Dignity

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by Jay Crownover


  “Yeah. Tell me what I can do to make you feel better.” My voice was gruff and slightly unsteady.

  She tapped my belt buckle again. “Well, you’ve seen me naked, I think it’s only fair I get the same opportunity.”

  I balked at her and my hands spasmed where they were holding onto her. “You want me to strip for you?” It came out slightly strangled, more from surprise.

  She laughed, her breath light and warm against that iron heart on my chest. “Well, you’ve seen me at my most vulnerable. Stripped down, bare, nowhere to hide. Return the favor, Stark. I think I would find that very comforting. It would make me feel way better.” She was teasing and she was taunting, but her fingers were insistent on my belt so I took a step back and replaced them with my own.

  “You’re fucking with me.” I knew it and she knew it, too, but I still took my belt off and started to pry open my jeans. Her dark eyes were fixed on each and every movement, her dark, feather eyebrows arched with interest. She shrugged and gave me a slight smile that made my stomach flip.

  I bent down and tugged my boots off, and when I lifted back up, there was no more humor in her eyes. They were glossy black, shining with something that made my heart beat faster and my skin feel too tight. I pulled my zipper down, carefully. The flesh behind it was rock hard, aching and pulsing in time to my heart beat. I grunted when the pressure was off of my dick and swiftly yanked the denim down my long legs so that I was standing in front of her in nothing more than a pair of black boxer briefs. The tip of my cock was bulging behind the elastic, eager and ready for whatever she had in mind.

  I put my hands on my hips and spread my legs so she could look her fill. Her eyes were caught on the ridge behind the black cotton but they moved over the rest of me, hungry and curious. Her hand darted out and touched the front of my thigh. I almost moaned at the contact.

  “Tesla.” It skipped over to the side where my muscles were locked so tight they were quivering. “Edison.” Down by my knee. “da Vinci.” The other side of my knee. “Einstein.” Up higher on the inside of my thigh, so close that if she moved her hand at all, her knuckles would touch my balls. “Curie.” Around to the back of my thigh. “Newton.” She let out a breath and I wished to God I’d managed to pull the cotton down already so I could feel that wet heat on the tip of my cock which was already damp and leaking pearly pleasure.

  She circled back around to the front of me, her fingers trailing around my waist as she went. “You are a beautiful, interesting man, Snowden Stark. I’ve never met anyone like you.”

  Usually when someone said I was interesting, they meant I was weird and they had no idea what to do with me. With Noe, it was clear on every line of her pretty, expressive face that she meant what she said. She was fascinated by me, intrigued and confused. She wasn’t alone, because I felt the same way about her.

  She put her finger in the waistband of my underwear and tugged. “Off. Fair is fair.”

  I sucked in a breath because her hand was so close to my dick. All she had to do was move a millimeter to the right and she could hold, touch, stroke it. I felt my pulse pound at the thought. Throwing my head back so I was looking at the ceiling and not at her, I did as she asked, tugging the black material free around the throbbing, thick flesh that immediately jerked and bounced against my lower stomach. I heard her suck in a sharp breath and all that emotion filling up the space between us shifted, turning from something thick and oppressive into something that fluttered and danced over my skin.

  Anticipation.

  Neither one of us moved or said a word. Visions of me standing in the room as she came out of the shower were like flashpoints in my brain at this moment. Both of us wanting, neither of us sure, forced to make a move but unyielding in our actions. My cock swayed between us, huge, heavy, hard, and wanting. I couldn’t remember a time in my admittedly scarce and limited sexual history where my body reacted so strongly to another person. I was usually vaguely interested, but with Noe, I was more than that. I was invested. It was like every single part of me was attuned to every single part of her. I breathed when she breathed. I blinked when she blinked. My heart beat when hers did, and my dick, well, it grew, preened, practically screamed at her for attention. I’d never been so needy, so desperate for contact with another person. I was used to craving distance and space. With her, there was only one way she would ever be close enough.

