Chapter 25
The furniture was already in the apartment when I got back with Sarah. I set the bags I brought in on the table and started putting the groceries away where I wanted them, and noticed the dishwasher was running. I started looking through the cupboards and noticed no dishes so assumed the boys had unpacked them and were running them through the dishwasher.
I finished the bags I brought in and headed for the door to see what was taking everyone else so long and noticed Sarah arguing with Mac and Jeff about a couple of the bags in the trunk, so headed down.
“Sarah if we don't get those out of the car they'll spoil before we get them back to your house, and most of that meat is mine anyway,” I said.
“But you said the hamburger was for me, and if I don't get home soon Gordon is going to have a fit,” Sarah said.
“You let me worry about Gordon, as for the hamburger most of it is yours, but it all still needs to come in where we can sort it out and put it in the refrigerator at least until after lunch then if you really want to go I'll be more than happy to take you home,” I said.
“Excuse me sir, if this Gordon is such a bad ass maybe I should give your sister a ride home,” Mac said.
“You afraid I can't handle a weasel like Gordon. He's been scared of me since I met him. He was always afraid Sarah might be willing to listen to me about just what a creep he really is. I guess he shouldn't have worried so much since she married the creep,” I said.
“Sam please we all know how little you think of him, but he is a good father and husband most of the time,” Sarah said.
“That's just it Sarah, most of the time isn't good enough. Brent is good to Kathy and her kids all the time. Dad never mistreated any of us kids, or mom, ever as long as I can remember. All it takes is one time and no amount of good he does will ever be able to make up for it,” I said.
I didn't mean what I said to sound cruel, but knew it did. Sarah had made her choice, a choice she had to live with, but she would never stop being my sister and I would do anything I possibly could to protect her, even from her own choices, if she would let me.
Mom and dad showed up just as the steaks were going on the grill that was built into the stove top. Jeff said something about wanting to cook them and started asking everyone how they wanted theirs cooked, and made a disgusted face when Mac told him he wanted his to just be shown the fire long enough to get it warm all the way through. I had gotten use to how each of the men from my unit tended to eat their meat closer to raw then cooked and even started eating my meat that way. When Jeff got to me and I told him I wanted mine cooked the same way Mac did he snorted and asked if I was a vampire too.
I noticed Kathy look up as though wanting to know as well, mom, dad and Sarah just laughed.
“I don't believe in vampires anymore now than I did when I quit believing in god. Unless you can prove to me they really exist I'll ask you not to ask such a silly question again. I learned to eat my meat cooked that way because most of my men ate theirs that way, and there were many times we even ate raw meat because building a fire would have been foolish and we were out of C-rations,” I said.
“I'm sorry Sam, I didn't mean that as an insult, it's just that it's so bloody cooked that little. You know vampires, blood, it was just a joke,” Jeff said.
I looked down realizing I had taken offense at something that for some reason tugged at a memory that I just couldn't quite remember.
“I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped like that, it's just that after my last two missions I woke up three days after the fact and the doctors all said it was like I had lost a lot of blood. Vampire jokes seemed to echo through the base with me being the brunt of them,” I said.
Mac seemed to enjoy meeting my entire family even though it was so crowded in my apartment with everyone there. Mom and dad offered to take Sarah back home to avoid a conflict between Gordon and I. With Sarah and them in the car they wouldn't have room for the two car seats for the kids, and I said I would bring the kids home to try giving them the extra room since the seats had already been moved back into my car from Kathy's.
Mac gave me a look saying he wasn't about to let me walk into a situation without him and I just nodded letting him know he could ride along.
“Sam it might not be a bad idea if you change before we go. I know dad would love it and it might just throw Gordon off balance enough to prevent any problems,” Kathy said.
“Kathy you might be able to accept that I wish I had been born a girl, but I still have a few more months left before I can resign my commission without repercussions that I'd rather avoid,” I said so only she could hear.
“I don't understand you sometimes Sam. The last time you were here you refused to dress as anything other than a woman, and now it's like pulling teeth to get you to even consider dressing as who you would rather be,” Kathy said.
