Doctor Lucky Charms: A Holiday Romance (Kilts and Kisses)

by K. C. Crowne

  “I’ll be right back to assist,” Patty said as she stepped out, the look on her face and the tone of her voice suggesting that she hadn’t picked up on anything being out of the ordinary.

  The door shut, and we were alone.

  Joann said nothing, her eyes wide at the sight of me.

  I could already tell that this was going to be a rather awkward appointment.

  “Well,” I said, shutting the door behind me. “This is the part where I’d introduce myself to the new patient. But I believe we’ve already covered that.”

  “I believe we have, Dr. O’Neill.” The initial shock seemed to be beginning to wear off, her gaze narrowing and the tension melting out of her body. “Granted, it almost involved you running me over with that fancy car of yours, but it we’ve met all the same.”

  “Oh, you mean when you were wandering across the road half-cocked on whiskey at nine in the morning without a care in the world? I swear, Mickey needs to start learning when to say when with his customers.”

  “Hey!” she said, raising a finger. “I already told you that I wasn’t drunk. I hadn’t had so much as an Irish coffee when you almost killed me.”

  “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” I said. “That’s even worse – at least knackered you would’ve had an excuse.”

  I raised a palm, realizing we were already falling into the same back-and-forth that we’d done when we’d first met.

  “But let’s not get into all that again. No one got run over, and now you and I are meeting in a more professional context.”

  “That’s right.”

  “I have to say, however – this is a hell of a coincidence.”

  “Is it?” she asked. “I mean, you and your brothers more or less have a monopoly on women’s private parts in the area.”

  I couldn’t help it – I snorted out a laugh at her words, shaking my head.

  She blushed a bit. “I mean women’s health.”

  “That’s right,” I replied. “We deal with a little more around here than just private parts. Like…” I took the notepad from under my arm and flipped through it, “…like, birth control. You in the looks for a fun vacation then?”

  Now it was my turn to widen my eyes in shock at my own words. I’d never make a joke like that to a patient, normally, but there was something different about Joann, something that made me want to bust her chops a bit.

  Just like I had at her accidental joke, Joann snorted.

  “It’s not like that. I didn’t come to Ireland to, ah, sample the local fare, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

  I held up my palms. “None of my business if you were. But you did come for birth control, so I’m more than happy to get you squared away.”

  “Good!” she said. “And I figured that it’d been long enough since I got a, ahem, checkup.”

  “Happy to take care of that, too.” I felt a touch strange about giving Joann a once-over. After all, this was the same woman that I’d been fantasizing about in my office yesterday. That wasn’t exactly a solid beginning to a professional relationship.

  But it wasn’t like I’d be handing her off to one of my brothers. Joann, distractingly gorgeous as she might’ve been, was sitting in my office and I was going to be professional about it.

  “Anyway,” I said, slipping a pen out of my scrubs front pocket and preparing to write. “Gotta ask you the usual barrage of questions.”

  “Shoot,” she said.

  “Periods on time, regular, nothing out of the ordinary?”

  She shook her head. “The usual business down there. But I’m a few days without birth control, so who knows what I’m in store for.”

  I jotted that down. “And you’d like to stick with Ortho Tri-Cyclen?”

  “It’s done the job so far.” She blushed again at her words, her eyes once more going wide. “I mean, not that I’m having so much sex that I need to be on the most reliable birth control there is, ah…” She shook her head, catching herself. “Sorry, not sure why I’m so frazzled. Might be because I’m not seeing my usual doctor.”

  “No worries,” I said.

  She closed her eyes and took deep breath, then started again.

  “Yes, I’d like to stick with my normal one.”

  “Have you ever considered an IUD? They’re quite safe, and you wouldn’t have to worry about such things like-”

  She smiled. “Like going overseas, forgetting my pills, and having to get a strange Irishman to poke around my nether regions?” She blushed again. “Sorry – I joke when I get nervous.”

  “No reason to be nervous. My brothers and I might be the only OB/GYNs in the area, but we’re some of the best in the country. You’re in good hands.”

  Another smile. Hell, I was fine with her making all the ill-timed jokes she wanted if that meant she’d follow them up with that beautiful smile of hers.

  Joann nodded and went on. “I’ve heard about them and have some girlfriends who swear by them. But They seem a little too…invasive for me. I like the idea of being able to just go off them when I want. Not that I’m even thinking about getting pregnant or anything like that. But…you know what I mean.”

  “Totally understand. My philosophy with matters like those is to listen to the woman and go with what she wants – I don’t push any specific kind of birth control.

  “Good to hear,” she said.

  “So, your periods have been normal. Now, are you sexually active?”

  I was being as professional as I possibly could, but damned if holding the thoughts of Joann and sex in my head at the same time didn’t make my heart race just a bit.

  “I’ve been very busy with work,” she said. “For a couple of years – if you get my meaning.”

  I chuckled and marked it down. “Just to be clear, that means you haven’t been sexually active for at least a year.”

  “That exactly what that means.” She shook her head, as if her own words had thrown her for a loop. “God, that sounds so strange to say it out loud.”

