“Like a skeleton T-rex? A museum fossil come to life?” I asked, thinking they’d surely blame Babylon for that one.
“No, like in Jurassic Park. They’ve barely been out to the human world in centuries. They’ll buy it.”
“You sure a phoenix wouldn’t be better?” I pleaded.
Cassie waved her hand. “Nope. I don’t want to set the forest on fire or anything. T-rex it is. Can you shapeshift into a T-rex?” she asked Eshu.
“Not now,” I hastily told the demon. “She means is it possible for you to do that.”
That gleam was back in his eyes, and I didn’t trust that the guy wouldn’t smash through the roof of the house by turning into a twenty-foot tall dinosaur just to annoy Cassie.
“Sure,” he said through a mouthful of cereal.
“So, here’s the plan.” Cassie stood and began to pace. “You shapeshift into a T-rex. Then you go to Clinton’s compound and stomp on a few sheds or houses something. Make sure no one’s in them and that you don’t hurt or kill any of the werewolves.”
“You want me to check the houses before I stomp on them?” Eshu asked. “Like bend down and shove my head through the door just to make sure?”
I stifled a laugh and Cassie glared at him.
“Trust me, if you roar really loud before you do it, no one is going to be in their houses.”
“Yeah, they’ll all be shooting me or trying to claw me in half,” Eshu shot back.
“You’ll be forty feet long,” Cassie informed him. “And you’re a demon. Just…just roar really loud, kick a few trucks over and stomp a few houses, then run—but don’t run too fast because they need to be able to follow you—run through the forest to Dallas’s compound and do the same thing.”
Eshu ate another handful of cereal. “How many bullets am I going to take during this little adventure? Stab wounds? Bite marks? Splinters from the houses and trees I’m stomping? Because it doesn’t sound like you’re going to let me defend myself here.”
“I’m not. You’re a demon. You’ll be okay.”
“Will you?” I asked him, concerned. He was right. The werewolves would shoot him, rake him with their claws, and bite him. And he might very well get splinters.
He sighed dramatically. “I’ve died before. There better be a really good offering, though.”
That took Cassie aback. “You’re dating my sister. You’re living in the town. Why wouldn’t you just help us?”
I knew Eshu would do it if I asked him, but I wanted Cassie to stop being such a jerk to him, so I sat back and kept my lips zipped.
“Because I don’t like you and I don’t do things for people I don’t like. Unless they present me with an offering.” He leaned against the counter and dug around in the cereal box.
Cassie turned to me, her expression pleading. I shrugged, giving her no help whatsoever.
“Wine?”
Eshu waved a hand for her to go on.
“A bottle of wine and a bottle of rum, and a box of cigars.”
Eshu pursed his lips. “Eh.”
“And you get to be at Sunday night dinner with the family,” Cassie added.
“I already get to be there because Sylvie said so,” Eshu countered.
“Then…” Cassie looked around the kitchen. “Wine, rum, cigars, and a quarter of beef from Woody’s Butchery. And a pizza.”
“With sardines?” Eshu asked.
Cassie shuddered. “With sardines.”
“Deal.” Eshu extended a Cocoa Puff dust-covered hand and Cassie reluctantly shook it.
“So, I’m supposed to turn into a raptor—”
“A T-rex,” Cassie corrected.
“A T-rex. Then I roar, destroy Clinton’s compound and kill a few of his packmates, then head to Dallas’s—”
“No!” Cassie howled. “No killing.”
“Destroy the compound, then head to Dallas’s—”
“No, just a few houses and maybe a truck or two. Think kinder and gentler T-rex.”
“I turn into Barney and sing about friendship and love, then I smash some houses and a few trucks—”
I laughed at Cassie’s glare. “You’ve got to admit, psycho Barney would completely freak the werewolves out. Probably even more than a T-rex.”
“No, a regular T-rex like in the Jurassic Park movie, only don’t eat or kill anyone, and don’t do too much property damage,” Cassie told Eshu.
