Secrets of My Heart

by Tracie Peterson

  Seth grinned. “I’m surprised you didn’t.”

  “It took all my Christian charity.” Gabe shook his head. “I can’t say anyone is sorry that he’s gone.”

  “I think that includes Nancy,” Seth replied without thinking.

  “I’m bettin’ you’re right. I never did see why she married him. He hardly gave her the time of day, but he did buy her a lot of stuff. Ma used to wonder at the amount of money he must have spent to build that monstrosity of a house.”

  “I can understand why. It’s quite the place. My guess is no less than ten thousand dollars.”

  “Ten thousand dollars.” Gabe shook his head. “I could do a lot with that kind of money.”

  “We all could.” Seth checked his pocket watch. “Say, it’s nearly noon. Why don’t we make our way over to Nancy’s and beg some lunch? She puts on quite the spread for her boarders.”

  “Ma said she’d taken in boarders. Seems like a good idea when you have a house that size.”

  Seth got to his feet. “She wanted to be able to support herself.”

  “She doesn’t need to, you know. Pa has a trust with money for her. He has one for each of us.”

  Seth grabbed his coat. “I think Nancy likes feeling needed. She said something once about hating to feel useless. I think her houseful of ladies gives her purpose.”

  “Well, I know Ma would prefer her purpose be back on the farm.” Gabe rose and shook his head. “They’re hoping I can convince her to leave Portland.”

  “Do they realize that I’ll be here, trying to convince her to stay?” Seth asked, throwing his friend a challenging look.

  Gabe laughed. “My money is on you. I never did have the power of persuasion where Nancy was concerned.”

  Seth locked up the office and followed Gabe outside. It was one of the prettiest days he’d seen all summer. The sky was void of clouds, and everything seemed crisp and alive.

  “You definitely picked the right day to come to Portland,” he said.

  “Are we walking?” Gabe asked.

  “It’s pretty enough but quite a distance. I’ll get us a cab, and that way your reunion will come about much quicker.” Seth whistled and waved at a carriage parked across the street. The driver quickly brought his horse around and pulled the carriage up in front of Seth and Gabe. Seth gave him the address, then settled into the small space with Gabe’s broad shoulders taking up most of the room.

  “You get much bigger and they’re going to write songs about you,” Seth said.

  Gabe only rolled his eyes and shook his head. They chatted about the town as the carriage made its way west. Seth pointed out a new bank, several new stores, and a club where men could meet after hours.

  “It’s said you can get a good game of cards or an intense lecture on divinity all on the same night. You need only pay the hefty dues of ten dollars a month.”

  “Ten?” Gabe shook his head. “I have better places to put my money and can play cards and get lectured for free at home. Sometimes I swear my mother should take the pulpit. Especially if vinegar is involved. She absolutely believes there is nothing vinegar won’t cure, clean, or fix.”

  Seth laughed heartily, remembering Grace Armistead’s penchant for vinegar. They soon arrived at Nancy’s and saw, even as they disembarked from the carriage, that she was entertaining a gentleman on her front porch.

  “Looks like she’s busy,” Gabe muttered.

  Seth paid the driver and turned to see who the man might be. He recognized Gerome Berkshire almost immediately. Further inspection showed his horse and buggy at the curb. “She’ll be glad for our interruption. The man is a pest.”

  Gabe stiffened. “Does he cause Nancy problems?”

  “Nothing she hasn’t been able to handle. I’m not sure of his involvement with her dead husband, but I believe he fancies Nancy, and that matter I will see to myself.”

  Nancy and Gerome were on their feet as Seth and Gabe approached the porch. Nancy ran down the steps to greet her brother. “When did you come to town, Gabe?” She remained on the next to the last step to hug him.

  “I figured it was due. I hadn’t had time since the funeral, and I felt bad about that.”

  “I’ve hardly been easy on my company, as I’m sure Mother must have told you.” She turned to Seth and smiled. “Thank you for bringing him by and for coming as well. Would you like to join us for lunch? We were just about to go inside.”