  It was strange for me to hear as well. How the hell was it possible that a gorgeous woman like her hadn’t been with a man in that long? Surely, she must’ve been fighting off guys who wanted to get in her pants.

  I side-stepped the issue. “Anyway, why don’t we get started? Before I write you the script, I’ll be doing a checkup to make sure there’s nothing else we need to worry about. Go ahead and take your top down and I’ll do a breast exam.”

  She bit her lip for a second, then complied with a nod. Her hands went up to the shoulder straps of her paper gown and she took it down, exposing her slender shoulders, then the top of her chest, and finally her breasts.

  They were about the most perfect pair I’d ever seen in my life. Handful-sized and teardrop-shaped, her nipples small and round and pink. I was a doctor, and I took pride in my professionalism, but in that moment, there wasn’t a way on earth I’d be able to ignore the incredible beauty on display before me.

  I’d had some good-looking women come into my examination room before, but always I was able to turn that part of my brain off, to not regard them as sexual beings, but instead as patients – and that was all. While my professionalism was still there with Joann, there was no ignoring how turned-on she was making me.

  I pushed that all out of my head as quick as I could, focusing on the task at hand. After stepping over to Joann, I took her right breast in my hand and began the procedure. Thank God I was so adept at turning off the sexual part of my mind during my job – it was the only way I wouldn’t lose my damn mind.

  The desire only lasted for a moment. I checked her right breast, then the left.

  “Good?” she asked.

  “Perfect,” I said. My eyes flashed at me choice of words. “That is to say, you’re fine. You can pull your gown back up.”

  Joann complied, and with a rustle of paper she was clothed once more.

  “Now comes the fun part, right?” she asked with a slight smile. “The icy duckbill – that’s wh
at I’ve always called it.”

  I chuckled. “The icy duckbill – that’s right.”

  Tension formed in my gut at the idea of giving her an examination down below. It was a process I’d done hundreds and hundreds of times over the years, but damn was it hard to fully slip into doctor mode and ignore how stunning she was.

  A knock sounded at the door.

  “Are we decent?” It was Patty, and relief washed over me at the idea of not being alone in there with Joann.

  “We’re decent,” I said.

  A thought occurred to me. It was a completely mad thought, but once it was in my mind, I couldn’t shake it.

  “One moment, Joann,” I said, raising my index finger as I hurried toward the door. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Sure.” Joann seemed confused but understanding.

  I opened the door and Patty was on the other side.

  “We ready to-”

  “A moment,” I said, placing my hand on her shoulder and leading her out of the room. “Just want to run something by you.” Patty seemed as confused as Joann had only a moment ago.

  “What’s the story?” she asked.

  “Mind doing the rest of the exam while I supervise?” I asked.

  “You pulling my leg?”

  “Nah. Just not feeling altogether with it this morning. And she’s a new patient, so I want to make sure we have a good first impression on her. Besides, doesn’t hurt to check and make sure your skills aren’t getting rusty.” I followed this up with a wink. Now that I wasn’t alone with Joann, nothing but a thin sheet of paper the only thing standing between me and her nakedness, I felt a hell of a lot better.

  “Are you daft?” she asked with a laugh. “As if I’d ever be rusty. I’ve delivered more babes than you. Step aside, Doc – let me show you how it’s done.” She pushed me out of the way with a friendly shove, then opened the door and stepped into the office.

  Chapter 12

  RONAN

  “Alright now!” Patty said as she snapped off the gloves and stepped back from Joann, whose legs were in the stirrups. “Let me help you down.”

  I watched as Patty took one leg off the stirrups and then the other, Joann closing her legs once they were down. My heart was still racing, even though I hadn’t done anything during the exam other than supervise.

  “How’re things looking?” Joann asked with a good-natured smile as she sat up and folded the paper dress on her legs.

  “Everything looks good and healthy from my point of view. Of course, we’ll send the sample to our lab and confirm, but I don’t see anything to be concerned about.” I was beyond glad that Patty had shown up to help out. Her joking, her way of always being able to break the tension with new patients, was priceless.

  “Great,” Joann said. “Lady issues are the last thing I’d want to be dealing with right now.”

  I swallowed hard, the tension still gripping me. I had to take a quick break, to get out of there and get my head straight.

  “Patty,” I said. “I’m going to slip over to my office for a moment. Mind finishing up with Joann here? I’ll come back in a few and write her script and see her off.”

  “Of course, of course,” Patty answered. “Get that cute little bum out of here – I’ll be handling things just fine.”

  I playfully wagged my finger at her before opening the door and ducking out of the room. I hurried down the hall to my office and the moment I was inside with the door shut, I let out a long sigh of relief.

  I had to do something about the tension. Normally, I’d go for a run or hit the gym whenever I felt the way I did, but that wasn’t an option in the middle of my day. Instead, I slipped out of my white coat and tossed it over the back of one of the visitor’s chairs. Then I went behind my desk, pushed the chair out of the way, and leaned forward, resting my hands on the edge of the desk and doing a few quick push-ups.

