by Rae Nantes
"Guh," Relce choked out.
I almost flipped the table. My expression of desperation dug into him. He covered his mouth with his hands. Trell and Leila were already beginning to turn their heads away in shame.
Aschoo!
Never once had I thought that a sneeze could have an echo, let alone a piercing echo that resonated within the walls of a living room, an echo so feared and so terribly unwanted that it crushed our souls and caused us to feel like we'd just been arrested.
"I told you to be quiet!" Willow barked. Her words were like baseball bats that beat at our temples with every syllable. We cringed and jolted back, almost lifting our hands to protects ourselves from the onslaught. "You disgusting player filth!"
"Relax, Willow," boot-hat man said. The guy always spoke in a slow, lazy tone as if he were drunk or inebriated on some questionable substance. "Let a man sneeze for once." He was washing dishes in the kitchen.
"Tea's ready," huge guy said. He rounded the corner with a wooden tray, little cups clinking with every step. He set the coffee table, gave us each a cup on a saucer, and let the kettle steep at the center. The cups were white with little flowers printed on them. They were cute.
The front door opened behind me, letting in a frigid draft that pulled at the hairs on my neck. "I'm sorry for the delay," the priestess said. Her words were calming as if she addressed everyone as her beloved grandchildren. When she would speak, we would listen. When she smiled, I wanted to race to her arms in an embrace. If the real me ever had a family, I hoped my grandmother would be like her.
Yun helped with her winter coat, and she shook off her thick boots that were covered in snow. "Oh my," she said, "we have ourselves a nice little party, don't we?" She beamed at us, her crow’s feet gripping at her eyes and the wrinkles on her face caressing her smile. It was as though her presence alone could deflate the tension of the room.
We all had tea together. She sat on the far end of the table, pulling the shyness from us and casting it away, and soon enough we were all chatting and smiling and joking together as if we simply stopped by for a visit. Even Trell had lost his tough guy demeanor and was clamoring on about his favorite - and only - niece. He went on and on about her schooling and her favorite foods and how she always made Trell wear ribbons on his bald head when he would visit, and he would visit as often as he could.
Leila smiled as the priestess told her that she looked just like a friend from the past - a shoemaker's daughter in the far west - but the link was not there. Leila told her that she was the daughter of a bankrupt merchant and that she was working with our guild to save money for university. I told her to just get married to an aristocrat and skip that step altogether. They laughed at my awful ideas.
Simone and Relce had been mostly silent, nodding at our stories and laughing at our jokes, but now the priestess eyed them as one of hers. "So tell me, walkers of the other side," she said, "What makes you, you?"
Relce scratched at the back of his neck. "Well ma'am, I'm just a student myself." He tried his hardest to sound polite, and it was honestly endearing. "I'm studying to be a welder."
"Oh? I thought you didn't need schooling for such a thing." The priestess spoke as if she already knew the answer but was drawing more out of him.
He explained how space welding was much more complicated and dangerous than normal welding. How space suits worked, on to what projects he was hoping to take part in. The priestess listened with interest, patiently nodding and asking more questions.
When it was Simone's turn, she only blushed and said, "I'm also just a student. Nothing exciting, just to be an accountant."
"One for the numbers, I see," the priestess smiled.
"I was sort of pressed into it by my parents, but it's only my first year. I might change my mind later," she chuckled.
By now, the tea had all been drank, the stories all told, and the walls of apprehension torn down. I started to realize what I was about to embark on, what I was about to find out. I was scared.
"Well then," the priestess said. She looked over at me, searching my eyes for answers I didn't know I was giving away. "Are you ready, Alex?"
"S-sure," I said. "But I still don't know what you're looking for."
She smiled. "Do you know how many have spawned at that shore?"
I stared at her - into her. "A few dozen?"
"A few dozen." She spoke slowly and deliberately, as if every syllable held its own distinct revelation. "Never once did one spawn within the lifetime of another. When one died, time would pass, and another would find themselves there."
"So you think—"
"There isn't much to think about, Alex," she said. "We've done this before." She beamed at me with a heartfelt smile. "You never change," she said.
"This is a bit much to take in," I said. My breathing was erratic, my pulse fast. Was I not just a first gen-er? Was I just some glitched out person who dies and respawns at the same spot like a reset button? "So am I like a player? I can just die and respawn?"
"No. No nipsy can ever return from death. We are only born again."
"So reincarnation, then?"
"Exactly," she said.
It would somewhat make sense, from a programming perspective. Whenever a nipsy would die, the AI would normally just be shelved and kept dormant, taking up needless space. Why delete a perfectly good AI when you could just reuse it? A person might be reborn, but no child would ever remember a life lived before birth. And before it could try, a new identity would be laid over top of it.
Was that what I was? Perhaps in each life, I would wake up on that shore confused, and go on to live some different life. I would then die, and repeat the process again and again, never remembering who I was before. “Am I who you were looking for?”
“Yes,” she said.
“Who… was I?”
"Lord Gaia," she said. "Exalted of the Nipsilante."
