by Laura Domino
It was time for him to take a big risk. He didn’t know how to cheer her up if she really did lose her promotion today. But he could try. “Benita, today’s presentation disaster probably didn’t end your career. It probably didn’t end your chance at the promotion. But if you don’t get the promotion, staying in town here with me isn’t so bad, is it?”
Quiet, effortless laughter flowed from her. “Aren’t you cute?” She laughed again. “Being with you isn’t bad. However, not getting the promotion is very bad.” Her sad smile gave him hope that she’d be fine eventually.
“I wasn’t trying to be cute.” If only she’d let him comfort her. Certainly, she could tell what he’d tried to say. Things were working out well with Charlie and the care group, the good deeds club, and getting involved in her church. She needed to know that staying is an option.
“Today, I didn’t handle things very well. I stayed at work and endured the gawkers. My clothing choice reminded me all day that even though I have a reputation at work for being among the best, most reliable problem solvers, everyone makes mistakes. Even me.”
Why did she make it so hard for him to get close to her? “But if you somehow lost the promotion, you could stay here. And we could go out. On dates. See? It’s not all bad.”
Chapter 24
How could he think that? Benita was more than a little annoyed at Adam. He was infuriating.
“Dates? That is your alternative to my success? If I’m not going to Spain, I can always just date you?” His approach to problem solving was messed up. He wasn’t solving any problems. He might as well have patted the top of her head.
“That’s not how I… that’s not what I meant.”
Adam was clearly not thinking like a reasonable man. She looked away, trying to come up with a decent sentence rather than allowing her anger to get the best of her. “No, Adam, this fight isn’t over. Spain is still on the table.”
Scooting back against the sofa, she tried to calm down so she could question him without letting it get out of hand. Making him leave her apartment was out of the question. She wanted him to stay and talk it through. If he could change his attitude about her moving to Spain, they could come up with some solutions. As long as he thought dating was the thing that would cheer her up after losing the promotion, she didn’t know what to say to him.
“Benita, talk to me.”
He would get the wrong impression if she yelled at him about his attitude. He’d walk away with thinking she didn’t want to date him. That would be the worst kind of misunderstanding. She totally wanted to date him. But that wasn’t a reason not to go to Spain. It wasn’t an “either/or” to her. Benita wanted the promotion and the guy who was helping her get it.
“What are you thinking?” He leaned toward her.
“I’ve had a long day. My brain hurts.”
“Okay. Do you want me to leave?”
“No. I want to …I don’t know…maybe just stay here with me while I get through this?”
This would be so much easier if they were already dating. But he wasn’t ready to date yet. She had been waiting a long time for him to be ready for that next step. How long was it going to take? If Benita was going to be with him in Spain, she didn’t know how to make that happen, especially if he was stuck in the same old mindset.
Success was calling, and she didn’t want to leave Adam here. Dating someone else wasn’t an option, either. Other men were available, but Adam was the one she wanted. No one else had ever been as kind and gentlemanly as Adam. It wasn’t like she’d never considered staying in town. She was willing to give up Spain for the relationship, but only as a worst-case scenario. Maybe she had ruined her chances for Spain with all the mistakes she’d made at work, but nothing could ruin her life. She’d found Adam. And she wanted to keep him.
If Spain were still an option for her, she wanted it, and she would fight for it. Adam needed to know that.
She looked up at him and caught his gaze following her neckline. “Hey. Eyes up here, buddy.” Her fingers motioned to her face. “I need to either show you the door, or I need to give you a list of all the different ways you’re making me mad.”
He leaned forward, elbows on knees, not looking at her. “I’m sorry. Go change clothes, and we’ll finish the discussion.”
“Discussion? You’ve already given up on me. You’re finished helping me. All you want is what the guys in that conference room wanted.”
“Go change clothes. I’ll wait.” He seemed just as angry as she was.
She took a moment to calm down. “Why did you give up on me?” She touched his arm.
“Put on a hoodie, and we’ll talk.”
Her dress wasn’t so sexy that she had to cover up to have a simple conversation. It wasn’t the kind of dress a prostitute would wear. He was being difficult. “Adam, just tell me why you don’t want to see me succeed.”
He turned to face her, but he was too close, his expression too serious. “I can’t talk to you in that dress. You are a very beautiful woman. I’ve thought that from the moment I saw you. I was very happy you wanted to get to know me. But now that we’re friends, you can’t wear that dress around me unless you want to be more than this.” His voice, deeper and quieter than normal, almost had a rumble to it. There was a surge of energy building in him, and he seemed to be holding it back to the best of his ability. “You’re right. I don’t want you to succeed. I don’t want you to go to Spain. Because that means I’ll never see you again. I want us to be together. I want …to kiss you.”
“Adam…”
He shook his head. “I want to kiss you right now.” He touched her cheek with his thumb. “But I can’t. You’re wearing that dress. You’ll think it’s about the dress. And you’ll think about the men looking at you today, and you’ll think I’m looking at you that way. But I’m not. I’m looking at you the same way I’ve looked at you for weeks. Since we met, I’ve wanted to ask you out every day. Not just to go somewhere as friends. I want to hold you. I want my arms around you every day. Every time I’ve felt your hand in mine, I wanted to pull you to me so I could hold you. But I can’t now. Because of the dress.”
