by Edwina Fort
I couldn’t believe he was telling me this. I know he had an image to uphold and being a man that walks with God may not fit into that image.
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked him for the second time that night.
“I know you felt vulnerable with me knowing so many of your secrets. I figure if I let you in my head and share a few of mine with you the score will be even.”
Oh my goodness! That is so sweet. And yeah, it did make me feel better.
“So, you were telling me about the Bible.”
He smiled. “It’s a great piece of work. I’ve never seen writing like it. Many people believe the book has several different authors, but the truth is, there is only one.”
I frowned, I didn’t know much about the Bible, but even I knew there was books named after the men who wrote them.
“Isn’t like the book of Ezekiel and—”
Hmmm…this is a terrible shame. I couldn’t name another book.
“Yeah, there are different names to the books. But when I say one author, I mean that everybody who contributed to the book was possessed by the Rauch Ha Kodesh, which would make the Rauch the author.”
“The Rah—”
“Rauch…it’s Hebrew for Set Apart Spirit or what many refer to as the Holy Spirit.”
I nodded, I had heard of that.
“It explains why the Scriptures are so layered. And don’t get me wrong, I have read the works of those the world considers to be literary geniuses, and yet, I have yet to find one that can write in layers like scriptural writing.”
And then he proceeded to blow my mind by explaining to me the layers he’s noticed. “The MessiYah speaks in these parables. Parables that he says only those who are meant to hear will understand. But get this…Those who are meant to understand take from them only what they can handle at the time they read it…”
“They go away and then come back a few years later. Life has shown them a few more things, molded them a little more…and they read the parable again, but this time they see something on a completely different level than what they saw before. Now keep in mind, it’s the same parable, the same words…yet, because where they are in life, they are able to see it from a different angle.”
He smiled, getting a little excited. “Isn’t that amazing? How can one passage shift to reflect where you are in life? It’s the only book I’ve ever read that makes me feel grounded. It makes me feel lowly, dumb even.”
I chuckled. “How is that possible, it’s safe to say you’re the smartest man I know. How can any book may you feel dumb?”
“There was a man named Enoch, he lived before the flood. He mapped the heavens. He studied the course of the sun and the moon. He studied the portals they come in at the different times of the year. I too study it but compared to Enoch and the things that he knew, my knowledge is not even grade school level.”
My eyes widened. “Seriously?”
He nodded…
At some point the topic of conversation shifted to children and rather or not we wanted to someday have a family.
Although I didn’t tell him, this topic made me sad, because I’ll never be able to bear children. When I was eleven my mom threw me down the basement stairs. I began to bleed and when the bleeding did not stop, she took me to the local clinic where the doctor told me I’d suffered damage to my uterus and would never be able to have children.
Before tonight I’d thought I was fine with what had happened. But after listening to Rome speak about the children he wanted to have and how he had feelings about his younger sister starting a family before him, I silently mourned for the fact that I will never be a mother.
And then he rocked my world by looking down at me from the screen and saying…
“I had this unexplainable feeling of doom. For the life of me, no matter what was going on, I could never see far into the future. Like I’d never seen myself starting a family, becoming a father and maybe even a grandfather.” He paused for just a moment as his amber gaze traveled across space and time to meet mine.
“That was until I met you. For the first time in my life I see myself starting a family. I see myself growing old…with you. That’s not something that happens every day. For me never before. I know we just met. And this may seem a bit fast, but I don’t have to ponder on things like others…I know that me and you were supposed to meet. You my rib, shawty, I can feel it, like I can feel God’s love.”
He licked those perfect lips. “When I get home tomorrow night, I want to make love to you. And I want to do it without anything between us. I’ve seen your doctor records, I know you’re clean. I had a doctor meet me hear to check me out earlier…you’ll have the records tomorrow.”
“What are saying, Rome?” My voice quivered, I was on the verge I tears. He studied me for a moment before I spoke, reading my soul in only the way that he could.
“I don’t want anything between us, ever. Whatever happens…happens.”
Chapter 10
She’s Mine, I’ll Spoil Her If I Want To
“Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.”
― Zora Neale Hurston
Nakhti
The first round of gifts came before I got out of bed. After staying up all night talking to Rome, I was not ready to get up just yet. However, the knocking didn’t stop, so I grudgingly dragged myself up, checking my watch as I did.
Damn! It was 12:30 in the afternoon…
“I’m coming!” I called to the knocker.
When I opened the door, I stepped back dumbfounded as Rob, Milo, Hannibal, and several other men I didn’t know shuffled through the door with their arms laden down with bags and shoe boxes.
“Nossa! What’s all this?”
“A brand-new wardrobe for the lady.” Rob called back to me as he sat his load on the floor by the closet, the other men followed suit.
Milo was still not my biggest fan and barely spoke to me before he left back out the door.