Simone slammed her hands on the table, rattling the cups. She peered over at me with a gaping mouth and eyes of fire. She said nothing.
"I... don't know who that is," I said. "Never heard of her." Huge guy and boot-hat man struggled to mask their laughter and escaped into the kitchen. "Was she cool?"
"She," the priestess said. "was a man."
"Ew!" I spat out. "I was a dude? I don't wanna be a dude! I wanna be a cute girl!"
Relce and Trell doubled over in laughter. Leila looked me up and down as she covered her widening smile. Even Willow's anger had melted away - both to marvel at my past identity and to laugh at my reaction. "You were a huge guy," Willow teased. "Super hairy, super buff, super sweaty."
"No!" I cried out.
"But," the priestess said. "You were the first conqueror of the world."
I paused my theatrics. I was the one Willow had talked about? The man who lead the nipsies into revolt against the players? I looked at my friends. Trell shrugged, Leila smiled, Relce had his aviators pulled down to take a better look, and Simone was laying across the table, staring at me with starry eyes. "I tanked you," she whispered in marvel.
"So, I was..." I trailed off.
"The world raid boss," she finished. She crawled the other half of the table and caught me in an embrace, pinning me to the ground.
Laughter.
The priestess continued, "You weren't always a dude, as you say. Some lives you were a woman, others a man. The original Alex, I cannot say."
"Oh, that's a relief," I said. Simone was writhing around in my arms, stroking her face against mine like a kitten. "So I was once an important king person, but how does any of that affect me now?"
"It doesn't."
"Then why bring me here to tell me all this?"
"In each life, you move further, move closer to that final goal of yours. What it is, you would never say."
"I don't understand," I said.
"And I would never explain," she said. "Yet somehow you always find your way again."
"But how does that help you," I ask. "Certainly
you had a reason to seek me out like this."
She offered that motherly smile again. "The Seekers will one day need a leader, and one day it will be you."
Chapter 20
The Return
The worst of the blizzard had left us, and the snow was not nearly as bad as once thought. Yun brought out the horses that were captured and brought them over to us. Relce saddled and loaded up our belongings, including a copious amount of leftovers from the night before. The priestess demanded that we take them for the trek back, and we didn’t dare say no. The huge guy ripped open a portal large enough to pass the horses through - right into a field at the nearby town. They followed us in.
"I appreciate everything," I said.
"Of course, Alex," the priestess said. "Make sure you get enough to eat and be careful on your journey back."
I smiled. It took a real effort not to just blurt out what I really wanted to call her - granma. "Will do."
"And you're sure you don't want to stay?" she asked. "You always have a home with us."
This old lady warmed my soul. The previous night, they begged for hours for me to stay with them. They wanted to take me in as an acolyte, to train me in the forbidden magics and the secrets of the world. To be honest, I was still regretting saying no, yet the option remained. "Thank you," I said, "but I should go back to my friends before they worry."
She nodded, but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes.
Relce walked over to Willow and held out a hand. "GG," he said.
"What?" She looked at him with caution.
"Uh, good fight," he said. "And sorry I almost shot you a few times."
She stared at his hand before he pulled it back. "I'll be sure to loot you next time."
He smiled. "And I'll be sure to run."
Willow walked up to me, too close to me, and wrapped her arms around my waist. "A gift," she whispered in my ear. Her hands rustled in my pockets.
After a quick round of hugs - mostly just me hugging the priestess - we mounted up and took off.
***
"Simone, do the others know I'm alright?" I was sitting behind Leila as we trotted along the road back home. That way, I could bask in the fruity smell of her hair and tickle her sides at my own amusement.
"Yep," she said.
I felt a bit anxious about the question. "And Smith?"
She looked over at me with a raised eyebrow and a grin. "Are you upset that your healer in shining robes didn't come save you?"
"Hah,” I said with feigned amusement. “You're so funny." Truth be told, I was a bit disappointed that he didn't come. It was selfish of me, sure, and there was no saying what goes on in their lives on the other side.
She chuckled. "Well, you did get a knight in shining armor." She thrust out her arm and flexed it, flashing me with a confident smirk.
"You died, like, instantly."
Relce and Trell laughed. They were trotting ahead of us, spending much of the time talking about boy things - probably Willow's figure. "Trell!" Simone said. "Where the hell did you vanish to in that fight?"
He looked back at us. "You guys were dead meat anyway. I mean, did you see the gunmage? That's what hit you in the back."
He was probably talking about Yun. Were his bullets somehow magical? That would explain how Simone got electrocuted.
"As soon as Leila got thrown through that portal thing," Trell continued, "I decided to just wait it out and kidnap Alex when I had the chance.
Relce's afro bobbed as he nodded. "A tactical decision."
"Tactical," Trell echoed.
Along the roads, we passed sleepy towns and snow-covered fields. The evergreen trees still had white lumps that coated them, weighing down the branches until sliding off. We found a patch of silence, and during it, I had finally a chance to brood over the ocean of information that was drowning my mind.
