It was an empty threat and we both knew it. “Good luck. There are cameras all over this place. I’ll send footage of you attacking me to every news station in the area and it’ll be public knowledge that you started crying like a little girl and begging me to cease my relentless assault after you initially attacked me.”
“I didn’t beg you! I most certainly didn’t cry.”
“Yeah, but that won’t be how I tell the story. Those cameras are video only. I can make up whatever I want for the audio, and we both know people will believe it because you attacked me first.”
“I will end you,” Tad gritted out with enough vehemence that spittle hit my lip.
“Ugh. Say it, don’t spray it.”
Tad tried again. “I will make you wish you were never born.”
I wiped my face a second time and frowned. “I asked for the news, not the weather.”
“What?”
I shook my head at my own lameness. “It’s a joke I heard once. It’s not nearly as funny in reality as I thought it would be in my head.”
“I’m sure that can be said for almost everything where you’re concerned.”
“And yet I’m not the one on my knees.” I readjusted my stack of documents and remembered I was supposed to be somewhere ... and soon. “Crap. I’m going to be late. Eliot won’t be happy.”
“Good.” Some of the tension eased in Tad’s face. “Maybe he will finally wise up and break up with you.”
“You wish.” My eyes drifted toward the Coney Island where I was supposed to meet Eliot, my breath running short when I realized the man in question’s eyes were already on me — his mother standing directly to his right — as I lorded my superior fighting abilities over Tad. The look on Eliot’s face was a mask of concern and fury. “Uh-oh.”
“Yes, that’s right.” Tad rested his hands on the pavement for leverage as he slowly raised himself to a shaky standing position. “You’re finally realizing that you’re in trouble, huh? It’s about time.”
I was definitely in trouble. None of it had anything to do with Tad’s nonexistent power, though. “You might want to shut your mouth now,” I warned, grim. Eliot was stalking across the street and I had a feeling he would be equally angry with both of us. Maggie trailed her son, a look of what I could only describe as mortification on her face, so things were probably going to be doubly worse than they would be under normal circumstances.
Great. I so didn’t need this.
“I am not going to shut my mouth.” Tad was mostly on his feet at this point, although he was doubled over at the waist. He had yet to see Eliot and his mother, which was probably a good thing. “You’re going to jail, missy. I’m going to see to it that you’re locked up and they throw away the key. How do you like that?”
I opened my mouth to answer, something snarky on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t get a chance to make my opinion known because that’s the exact moment Eliot reached us.
I don’t know what I expected. Eliot was never happy when I brawled with Tad. While I tended to believe that Tad was a moron of the highest level and not a physical threat, Eliot felt exactly the opposite. He was convinced I would one day push Tad to the point he snapped. Even if that happened, I couldn’t work up the effort to worry about it. Tad had the equivalent strength of a Kardashian when a camera wasn’t present. He wasn’t a threat.
“Hi, honey.” I pasted a bright smile on my face. “How was your day?”
“Don’t start.” Eliot was clearly furious as he took me by surprise and pressed his foot into the back of Tad’s knee, causing him to topple back to the pavement. His movement was casual, as if he hadn’t just carried out a maneuver that made me want to reward him with some of the dirtiest sex ever. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on here?”
Oh, well, that was a loaded question. I’d feel more comfortable answering if Maggie wasn’t watching me with a look that suggested she was horrified by what was happening.
“Well ... .” I licked my lips and debated how to answer.
“The truth,” Eliot barked, his temper on full display.
Whoops. Clearly shopping with his mother had sapped all of Eliot’s world-famous patience. He usually put up with my antics for a good five minutes before he reached this point on his temper train schedule. “How was shopping?”
Eliot’s fury was palpable as he narrowed his eyes. “Avery ... .”
“Fine.” I threw up a hand, resigned. “If you must know, I came here to check on a few things and got distracted by this walking maggot on my way out. Did you know he gave the clerks a list of appropriate comments and one of them is that ‘Tad Ludington puts the A in action when it comes to helping his constituents’? I mean ... can you believe that?”