  She exhaled and looked up at me as she lifted her hands and slid her tiny t-shirt up over her head. I couldn’t hold back a groan at the sight of her pert, pointed nipples. She was built sleek and lean. I loved it. She was built for performance and speed, like all of my favorite machines.

  “I heard a lot about you before you came looking for me, Stark. Rumors, whispers, speculation. I had this idea of who you were, this dream of the kind of guy I wanted you to be. I put you up on this fantasy pedestal, up so high no one, including me could touch you.” I watched wide eyed as she pulled the lace of her panties down her legs so that she was suddenly as naked and exposed as I was. Most of her bruises had healed, but she was still just as marked up as I was. Hers were far harder to see since they lined her insides and slashed across her soul. She was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen. “When you shut the door in my face, when you told me not to pick fights I couldn’t win, you tumbled off that pedestal so fast I didn’t even see you hit the ground.”

  I swore under my breath. “I’m sorry.” I wanted to touch her, to taste her. I wanted inside of her, and for the first time in my life, I ached to let someone inside of me.

  She gave her head a quick shake, the red strands whipping out. “I’m not. No one could touch you up there, no one could reach you on that pedestal. Down here with the rest of us, I have no problem getting my hands on you.” Her eyes lifted to mine, darker than the night outside the window behind us. “You want to make me feel better, Snowden, then do it. Make me feel better.”

  I’d been compared to a lot of different things in my life. A robot. A machine. An automaton and she just called me the Tin Man. I didn’t feel like any of those cold, metallic things at the moment. No, now I was something else. Something animalistic. Something primitive. Something raw and unleashed.

  A growl ripped out of my chest and I moved on her like she was prey that was going to turn and flee, leaving me hungry and empty. My mouth was on hers, my hands spanned her narrow waist, lifting her up so she could twine her legs around my hips. My cock hit her warm, wet center and leapt with undisguised excitement. Our chests pressed together as I moved her toward the giant bed in the middle of the room. My heart thundered as hers raced. Her nipples were tight and poked impatiently against the ink on my skin. I wanted them in my mouth. I wanted them against my teeth. I wanted them covered in the thick, sticky liquid that was already seeping out of the slit at the tip of my dick. The lights from the window outside painted her skin various shades of blue and red. She was Technicolor, brighter than anything I’d ever had my hands on, and far more precious.

  I devoured her. My teeth and tongue eating up every surprised sound she made. I kissed her harder, teeth clicking, tongues dueling, sighs mingling, as I tried to get in as deep as I could go. It wasn’t a skilled kiss. It was sloppy, messy, desperate. I kissed her like I was trying to eat her whole, which I was. I wanted to inhale her, consume her. I wanted to take everything she was offering and never give it back. I was greedy, trying to get my hands on everything she was and refusing to let go, even as she wiggled against me impatiently.

  That little shimmy had my hips involuntarily grinding into her soft, sweet spot. The tip of my cock hit her damp fold, felt her body flutter around the pressure, and I almost dropped her because it felt so good. I hit the side of the bed and bent my knees so I could sit her down on the edge. When I was done, I was on my knees between her spread legs. I stopped breathing for a second at the sight of all her shiny, pink skin. She twitched like she was getting ready to close her legs against my intense scrutiny, but I used the width of my shoulders
to stop her. I was so close to knowing how she tasted, how she felt spread across my tongue. I put a hand on the inside of her knee and trailed it up the inside of her thigh.

  She quaked and quivered against my fingertips and when I looked up at her, I was surprised to find her reaching for me. She tagged my glasses and tugged them off my face. I felt my eyebrows furrow as I told her, “I can’t see without those.”

  She tossed the expensive frames on the bed next to her and flopped on her back with her forearm over her eyes. “I don’t think you need to see what you’re doing down there. You can go by touch.” She sounded slightly amused and a little embarrassed.

  I huffed out a little laugh and leaned forward so I could give her one long, thorough lick. It brought her hips up off the bed and had her heels digging into the side of the mattress. I grinned against the sensitive flesh under my lips and let my tongue dart out to tap against that sensitive bud hidden within those slick folds. “Yeah. I think I can feel my way along with no problem. If I get too far off track, just let me know.”

