My eyes widen as I peer up at him. It wasn’t a dream. The memories are jumbled, but it’s slowly coming together. One thing I remember clearly is Ash bursting in. “You saved me.”
“I did.” He pulls the chair closer to the bed and sits. “Why do you sound surprised?”
“I…I left you.”
A scowl forms on his face. “And you think because you were angry with me that I’d suddenly stop caring? That I wouldn’t try to keep you safe?”
“No. I just…”
His eyes blaze as he continues, “Especially when I know you’re running from something, other than me.”
My mouth gapes open. “How?”
“I put it together.” He leans closer, his eyes searching mine. “What are you running from, Ellie? Or yet, who are you running from?”
My mouth snaps shut, and I avert my gaze. “It doesn’t concern you.”
His hands form fists. “I think it does,” he says through a clenched jaw. He sweeps an arm out, gesturing to me. “Look at you, you’re in a hospital. If I wasn’t there, you’d be dead.”
I school my face. “It just means I need to move on to the next place sooner than I planned.”
“And if they follow you?” he asks, his tone hard.
I straighten my spine despite the pain. “I’ll just keep going. It wouldn’t be the first time. Even if it’s staying at rundown places with druggies or homeless people, I’ve always found a place.”
His nostrils flare. “And you say that with pride? Those aren’t places you want to stay, Ellie.”
“What choice do I have? The only option is to keep moving.”
“You plan on running for the rest of your life?” He gives me an exasperated look. “How long have you been running?”
How old am I? “About three years.”
Ash clenches his jaw. “Three years too long.”
“What? And staying with him was the better option?” I ask, folding my arms over my chest. But I quickly uncross them as it stretches the wounds on my back.
A growl rips from his throat, but I don’t feel threatened or scared. “Him is the other male. The dark-haired one that hurt you, right? What’s his name?”
“How do you know it wasn’t the other man?”
His gaze burns as he stares at my injured cheek. “I know the other. I’ll deal with him later.”
“He didn’t hurt me.”
Ash’s eyes snap to mine. “He didn’t?” Then they narrow. “But he was there and didn't stop it.”
“He tried,” I say. Not until it was practically too late, but still...he tried.
“Not hard enough.” He growls out the words, sending a shiver through me, but not from fear. His eyes soften as he notices. “I’m sorry. How are you feeling?”
It’s hard to swallow as tears burn my eyes. How can he go from angry to sweet so fast? “Could be better.” I meet his gaze. “Thank you, for saving me.”
His face falls as he stiffens. “I shouldn’t have been saving you. I should’ve been protecting you. You shouldn’t have gotten hurt at all.”
“How could you have known?” I ask. “I’m just lucky you got there when you did.”
“I’m still sorry.”
“You’re apologizing for not saving me fast enough?” I shake my head, but cut it short when a headache flares up. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You did everything right.”
A corner of his mouth curls. “You’re too good to me.”
I sigh and readjust how I’m laying, my body becoming more aware of just how injured I am. “So, you know Zac?” I ask, trying to distract myself.
His head jerks back. “You know Zac?”
The lights seem to grow brighter. I close my eyes against the glare as the headache worsens. “Not really.” My voice comes out soft. “I ran into him at a grocery store a couple weeks ago.” Literally.
“That’s how he…”
I peek an eye open. “How he what?”
His brows are scrunched together. “Knew about you. It’s why I left. Other lycans had started to scout near the area, I just thought it was because I was careless.”
“Why would it matter?”
“Apparently it does. Since Zac led…” He trails off, waiting for a name.
Reclosing my eyes, I let out a sigh. The pounding in my head won’t stop. “Marcus.”
“Right. Since he led Marcus to you.”
And now I need to move.
But I’m tired of running.
Moving four times a year for the past three years has been exhausting to say the least, and honestly I moved more often than that when I couldn’t find a place to stay and just went from abandoned lot to abandoned lot.