“You’re going to have to forgive him, he a little salty. Rome made you tossing Lo across the room into a meme and sent it to all our phones this morning, the fellas been roasting him ever since.” Hannibal, one of Rome’s closest friends, who I met last night said after he put down his load next to Rob’s.
“I am so glad my girl was tripping and wanted me to stay with her the other day, or I might have been with them other gumps who got they a** kicked by a little slip of a girl.”
I put my hand on my hip and eyeballed Hannibal. “Little slip of a girl?!”
He held his hands up. “Oh no! I don’t want no trouble, Ms. Lady. I just meant you’re not very tall or big…that’s all.”
He chuckled. “Let me get my a** out of here before you change your mind and decide to do me like you did that fool Lo…” And then he threw his head back and laughed as he walked out the door.
The other guys followed, all except Rob. He reached into his jacket and pulled out what looked and smelled like a breakfast sandwich as well as an envelope.
“You better enjoy this now, ‘cause your man on his way back. And after he get here, it’s going to be celery sticks and tofurky for you.”
I almost threw up just listening to that as I opened the envelope. It was Rome’s test results of the blood work and the exam he’d gotten yesterday. He’d gotten tested for all STDs and received an N for negative straight down the line.
I folded the paper and placed it back in the envelope before addressing Rob. “Your brother is not my man.” I told him as I poured myself a glass of water to take my pain pills.
He pulled up a chair to the kitchen table and opened his sandwich. “Naw, shawty, you wrong. You belong to Rome. Once he gets his sights set on something, he won’t stop until he get it. You might as well make both of y’all jobs easier and just give in.”
After I took my pills, I sat down with him and dug in. “You think I’m stupid, I see all the women your brother has cha
sing after him. I’m not interested in joining his harem.”
I didn’t feel strange admitting this to Rob. Over the last couple of days, I’ve developed a relationship of honesty with him. Plus, he was really easy to talk to, which was surprising for one so young. His mother called him a genius as well, but in the way of an artist. He saw the world different from the rest of us. I think it’s what makes him so relatable to everyone he comes in contact with.
“On everything I love, I ain’t never seen him act the way he acting toward you to no other girl. Never!” He held one hand up and put the other over his heart. “This dude was on the phone waking niggas up at 5am, sending us to meet with some chick who dragged us from store to store getting clothes for you.”
He shook his head as he took a huge bite out of his sandwich. “And this sh*t ain’t cheap!”
I took a bite of my sandwich trying to pretend that his words were not affecting me. Last night after Rome told me he wanted to have unprotected sex with me, I was surprised at the pleasure that went through me.
However, I scolded myself and him, telling him that it was impossible for him to have such strong feelings for me only after knowing me for a couple of days.
“Why is that impossible?” He’d asked. “Tell me you don’t feel that force pulling us together. As a matter of fact, you don’t have to tell me…I know you feel it.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “That’s pretty presumptuous of you. How do you know that I feel it?”
“Because I’m not dead.”
I frowned confused. “Excuse me?”
“If you didn’t feel it, I would be dead by now.”
I shook my head. “That makes no sense. We fought and you beat me fair and square.”
He gave me a sad look. “Nak, Nak, Nak…tell me you’re not one of those people who lie to yourself. Yeah, I beat you in the fight, but you’re the kind of person that don’t give up. If you wasn’t feeling me, you would have did some sh*t like stab me in my neck with a rock when I went to pick you up off the ground.”
I opened my mouth insulted at what he was insinuating. “Damn it, Romeo, I am not a savage, no matter what you think.”
That made him roar with laughter. “Baby, I ain’t making this sh*t up, you stabbed a man in the neck with a rock in Berlin, I saw the footage.”
Nossa! He was right…Crap!
I held my head up high, not willing to admit to defeat. “None of what you’re saying has anything to do with why it’s impossible for you to feel so strongly about me in such a short time.”
His laughter disappeared. “And you still haven’t told me why it’s impossible.”
“That’s easy, we don’t know each other. I’m telling you I’m dama—”
“I swear to God, Nak, if you say you’re damaged to me one more time, I’m going to pull you across my lap and spank your a** till those succulent cheeks of yours turn red!”
Well…
Damn…
Can you guys tell me why his words had me squeezing my thighs together when I should have been enraged?
What the hell was happening to me?
So yeah, it took me a minute to get my thoughts together after that, but as I lay in bed, I thought about that force he spoke of. I’d been feeling it ever since I met him. I thought it was only me.
He told me last night after I insisted his feelings were premature that he would prove it to me. I asked him how.
“When a man is digging a woman, he shows her how much he values her to the best of his ability. A poor man may write a poem. A carpenter may build her a house. A gardener may bring her his prize roses. A rich man… will give her heart’s desire.” He paused for a moment as that russet gaze studied me, dissecting me more than anyone has ever done.
“It hurts my heart that no one ever showed you your worth, but I’ll be lying if I say that I’m not thrilled that the honor is all mine.”