  She moaned as I locked her clit between the blunt edge of my teeth and pulled, swirling my tongue over the trapped bundle of nerves. Her hand found the back of my head and her nails dug into my scalp. Her back arched and I felt her whole-body shudder in my hands. She was small, but every response was huge. She wasn’t shy about letting me know what she liked, and her body couldn’t hide the way it reacted to mine. She was hot, quivering against my face, liquid and molten where I tasted her. She rocked against my tongue, hips lifting and grinding as I fucked her with my mouth. She moaned and moved the arm that she had crossed over her eyes to her chest.

  I wished I had my glasses on so I could watch her touch herself. She was all a blur of creamy skin and dark hair. If I narrowed my eyes just a tiny bit, her features came into stark relief and so did the pleasure that was etched in every line. Her fingers plucked at one straining nipple and moved to slowly roll over the opposite one. It was hot. She tasted good, too. Bright and warm on my tongue, she wasn’t someone I was going to be able to forget. I liked everything about her, including the way she mumbled my name and pulled me closer with her hold on my head.

  I was only too happy to oblige. I moved farther into the V between her splayed legs. No more being shy or trying to cover up, she was open, exposed. She was inviting me in, and once I was there, I planned on making a place for myself. I flicked my tongue over her clit and moved the hand that was holding her leg to the bed down to her soaked opening. My fingers found her entrance with a slick sound. It was loud in the quiet room, sexy and unmistakable. She was turned on, she wanted me, and I could feel it as she pulsed around my fingers. All of her was small and compact, this part of her was no different. It took a second for her body to soften, to loosen enough around the thick digits that were stroking her. I spread them apart, twisted my wrist and pumped them in and out of her. Her breath caught and she went still as I curved my fingertips, searching for that tender, elusive place that would break her into a million pieces.

  Technically, I knew what women liked. I was an observer by nature, a student, and a studier. Whenever I was with someone, I paid attention to what worked and what didn’t. There were things that all of them seemed to enjoy the most, so those were the things I tended to focus on. Because of my attention to detail, I felt I was a skilled lover. I knew all the tricks of the trade, but I’d never, not once, felt a personal investment in getting my partner off. I knew they would, I made sure of it. At least not until this woman who was currently writhing and moaning under me. I didn’t want her to come in my mouth because I knew what I was doing. I wanted her to come in my mouth because I was the one doing the touching and tasting. I wanted her to get off because of me and all over me. I was invested as hell in Noe’s pleasure and bringing her as much of it as I possibly could.

  Lick, suck, swirl. I was relentless against her clit as she bucked against my invading fingers and ground herself down on my hand over and over again.

  “Snowden.” My name was breathless and pleading. No one called me that but her, and it felt significant. To her, I was more than Stark.

  “You’re so tight. I can feel you squeezing my fingers. I can’t wait until it’s my cock you’re strangling.” She gasped and I saw her eyes fly open as her head lifted so she could look at me. “You’re fucking hot, too. It feels like I’m sliding my fingers through liquid fire. Can you feel how wet you are?” She twisted up and scratched at the back of my head. I nudged her slippery folds with the end of my nose and breathed out the warning, “You’re gonna have to get a whole lot wetter than that when I fuck you, Noe. My dick is a hell of a lot bigger than my fingers.” I inserted another one and twisted my wrist at the same time as I dragged my teeth over her straining little clit.

  She gave a muffled scream as her entire body tightened and locked around me. I felt the heated flood of her release circle my still gliding fingers as her silken walls fluttered around them. I lifted my head so I could kiss her right below her belly button and grinned as her stomach hollowed out. She shifted so that she could put her hands on my cheeks as I levered myself up and over her, blocking out the less-than-stellar view outside the big windows.

  “I take your glasses off and you become some kind of dirty talking lothario. Who would’ve thought?” She was breathless and pliant beneath me. I loved that she looked a little dazed and bewildered.

