“So,” she says, to my surprise, “how are you liking the house?”
“It’s amazing,” I tell her. “It must have been so cool growing up there.”
A smile spreads across Haven’s lips as she looks out to the mountains.
“It was a damn dream,” she mutters. A breeze blows by, and she closes her eyes, letting it blow over her.
“Look, I don’t want to make you feel like you can’t be there or put you out. If you’re not comfortable with us both staying there, I’m happy to go back to the inn. I’m still paying for my room, so I still have it.”
She looks at me and flashes me another quick smile.
“Nah, it’s not just you,” she says. “I’m not ready to be there without her yet.”
I nod slowly, letting her words sink in.
It’s funny. She doesn’t know the house––or life, for that matter––without May. I don’t know it with her.
“Why are you still paying for the room?” Derrick asks, leaning back to extend his arm across the back of the seat so that his fingers dangle just above my shoulder.
“I, uh, I didn’t want Mrs. Miller to lose the business so soon,” I say. He narrows his eyes on me as that devious smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.
“Should we pull off for a quick dip?” Teddy asks, pointing the boat toward a cove. “It’s hot out here.”
We pull a little farther down, and he cuts the engine. The boat floats around slowly, and Teddy and Ryder are stripping off their shirts and jumping off the boat within seconds. Mila helps Annabelle zip up her life vest, and she gets a running start off the boat into the deep, dark water.
Haven slips her t-shirt off before taking an Olympic-level dive into the water. Derrick stands next to me. He reaches his hands down slowly to the hem of his shirt before pulling it off his head. I try not to stare, but it’s really fucking hard.
“You comin’?” he asks. I swallow and shake my head, pointing to my body.
“No suit, remember?”
He leans down close to me so that his lips are mere inches from my ear.
“I thought I told you I could get you wet with no problem.”
I swallow, and before I realize what he’s doing, he wraps his arms around my waist and scoops me up. He shakes my feet so that my sandals fall from them into the boat, then he stands on the back.
“Here we come!” he calls out, and the rest of the group cheers from the water. Traitors. I scream as he jumps, holding my breath as we get sucked under. The sensation of the chilly lake water combined with the heat of his body sends my hormones raging. He wraps his arm around my waist again and pushes up to the surface. I laugh and push my hair back out of my face.
“You looked like you were getting kinda hot,” he says with a wink. I splash him.
“Jerk,” I laugh as I swim to the ladder that hangs off the back of the boat.
We swim for a little while, jumping and diving, treading water and lounging on the back
of the boat. Derrick and I catch each other’s eyes more than once, and each time, it makes my heart jump. He made it clear that he won’t be crossing any physical line any time soon, but it sure does feel like that line is getting more blurry by the day. Just as he’s narrowed in on me, swimming in my direction, Annabelle pipes up.
“Mama, I have to use the bathroom,” she says as she kicks toward the boat.
“Number one or number two?” Mila asks. Annabelle looks around to all of us before leaning a little closer to her.
“Number two,” she says in her best attempt at a whisper.
“No problem,” Teddy says with a chuckle. “Let’s go. I’ll whip it back around, and we can go toward town. We could use some provisions, anyway.”
One by one, we all climb back in. Derrick tosses me a towel, and I dry off a bit before taking my seat next to him again. Teddy points the boat toward shore where a few small businesses sit, and I recognize the cafe that Derrick pointed out next to what looks to be a convenience store.
“What can I get everyone?” Mila asks as Teddy pulls the boat into one of the slots.
“I can run into the store while you take her,” Haven says, pulling her t-shirt back on over her bathing suit. I look from her to Mila.
“I can come, too,” I say. Haven looks at me for a moment then nods. We get the rest of the crew’s snack orders, and then I follow her and Mila off the boat, down the dock, and up the set of wooden stairs that lead up the hillside to where the convenience store sits.