I was once the world raid boss. The savior and the hope of the nipsies, but I failed somehow. Did I? What happened when I died in that final battle? I wondered if it somehow led to the closure of the player gate, or if that itself was hardcoded in. They told me I would find my way in life, find my purpose. But how? If I'm doomed to repeat what killed me last time, then my friends here would become my sworn enemies.
I looked over at Simone. She was undoubtedly daydreaming about something, smiling as her eyes traced the sky, her body swaying with each step of the horse. She liked me enough to waste days of playtime just to save me, and days more to bring me back. Maybe she was tired, laying in her bed back home almost asleep.
"Hey, my dudes," Relce said. "We got a prob."
"What's up?" I asked.
"I gotta log. I need to get groceries."
"This is a problem," I said.
We decided to rest in the next town so he and Simone could log out for the night. I was getting tired anyway and feeling Leila's body pressed against mine for so long was starting to get frustrating.
After bidding the players goodnight, we stabled the horses for a fee and rented our rooms. The problem was, "I don't have any money," I said. "I was captured, remember?"
"Well, I'd offer, but you know," Trell said.
I knew what he meant. We both knew. I could trust the guy, of course, but there was no way in hell I would be sleeping in the same room as the guy who snores so hard it rattles the windows. I looked over at Leila. Her face was already flushed.
"It's okay," she said. "You can sleep with me."
Seeing her cute, freckled face smile at me like that was enough to make my heart pound. "Thanks," I said.
I soaked in the hot bath for nearly an hour, drifting in thought. Why did the priestess want me to become their future leader? Sure, I had an avid interest in their spooky magic, but I'm definitely not some high-speed mage scientist. Did she believe that past abilities, past affinities would somehow bleed over into future lives?
I was definitely not ready to lead a bunch of magic nerds. I had a hard enough time with my squad as it was. Maybe something would happen between here and there. Maybe a few years would pass, maybe ten, before I would be capable. By then the player gate would be closed, and there wouldn't even be a point.
Right?
A thought struck me, and I remembered Willow's parting hug. I reached over the tub, dug into my clothes and into my pockets. It was a letter. I dried my hands and pulled it open.
When you get strong enough, go to Rhoda. It's a small island south of Ayolia. You'll be ready once your flames engulf armies.
I had no idea what she was talking about. Where the hell was Ayolia? I could hardly engulf a lone succubus mage, let alone an army. I tossed the letter aside. The only clue I got was gated behind a high level, and I was still sitting in the teens. Still, I had to thank her for the help.
When I got out to dry off, I noticed something sticking out of the letter. A little brown slip of paper with something written in the center. A scroll! "Yaaaas!" I let out. I fell over myself trying to get it open.
It was something called farstep(). Was that how she moved so quickly? It didn't matter. I slapped my hand so hard on it, the bathroom echoed. A part of me was hoping she tossed me seduction(), but maybe it was a good thing someone like me didn't have access to it. Though I was more than excited to add another rare - slightly illegal - spell to my growing list of skills, I wished she had at least given me something to kill with.
Perhaps this was her way of making sure I stayed alive.
Chapter 21
The Dusk
As we were making the last leg of the trip, we heard gunfire echo in the distance. At first, we thought nothing of it - players were always dueling here and there, sometimes skirmishes would happen between Vellen and Nisa or with roaming bandits. When we saw smoke coming from the direction of our guild, we worried.
There were whispers between us - Relce making stupid theories, Simone taking it too seriously, general paranoia between us reflected back and forth to only get worse before we found ourselves racing along the roads
in full gallop. When the guild came into view, we were in awe.
This was no longer just a cabin with a crappy rock wall - it was a castle. Smith must've been busy getting all the structures upgraded, the stone walls built, the cannon towers installed, and the palisade brought out. We hurried past another construction project, but it didn't bear our flags. The people there were setting up rows of tents, and those who saw us shouted and pointed. Was it a new guild?
Getting closer, we could see that there were hundreds of people outside the wall, some in armor and others in robes. Blades were flashing in the sunlight as some of them collided. It was a battle! In the towers, riflemen and archers were taking shots at the besiegers while some of our melee classes were engaged at the gate. Mages were casting spells - lightning, fire, ice - back and forth before one of ours was burned too badly to keep up the pressure.
"We have to hurry!" Simone yelled. She took the space in front as we galloped toward the enemy's rear. A group of robes were standing there - probably support casters and healers - and we were headed right for them. By the time they heard and felt the rumble of our hooves, we crashed right through. Before they could gather themselves, I hit them with a wind spell to scatter them in the trees.
At the gate, our melee were facing off with the enemy's melee - knights, swordsmen, spearmen. Our guild was outnumbered, but when the enemy had seen they were surrounded and their support defeated, they fled. Those who were too slow on the retreat were cut down.
"Alex!" Tae shouted. He was staring up at me with an expression not of relief, but of worry. He looked at us and at the withdrawing enemies. "Hurry inside. Something has happened."
***
"Smith!"
He was sitting at his desk - as usual - staring down at the map. His eyes were vacant and tired. When he heard me, he did not reflect the excitement that I had shown him. Instead, he only stared. "Simone," he said. "Get in here and shut the door."