Eliot’s mouth opened but no sound came out. I decided to press my advantage.
“Also, his fifth point is that Tad Ludington is a people person, which means people should worship him whenever they get the chance.”
Eliot’s facade finally broke. “Did he really do that?”
I nodded, solemn. “I couldn’t very well ignore the sheet once I saw it. That’s cruel and unusual punishment. You know that.”
“Fine.” Eliot sucked in a calming breath. “I understand you couldn’t stop yourself from messing with him. Why was he on the ground?”
“Oh, that.” This topic would be slightly more uncomfortable. “He tried to strangle me, so I kicked him in the nuts. I was just about to deliver the death blow when I saw you.”
Eliot made a face. “Did he put his hands on you?”
“Well ... .” I was uncomfortable with the fury reflected on Eliot’s handsome features. “I think you’re getting worked up for no reason. I handled things on my own. It’s not necessary for you to freak out.”
“Did. He. Put. His. Hands. On. You.”
Whenever Eliot utilized his infamous clipped tone – like now – I knew things were about to get ugly. “Just barely,” I said finally.
Tad, never one to catch on quickly, had been watching our interaction with keen interest. It was clear he was afraid of Eliot when he shrank back. “I barely touched her, man.”
“Well, then I guess I’ll barely touch you.” Eliot moved to grab Tad around the neck, but he pulled up short when he recognized the figure moving in behind Tad.
Jake Farrell, my former high school boyfriend and Macomb County’s sheriff, didn’t bother to hide his curiosity as his gaze bounced between faces. “What’s going on?”
“I’m going to kill Ludington,” Eliot replied without hesitation. “He’s got it coming and I can’t wait to do it.”
Jake cocked an eyebrow, seemingly amused. He exchanged a quick look with the woman standing behind him, who I had set him up with a few weeks ago, and it was clear they were both entertained by the scenario. “Ludington always has it coming, but I’m curious exactly what he has coming this time.”
“He put his hands on my girlfriend.” Eliot’s fury was obviously going to break free soon if I didn’t get a handle on this situation.
“Eliot ... .”
“Wait. He put his hands on you?” Jake held up a finger to still Eliot as he focused on me. “Did he hurt you?”
“Not really.”
“Not really?”
Oh, geez. What is it with the men in my life acting all protective and alpha when I least need them to swoop in and save the day? On a whim, I decided to address Jake’s new girlfriend rather than the men. “Hey, Lauren. You look great. How are things going?”
Lauren pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. She and I barely knew each other, yet she was already used to my antics. I hated Jake’s last girlfriend with a fiery passion — and that was before she was murdered by a crazy legal secretary — so I was already considering his fledgling relationship with Lauren a win. She didn’t seem threatened by me and actually enjoyed hanging out as a foursome. That was exactly what I was looking for when it came to a partner for Jake.
“Things are go
ing well, Avery,” Lauren replied after a struggle to maintain her demeanor. “How are things with you?”
“Oh, well, you know.” I cast a derisive glare in Tad’s direction. “This moron sent out a reminder sheet to the workers in the clerk’s office with talking points should they ever want to discuss him with visitors or members of the media. Number seven says that Tad Ludington is the sort of change Macomb County needs. In my head I picture that as a diaper change.”
Lauren burst out laughing as Tad growled and lunged at me. Eliot was clearly waiting for the move because he grabbed Tad by the throat and lifted him a full two inches off the ground before he stared hard into his eyes and issued a silent threat that was downright chilling.
“I warned you about this,” Eliot started.
“I didn’t ... grrk ... do anything.” Tad’s face was red from the effort to breathe as he struggled against Eliot’s grip.
“I warned you about this,” Eliot repeated, his voice deathly calm. I knew that was a sign he was very close to losing control. The quieter he got, the more frightening he became. “I told you if you put your hands on her that I would end you.”