We part ways with Mila and Annabelle, and they head off to use the bathroom at the cafe while we go to grab the food. I follow Haven inside as she scrolls through the list of orders she took on her phone.
“Jeesh, Derrick asked for the whole damn store,” she says with a chuckle. “I don’t know how someone can eat as much as he does and also look the way he does.”
I smile, picturing his body when he slipped that shirt off just a little while ago.
“You can stop drooling now,” she says, and I snap back to reality and shake my head.
“Uh, what––what do you mean?”
She scoffs.
“Girl, please. He might be like my brother, but it doesn’t mean I don’t see how girls look at him. It’s not a secret he looks like some damn model.” She turns down the first aisle to grab some chips, and I follow behind.
“Are there, uh, are there a lot of, um…” My cheeks begin to burn as my eyes drop down to my feet. She turns to face me.
“You tryin’ to get the deets on him?” she asks, perching a hand on her hip and looking at me. I swallow. But then her face breaks into a sly smile. “The deets are...there are none. Derrick is very guarded. His parents had a rocky relationship. It’s sort of a long story and not mine to tell. But the short of it is, no, there’s no one serious in Derrick’s life. He’s sort of Meade Lake’s most eligible bachelor, but as long as I’ve known him, it’s been nothing but short flings.”
I nod slowly, feeling some sense of relief. “Don’t worry. His eyes are on someone, alright. But that someone is you.”
She turns at the end of the aisle and keeps walking. I grab the back half of the list, a water bottle for myself, and some sunflower seeds before walking back toward the front of the store. Haven emerges from the back, arms full of snacks and drinks, and lays them on the counter. As she reaches for her wallet, I put my hand on hers and slip the cashier my credit card.
“Let me. You all have been so amazing these last few weeks,” I say before she can protest. “It’s the least I can do for all the catching up you’ve had to do.”
I can see she’s questioning it, but after a moment, she puts the last of the items down and backs away from the counter so I can finish checking out. We turn to walk out when she freezes.
“Shoot. I forgot to get a popsicle for Annabelle. I’ll meet you outside,” she tells me before turning back inside. I’m standing in the parking lot for what seems to be too long. I look down the hill, and I can see that Mila and Annabelle are already back in the boat. I turn back to the store, and I see Haven, her hands up, standing directly in front of the counter. I burst back in through the door.
“What’s going on?” I ask. Her eyes grow wide, and she shakes her head slowly, as if she wants me not to say anything.
“There’s nothing to see, ma’am,” says a new cashier who is standing behind the counter. He’s got one hand up, his index finger pointed in Haven’s direction. She’s frozen, her hands up, as if it’s a gun. His other is holding the phone to his ear, and I can hear him calling 911.
“Hello, yes, I believe I have an attempted robbery at Phil’s Convenience off Lakeshore Highway. Yes, we’re located up by the Sellbrooke Cafe. Suspect is a young woman, appears to be, uh, African American. Yes. Thank you.”
He hangs the phone up, and I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. But I also feel something else. Something that’s making the blood run hot like lava through my veins. Something that’s making my extremities numb.
“I saw her,” the man says.
“I didn’t take anything, sir,” Haven says, holding her hands up. “I was trying to get a popsicle, but it looks like you’re out. That’s all––”
“I saw you stuff something in your pocket before you walked toward that door,” he says, his plump cheeks reddening with anger. He’s got one hand on the counter and one down behind it, out of sight. He’s overweight with a t-shirt that wraps tight around his belly before tucking into his jeans. He has a bushy, strawberry-blonde beard that looks like it’s seen better days and a toothpick hanging out of his mouth.
“She wouldn’t steal anything,” I say again, taking a step closer.
“Ma’am, just go about your business, please,” he says, never taking his eyes off Haven. Like he’s afraid she’s going to explode. “No one’s comin’ up in here and taking anything for free. I work too damn hard in this store.” He narrows his eyes at her, and I see her swallow. Since the day I stepped foot in Meade Lake, Haven has been cold, then warmer, then funny, and even a little bit welcoming. But the one thing that’s been consistent the whole time I’ve been here is that she’s been fierce as hell. She loves the people around her fiercely; she loves the town fiercely. And I can tell she loved May fiercely. But right now, when I look at my sister, I see something I haven’t seen her exhibit yet: fear.