“I don't remember that. Kathy I'm not calling you a liar all those clothes I have at your house tell me that would be stupid and wrong, but I just don't remember buying any of them or wearing them for that matter,” I said.
“And the ones you took, that I'm guessing you have here?” she asked.
“I love how they look, but other than that dress I wore to dinner the other night I don't remember wearing or buying them either,” I said.
“Will you wear one of them please, I could always get Mac to ask,” she said.
I thought about the ones I had brought over to the apartment. I had one of my female dress uniforms, but had taken the rank and ribbons off of it, so that one was out of the question. There was the floral dress, but the hemline was probably shorter than I wanted to let Gordon see me wearing, besides I didn't need moms shit about how short it was. The pink dress was a bit formal and that left the blue or yellow dresses.
The blue dress would look great with a pair of knee high boots if I left my hair down, while the yellow was more sandals with my hair up loosely. What did I have for panties though? I opened the dresser drawer and realized I hadn't yet put anything in the dresser. The box in the closet should have my underwear both mens and womens.
I found a blue satin thong and set it on the bed and took the blue dress out setting it next to the panties. I loved being a blonde but my natural color was more of an auburn and the auburn wig was a longer length than the blonde so I set the auburn on the dresser.
I started getting undressed and changed my mind taking out the dress uniform and regulation shoes. I had a shorter wig that was well within regulation for a female officer but ignored it. I slipped on the panties and slid my arms in the blouse buttoning it. I reached for the skirt and found it difficult to pull over my hips. I knew it was close to that time of the month but surely I hadn't gained this much weight.
I undid the blouse and again picked up the blue dress sliding it over my head and feeling the soft material slid over my breasts. I picked up the boots and slid my feet into them feeling the comfort of the soft leather embracing my feet.
What would Chris think if he saw me in this dress? Would he be able to contain himself?
I took out the makeup I had at the apartment and opted for a lipstick that would put a gloss on my lips without adding much color. My hair fell into place the long waves of auburn curls that I had always liked so much about my hair. The bangs swept to the sides covering my forehead and falling to cover my right eye without actually blocking my vision.
I walked out of the bedroom and Sarah gasped seeing me as my true self for the first time. Jeff looked away as did mom while Mac came over to find out what the plan was.
I handed Mac the keys to my car and told him to just follow mom and dad since Sarah would be riding with them while Jeff would be riding with Kathy and we would have Sarah's children.
“Sam, I...” Sarah started and paused trying to find the right words to say what she was thinking. “...I... you... I didn't want to believe what Kathy tried to tell me, what you tried to tell us before you left. Sam I'm so sorry I laughed at you.”
We arrived at Sarah's and Gordon came out as soon as dad pulled in the driveway. The look on his face was pure rage and I knew whatever his temper he wouldn't want to mess with Mac. I asked Mac to wait to find out if he was going to realize who I am or think I was just one of Kathy's friends. As soon as I stepped out of the car I saw Gordon's gaze turn my direction and wondered just how long it would take before he forgot about his anger that Sarah had been gone long enough he either didn't have lunch or had fixed his own lunch. I didn't have to wait long, almost as soon as I stood his face softened and he turned in my direction, I'm sure in hopes of offering his assistance.
When I knew any hope of him being the good husband was gone in favor of him hoping to get better acquainted with me I leaned back in the car to get the kids and asked Mac to please join the rest of us.
Gordon was about half way to my car when Mac unfolded himself from behind the steering wheel and stood closing the drivers door and starting around the car to give me whatever help I required in helping the children out of the car. Gordon hadn't stopped his approach on seeing Mac, but the expression on his face changed drastically. The lust in his eyes was still there, but his stride indicated he didn't dare attempt acting on that lust as he had intended before Mac got out of the car.
Sarah came over and I handed Kurt to her and reached back in the car for Erica. Mac came around the car and kept an eye on Gordon wondering if he dared act on the impulse he had shown when I first got out of the car.
“I'm sorry Sarah, who are these people you've trusted with our children?” Gordon asked.
“We've met before Gordon, I'm sure you just don't remember,” I said giving Gordon a look that stopped him in his tracks.
“I'm sure I'd remember someone as beautiful as you, you look like a rose just opening up,” Gordon said.