Benita couldn’t take any more of it. “Stop talking.” She leaned up and kissed him. Pushing her body against him far enough to give his arms room to move around to her back, she stroked his chestnut hair. Her fingers raked through his soft hair. His embrace was what she’d been wanting. The kiss was worth the wait. She pulled back. “Why did you wait so long to tell me?”
Chapter 25
Adam opened up his car door for the love of his life.
Benita held her skirt close to her legs so a gust of wind wouldn’t catch it.
He stood between her and the street, blocking the wind.
“Such a gentleman. Thanks for driving me to church.”
“My pleasure.” He smiled at the woman he loved, held her hand, and enjoyed walking with her into her apartment building.
“The sermon was good. What did you think?”
His gaze stayed on her the whole time they waited for the elevators. “It was good. I took notes. I’ll have to go back and read them later. I can’t remember what I wrote. I can’t think of anything else except how beautiful you are.”
The elevator doors opened. “You’re a nut, Adam.”
“Maybe. Nutty about you.” It was crazy and corny, but his heart was solidly hers.
Inside the elevator she stood next to him, still holding hands, but not allowing any passion to surface. Her passion might have been mysteriously hidden, but her intention was undeniable. She was set on enjoying the day with him. When they arrived at her apartment, she let him in and closed the door behind them.
Adam didn’t let her get even two feet away from the door before he wrapped himself around her and kissed her. For the fourth time today.
She acted like she didn’t mind. Pulling herself free from his arms, she smiled as big as she had this morning when he first arrived.
“Wh
ere are you going?”
“We can have chicken for lunch. Do you want that or something else?” She went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.
“Chicken is fine. I would enjoy anything you put on my plate.”
“Hmm. Okay.” She pulled dishes out and prepared their meal.
“So while we’re talking about Spanish lessons…”
“Adam, we weren’t talking about Spanish lessons.” She stopped, looked up, and focused on him. “What do you want to say about it?”
“I was thinking that since we are a couple, the teacher/student relationship is a lot harder.”
“True. Not as professional with each other now, are we?” She continued working on putting a meal on the table.
“I feel like giving your payments back to you.”
“No. You earned your money. You’re a good teacher.”
“I never expected payment to begin with.”
“You mean you wanted to be my boyfriend the whole time?”
“Absolutely. From the first moment we met.”
“Aww. That’s sweet.” She brought glasses of water to the table. “No. You’re not paying me back.”
“Then we can agree that you don’t have to keep paying me from this point forward.”
“I’m your student.”
“Don’t complicate this.”
Benita put her hand on the back of his chair. “Come sit and eat lunch with me.”
He wasn’t finished. Adam had to win this argument somehow. He sat at the table with her and waited for her to pick up her fork. “Don’t you think it’s silly for us to continue as if nothing has happened between us? The payments will stop, but the lessons will continue.”
Benita closed her eyes briefly and slowed chewing. After she had a drink of water, she rejoined the conversation with a cheery spark. “Thank you for thinking of my finances, but I can pay you.”
“You have a work deadline. I want to help you accomplish your goal.”
“Good.” She sipped her water nonchalantly. Her businesslike tone kind of bothered him.
His voice raised in volume just a notch. “The payments are a source of stress for me. I need to get rid of that irritation.”
She set her fork down. “I had no idea it was bothering you that much. The money was a normal part of our arrangement. If you make things easier for me by teaching me, I should do what I can to make things easier for you by not paying you. If it’s causing stress, I’ll stop. Consider it done.”
“But it’s not just the money. There are other distractions.”
“Explain.”
“I am spending time with you as your tutor because that is why we got together in the first place. Learning Spanish is very important to you. And time is short. You have a deadline.”
“Yes. And?”
“I am spending time with you as your boyfriend because you and I want to be together, enjoying each other’s company, kissing.”
“Yes. That takes time away from the tutoring. I see what you mean.”
“And Dan is very important to me. And time is short.”
“Yes.” Her somber voice told Adam she’d finally put it all together.
Unless something happened at the hospital, he had three important buckets to pour the majority of his time into. The competing time pressures were making things difficult.
“I’m the one who has to manage the different parts of my life. I don’t expect you to do anything about it, except be understanding.”
“Of course. I’ll help you all I can. I don’t mind going to see Dan with you.”
He wanted to be with her as much as possible, but the hospital wasn’t the right place for a date. “There isn’t much to do there.”
“I want to help you, Adam.”
“I know.”
“I realize the time you have left with Dan is short. We’ll just postpone our extended time together. You can go home to get some much-needed sleep after Spanish lessons.”
“That’s not really what I want.” He smiled at her.
“I know.”
“I’ll just have to teach you while cuddled up with you on your sofa, watching Spanish movies together.”
She laughed. “If that’s what it takes.”