“Grrk.” Tad couldn’t form words as his feet desperately tried to find traction.
“Dude, I think you should drop him,” Jake suggested, his expression serious as he focused solely on Eliot. They had a unique relationship. They’d served in the military together, had a falling out, and then ended up in the same town where they constantly crossed paths because of their relationships with me.
At first I thought they would never get along. Jake seemingly had bigger issues with Eliot than Eliot had with Jake. They ultimately managed to come to a compromise, and now they not only tolerated one another, they actually seemed to be forming a friendship.
“I’m not putting him down,” Eliot snapped. “I’ve warned this idiot multiple times about touching her.”
“I know that.” Jake remained patient, which I thought was amazing given the circumstances. “You know how she is, though.”
Eliot was incredulous as he turned his eyes to Jake. “Are you suggesting she deserves it?”
“Absolutely not.” Jake was firm. “I’m suggesting that she pushed him — like she always does — and he retaliated because he’s too stupid to know better.”
“It’s not okay for him to put his hands on her,” Eliot persisted.
“It’s definitely not,” Jake agreed. “But I’m guessing she pushed him. And, because she’s Avery, I’m guessing she pushed him hard.”
“I don’t care.” Eliot was adamant. “I already told him that I don’t care if she pushes him so hard he cracks in half like the Titanic. It’s one thing for them to be verbally abusive with one another — I don’t like that, but accept it — but it’s quite another for him to put his hands on her.”
“I don’t disagree.” Jake made a grunting sound as he managed to dislodge Eliot’s fingers from Tad’s throat. “But you can’t kill him. I’ll have to arrest you, and Avery will hunt me to the ends of the county if that happens.”
“The ends of the world,” I corrected, focusing on Tad as he made choking noises and sucked in huge mouthfuls of air. “I hope you’ve learned your lesson.”
“Oh, I have.” Tad’s eyes watered as he blinked and tried to regain his senses. “I’m sensible enough to have your boyfriend arrested. I want to file charges against him.” Tad rubbed his throat with one hand and pointed at Eliot with the other. “You saw him assault me. You have no choice but to arrest him.”
Jake looked caught ... and furious. “Are you sure that’s the way you want to go?”
Tad nodded and sneered. “I am.”
“No, he’s not,” I countered, my temper coming out to play. “That’s so not what’s going to happen.”
“You listen here, Avery Shaw ... .”
I glared at Tad as I shook my head. “No, you listen. I already told you this area is covered in cameras. If you force Jake to arrest Eliot, then I will have the footage pulled and press charges against you. You have a lot more to lose than Eliot. You’re running for office.”
Jake brightened considerably. “That’s true. If you touched Avery at all on that footage, you’ll be going to jail for much longer than Eliot would.”
“That’s on top of the public humiliation,” I added, warming to my topic. “You said it yourself. I’m on vacation. I’m not focused on you this week. If Eliot goes to jail, I’m going to be forced to focus on you.”
“If that’s not a terrifying threat, I don’t know what is,” Jake said, causing Lauren to smile as she watched the show unfold. She wisely kept her mouth shut, but I could tell she was enjoying the interaction for what it was ... ridiculous.
“I will publicize the video ... and the talking points you handed out to the clerks ... and the fact that you have the world’s tiniest penis if you push me.”
Tad huffed out something wretched under his breath before ultimately nodding. He didn’t look happy, but he knew when he was beat. As much as he wanted Eliot to pay, he truly did have more to lose than my boyfriend did. “Fine. But I want that sheet of paper you stole back.”
“I lost it when you went for me and I kicked you in the nuts,” I supplied, keeping my face straight. “I don’t know where it went.”
“You lost it?” Tad turned screechy. “How could you lose it? That’s a private document!”
“So you’d better go find it,” Jake suggested, his tone weighted.
