Chapter 23
It was the end of the summer, just before it was time to bring Jonathan to college. As planned, Gabby managed to come home for another quick visit just in time to drive with me before beginning her final year at McGill. She needed the break after working on her research all summer. She had not brought Sam home; he told her the trip to take her brother to college was not the right time for him to meet the family. When she told me that, even though I hadn’t met him yet, I could tell I was going to like him.
That evening, I had invited Marshall and Bob for a cookout and a last chance to talk about the house swap with Gabby and Jonathan. It was the first time I had been able to get the four of them together. Ginny and Andrea had promised to come over later that evening to join us for dessert. Lily had gone to visit her grandmother in Mississippi, so she was not part of the gathering.
Over the summer, I had observed Andrea and Jonathan’s relationship change. She had become much like his other ‘girl’ friends, Janey and Megan, and treated him like a brother, telling him about who she was thinking about dating and so on. He seemed to have a little closer relationship to Andrea than the others probably because they had spent so much time together before she had moved away. I knew he must have told her or she had simply accepted it after talking to her mother that night at my house, but I was happy things seemed to be fine between them. He saw her at least once a week. I hadn’t seen Ginny as often as I had expected. She was busy with her new job, and had joined a divorce support group to meet others. They had many kinds of activities, and she seemed more than happy with the changes in her life.
Bob and Marshall were looking forward to moving, and they were especially happy to talk about it with Jonathan and Gabby present. Both had seen the condo, and they were absolutely thrilled with it for me. They pointed out that it was much closer to my office, and out of the suburbs which was no place for a single woman. I had not really considered myself a single woman until recently, but I had begun to warm up to the idea of going out a little more when Jonathan was gone; I had even thought about possibility of going on a date or two. It was strange, but as I was moving forward, I found myself talking to Dick less and less frequently, and calling on my living friends instead when I needed to talk about a problem. Lily had talked me into a new hairstyle; it was shorter and had a little more style to it now. I had to admit that something about cutting my hair gave me a little more confidence. It made me feel a bit less “average.” I considered asking her to go shopping with me to see if she would help me jazz up my wardrobe (I really was thinking about dating, wasn’t I?), but whenever I thought about asking her, I recalled the fashion show she had put on for Jonathan. I was confident she would never do anything like that again, but the lingering memory stopped me from asking her to help me with my own wardrobe.
It was late afternoon, and Jonathan, Gabby and I were sitting on the patio, surrounded by a colorful array of petunias I had in planters and hanging baskets. Actually, Marshall and Bob had brought a most of them to my house over the summer, and I told them I suspected these flowers were really for themselves and not me, since we hoped to move a week after Jonathan left, and the petunias were staying with the house.
Marshall and Bob came around to the back, knowing we would be sitting out there, and I was surprised to see a third person with them. I could tell immediately it was Bob’s father – the resemblance was very strong. He looked about ten years older than me, and his hair was salt and pepper rather than highlighted like Bob’s, but he had the same beautiful smile. He was a little beefier than Bob, but not actually overweight.
Bob apologized immediately for bringing him without telling me in advance. “The doorbell rang this morning, and there was my dad!” he explained. I knew that was not a common practice; Bob had told me his mother had died over a year ago, and his dad had not come to visit him since. He had also told me his parents had never said much of anything when Bob told them he was gay; they had welcomed his friends in much the same manner as they welcomed his two sisters’ boyfriends, but they never actually discussed their thoughts or feelings with him, and were always a little distant when it came to his relationships. Bob supposed that was better than some of his friends’ experiences, whose parents had coldly rejected having a gay son or even worse, had denied it, but he would have liked to talk about it more openly, like he was able to with me. That had made me happy, to hear that he felt that way, but Jonathan and I still had a long way to go before we could talk about it as openly as I wished. Bob told me he had gone home to visit his father a few times since his mother’s death, over the holidays and again in the spring, but he said his dad had simply poured himself into his work as a lawyer, and never seemed to want to get away, so I assumed Bob was very surprised about his unexpected visit.
I really didn’t mind the extra guest, and with genuine sincerity, I said so.
“So you are Mara, who will be trading places with these two? From the outside, it looks like they are getting the better part of the trade!” He gave an approving look at the house, then the yard. Then he stuck out his hand to shake mine, smiled quite charmingly, and said, “Hi, I’m Jim, and I’m sorry to crash your little get-together like this.”