  “I must admit, lunch was on my mind.” Seth drew off his hat, and Gabe did likewise.

  She nodded. “Then come along, both of you. Seth, you know Mr. Berkshire. Gabe, this is Mr. Berkshire. He was an associate of my late husband’s.”

  “Mr. Berkshire.” Gabe’s tone was guarded.

  “Mr. Berkshire had business with Albert regarding a shipment of goods, Seth. I’m hoping you might help him figure out more on the matter. He is the second man to claim Albert owed him goods, so I’m hoping we can get to the bottom of it.”

  “Of course,” Seth said. “Mr. Berkshire, why don’t you give me the particulars? Better still, could you come by my office this afternoon and perhaps bring your receipts?”

  Gerome Berkshire looked less than pleased. “I might be able to arrange it.”

  Nancy took the gentlemen’s hats and placed them on the foyer table before showing them to the dining room, where the Clifton sisters were just taking their places.

  “Bedelia, Cornelia, I would like you to meet my brother Gabe.” She turned to her brother. “Gabe, this is Miss Clifton and Miss Clifton.”

  He gave a brief nod. “Ladies.”

  Bedelia eyed him almost suspiciously. “Nancy’s brother. You certainly are tall.”

  Gabe laughed. “Yes, ma’am. Our father is as well.”

  “He’ll be short enough seated at the table,” Nancy said, motioning for the men to take their places. “The gentlemen would like to join us for lunch today if you ladies don’t mind.”

  “Well, it is your house,” Bedelia declared, staring at each man before drawing her napkin onto her lap. “I hope we shan’t have explicit discussions on tasteless subjects.”

  “Of course not,” Nancy replied before anyone else could.

  Gerome and Gabe took their places, but Seth felt compelled to follow Nancy into the kitchen. From the scowl on Gerome’s face, he knew his decision didn’t set well.

  “Sorry for just showing up like this. I can at least make myself useful,” Seth said, looking around the kitchen to see how best he might help.

  “Not at all. I’m glad you’re both here. If you’d be so kind as to carry this tureen, I’ll get the biscuits.”

  “Smells good. What’s on the menu?” Seth picked up the large tureen only to realize it was plenty hot. He put it back down and grabbed a towel.

  “Chicken and noodles in cream. My mother’s recipe. And later, if you’re still hungry, I made two berry pies.”

  “Sounds like heaven.”

  They made their way back to the dining room, where Bedelia was actually smiling at a story Gabe was telling. Seth wasn’t sure how Gabe had managed to win the older woman over so quickly, but it was to everyone’s benefit, and he wouldn’t speak against it.

  “Gabe, would you offer grace?” Nancy asked.

  He nodded and bowed his head. “Father, we thank you for the food you’ve provided and the hands that have prepared it for us. I ask a special blessing on the lives of the ladies here, and the gentlemen too. Guard our hearts, Lord, and show us thy ways. Amen.”

  “Amen,” Bedelia said in a hushed sort of reverence. Gabe was impressing her, to be sure.

  Seth pulled the lid off the tureen and put it aside before offering the ladle to Bedelia. She helped herself and then dished up some for Cornelia. Seth put a good amount of food on his plate before passing the dish to Gabe. He could see that Berkshire watched him with hooded eyes. He reminded Seth of a snake just waiting to strike.

  What had Berkshire come here to accomplish? Was he trying to court Nanc
y? It was obvious that he was interested—too interested. Nancy had mentioned he was rather possessive of her since he and Albert had been dear friends. Perhaps he thought Nancy was part of an inheritance Albert owed him. If so, Seth intended to set him straight.

  But then reason took over, and Seth forced himself to calm. Berkshire and Albert had been close business associates, and Seth couldn’t allow his personal desires to ruin any potential leads he might find for his investigation.

  Nancy used the very public moment of dining with her brother, Gerome, and Seth to apologize to Bedelia. Since asking God to help her live for Him, Nancy had known there were fences to mend. She had thought about it for a long time and felt convicted that for this particular woman, a more formal apology was needed. Bedelia liked to be the center of attention—especially when it proved her to be right about something.