Emma. I sit up, my eyes popping open. Bile rises to the surface. I clamp a hand over my mouth to keep it in while holding my stomach with the other.
Ash touches my arm. “Ellie? Are you alright?”
I shake my head, but that just makes everything worse. I feel disoriented. The dizziness is getting worse with each passing second, but I need to know. Uncovering my mouth, I force out, “Emma.”
His hand moves up and down my arm in a soothing manner. “Emma is okay, she’s staying with Tom. No one else got hurt. Emma also let her sister know—Jane, I believe she said was her name—that you’re okay.”
A weight lifts off my shoulders. I can’t believe I forgot about her for a moment. Just the thought of her getting hurt makes my stomach twist worse. I groan as another wave of nausea comes. “I feel sick.”
Ash’s touch leaves my arm. There’s the sound of footsteps and the opening of a door. “Kathy.”
I flinch at his panic-laced yell and press a palm to my forehead as I lean back into the bed.
Sharp pain erupts along my back. I let out a harsh gasp and slowly move forward off my wounds.
But in this position, each time I breathe, knives stab me from the inside out.
Another wave of dizziness hits and spots dot my vision. I grip onto the railing on the left side of my bed to ground myself. Am I about to pass out?
I don’t remember it hurting this bad in the past. I thought I would be used to pain by now, but I was wrong.
Can you ever really get used to pain?
Or do you just become numb and shut your senses off?
Ash is back and grabs my arm to steady me. “What hurts?”
“Everything,” I whisper, tears pricking my eyes.
Glancing over at him, through blurry eyes, concern lines his gaze as he looks me over. “You shouldn’t be feeling this much pain.” His voice is strained.
Noticing me watching him, he cups the back of my head and gently pulls me toward him, allowing me to rest my forehead on his stomach. “Just rest like this until Kathy comes.”
Even overwhelmed with pain, it doesn’t escape my notice that he’s on a first name basis with the doctor.
I take a deep breath through my nose, breathing in his scent, and it calms me, even easing some of the pain. Ash’s hand tangles into my hair as his fingers massage my scalp.
How could I doubt Ash’s intentions with me? Action speaks louder than words. He’s been taking care of me from the beginning. And it’s not like he was trying to be purposely deceitful.
But I’m so overwhelmed with everything.
I press a hand to my chest as an ache manifests. The monitor startles me, beeping loudly. Ash allows me to look up when the door opens.
A woman in a white lab coat with long blonde hair slicked back into a sleek ponytail strides in with two nurses in tow. “Hello, Ellie, I’m Dr. Kathy,” she says while putting gloves on. “Can you tell me where it hurts?”
“My head and back, and my chest feels tight. I’m also nauseous.”
Her eyes narrow on the screen behind me as she takes a step closer, her hands outreached. I involuntarily flinch back. She holds her hands up, palms facing me. “I’m just going to check your heart rate. Can I do that?”
Taking a deep breath, I nod. Ash’s hand falls to
the back of my neck, lightly squeezing. “I’ll be right here with you.”
Dr. Kathy uses her stethoscope on my wrist, her mouth silently moving as her gaze unfocuses.
She peers down at me after a moment. “Do you suffer from anxiety, Ellie?”
“I do.”
She steps away and removes her gloves. “You’ll need more pain meds, but I believe you also suffered a panic attack.”
I rub my forehead. “This was different from my past ones.”
She nods as if expecting my response. “Panic attacks don’t always manifest the same. But the signs this time were your high pulse, the tightening of your chest, and nauseousness.” Her gaze moves back to the heart monitor. “It seems you're doing better now. Are you still in any pain?” I nod and she turns to the nurses and rattles off a few instructions to them.
Once they leave, she turns back to Ash and me. “I’m having them bring me some pain meds for you. If these don’t work, the best I can do is give you a sedative to sleep through the worst of it.”