“If I were you sir, I'd be very careful around Captain Waters she has thorns like a rose as well, and she does know how to use her thorns,” Mac said.
“Sir. Well at least it seems someone around here has some manners,” Gordon said.
“Gordon I have no doubt Sargent Denvers meant that in the loosest sense of the term. What he said however is true I do have thorns and I do know how to use them. Sargent Denvers should know better than most just how sharp my thorns are too,” I said.
“I take it you've stabbed him with them a time or two,” Gordon said.
“No! She's never stabbed me with them, but then I've never given her reason to other than when we first met, and it didn't take getting stabbed by her thorns for me to learn to be very careful of the thorns on the White Rose,” Mac said.
Sarah looked over at Kathy with a questioning stare as though begging for understanding.
“Sam is the White Rose Sarah, it's the only way she could do the things she does. Right now she really is female and our sister, but until she becomes a vampire the world at large can't know who she is. Only when her magic is complete will she be strong enough to do what the prophecy talks about. You know I'm the strongest witch in the coven. Sam is even stronger as a witch, even now, she is strong enough to make every witch in the coven seem as nothing by comparison,” Kathy said.
“Our little sister? Is that why mom is so afraid of her?” Sarah asked.
“Mom can't begin to understand Sam, none of us can really, but mom isn't a witch, not that she couldn't be, but because she has let that religion tell her anything she can't explain is of god, and witchcraft can't be explained without destroying religion,” Kathy said.
“That's why you hide your witchcraft and have told me to be extremely careful about letting anyone know about mine?” Sarah asked.
“Sarah you can't hide what you are from Sam, but when Sam is the White Rose openly, you'll never have to hide it from anyone,” Kathy said.
“Who are you Captain Waters?” Gordon asked.
“No one special Mr Allen, no one special at all. I guess you could say I am a voice you should listen to however. Sarah is my sister and will always be my sister. At the present she may be your wife, but I assure you she is more than your equal in every aspect, and of special interest to The White Rose, and The White Lotus. Only a fool would risk the anger of she who was named long ago for the work she will do. Only a fool would question the strength and power of the queen of magic,” I said.
I saw Kathy look over at Mac as though wanting an explanation of what I just said. What was this White Lotus? She had never heard of The White Lotus before, nothing in any of the stories she had been told mentioned a White Lotus.
Mac at the same time looked askance at Kathy hoping maybe she knew something about what I said.
I smiled even bigger as I realized none of them knew who I really am, or would show myself to be when the time of fulfillment arrived. They knew me as the queen of their coven and clan, but if what I said was true I was much more than the prophecies they knew of told about.
“She will be accepted as a vampire bitten by the clan of the White Lotus, though he who made her will be know as a Rose. She will accept the Rose first and the Lotus last, but none will be able to stand against her and many will learn fear because of her. She will be the queen of magic since she will control both the elements and the life blood, but she will guard those she loves as a mother does her child,” I said.
They both looked at me like I had lost my mind. That was something neither of them had ever heard before.
“You would question the flower of innocence?” I asked.
“Never mistress,” Mac said offering me the title that was mine alone.
“Sam I don't mean to offend, but I've never heard of The White Lotus before,” Kathy said.
“You've heard, you just aren't aware. What is the equivalent of the White Rose? It is the White Lotus. Both are innocence and purity. Both have strength none can see. Both are loves truth. They are equal in every way, just of different cultures. I am The White Rose, I am The White Lotus, I am the joining of two cultures. I am the queen of magic, and none who seek magics destruction will stand before me on the day of my awakening. On the day when the Lotus and the Rose become one,” I said.
“Of course our equivalent from another culture. Each culture must have similar stories to ours. And you would of course be the fulfillment of those stories just as you are our stories.” Kathy finally understood who her little sister was.
“And a knight shall stand by she who is queen and many shall fear her knight without reason for only by her order will he kill her enemies, yet his hands will ever be at her command, his heart will be hers only, from the first meeting to the end of days,” Mac said.
“Mac?” Kathy asked.
“Something my grandmother use to tell me, it never made sense until now. I think I understand now what it means and who that knight is. I want to be wrong, but I have a feeling...” Mac said.