  “I hope you will excuse me for interrupting the conversation.” Nancy looked around the table until she held everyone’s attention. “Some time ago, I was rather rude to Miss Clifton. My heart was less than kind, and I regret having been so harsh with her.”

  Nancy paused and gave Bedelia a smile. “Miss Clifton, you made me pause to consider my heart and the difficulties I was struggling with in my spirit. I want to take this moment in the company of witnesses to apologize. You were right to insist on my convictions and my modesty, and for that I thank you and hope you will forgive me for my harsh tongue.”

  Bedelia’s eyes were wide with surprise. She looked almost disbelieving. “I, well, of course I forgive you.”

  Nancy beamed a smile. “Thank you. You are very gracious. Now, I hope everyone will eat up and enjoy the meal. There’s pie for dessert, so save room.”

  She focused on buttering her biscuit but knew that Bedelia was touched by what she’d done. Nancy felt good for humbling herself, even though it wasn’t easy. She had to constantly fight against her nature to yield her heart to God. Mary had said it was often that way for strong-willed people. But she had also promised to pray for Nancy, and that had given Nancy strength to pursue what needed to be done.

  Seeing Gabe reminded her that she had to resolve matters with her parents as well. Years of rebellion and anger had kept her from even considering the wounds she had caused them. And, of course, there was still so much she had to sort through regarding God. She had prayed for forgiveness and that He might show her how to bear up under the painful memories and loss. She had prayed, too, for God’s help in truly yielding her heart and mind to His will rather than her own. However, she had been strong-willed and rebellious most of her life, and it didn’t come naturally to stop being that way now. It was no doubt going to take God’s intercession before Nancy could be even a smidge of the woman He wanted her to be.

  She sighed. Nothing had ever come easy for her.

  Chapter 12

  Gerome paced his small office while two gentlemen he’d long worked with sat discussing the situation at hand.

  “The guns have to be somewhere. Albert obviously hid them well from prying eyes. Unfortunately, he is dead now, and no one seems to have a clue where the weapons and whiskey are,” the elder of the two men declared.

  The young man nodded. “It’s been nearly four months, and my people are getting anxious. They had hoped for an uprising before now. New immigrants seeking land grants will be here before we know it, and unless we can free up more land from the reservations, they’ll have poor options to choose from.”

  “There’s no guarantee we could get the government to act fast enough anyway,” Gerome remarked. “We knew that early on.”

  “Yes, but at least with something to promise, we could secure a nice commission for ourselves to act on their behalf,” the old man replied.

  “Exactly.” The younger man nodded. “And if there were conflict going on and the government was already inclined to take an active role, it would be easier to convince the new arrivals of our ability to benefit them.”

  “I’m doing all I can. It’s evident Mrs. Pritchard knows nothing about her dead husband’s affairs. I’ve discussed the matter with her at length, and she’s completely unaware.”

  “But you assured us it wouldn’t be difficult to manage this matter,” the younger of the two men said, steepling his fingers. “I am finding that to be far from the truth. There are guns and alcohol out there that we anticipated using for our plan, and no one knows where to find them. Including you, Gerome. You’ve been searching since March, and still nothing.”

  Gerome gritted his teeth to keep from spewing expletives. After a moment, he took a deep breath and sat behind the desk. “I am well aware of our need, gentlemen. I am convinced that among Albert Pritchard’s things are maps to the various caches. He once told me that he had a half-dozen or more places to hide stores of goods. He was good at what he did and had good friends among the riverboat captains. It’s just a matter of learning the locations, and I believe that with a little more time, I will be able to secure that information from Mrs. Pritchard.”

  The old man shook his head. “You said she knew nothing.”

  Gerome met the man’s rheumy eyes. “That doesn’t mean she doesn’t have access to the knowledge. She simply doesn’t know what she’s looking for and probably has put very little effort into looking for it because it doesn’t pertain to her immediate needs. I believe it might benefit our cause to have someone search the house in her absence.”