For some reason, I felt the need to tell him, “It’s not an even trade, you know.” His eyebrow actually went up, just like his son’s, but he said nothing. After saying that, I introduced Gabby and Jonathan, and began preparing the grill. Marshall immediately came over to help, and Bob told his father Jonathan would soon be off to the same university, it turned out, that both Bob and his father had attended. That began a lively discussion, which Gabby easily joined, and Marshall and I took care of grilling the fish he and Bob had brought, as well cooking my burgers and brats. I had learned that Marshall was every bit as good a cook as Bob, but Bob’s more assertive nature had earned him the position of head chef. While we were cooking, Marshall quietly apologized again for bringing Jim without advance notice. He said they were quite surprised when he appeared at the condo that morning, and by the time they remembered they were coming for dinner, it seemed the best thing to do was take him along. The last thing they wanted to do was make him feel he was in the way. He gave me a little hug of appreciation for taking it all in stride, just as they had assured Jim I would.
At my suggestion, we went inside to eat dinner rather than staying outside. I thought it would be a nice way for Bob to show his father the house, and I knew I would have no other opportunity to use the dining room again before the move. Gabby and Jonathan had set the table moments before we sat down, and I was tickled to see that they had even lit candles. Even though it was still daylight, it was a nice touch, and I was feeling pleased about this meal. As we sat down, Jim chose the seat opposite me – the other head of the table, and Bob and Marshall sat on one side, with Jonathan and Gabby across from them. Without asking, Marshall began the grace with us all holding hands. After, when we had let go, Jim looked around the room approvingly, and toasted our dinner, saying the words I was thinking, “May this dining room hold many more pleasant times like this meal, with these same fine people.” We all nodded, and I didn’t know if Bob and Marshall felt the same as I did, or even if Gabby and Jonathan did, but a very special feeling came over me as we settled down to enjoy the rest of the evening.
The evening was quite different from the first time Bob and Marshall had come to dinner, and before they left, Jim had managed to catch me alone in the kitchen as I was getting ready to bring in the dessert. We could hear Gabby, Marshall, and Bob giving Jonathan all sorts of last minute advice about college life. Every now and then, their voices became much quieter, and I was okay with that, knowing they were talking about things it’s better a mother doesn’t hear. Jim had followed me into the kitchen, so I began handing him things to bring back into the dining room, but he tactfully set them on the counter and said, “I think we should take our time in here. They want to talk to Jonathan without us, can’t you tell?”
“Yes, I had just realized they were probably telling him some things I don’t need to hear,” I answered. “Let me put the coffee on, and we’ll sit at the kitchen table while we wait for it.”
When we were settled at the table, Jim looked at me and became very serious.
“Mara,” Jim began, “I haven’t told Bob this yet, but I have been considering moving here.”
I was very surprised to hear that, but something inside me was piqued at the same time. “Really? I didn’t think you’d visited here very often…”
“I haven’t. Susie and I rarely visited – you know my wife died?” When I nodded, he continued, “It’s a long story….but now I’ve waited a year since she’s been gone, and I think I’m ready for a change.”
“Did you know I am a widow?” It was his turn to nod his head, yes, so I continued, “It’s taken me thirteen years to get ready to make this change. It’s very hard for me to imagine you’re ready after only a year!”
“Probably one of the differences between men and women,” he commented. I didn’t say anything to that; perhaps it was true. He went on, “When your husband died, I’m sure you were kept busy with your kids. You had to keep going, but it hasn’t been the same for me at all. Sure, I’ve been able to continue with my work, but I still have had way too much time all alone, to think over my life. Especially my relationship with Bob,” he hesitated briefly and added, “and with Marshall….I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent thinking about it…”
I looked at him, and hearing him talk like this, I wanted to know more. I wanted to hear what it was like for a father to accept having a gay son…it was another thing that was probably was much different for mothers. Although I thought I knew how Dick would react, I wanted to hear others talk about it. It felt very natural for me to offer to show Jim around our city to help him make this move.
“You must be one shrewd realtor, Mara,” he joked. “You didn’t take more than thirty seconds to make that offer!”
Feeling myself blush, I tried to explain, “Jim, I really wasn’t thinking about selling you anything! I really want to hear more about your relationship with Bob, and I’d be so happy to show you around. Really!”
“Well, in that case, let’s plan on tomorrow. Can I pick you up around one?” Just as he said that, I heard the doorbell ring and the front door open as Ginny and Andrea arrived, with Andrea opening the door without waiting for anyone. Marshall had really warmed up to Andrea, especially after their initial meeting and consultation over her dreadlocks, and they hugged like old friends. Jim and I brought the coffee and desserts out to the dining room, and I introduced him to Andrea and Ginny. We settled down to enjoy the dessert, but this time, Jim pulled one of the smaller chairs next to me at the end of the table, and pulled another one next to the other end, for Ginny and Andrea.
And that is how my relationship with Jim began. Part of me felt embarrassed that I had come on too strongly by offering to show him around, but part of me felt as excited as a teenager going on her first date as I looked forward to spending time with him alone the next day.
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