My sister is scared.
“Haven…” I start to say. But she shakes her head at me.
“He has a shotgun back there,” she says, her voice low and steady. She never takes her eyes from him. “I heard him cock it.”
Everything around me goes silent, and all I can hear are my own shallow breaths. I don’t know what to do. I move in slow motion, put my bags down on the counter, and take a few more steps closer to her so that I’m positioning myself between her and the checkout counter. She shakes her head subtly again, like she wants me to just disappear.
“This is my sister,” I say, my voice getting louder. And for the first time, the man’s eyes leave Haven as they dart to me. “And she didn’t take anything.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the flashing lights of a police cruiser pull up out front of the doors. I swallow. A moment later, an officer walks in the door, pulling his pants up by his belt.
“Afternoon, Wayne,” he says, nodding to the cashier. Great. Everyone knows everyone in this town. “What seems to be the problem here?”
“This one walked to the back of my store then went to walk out without buyin’ anything. Saw her sticking something in her pocket as she headed for the door,” he says, a smug look appearing on his face.
My palms are sweaty, and I’m fuming.
“Officer, this is my sister. She didn’t take anything, she––”
The cop nods and holds his hand up.
“If you don’t mind, ma’am, can you empty your pockets?” he asks, cutting me off. The ding of the bell above the door goes off, and I can see Ryder and Derrick walking in, Derrick leading Ryder in.
“What’s going on?” Ryder asks, his voice booming. I feel a sense of relief when I see them. But to my surprise, Derrick slinks behind Ryder a bit.
“Nothin’ to see here,” Wayne says. “Please continue on with your shopping.”
“I’m with them,” Ryder says, nodding in our direction. “So I’ll ask again: what’s the problem here?” I know all he can see are shapes and colors, but there’s no mistaking the anger in his eyes right now. And the look on Derrick’s is one I have never seen in the few weeks I’ve known him. A heavy, pained anger, but also a hopelessness. Like he feels completely powerless. Our eyes lock for a moment, and then he drops his to the floor. I can see him drawing in long, slow breaths like he’s trying to control himself.
“Caught this one,” he says, jutting a thumb toward Haven, “trying to walk out without paying.” Ryder takes a few more steps in our direction so that he’s just feet away from Wayne.
“Ryder,” Haven says in that same slow, steady voice, “he has a shotgun.”
I swear, flames ignite in Ryder’s eyes. He takes another few steps closer to Wayne, like he’s made of fucking steel. Like a shotgun wouldn’t blow him in half at this distance.
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to raise both hands above the counter, please,” the officer interjects. Slowly, Wayne drags his other hand up and rests it on the counter—empty.
“Do you know who ‘this one’ is?” Ryder asks him. Wayne’s beady eyes dart from Haven back to Ryder, and he shakes his head. “This here is Haven. Haven Dean.” Wayne’s eyes widen.
“Shit,” he mutters under his breath as his eyes jump from person to person in the store. Ryder plants his hands on the counter in front of him.
“Granddaughter of May Dean that you have your fucking hand on a gun for. And she didn’t take anything from your stupid fucking store.”
Haven reaches into the pockets of her jean shorts and pulls them out, showing the police officer that they’re completely empty.
“I don’t steal,” she says, her eyes drilling into Wayne. He clears his throat and shifts awkwardly on his feet.
“Well, seems like all is okay here. Have a good day, folks,” the officer says. He’s waiting for us to exit the store before he leaves. Ryder sticks his hand out to Haven, who takes it shakily. He pulls her in, and they walk out the front door. Derrick follows behind, but not before staring at Wayne again. I can see there is so much he wants to say, but he knows, for some reason, he can’t.