My eyes widen, I don’t want to be sedated. I don’t want to miss another five days. I want answers and time to wrap my head around everything.
Ash looks down at me and grabs my hand when he notices my petrified stare. “What is it?”
“I don’t want to go under.”
He squeezes my hand. “Then I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen.” He lowers himself until we’re eye-level. His eyes are so warm, despite the iciness to them. There’s a little furrow of worry between his eyes, and I have a strange desire to smooth it out.
“I can hear how fast your heart is racing, Ellie darling. Take a deep breath with me. In…and out.” We take a few more deep breaths together until my body relaxes. A relieved smile appears on his face. “That’s my girl. You’re going to be okay. I’m not going to leave you.”
I nod and tighten my grip on his hand. In this cold and sterile room, he’s my light and warmth.
His gaze moves to Dr. Kathy behind me.
“Ellie?” Dr. Kathy says. I look over my shoulder at her as one of the nurses begins to add something to my IV. “Do you normally burn through medicine fast?”
“What?”
“I needed to double your sedative and, to err on the side of caution, we doubled your pain meds. But now I’m tripling it.”
I glance between her, the nurses, and Ash. “That's not normal, right?”
She shakes her head. “It’s not.”
“Well, I’ve never been in a hospital before, so I couldn’t tell you.”
“Oh.” She looks down at her hands. “Take these,” she says and hands me two circular pills. “They are for the pain. I can’t give you anymore after this until later today.”
I turn for my water, but Ash is already there holding it out for me. I reach for it, but he doesn’t hand it to me. Side-eyeing him, I place the pills in my mouth as he brings the glass to my lips.
“I would give you anxiety medication if they worked instantly,” Dr. Kathy continues as I swallow the pills, “but they can take up to a month to begin working. Even then it might not work, and we’d have to try a different kind. Would you at least like me to prescribe something?”
I shake my head as Ash sets the water back on the table. “No, thank you.” I don’t plan on being here for a month, let alone two. I can’t try new drugs while on the run. Besides, I don’t have the money for this. “When can I leave? And how much is this going to cost?”
“I’d advise not leaving here for another week. As for the bills...” Her eyes cut to Ash behind me. “You’d have to talk to Ash about that. He insisted all expenses go through him.”
My head snaps to Ash and I grimace at the movement. “Why?”
“I’ll let you two discuss that in private,” Dr. Kathy says. “If you need anything else, just have Ash come get me or push this button on your bed.” She taps the side of the railing that’s attached to the bed and leaves, followed by the two nurses.
Ash sits down in the chair beside me again, keeping hold of my hand, slowly rubbing his thumb across the back of it. His gaze is unfocused as he stares at the sheets.
“Ash?”
He blinks and meets my gaze. “Yes?”
“Why are you paying for my stay?”
“Because I want to. It’s my fault you’re in this mess. Besides, I want to take care of you.”
“First of all, it wasn’t. Marcus was bound to catch up to me. You can’t pay for me. I don’t have insurance, and this hospital visit will cost a small fortune.”
“Money isn’t a problem for me.”
“So you’re rich?”
He chuckles. “I guess you could say that.”
I frown. “I still don’t want to take your money.”
“And you’re going to pay for it?”
My eyes widen. “I, um...” I can’t use Jane’s money. I know she would insist, but I can’t force her to pay for this when she’s already paid for so much.
He sighs. “I thought so. You don’t have the funds and I need to spend my money somehow, anyway. I have too much of it. Although I’d rather spend it by showering you with gifts than hospital bills, but I’ll take what I can get.” He gives me a half-smile with eyes full of mirth.
I let go of his hand to slightly smack him on the arm.
His smile grows as he grabs my hand back, placing a kiss on my knuckles. He lets his lips linger on my skin. His warm breath brushes across my knuckles as he asks, “Are you still mad at me?”
My heart aches at his puppy-dog eyes. I shake my head. “No. Just no more hiding things from me, okay?”