“Mac you'll find a woman who will love you even as you serve me. I know your heart is mine in every way but one, and that way is reserved for another, a witch who will give her heart to me as fully as you have,” I said.
“Mistress there is nothing I wouldn't do for you,” Mac said.
“I know that Mac, I know that,” I said.
“So you're Sam?” Gordon asked.
I turned my attention back to Gordon.
“Sarah is my sister Gordon. She was my sister before she was your wife, and she will be my sister after you are no longer even a memory. Be very careful or you will learn the wrath of the Rose,” I said.
“You and your gorilla there don't scare me Sam. You're nothing but a freak, with very freaky friends,” Gordon said.
I saw Mac show his fangs, something I don't think I had ever witnessed before. Gordon turned a very pale shade of white and turned running for the house fear driving his every step.
“Sarah if you ever need me for any reason call me, otherwise the next time we will see each other will be when the time for the White Rose is at hand. You'll always be my sister, and as long as you stay true to yourself I
will always be your strength when you feel weakest,” I said.
Mac, Jeff, Kathy and I went over to Kathy's to talk. There were things I needed to know only Kathy could tell me. Things like how to make everyone even those without magic forget who I am until the time for me to be The White Rose was necessary.
“Sam I'm not sure what you're asking me,” Kathy said.
“You know exactly what it is I'm asking you. It is because Chris bit me that I was able to hide myself the last two times. But only he has the magic necessary to do it that way, and I seriously doubt he'd be willing to assist me in this again, this soon after the last time,” I said.
“I can understand hiding it from everyone else until the time is right, but you're talking about hiding it even from yourself. I'm not sure that's possible,” she said.
“Do you have any idea how hard it is for me knowing Chris is the other half of who I am, and also knowing he is married to someone else? Can you even begin to imagine what that's like for me? If I don't know who I am as The White Rose I don't know Chris is my other half,” I said.
“I still can't believe you have to become a vampire to become The White Rose fully,” she said.
“I have to have both blood magic and elemental magic, right now all I have is elemental magic,” I said.
“But every witch that has ever been bitten has lost the elemental magic in favor of the blood magic of the vampire. Sam it's because of you the feuding between witches and vampires has stopped in the White Rose coven and clan. You've somehow made us immune to each others magics,” Kathy said.
“I wish it were that way in The White Lotus, but it will get worse long before it gets better there. I can't stop it since I'm no longer there. Another reason it is better I forget who I am for now,” I said.
“Your magic is killing you as long as you know who you are and are not complete?” she asked.
“You could say that yes,” I said.
“I'll need to call together at least a thirteen member coven, but I doubt even then we'll have near enough magic to do what you're asking,” she said.
“You call your coven together and I'll work on filling in the holes where needed,” I said.
Because of the way I said it she knew I was going to be working separately from her and her coven. I doubt she had a clue what it was I intended, I wasn't even sure I knew what I intended, only that who I was as The White Rose be hidden from everyone especially myself.
When all the witches Kathy called to fill her thirteen member coven arrived and were ready I walked in and sat where I could see just what it was they were doing. The magic started filling the air and I noticed Kathy worked it into a pattern that seemed to be woven tightly together while she worked and the pattern started taking shape I started overlaying it with a pattern of my own magic that looked much the same only twice as tight and heavier than the pattern she was making, a pattern I hadn't seen before but knew what it's purpose was the moment it started taking shape. As she finished her pattern I laid my weave over the top and heard everyone of her coven witches gasp as the enormity of my weave became apparent to them.
As my weave settled over the top I felt the memories slipping into obscurity and noticed none of the witches present were any longer aware of what it was they had been called on to do. The magic dissipated and I looked at all the women sitting there wondering just what and who they all were. I had insured in my weave they would remember who and what they were, but added for myself a layer that would move all memory of who and what I am from not only their minds, but my mind as well.
“Ladies I'd like you to meet my sister that played at being a boy so she could fight on the front lines in the war,” Kathy said.
“You're funny Kathy, if the rest of the family heard you say that they would think you're just as crazy as they think I am,” I said.
The Hidden Rose Page 73