by P. A. Mason
“I played my fair share of pranks in my younger years,” She grinned. “This was one of my favorites. Just add water and you’ve got yourself an instant swamp.”
“That thing better not turn up at my tavern,” Jurgen picked at his teeth with a frown. “Or I’ll know who to blame.”
Nora’s cheeks colored, and she gave a dismissive wave. “Now, just the matter of getting it in the fountain.”
“You sure this is a good idea? I mean, I hate to be the voice of reason, but won’t you be in all kinds of trouble with the baron?” Gretchen puffed out her cheeks.
“Oh no, dear,” Nora turned her grandmotherly smile to Gretchen. “It’s you that will take the rap for this.”
Gretchen’s eyes boggled and her mouth worked, but all that came out was an undignified squeak.
“I meant it when I said you owed me.” There was a glint in Nora’s eye. “And after using my only sunstone for no good reason, I figure that’s double. Besides, don’t you want to help the girl?”
Gretchen’s eyes flickered to the courtyard where Rapunzel had emerged to chatter among the crowd. She was certainly drawing eyes, and Gretchen couldn’t imagine anyone scoffing at the towering beauty. She looked like one of her hotels, with the dress a shining silver to match the pictures of the pristine stone blocks.
“I suppose I owe the pair of you,” Gretchen sighed. “But the prospect of a vacation to the dungeon takes all the fun out of this. How are we going to get it down there?”
Jurgen plucked the box out of Gretchen’s hand and drew his powerful arm back to toss it over the wall. Its lid opened in midair and it landed in the fountain's base with a neat splash. Nobody seemed to notice, and it took a few seconds before the bubbles started. They watched with bated breath as the clear water turned an unpleasant shade of brown. The first sign of the smell came from below when the partygoers sniffed at the air with revulsion painted on their faces.
“That thing is amazing,” Gretchen gasped. “If we ever get it out of the baron’s strongroom, I’m calling first dibs.”
“Ah,” Nora tapped her nose with a finger. “If he blames you, then I’ll handle the cleanup and hold it in my safekeeping.”
The first wafts of the putrid stench reached the roof, and they held sleeves to their noses. Below, people were fleeing inside or coming out to see what the commotion was about. Rapunzel stood pointing a finger at a solid form, although they could only see the back of the ogre.
“Let’s get out of here.” Jurgen’s sleeve muffled his voice.
With one last glance, Gretchen hurried after Jurgen and Nora, giggling despite the horrid smell which permeated every sense. Her eyes watered as she trod down the stone steps, and although she knew she was in a world of trouble come morning, she intended on making the most of what the night offered.
***
“Yoo-hoo, anyone home?” Gretchen bashed on Mildred’s door pointedly ignoring the spectacular garden surrounding her.
“Gretchen?” Mildred appeared from around the side of her fancy brick house holding a hand shovel and an uprooted leafy mass. “You have some nerve turning up here.”
“I can explain.” Gretchen held her hands up. “Just got out of the clink under the baron’s fancy house on the proviso I swing by.”
Mildred’s eyebrows climbed her forehead. Pumpkin fraud hardly constituted jail time.
“Now, I have a copy for you, and I left one with the baron.” She fumbled in her pouch and drew out a scroll tied with string. “A full confession along with a solemn pledge that I will never enter another pumpkin growing competition again.”
Mildred pursed her lips and took the proffered scroll. After inspecting the tight script penned by the baron’s clerk, she took a deep breath and looked Gretchen in the eye.
“That wasn’t the part that was unforgivable, you know?” Her composure cracked, and her lip trembled. “To say those awful things about Esme’s disappearance? I didn’t deserve that.”
Guilt clawed at Gretchen’s stomach just as grief washed over her mind. Perhaps she had misplaced the blame, but if Mildred hadn’t sent Aunt Esme on that goose-chase none of it would have happened.
“I just… well once I find out what really happened, you’ll be the first to know.” She pushed the gravel at her feet around with her boot. “Aunt Esme always spoke highly of you.”
“I considered her a dear friend.”
“About the competition,” Gretchen puffed out her cheeks. “Nora had no idea that I’d tampered with the pumpkin. Divination is a bit hit and miss like that, and it wasn’t a growing potion that interfered. Look, I know I’m in no position to ask favors, but this really wasn’t her fault, and the competition means the world to her—”
“I suppose,” Mildred interjected, “that if you’re out of the game, there’s no reason for Nora to be ousted. I’ll expect an apology, of course, for throwing that muck at me. In writing.”
Gretchen’s eyes bulged, but she plastered a polite smile on her face and nodded. There was no way Nora would agree to that. But Gretchen has seen her signature enough times to make a fair imitation. And if she got found out, well, she’d deal with that when it came.
Hey Folks,
I hope you enjoyed this hairy episode of Gretchen’s (Mis)Adventures. This little production line is well on its way, and each month a new title will land in the Kindle store. As a new series, leaving a review will help spread the word of Gretchen’s shenanigans to the masses, and if you’d like to follow along on social media, I would be thrilled to have you among the crew.
Remember though, the books are only half the fun. Each title comes with its own bonus web-based content which you can find here. And if you sign up to the newsletter, you’ll score a free copy of episode 0.5 and keep up to date on exclusive offers and new releases.
I hope to see you for the next installment where things get a little… amphibian.
P.A. Mason
www.gretchensmisadventures.com
Gretchen’s (Mis)Adventures
Ep 0.5 –‘Troll Hunter: Witch for Hire’ – Available free on the website
Series One
Ep 1 – The Damsel Gauntlet
Ep 2 – Of Hair and No Hair
Ep 3 - A Royal Froggy Problem