Mom, I'm Gay
Page 28
Chapter 28
My long weekend with Jim ended much too quickly, but it was the best time I could remember having in a long, long time. We accomplished so much in getting him ready to move, including organizing his newly enlarged music collection. The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to be with him. We were both getting used to the idea of having another important person in our life after a long drought. Our behavior together was like a roller coaster of emotions. We cried after making love, giggled like pubescent teens when we showered together, and sometimes, we would sit quietly together like a couple who had been together for many years. We fell into a natural pattern; for example, in the morning, he was up before me, making coffee, and I was always trying to put a homey touch into his life, which seemed to have become rather stark without a woman’s influence. I picked some roses and put them in a small vase on the table. He smiled when he saw that. Sometimes we were strangers falling in love, but other times it felt like I was home, just being with him.
Jim told me about the firms he had applied to and I knew it was just a matter of time before one of them hired him. When it was time for me to leave, I felt sad and wanted to have more time with him, but at the same time, I knew it would happen. As soon as I got back home, I started looking for a place for him to live. Like me, he no longer wanted a house. He playfully offered to move in with me, but we both knew it was too soon for that. Every time I emailed information on a condo for sale to him, he would call me up and take a virtual tour simultaneously with me. As his plans moved forward, my heart grew with anticipation.
The next time we would be able to get together was Thanksgiving. Jonathan had decided to come home for the holiday weekend; it was the first time he was coming home since he’d begun college. Marshall and Bob had invited the three of us, along with Ginny and Andrea, and Lily to have Thanksgiving with them. Lily had asked if she could bring a man with her, someone she had met at the church she was now attending. Marshall and Bob were happy to have another guest and told her that. Jonathan readily accepted the invitation when I asked him about it, which surprised me. He hadn’t spent a great deal of time with Bob and Marshall, and I thought going back to our old house might feel strange. I also thought he would never want to lay eyes on Lily Becker again, but he told me he had moved on from that day, and from what I’d been telling him, he thought Lily had, too. I agreed with him. Part of me thought his eagerness to go had to do with their excellent cooking skills; he knew Bob and Marshall were much better cooks than me. Whatever the reasons for Jonathan agreeing to this arrangement for Thanksgiving, I was very much looking forward to it.
Jim and I had a dilemma as to whether it was all right for him to stay with me while Jonathan was there, and I sought help with it from Bob and Marshall. I simply dropped over one night after dinner and they welcomed me warmly.
“Okay, you two. I have a problem.” I was direct with them, and as I explained, “Bob, this is rather weird for me to talk to you about. It’s your father, and we’re thinking that he’ll stay at my place for Thanksgiving. I’ve been wondering… how do you think that will be for Jonathan?”
Bob’s characteristic eyebrow went up and back down really quickly. After knowing him for months now, I still wasn’t sure how to read that raised eyebrow. Marshall didn’t try to conceal his smile, and Bob shook his head. “First I’m going to have to sort out how I feel about it, before I try to figure out things for Jonathan,” he began slowly.
For a moment, I felt embarrassed and the heat rose in my face, but he immediately broke out in a smile and said, “Calm down, Mara! I’m just pulling your leg. I have never seen my father as happy as he’s been these past few months. He and I are actually talking about real things for the first time ever! He and my mom were always compatible, but I think this change in him is because you two have a unique connection.”
I sighed with relief, and smiled back, “Thanks, Bob! I was horrified for a minute to think I shouldn’t have asked you about this!”
Marshall cleared his throat and said, “How considerate you are to think about Jonathan. I really don’t see any problem, but why not just mention it to him and gauge his reaction?” Bob nodded his agreement, and they made me feel I was worried unnecessarily. Their answer also sounded a lot like something Patrick would say. Next, our conversation moved to Thanksgiving dinner and what they wanted others to bring, what time, and all the particulars. Before I left, I did mention Jonathan’s frustration over his one roommate. Bob leaned forward in his chair and ever so seriously commented,
“He’s complaining about his roommate? How unusual.” He kept a straight face for a moment, until he allowed a smile to break through. Once again, my friends had brought me back to the real world.
I knew it was useless to try to call Jonathan, so I waited for him to call me before mentioning my plans with Jim for Thanksgiving. When he called, I brought it up immediately. There was a long pause, along the lines of what I imagine a pregnant pause would be like. Finally, he spoke.
“Wow, Mom! You beat me to my own question. I was going to ask if I could bring someone home with me. One of the guys here in the dorm definitely won’t be going to his home in New York for Thanksgiving and….”
His voice trailed off. I knew I had to tread carefully; I wondered if this was a special someone for him, or just a friend he wanted to show some hospitality. Before I spoke, he continued,
“Well, I guess if you’ve invited Jim, there isn’t room for Amir. I wouldn’t want to ask him to sleep on the couch.”
That gave me a lot of information. He was a bringing a friend home for Thanksgiving, just as Gabby had when she was a freshman. But why wasn’t there room for him? “Jonathan, of course you can bring him home, and there’s room. He can stay in Gabby’s room. You know she doesn’t get Thanksgiving off at McGill,” I said without hesitation.
“You’re confusing me, Mom. Are you going to uninvite Jim or are you thinking he’ll stay with Bob and Marshall?”
Obviously, I hadn’t done a very good job of keeping Jonathan up to date with my relationship with Jim. These days, it seemed we only spoke long enough to find out how he was doing before the phone call was over. Feeling a little awkward, I decided to just tell him.
“Jonathan, didn’t you know I’ve been seeing Jim? Remember, I even went to visit him. He’s planning to move here, probably in January. He’ll stay here, with me, for Thanksgiving,” I stopped for a moment before I added rather shyly, “in my room, you know?”
Another long pause followed before he said a word. Finally all he said was, “Really? When you first talked about moving, I hoped something like this might happen, Mom. I guess I should have paid more attention to Bob’s father! You did say you were going to visit him, but I never put two and two together.”
His reaction to my news was so warm and positive that my feelings of awkwardness dissipated like a lump of sugar in a cup of hot coffee. We continued to make plans regarding when he and Amir would arrive and other details. He actually stayed on the phone long enough to tell me had his first test in Sociology and Algebra this week, and how much he was enjoying his Psychology class. He was not doing well with Biology, though, and was planning to go to this week’s help session. It was the longest we had spoken since he had left, and before we hung up, he said, “Mom, that’s very cool about Jim. Thanks for letting me bring Amir home; his parents are not okay with this dorm situation. I’m looking forward to Thanksgiving a lot. Bye.”
And he was gone. I felt a mixture of emotions: Relief that Jim being with me over Thanksgiving was not likely to cause a problem for us, delight that we had spoken for so long, and concern about helping his friend feel comfortable in our home. Most of all, I realized I was looking forward to Thanksgiving with some of my favorite men.