“Deal.”
There’s a light knock on the door, interrupting our conversation. It opens to reveal a petite woman, maybe in her mid-twenties, with pale skin and light-blonde hair styled in a long bob holding a tray.
She sets it down on the table next to me and turns it so it’s above my lap. She keeps her eyes downcast as she speaks. “I’m Alice. I’ll be handling all your meals while you’re here.” She takes off the lid of the meal, revealing chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and a cup of fruit. How am I supposed to eat all of this? “Would you like water, milk, or juice?”
“Water, please.”
Alice nods and accepts my water cup from Ash then leaves the room. When she comes back, she places the full cup next to my meal. She does all of this while avoiding my gaze. “Is there anything else you’d like?”
I shake my head, but realize she still isn’t looking at me. “No, I’m okay. Thank you.”
She nods again before rushing out the room.
“That was odd,” I say.
“She’s been conditioned to act a certain way.”
“What?” I rub my eyes.
He slumps in the chair, his solemn eyes focused on the closed door. “There’s a lot you still don’t know about lycans.”
My eyelids grow heavy and droop. “I would like to know more.” I fight back a yawn.
“You’re tired. We can talk more about this tomorrow. You also still need to tell me about Marcus.”
“I know.”
“Do you want to take a nap now or after you eat?”
“Now,” I respond.
Ash stands and moves the table away. I shift onto my side. The pain meds are in full effect. I cover my mouth as a yawn takes over my face. Ash grabs the remote to lower my bed until it’s almost completely flat. He steps away, but hesitates, his gaze moving from the bed, to the chair, to the door.
“What is it?” I ask sleepily.
He rubs both hands down his face. It’s the first sign he’s shown of his exhaustion. I take a closer look at him and notice blue crescents under his eyes, the haggard mess of his hair, and his grown out facial hair.
“I think you need to sleep as well,” I say.
He nods, but I can still see the conflict in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
His gaze bores into mine. “I don’t want to leave you.”
I quirk a brow. “I never said you had to.”
He frowns. “I don’t want to sleep in the chair again.”
“Then don’t.”
“Or the couch.”
“Okay.”
“I’m not sleeping on the floor, either.”
A grin blooms on my face as I hold back a laugh. “Then don’t.”
His eyes light up and a smirk appears on his face. “Are you saying I can sleep with you?”
Heat creeps up my face. “Well, when you put it that way. No, you can’t.”
He laughs, but moves closer. “Scoot over, I don’t want to hurt your back by sleeping behind you.”
I scoot my way back with a smile still in place.
He presses a few buttons on the remote and the lights dim. He climbs into the bed. It’s a tight fit, considering how tall he is, but it also feels right being so close to him. He shifts until he’s comfortable, one hand on my hip, the other under the pillow. I relish in his warm, solid body against mine, my hands pressed up against his chest.
“This is strange,” I murmur.
“How so?” he asks, his voice soft as he already begins to fall asleep.
“I don’t feel anxious right now.”
He hums. “Probably the pain meds kicking in, helping you relax.”
“You’ve also always been a wolf when we’ve done this in the past.”
His chest rumbles through my hands as he chuckles. “True, but it’s always been me.”
“It really has, hasn’t it?” I snuggle closer against him and it isn’t long before both of us are fast asleep.
“Thanks, Alice,” Ash whispers, but instead of us being on our sides like when we fell asleep, Ash is on his back, and I’m splayed across half his body. He has one arm wrapped around me, keeping me close, but avoiding my injuries.
I open my eyes to find the room still dark except for the blaring light coming from the slight crack in the open door. I watch Alice’s back as she retreats from the room and notice there’s a new tray of food on the moving table beside the bed.
“You’re awake.” Ash’s chest rumbles through me.
I nod, my face still pressed against his chest.
“Are you hungry? Do you want food? Water? More medicine?”
Saving Ellie (Lycans Book 1) Page 11