  “Like a kinky version of Superman.” I kissed the side of her neck and braced myself above her with the bar of my forearm over the top of her head. The bulk of my body covered her delicate frame from head to toe.

  She lifted her legs and wrapped them around my waist as I slowly dragged my cock through the moisture that was left between her legs. She dug her heels into the curve of my ass and told me, “You’re your own kind of hero, Stark. You don’t need to be a knock off of one that doesn’t exist.” I closed my eyes against the way her words made that vacant place in my chest, where my heart should be, ache. I wasn’t any kind of hero.

  “I need to get a condom.” She twisted my head all around, but I could never quite shake that logical reasoning that always had me in its stranglehold. If I got inside of her uncovered, skin to skin, it was going to be all over. There would be no thinking clearly and doing the right thing.

  She stared up at me with wide, honest eyes and I almost said ‘fuck it’ and sank into her bare without asking her if it was okay.

  “I’ve got an IUD. I’m good, clean.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Hard to date when you’re homeless.”

  I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes against the reminder that she had nothing and wanted to keep it that way, that she was going back to nothing, disappearing once it was safe enough to do so.

  “I’m clean. I’m picky and I’m careful. It’s hard to date when you don’t have a heart.” Even though the once absentee organ was now pounding furiously and erratically in the center of my chest.

  She scowled but her quick nod gave me the go ahead to take her bare and raw, but her scowl quickly melted when I rocked forward, opening her up and making room for myself inside of her.

  We both groaned. We both moved closer. We both closed our eyes. It was intense and it was electric. I felt every quiver and shiver along my bones.

  “You feel better yet, Noe?” The words came out on a rasp as I worked to get a few more inches of my throbbing, aching cock into her snug channel. I was right. She was tight enough to strangle my dick, her body holding onto mine like she never wanted to let me go. God, I hoped the rest of her felt the same way because after this taste of her, after pounding into her, riding her, owning her, I wasn’t sure that I was going to be able to let her walk away from me.

  “Getting there, Snowden. I’m getting there.” There was humor as well as passion in her voice and when she came the second time, she took me with her, and I was pretty sure neither one of us could feel anything but good.

  I’d been born to be one of the best, but I was broken. With her, I was somethin
g in between those two things, and for the first time in my life, I wondered if I had found what ‘normal’ looked like. If I had found the place where I could just be . . . be what this woman needed and whom I needed to be in order to find happiness.

  Noe

  I was back to being impressed by him.

  It was hard not to be when all that muscle and strength was moving over me and inside of me. It was also impossible to keep my head clear when those stormy eyes watched every response, picked up on every reaction, and dissected my every shiver and shake. He was studying me, learning me, observing me, and there was something undeniably erotic about having all that intensity and focus directed at me and nothing else. It was like I was the only thing in his entire world that existed. There wasn’t a crumbling city outside the windows. There wasn’t a looming plan for revenge eating away at him. There was no axe hanging over his head, no worry that he had to pretend to be something he wasn’t to keep himself out of the government’s hands. There was just me, and only me, and there were the things he did that made me scream his name and fall apart in his big, skilled hands. It was a powerful feeling, intoxicating and heady.

  Having Snowden Stark’s entire attention did more to make me feel like I was in control of my life and my choices far more than any of the years I spent sleeping around. He knew the only reason he had access to my body was because I let him. In turn, he let me know that he was appreciative of the gift and planned on taking really, really good care of it. I wasn’t going to be able to sit down without cringing tomorrow, but the multiple orgasms and mind-numbing pleasure made any discomfort worth it. The man kept saying he wasn’t any good with people, and I wanted to tell him it didn’t matter because he was far better with his hands and his mouth than anyone else I’d ever encountered, not to mention that glorious, gigantic cock of his. With that face and body, he shouldn’t be allowed to pack such an impressive piece of anatomy between his legs. It wasn’t fair to the female population. On second thought, I was going to let him go on being bad with other people. His standoffish and chilly personality was more than likely the only thing saving him from having to beat off interested parties with a stick. He was as close to irresistible as any man could be.

 

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