“How do I know when to stop?” he asked, eating another handful of cereal.
“I’ll banish you,” I told him, then laughed at his panicked expression. “Not really banish, silly. I’ll cast a pretend spell telling you to go back to dinosaur island and never come back again.”
“You’re certain I’m not going to actually be sent to dinosaur island?” he asked with a worried frown.
There was no dinosaur island, and I was pretty sure Eshu couldn’t be banished. It had to do with his whole “no rules apply to me, no one limits where I can go” spiel. Still, his concern—and his belief that I actually could perform that sort of spell—was cute.
“I promise.” I held up a hand. “And if I accidently send you to dinosaur island, I swear that I’ll come live with you there.”
“Dressed as Wilma from The Flintstones?” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“With a fur outfit and a bone in my hair,” I promised.
“You won’t need to bring a bone, cause I’ve got all the bone you’ll ever need.”
Cassie rolled her eyes. “Okay, enough of that. We’re set, right? Midnight you start with Clinton’s compound, and we’ll meet you at Dallas’s compound to save the day.”
“And I get my offerings when?” he asked.
“As soon as we’re done.” Cassie narrowed her eyes. “I’m not about to give them to you beforehand. Let’s just say they’re a guarantee that you’re not going to screw this up.”
“Don’t worry, eldest sister witch, I will be the best, scariest T-rex ever. Just you remember to have my offerings ready because that’s the deal and I’m not lenient when it comes to mortals who welsh on their deals, even if you are my beloved couch-witch’s sister.”
“I’ll have it ready.” Cassie stood and shooed us out of the kitchen. “Now get going. I’ve got some spells I need to work on for tonight if we’re going to pull this off. Sylvie, I’ll see you around ten?”
I nodded and headed out the door with Eshu. It wasn’t until we got in the car that I realized he still had the box of Cocoa Puffs in his hands.
“Dude. I didn’t think that was part of the deal.” I pointed to the box.
He ate a handful. “Beloved couch-witch, cereal is always part of the deal.”
Chapter 20
Eshu
I followed Sylvie to her eldest sister’s house, then hung around while they discussed which spells to use to make it seem as if they were truly battling me, all of which were alleged to not truly harm me. I had to demonstrate my acting ability and performed a death-scene that would have done Shakespeare proud.
“Not dead,” that bossy eldest sister informed me. “If you’re dead, then we have to haul your giant dinosaur body off the mountain and pretend to bury it. Just act like you’re being horribly injured by the spells, then Sylvie will pretend banish you.”
“And then what? I pretend disappear?”
“No, actually disappear, then reappear at Sylvie’s house.” She frowned. “You can do that, right?”
I could, but thought for a moment about denying the ability, just to annoy this witch. I decided against it since being dragged through the woods while I played dead was probably plan B and I didn’t like that idea at all.
“Yep, I can do that.”
The twin looked at her watch. “You’d better get moving.”
Sylvie walked over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and pulling me in for a long passionate kiss. “Be careful. I’ll see you at home after this is all over.”
Home. Not “my house.” And she’d kissed me right in fr
ont of her sisters. Oh, the things I was going to do to her once we were “home.”
“Another kiss for luck?” I asked. It was a request she granted with a smile. Then she spun me around, swatted me on my ass, and told me to get going.
I got up to Clinton’s compound with plenty of time to spare, so I amused myself by sneaking up on some of the houses and peeking in their windows, trying to get an idea of which ones I’d be able to stomp on without getting too many splinters in my feet. At midnight on the dot, I scooted a hundred feet or so down the road and transformed into a T-rex.
It had been a long time since I’d either seen a real T-rex or the Jurassic Park movies, so I decided to embellish a bit on my recollections. Sixty feet long ought to do it. Red and black, because those were my favorite colors. And feathers, because feathers are fabulous. Everyone knows that.