Chapter 26
Adam had paced a hole in his socks, praying for Dan the last couple of days. It was tough to balance his time between being with Dan, who looked worse every time he visited, and being with Benita.
Last Friday’s change to his relationship with Benita had a ripple effect on his weekend. Had he known Benita was waiting on him to ask her out, he would’ve enjoyed that kiss a lot sooner.
Benita had agreed with him that his time with Dan was special and important right now, but he would make sure to spend plenty of time teaching her Spanish. He couldn’t neglect her in her time of need, either.
Whatever was wrong with Dan was killing him. Adam wondered how long he’d been sick.
Now that he was aware of the secrets Dan and his mom had kept all these years, he wondered if Dan’s health trouble was related to the stress of wanting to tell the truth and not allowing himself that freedom.
Without following a pattern of showing up at the hospital at the same time every day, Adam tried to visit Dan while he was awake and hopefully less cranky. This time, he went to see Dan right after breakfast. The tray of food was untouched. There was a gloomy dimness in Dan’s face.
Having recognized that look the last couple of times he’d visited, Adam knew Dan had given up.
“Hello, Dan. Happy Monday.”
No response from Dan. Probably because the doctors had him on drugs that masked his pain.
“I can see that your health keeps deteriorating. Are you hoping the doctors can turn this around?”
With eyes that seemed to be transfixed on the past, good memories and bad, Dan stared at the wall. A wall of pastel color. A blank screen for the home movies in his head.
Adam couldn’t imagine what he was thinking. He just wished Dan would talk to him about it. No longer praying for a total healing, Adam looked inwardly for God’s words of comfort for Dan and said a silent prayer. He looked up at Dan again. “Has the doctor updated you on their treatment plan and on how you’re doing and…”
“I don’t want to live anymore.”
“You came here to die?”
“I didn’t come here to die.” There was something important that Dan had come to their hospital for.
“When you called Mom to tell her you were in town, what did you tell her?”
Dan looked surprised. “I didn’t ask for visitors. I didn’t ask to move in. That would be so wrong to ask her to let me live my last days in her house.”
“But you came to this hospital on purpose.”
“Trying to make it easy for her. She’s my next of kin.”
“No, Dan, I am. But you couldn’t tell anyone that I’m your son until you told me. And for some reason, for all of my life until now, you didn’t want to tell me.”
He was doing exactly as he chose. Just as he always had.
Adam saw that his hospital stay completed the pattern of Dan’s life. He came and went as he pleased. Said what he wanted and withheld what he wanted. Adam didn’t really pay attention to the pattern when he was young. He and his brother were totally oblivious to the undercurrent of secrets.
Dan shifted under his sheets and pulled the blanket up higher. He looked cold. “I came to town not to die, but to tell you the truth. There comes a time when a man can’t live with the lies anymore.”
“I’ve forgiven you, Dan…and Mom for keeping the truth from us all these years.” Adam had always loved Dan, but he was having trouble adjusting to his new reality. He couldn’t call him Dad. Too confusing. He was and would always be…Dan.
But he wasn’t Dan the Man anymore. He didn’t look anything like the guy who used to tease him and pat him on his back. He didn’t laugh. He didn’t look like he had the energy to smile. Dan’s pain had stole
n everything, even his personality. It looked like he was only surviving because of sheer stubbornness.
“Adam, take me to Alaska.”
For as long as Adam could remember, Dan had traveled to different countries for work. He didn’t come back with trinkets and souvenirs every time, but he always came back with stories. When he ran out of new stories, he always had one about Alaska. They always started the same way. Adam said the words back to Dan. “I’ve never been there, but in Alaska, there is this…”
Dan’s craggy face broke into a smile.
The comfort of his smile filled Adam. “Hmmm. Alaska, again? I figured you would’ve made it there by now.”
“No time. Too far away to go by myself. But you and I could go.”
Dan’s frail body seemed like he’d have a hard time making it across the hallway, not to mention to an airport.
Clatter in the hallway preceded the dark room brightening with light from the hall as the door opened. A nurse with a lot of orange fluff holding back her curly blonde ponytail pushed a rolling cart inside. “Hello, Mr. Dan.”
Dan rolled his eyes and turned away.
Adam nodded to her. “Hi, I can see you need to do something here. I’m leaving.”
The nurse kept her pace, not slowing the work she had come to do. “You don’t have to leave.”
“I saw several people in the hospital wearing orange. Did you see the game last night?”
“Yes. Bless their hearts. Those California boys did their best, didn’t they?”
“It was an unbelievable game.”
“The Astros were amazing. We just need one more win.” She took Dan’s blood pressure and put away the cuff.
“I can’t believe how long it ran.”
“I know. My kids all fell asleep long before it was over. I stayed up and so, apparently, did a few of the other nurses. But don’t worry. We’re all doing a great job today anyway. A couple of nurses came in late, but we’re all here now.”
“Late? Certainly not you.”
“No. And they brought extra coffees with them to appease all of us who stayed up late watching it until the early morning and came to work on time.”