  “You mean break in?” The older man was aghast. “Not only are the legalities daunting, but I understand she boards guests now. How would you ever manage it?”

  “They all go to church on Sundays,” Gerome said, smiling. “It shouldn’t be hard to send someone to look around during that time. The neighborhood will be all but deserted. No one will be the wiser. I know a man who can slip in and out and never leave a sign of having been there.”

  The old man nodded and got to his feet. The younger man jumped up to offer assistance. “I suppose it is what we must do, but I want to know nothing about it. Report back to us as soon as you have news.”

  Stupid man. Gerome hated his dismissive nature and the attitude that Gerome would take all the risks and receive few of the benefits. There were times when Gerome would just as soon put a bullet between the old man’s eyes than have to deal with one more day of his smug superiority.

  Gerome sat at the desk for a long time after his cohorts had gone. He knew the warmth of the summer day made his office seem even smaller, but he was tired of having so little. Nancy was a wealthy woman—she just didn’t know it yet. There was more than enough money tied up in the store and house, as well as all the guns. If he could just convince her to marry him, all of that would belong to Gerome. He would have the money he needed to promote his own causes and finance the political ambitions he had for the future. Fortunately, in the meantime, he had managed to slip those IOUs into Albert’s paperwork. Hopefully no one would question the lack of names and signatures when he produced his own copy.

  He sighed and looked at the calendar on his desk. It was nearly the Fourth of July. There would be a huge celebration for the country’s independence. Perhaps he could convince Nancy to accompany him to the city picnic, where he was slated to speak. If he could put her on his arm and let others see them together, it might allow him to merit credit with the right financiers. That might lend further support to his causes.

  Of course, there was Seth Carpenter to contend with. Carpenter had made it clear that he was interested in Nancy, and he had the benefit of having grown up with her. His family and hers were friends. Trust already existed between them, and the camaraderie of youth was certain to strike down the walls that Gerome would have to pull down brick by brick. It wasn’t fair. He’d admired Nancy even while she was married to Albert, and he intended to have her for his wife.

  He rubbed his thumbnail against his thick mustache. He was a handsome man. Many said so. He cut quite a figure in his carefully tailored clothes. People around him presumed he had money and backing, but t
hose things apparently had never mattered to Nancy. She had never sought the life of a socialite. She was young and beautiful but completely ignorant of the power she could exert through those qualities. A part of him liked her all the more for her innocence, but a greater part knew that with the proper teacher—himself—Nancy Pritchard could become a force to be reckoned with. A force that he could use to aid his own cause.

  Nancy found the evening to be the most pleasant she’d ever had with her tenants. Mrs. Weaver had come down from her seclusion to spend an hour in the sitting room with the other boarders, and after a while she even began sharing stories of her life as if they were all old friends.

  “Of course, before the war, things were very different,” Mrs. Weaver said between sips of tea. “There was a gentility among people that is lost now.”

  “But what about slavery, Mrs. Weaver?” Bedelia asked. “Did your people keep slaves?”

  The older woman looked surprised. “Of course we did. All of our friends did. We ran very large plantations of thousands of acres. Someone had to work the land. It took hundreds of slaves. But we were good to our people.”

  “How can you consider it good to own another person?” Bedelia looked down her nose at Mrs. Weaver.

  “The times were different,” the old woman said, her voice barely audible. She set down her teacup. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have come.” She looked as if she were about to leave.

  “Nonsense,” Nancy declared before Bedelia could further insult the poor woman. “As you said, times were different, as was the culture. Did you know that the Indians also kept slaves? My father was out here many years before the wagon trains came. He was a trapper and loved the solitude of the land. He was also very good friends with some of the native peoples. Slavery is hardly isolated to white men. I believe we must all own our mistakes and wrongdoings, however. I am opposed to slavery, but I would not belittle Mrs. Weaver for choices her family made and institutions that she partook of because of her society.”