“Whatever.” Tad grimaced as he glanced between faces, ultimately landing on me. “This isn’t over. I will pay you back for this.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
We watched him go in silence. Maggie was the first to break it.
“So ... are we all having that late lunch I was promised? I would love to meet your friends, Eliot.”
Eliot exhaled heavily as he cast me a sidelong look. I could tell we were both thinking the same thing. Explaining Jake’s presence in our lives was going to be exceedingly difficult. “I’m going to blame you for this later. There will be punishment.”
“I’m looking forward to that, too.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
14 Fourteen
Lunch with my ex-boyfriend, his current girlfriend, my boyfriend and my boyfriend’s mother was as uncomfortable as you might expect. This was after witnessing a chick fight (yes, Tad is just that lame), which missed only the requisite hair pulling and screeching to be called a bitch fight. Once we were settled at a table, orders placed, Maggie wasted no time digging in.
“Does anyone want to tell me what just happened?”
“It’s nothing,” I said hurriedly, sipping my iced tea. “Just a misunderstanding.”
“A misunderstanding?” Maggie’s eyebrows flew up. “How is it a misunderstanding that my son almost ripped that man’s head off?”
“That wasn’t a misunderstanding,” Eliot replied calmly. “One day I’ll be forced to kill that guy. You should prepare yourself, mother. It will probably make the news.”
“I don’t want you to go to jail for killing him,” Maggie said pragmatically. “I don’t understand why you hate him so much.”
“You should spend five minutes with him,” Jake suggested, his hand resting on top of Lauren’s on the tabletop. “Then you would understand.”
“But ... .”
Eliot ignored his mother’s confusion and focused on me. “What were you even doing here, Avery?”
“I had stuff to look up and I was bored.” That wasn’t technically a lie. I was bored and I left the clerk’s office with information. Of course, when Eliot figured out what information I was looking for I knew things would turn ugly.
“You could’ve gone to the mall with Mom and me.”
Oh, geez. He was clearly going to turn this into a thing. “I already told you that I didn’t want to interrupt your mother-and-son bonding.”
“I already told you I don’t believe that line of malarkey.”
“
That’s because you’re an untrusting soul.”
“Avery ... .”
“Let’s not turn this into World War III,” Jake suggested, pinning Eliot and me with looks that promised retribution. “I don’t think Ludington is worth getting upset about.”
“I agree.” I smiled at him. “So ... you and Lauren look happy and cozy. When am I going to get my thank-you for setting you up?”
“Probably about the same time you and Ludington start playing nice,” Jake replied, unruffled. “When do you think that will happen?”
That was a good question. “I don’t know. I’ll get back to you on that.”
“I figured.”
In an attempt to smooth things, Lauren took control of the conversation. “So, I know I’m new to the county but I’m not sure I understand everything that’s going on here. I thought Tad Ludington was running for county commissioner.”
“He is,” Jake confirmed.
“Then why would he be issuing memos to the clerk’s staff before he’s elected?”
“Because he’s a tool,” I answered, casting Eliot a sidelong look and internally cringing at the set of his jaw. He was clearly furious. “He’s not even a fun tool like a power saw. He’s one of those tools that no one ever uses except to unclog the toilet or something.”
“And what kind of tool is that?” Eliot asked.
“I have no idea. I don’t plumb. Wait ... is that a word? Do you plumb when you’re fixing a toilet?”
Even though it was obvious he wanted to stew in his anger for a bit, Eliot cracked a smile. “I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it. Perhaps you could look that up rather than stick your nose into things that don’t concern you when you’re supposed to be on vacation.”
“How do you know I was sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong?”
“I’m familiar with your work.”
I didn’t bother to hide my eye roll as I leaned back in my chair. “I think you’re being a bit ridiculous,” I said after a moment. “It was supposed to be a quick stop.”
“For what reason?”
“Oh, well ... .”
On Deadline & Under Fire Page 13