I walk toward the door and turn back to Wayne one more time. He’s standing still, like he’s been stunned by some sort of taser.
“That was wrong of you, and I think you know that,” I tell him. “She has to live with what you just put her through. But so do you.”
In the parking lot, Haven’s leaning on Derrick’s shoulder as Ryder watches them from a few yards away. I walk up next to him.
“That was…” I start, struggling to find the words.
“Really fucking unfair,” he finishes my sentence for me. “But that’s their life. Even here.”
17
The boat ride back is silent and awkward. We’re on the open water, the wind whipping through us, but the air is still thick with tension. I replay the last minutes in my mind, over and over. I was angry. So angry. And stunned. Completely stunned.
But Haven and Derrick looked scared. Like something had silenced them.
No one speaks for a long time until, finally, Derrick leans across the seat and puts his hand on Haven’s knee. She has her head turned to the side, looking out over the side of the boat.
“You good?” he asks her. She nods her head but doesn’t turn to look at him. “They can’t keep us down, Hay.” She nods again, putting her hand on top of his and patting it. Finally, I start to recognize the scenery a little more, the one tree that stands taller than all the rest on the crest of the mountain ahead of us, a few of the massive houses I remember riding by. Teddy pulls the boat into the dock slip at May’s, and I stand to collect my things. I thank them all for the day, but I’m met by forced smiles and quiet goodbyes. Mila pushes up from her seat and walks toward the back of the boat. She grabs Haven’s hands and kneels down in front of her.
“We got you,” she whispers before wrapping Haven in a hug. She takes the seat next to her and puts her arm around her shoulders, and I feel that same jealousy again that I felt when I watched her and Derrick. Like she’s everyone else’s sister, but mine.
Our eyes meet, and I nod in Haven’s direction.
“I’m really sorry that happened to you today,” I tell her, keeping my eyes trained on hers. I want her to know how much I mean it. How I’ll be replaying that scene in my head over and over. She nods back at me.
“That’s life, Kaylee,” she says with a shrug as she leans back a bit in her seat. “You got our mom, but you also got something else out of that deal.” I raise my eyebrows at
her, and she nods in my direction again. “That skin. That skin will get you a lot of free passes in this world.”
I look down at my arms as if I’m not aware what color my own flesh is. But that’s just the thing; I’ve never thought about it. Not once. I look down at the light-brown freckles that speckle my pale skin, turning my arms over like I’ve just become aware of some sort of secret weapon I possess.
Our eyes meet one last time before I step off the boat and wait for Derrick. He follows me off the dock, and I can feel that joyful air about him is missing. When we reach the house, he follows me up the porch steps. He leans back against the wood siding and looks out ahead.
“Wanna come in for a few?” I ask him. I hate the idea of him leaving like this. Like the real Derrick has left his body. He looks at me for a moment, then the corner of his mouth tugs up. He nods, and I lead him inside. I grab us each a beer from the fridge––I figure he could definitely use one––and we walk out the back door to the deck. He puts the bottle to his lips, and I watch as he takes a swig of it, his brown eyes sparkling with the dimming sunlight. I turn and lean back against the railing before mustering up enough courage to ask him the question that’s been burning on my mind.
“Has anything like that ever...ever happened to you?” I ask him, wrapping my arms around my body as I stand awkwardly next to him. He turns to face me, resting his arm on the railing.
“What, you mean like today?” he asks, that same half-smile creeping onto his lips. But I can’t figure out what’s funny about it. He looks down at the bottle in his hands and swirls it in circles. “Yeah, girl. Shit like that’s happened to me before,” he says just above a whisper. I narrow my eyes as they scour his face, wondering how anyone could ever see something dangerous about this man in front of me.
His gentle touch, the way he cares about his mom. The way he is with children, the fact that he’s an intelligent business owner. But even if I didn’t know all that, just his smile. The way he carries himself.
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