Done, I let out a huge roar and laughed when three werewolf guards screamed and fell out of some nearby trees. A giant dinosaur laughing frightened them just as much as my roar, and they took off, shouting the alarm. I followed, kicking over a few trees along the way for good measure and giving a few more roars just to alert everyone that they needed to get out of the houses I was about to squash.
I’ll give these werewolves one thing, they were prepared. I’d barely made it twenty strides before the woods erupted with them and they began to shoot at me. I don’t care what that eldest sister witch said. It hurt. I bled. And it was then that I decided that I needed to change the script. There was no way I was going to keep marching through a hailstorm of bullets just to smash a few houses, then turn around and head back the other way. Screw the houses. I’d just knock over a few more trees and call it done.
And hadn’t that eldest sister witch said something about fire? Yes, I distinctly remembered her saying that I should burn the forest down. It seemed a bit excessive, but I was never one to say “no” to excess, so fire it was.
I spun around, sending a few werewolves flying with my tail as I karate-kicked a few trees down and began to run back down the road—careful not to run so fast that I lost my pursuers, but definitely fast enough that they had a hard time shooting me. Every so often I’d turn to the side and shoot flames out my mouth, setting nearby bushes and trees on fire. I could tell when the werewolves realized where I was heading because a few of them shapeshifted into their wolf forms and raced around me through the woods, getting ahead no doubt to warn the others that I was coming.
By the time I’d arrived, there was a nice plume of black smoke behind me from where I’d set some foliage on fire. The other werewolves immediately attacked, and I was trapped between the two groups, getting shot at and jumped on by four-legged werewolves who were hanging off me by some very sharp teeth and claws.
It hurt. It hurt a whole lot, and I wasn’t exactly having fun anymore. My pretty feathers were torn, my leathery skin was marred with bullet holes and bite marks. The witches were nowhere in sight yet, and I really didn’t want to endure much more of this while I waited for them to show up. I’d do a lot of things for my couch-witch, but I was giving her and her sisters five minutes to get their butts up here or I was ditching this plan for something less painful.
Somehow, I managed to continue moving forward in spite of every effort by about a hundred werewolves to kill me. Once inside the compound, I got to work knocking down some houses and setting fire to a few just to be thorough about it.
Thankfully the witches arrived just before I’d run out of houses to smash and burn. That eldest sister witch was a very good actress because I completely believed she was furiously angry. She yelled something very rude at me, then began putting out the fires I’d worked so hard to create. The others began to cast their fake magical spells, and I remembered just in time that I needed to pretend to be injured by them.
Pretending to be injured wasn’t exactly a stretch since I’d been shot and chewed on extensively. I staggered around, clutching my chest with one hand and waving the other about as if I were trying to ward off the spell effects. Sylvie raced toward me, and, overcome with joy, I forgot my role for a moment and picked her up, bringing her up to my face so I could kiss her.
Except I couldn’t really kiss her because like this I was big enough to fit her whole head in my mouth. Actually, I could fit her whole body in my mouth. I don’t think she would have liked that, though, so instead of shoving her in my mouth, I just nuzzled her.
“Stop. You’re supposed to be ferocious,” she whispered. Then she made it worse by booping me on the nose.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
Was I ready? I was shot and bit and clawed and was pretty sure I had splinters in both feet and my tail. I wanted nothing more than to change back into my regular form and go home—to our home—and wait for my couch-witch to return.
I nodded and she pulled one of the spent button charms from her pocket, tossing it at me. I caught it with my other hand and groaned dramatically, setting her down before staggering around a bit and falling to the ground in a heap.
Oh, crap. That’s right. I wasn’t supposed to die; I was just supposed to disappear. Oh, well, I guess a dead dinosaur could vanish just as easily as a live one. I opened one eye to see Sylvie waving frantically at me, mouthing “go, go.”
Giving her a wink, I left that mountainside and appeared in front of our home, scaring the crap out of a goblin walking a pair of groundhogs on leashes down the sidewalk.
