So, she peered down and pretended to focus on the pattern again. “I used to do a lot of crafts.” She pulled out a seat next to Caroline, hoping to distract her from any questions. “Why don’t you two clear out, and I’ll get this done? It shouldn’t take me long at all.”
Caroline’s jaw dropped open, her eyes glistening like she was about to cry. “Really? You’d do that?”
“Only if you tell me why Tiluma has a craft group when none of you are any good at crafts.” She grabbed some scissors from the table and got to cutting a whole new piece of cloth.
“We’re an enthusiastic bunch, who genuinely want to learn, but Tania was the knowledgeable one who held us together. Then she broke out in a whole-body rash after Max allowed those dogs into the office. Mind you, this was after her handmade skirt got a permanent blueberry jam stain during that food fight. So, she just up and left without warning.” Caroline jumped to her feet, arm already hooked around Daniel’s, before leaning her head against his shoulder and giving a wistful sigh.
“Mind you, after all Max put her through, management wasn’t brave enough to ask her to finish out her notice period. Anyway, so here we are, leaderless. Our group might be a clueless bunch, but we have fun, and that’s worth sticking together for. And… ummm, Agathe, seeing as we’re leaderless…” She gave a tight grimace, a warning she headed toward making one request too many. “Would it be too much trouble for you to join us for tomorrow’s lunch? You know, so you can show us what to do?”
Agathe dipped her chin and switched a glare between Daniel and Caroline’s beaming faces, just a little jealous of the beginnings of what appeared to be a simple and supportive relationship.
If only simple and supportive was something that I could do.
If only the daggers of her past didn’t hang over her head like a permanent threat. And past aside, she’d didn’t wish anyone the same lonely misery she endured every day.
“Go,” she grumbled, but it was so half-hearted that Caroline beamed with a seeming knowledge that Agathe would in fact swing by to lead the craft group tomorrow. “You two look like the last place you want to be is in this office.”
“Thank you. Thank you.” Caroline’s eyes lit up, and she hunched down, offering Agathe a rushed hug. “You’ve saved my skin.”
Caroline gathered her handbag from the table and hurried out with Daniel. Meanwhile, Agathe sat alone, surrounded by sewing needles and spools of multi-colored thread. She turned to her work satchel and dug out a pair of seldom-used, gold-rimmed glasses. She’d removed her contact lenses earlier in the afternoon, believing her day almost done, and the light was still strong enough to do so. The glasses perched on the bridge of her nose, now pinching ever so slightly as she got to work, lining up and pinning the sewing pattern to the cloth.
For the first time in years, her mind stilled with the monotony of cutting and hand stitching. The office lay quiet. Too quiet. A strong reminder of why she’d stopped with this flowery craft crap years ago. A still mind opened her up to longing, to the hollows in her life, a
nd right now, her thoughts fixated on just how much she enjoyed Tiluma’s staff and its laid-back culture. And worst of all, its enigmatic CEO.
And yeah, she did like Luke. Not only in an I want to lick chocolate sauce off your body and worship at your temple sort of way, but also in a far more disturbing sense. One where his words and encouragement made her want to challenge and change the existence she’d accepted for so long, even though she couldn’t handle challenge or change.
Then again, she also didn’t want to keep avoiding him, like she did most other pleasurable facets of her life. Her hand paused mid-stitch, and she lowered her sewing. Yes. She enjoyed every aspect of Luke Tindall, even their bickering moments. And for precisely that reason, she couldn’t have him.
“That was a really nice thing you just did.”
She jolted and snapped her gaze to Luke leaning against the archway, hands stuffed into his pockets, as though her mere thoughts had conjured him into this room.
She swallowed and flitted her attention away from his warm smile and over to the clock on the wall. “Please don’t tell me you’ve been standing there a whole hour?”
Despite her flat tone, her heart dropped to a plodding beat. She hadn’t seen him in a week, and for all her frustration, it might as well have been a year.
She’d told herself the distance would be good for her. Now that he stood there, his tantalizing lips widened with an easy grin, her skin tingling and awakening her to the sad truth she’d actually missed him.
“No, I was answering emails in the next room and heard your exchange with Daniel and Caroline.” He pulled his hands from his pockets and sauntered over. “I figured I’d give you time to get some work done before I came out to bother you.”
Bother her? Yes, he did leave her bothered. Bothered and flustered. And all the other extra British-sounding words that rolled so effortless off his overly skilled tongue, with its way-too-sexy accent.
Wow, I really need to get my mind out of the gutter!
The Last Heartbeat Page 12