I don’t know why all his words seemed to have such a strong effect on me. When he’s talking dirty or wisdom…it doesn’t matter, his words pull at my soul. Yes, there was something between us, I wasn’t just imagining it, although I tried to convince myself that I was.
It was the real reason I was in no rush to leave his place. Had he been any other man, I would have found a way out of these cuffs. Let’s just be real about it.
Had he been any other man, I would have destroyed this loft that had become my prison. And he was right, had he been any other man, he would have been dead, make no mistake about it.
“For the first time in my brother’s life, he’s in love. I have never seen him want anybody the way he wants you.” Rob said bringing me back to the present.
I chuckled. “How do you know that?”
“Well first of all, he’s my brother and I know my brother, but also by the look in his eyes when he watches you. The other night he stared at you in wonder. He ain’t never met a girl like you. Apparently yo’ savage a** do it for him. He like everything about you.”
He wore a little smile on his face. “He needs this, shawty.”
“Why?” I asked taking another bite out of my sandwich, just sucking up all of Rob’s words. They had me feeling like a young girl falling in love for the first time.
“He don’t want to be looked at as a hero, but he is. He’s the heartbeat of this community. I ain’t never seen nobody that give back like him. All he do is give…” He shook his head. “And ain’t nobody giving to him. Look, I don’t know how long you’re going to be here, but if you can just…”
He searched his mind for the right words. “Love him while you’re here, that will be good, ‘cause he need it.”
He spent the rest of the morning telling me about all the things Rome was doing for the community. By the time he was finished I was in tears. He was the reason so many of the children here in the community were going to college.
And get this… Not only had he paid and is still paying for the doctor who’d re-stitched my wound to go to med school, he actually studied with him to help him pass his exams, which would explain why he talked to Rome as if he was his big brother and not a patient.
Rob said Rome has an open-door policy with any of the youth who need help with their assignments, from grade school level to graduate school; they all came to him if they needed help understanding something.
It didn’t matter what he was doing. If one of the kids came by and said they needed help he let them up and helped them.
He was not only involved academically, he also pushed them to be physically fit by promoting exercise and healthy eating habits. He met with several of the youths once a week to practice Capoeira and met with his men once a week to practice Brazilian Jui-Jitsu, which would explain why he’d so easily defeated me.
What kind of person does that? Who gives so much of themselves in such a way?
Now more than ever the doctor’s words made so much sense.
Rome is a phenomenon.
But what puzzled me was how somebody like that could want somebody like me.
I am nothing like him. I didn’t preserve life, I took it. I’m selfish at best and had a hell of temper. And if I’m being honest with myself, I am a bit of a savage. I have mommy issues. Impulse Control Disorder, which no doubt stems from my mommy issues. And tons of other problems. Why would he waste his time with me?
I don’t know…
And this is going to sound strange to some of you, but for some reason the thought of it was working havoc on my libido. Not only was the kid younger than me. He was smarter than me…hell, I thought Jo was a superman.
No, Rome is the real superman.
And he wanted me. He even wanted me to bear his little genius children. The fact that I couldn’t sadden me more than I’d like to admit. I’ve always been alright with the knowledge that I’ll never be a mom, until now.
I shook away those thoughts. Those were dangerous thoughts. Instead, I focused back on the lust that was strumm
ing through my loins. If I could never have the pleasure of bearing his children, at the very least I could enjoy his body while I’m here.
My life after I left here will be one of solitude. I wanted to enjoy myself just a little while before that. I wanted to enjoy Rome’s gorgeous, young, strong body.
Was that so wrong?
The thought got me so hot and bothered I had to kick Rob out so that I could run myself a bath in that beautiful claw foot tub in hopes that a nice soaking would take my mind off my body’s demands. The doctor had left me some waterproof bandages for my wound which was perfect, because I wasn’t waiting another minute to experience this tub.
It was during my soaking that I discovered that if I call out Rome’s name his smart house dialed his phone. I thought about his parting words, when he told me if I needed him just call him, and I told him that I didn’t have his number and he’d answered back, “Just call out my name.”
So I was sitting in the tub with bubbles up to my ears and the hot water was doing nothing to quiet my libido. I think it was only making it worse. And it didn’t help that I couldn’t get Rome’s words or the look of his heated gaze as he told me he wanted to feel my heat surrounding him with no barriers between us out my head.
I wanted him…
I wanted him so bad…My Impulse Control Disorder kicked in and I held back my head and called his name.
A few seconds later his deep, capable voice came over the loud speaker overhead. “Minha Anjo, how are you, baby?”
I closed my eyes wishing he was here to take me and soothe the fire that was building in me.
“How am I talking to you right now?” I asked instead of coming right out and telling him I needed him to come quick because I was super turned on by him and wanted to have sex right now.
Wheew!!! Control yourself, Nak! Nossa! You’re going to wear the young man out!
He chuckled and for a minute, I had to wonder if he could read minds. With all the things that he was capable of I wouldn’t be surprised. He was truly a gem hidden in the heart of the ghetto.