  It wasn’t the ideal way to burn off the tension, but it was better than nothing. By the time I’d done a couple dozen of them I felt a bit better – good enough to go back and finish the appointment. After a quick sip of water to sort out my dry, sticky mouth, I put my coat back and returned to the examination room.

  I gave the door a knock and Patty called me in. Joann was dressed and ready to go. While she was still a perfect ten in her normal clothes, the mere fact of her not wearing that literally paper-thin gown was enough to allow me to get my bearings.

  “Just finishing up with Miss Joann here,” Patty said with a grin.

  “Thanks, Patty.”

  “You’re more than welcome, Doc. I’ll see myself out.” She left the room, and as she did Patty gave me a sly wink while her back was facing Joann. It was a wink that no doubt referred to the conversation that she and I had before the appointment.

  “Alright,” I said, the door shutting behind me. “Like Patty said, we’ll have the results of the pap smear in a few days. And we’ll let you know as soon as they’re in.”

  “Perfect,” she said.

  I slipped the script pad out of my front pocket along with a pen and started writing.

  The room was silent aside from the scribbling of my pen on the paper. Despite the appointment going well, there was still the matter of our relationship outside of the office. That is, she was still our neighbor, and the matter of the little spat we’d had the first day we’d met.

  I needed to do something to address it.

  “So,” I said. “How long are you staying in Sandy Cove?”

  She shrugged as I handed her the script. “That’s up in the air. I came to meet with the person who wants to buy the house. God only knows how long that’ll take.”

  The sensible part of me knew this was the perfect time to tell her I was the buyer. She needed to know. But I kept it to myself. Things were only just then smoothing out between us. I could only guess how she’d react to learn that I was the one who wanted to scoop up her grandmother’s house.

  “Anyway, to answer your question, I’m thinking around six weeks to start off. Then I’ll take it from there, you know?”

  Conflicted emotions ran through me at the news. The part of me that wanted to buy the house was frustrated, understanding that the mere fact of her being here meant she wasn’t going to simply sell and be done with it. The other part of me, the part that was madly attracted to her, was thrilled to know she’d be here for that long.

  “That’s plenty of time to get to know the place,” I said with a slight smile. “And even to get the know the people here, if you’re so inclined.”

  “That’s right,” she said, a grin spreading across her face that made her stunning features light up. “I can get to know all the colorful characters around here, like the bartender with the same name as a famous actor, or the gyno who’s a whiz at breast exams and has a prepensely to run people over with his car.”

  I narrowed my eyes playfully. “You’re never going to let me live that one down, are you?”

  “Hey, Doc,” she said. “You should be lucky that I’m still alive to give you shit for it!” Joann laughed once more that beautiful laugh that I couldn’t get enough of. “But seriously, I’m just joking around.” She glanced away and then sighed, as if getting ready to say something difficult. “I mean, after all, I was as responsible for nearly getting splatted as you were.”

  “And I was kind of a dick when I came over to talk.”

  “That’s right – you were kind of a dick. But then again, I was kind of a bitch. I’m not normally like that, by the way. I’d just gotten into town, and I was all discombobulated and on top of it all, some prick had come onto me at the airport and made me feel majorly threatened so I was all kinds of on-edge.”

  Blood rushed through me, the thought of some asshole giving her trouble making me furious for a split-second. I composed myself and let the anger pass.

  “So, neither of us were showing our best sides,” I said.

  “Doesn’t sound like it,” she replied. “Guess it was for the best tha
t you ended up being the only lady doctor in the area. Well, you and your brothers. At least that gave us the chance to get to know each other a little better.”

  “You’re right, we have,” I said, crossing my arms and leaning against the door. “In fact, it’s making me want to get to know you even better.”

  Joann cocked her head to the side in curiosity. “That right?”

  “That’s right. How about we do dinner? Tonight, if you’re not busy.”

  Her eyes went wide, and her mouth opened a bit. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that she hadn’t expected me to ask that particular question.

  Part of me regretted it from the moment the words left my mouth. I’d broken one of my own professional rules, to never ask out a patient. But there was something about Joann, something that made me want to say “screw it” to my own self-imposed rules and throw caution to the wind. Besides, she was only in town for a short while. It wasn’t like she’d be my patient again after this.

  “You’re…asking me out?”

  “Sure. We’re neighbors, after all. Might as well get to know each other if you’re going to be here for that long. And it’ll be fun to have a chat without you having to worry about a cold piece of metal coming near your delicate parts.”

  She chuckled. “I mean…it could be fun. Then again, isn’t this some kind of major breech of doctors’ code? I don’t know exactly how they do things in Ireland, but…”

  “It’s actually the law,” I said. “If you’re a doctor and your patient’s a beautiful woman and you don’t ask her out, you get put in the pillory. Crazy, but it’s out of my hands.”

  I smiled and she laughed. Her laugh was causing the heat to rise in my face. Joann hopped off the examination table and picked up her purse, placing the script note inside before slipping the bag onto her arm.

  “Wow, they’re not kidding when they say the Irish are flirts.” She pursed her lips and looked away, as if considering the matter. “Like I said, it could be fun. But you have to admit it might be weird going out on a date with a guy who’s already seen my hoohaa.”