Home. I walked up the steps to the porch, let myself in, and smiled. Home. Well, it would be home as soon as Sylvie was here with me.
Chapter 21
Sylvie
We stood in the charred remains of Dallas’s compound, bits of the forest still smoking. I cringed, avoiding Cassie’s eyes, knowing that this was far more damage than she’d wanted Eshu to do. So many people had lost their homes, but Eshu had kept to the part of the deal that said he wasn’t supposed to harm or kill anyone. Outside of some singed fur, none of the werewolves were hurt. And I couldn’t exactly blame Eshu for roaring fire when the werewolves had riddled him with bullet holes and been hanging off him by their claws and fangs.
The good thing that came from all this was that the werewolves were not only grateful to us for helping with the fight, they owed Lucien big-time for putting out the fires in the forest as well as Cassie for putting out the ones in the compound. And I had no doubt that everyone in the town would offer to come up and help them rebuild, further cementing a new relationship between the werewolves and the other beings of Accident.
Dallas came forward, his silver hair full of soot, the burns on his hands already healing. “Thank you. Thank you, Perkins witches and demon mates for seeing the fire on the mountain and coming to our rescue. I am in your debt. And you.” He turned to Clinton. “My son who disgraced himself by refusing to challenge me, by turning traitor and cowardly sneaking away with a group of other traitors to steal part of our territory. You had every advantage here. You could have watched the monster kill us and burn us and been in a position to take the entire mountain as the new pack alpha.”
“Wasn’t gonna let a giant lizard destroy the home I grew up in or watch idly while he killed wolves I always considered my friends and family,” Clinton said with a gruff note in his voice. “Couldn’t stand by and let my father fight without me by his side.”
Dallas clapped his son on the shoulder. “I want to offer reconciliation. Come back to the pack, and all will be forgiven. You’ll be my son once more, and your followers will be welcome back with no penalties.”
I saw the doubt in Clinton’s eyes and knew what he wanted. He’d been an alpha. He’d had his own pack. It would be impossible for him to go back now and be happy.
“Let’s negotiate this in my office tomorrow morning.” I stepped forward and put a hand on each werewolf’s arm. “Just the two of you, with me as a witness. This is a family matter. You should both discuss this in private, then make a joint announcement to both groups of werewolves.”
Clinto
n nodded. “I like that idea. How about you, Da?”
Dallas thought for a moment, then nodded as well. “Yeah. There are details to work out that should be private to our family—just the two of us. And Sylvie as witness, of course.”
Cassie came forward at that. “Then let’s all head back to our homes for the night. Dallas, once you’ve assessed the damage, any displaced wolves are welcome to stay in Accident until there are suitable accommodations up here for them. I can ask Hollister to use his hotel, and several of us in town are set up for guests.”
Clinton held up a hand. “We’ve got room at our place as well. None of our houses got damaged, and everyone’s got a spare room or bed for anyone who needs a temporary spot to den down.”
Cassie smiled over at him, then looked back to Dallas. “Of course we’ll help you rebuild as well. I’ll put out the call, and by tomorrow noon we can have a crew up here with supplies helping to put up new homes and whatever else you need.”
Dallas lowered his head, but not before I saw the sparkle of what I was pretty sure were tears in his eyes. By the time he looked up, they were gone.
“I appreciate that, Cassie.” He reached out and patted her shoulder, sliding his hand down to brush against the side of her boob.
Some things might change, but some things would always remain the same—like Dallas being a letch. I looked over and saw Tink glaring at him and realized he was really going to get an earful and maybe more tonight. Then I remembered what she’d told me and wondered if that wasn’t his intention all along.
We all piled in our cars, following Cassie and Lucien as we drove down the mountain and back to town. I was covered in soot, smelled like smoke, was tired and sore—but I was happy. Eshu was right. Things had somehow ended where they were supposed to in spite of the convoluted path they’d taken. I just had to make sure the negotiations tomorrow went the way I wanted them to go, then we could all rest easy that there was peace among the werewolves.
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