Without speaking or even daring to look down at her, I started taking the long strides I needed to get us both off the sand safely before the tide came in.
The moon had appeared again from behind a cloud and had once again offered the secluded beach a finite amount of light, but to me it felt like I was under a spotlight.
Everything I’d ever sworn not to do had just happened. I felt blissfully happy, but also so goddamned angry that I wanted to fall to my knees and purge myself.
My head was screaming at me to place her feet to the floor and to walk away. But my heart, my black incinerated heart was demanding that I held her in my arms and that I kept her there under my protection. Meanwhile, my eyes were now moving between making sure I walked a safe route back to the lit walkway and taking peeks at the woman I was holding in my arms, who was now my wife. Bee was tall and willowy in stature but curled up against me she felt small and so very vulnerable.
“You can’t have anything nice to play with, Nico. Because you can’t be trusted with her, you’ll damage her beyond repair and destroy her.”
My father’s voice reverberated around my head. I closed my eyes rapidly and firmly to silence the bastard.
I’d worked hard over what was almost ten years to pull my grandfather’s business out of the fucking cesspit my father had pulled it down into. In doing so, I’d pushed my family away to where I’d thought that they were safe until the tide could be turned again for us. I knew it was how it went with Mafia families like ours. You only had to research history to see that we could work side by side for a given length of time and then something would occur which meant the death and destruction of many. My father had been that catalyst and the bad blood and ultimately the power crazed fights that had followed his short reign had been like nothing ever witnessed before by the American people, even in New York.
Antonio Morello fit the bill as a violent, unhinged mafia boss, who cared for no one more than himself. He was a power hungry, sick, depraved asshole, who had taken many lives, including driving our mamma to her death. He had stolen money and grabbed hold of power in frenzied attacks that matched his psychotic disorder. He had abused his own children, making Cade and I take part in sexual acts with willing participants while he watched. The man got his rocks off controlling the lives of others and watching. The joke was he had delusions that made him think he carried himself well, he thought he wore clothes that concealed his evil heart and covered up the many sins he had committed against others and to us, his own family. He imagined that the expensive fabric of his suits showed everyone how powerful he was, but in reality, he had never looked good. He always had a look of sweaty mania about him. Our mamma had said that with his hunched over shoulders, his posture exposed to the world the weight of his sins. Her God, and supposedly his, had forced his tall frame into this position to carry those sins around on his back and no amount of expert tailoring nor expensive fabric could cover that up. Our father’s face filled my head and I blinked him out before he took fucking root in there. We looked alike, my father and I, and it didn’t matter how many times Nonna and Cade told me that was where the similarities ended, I didn’t believe them. They hadn’t witnessed what I’d had to do to ensure our survival in a primal world where only the strongest families survived and where the others were wiped out like the insignificant pieces of detritus they were.
I had killed with my bare hands to ensure their safety and it didn’t matter how many homeless shelters and drug rehabilitation clinics I funded, I knew I would never be able to wipe the bright red arterial blood of my enemies off my hands, nor erase their eyes as they bulged out of their skulls before their oxygen supply stopped flowing to their brain.
She thought she knew me, but I’d made sure over the years that no one really knew me.
I wasn’t sure I even knew myself anymore.
My father had created me, my mamma had borne and loved me. Then he had destroyed her and ultimately mine and Cade’s world, when she had hung herself to escape him. Then thinking he was a God to be worshipped above all others, instead of the devil incarnate, he had set about remoulding Cade and I into his exact image. I had made sure that Cade got away from him as soon as I could, but I knew that even now, after he’d been dead for many years, I would never be able to escape his clutches.
He had told me himself as my index finger had squeezed the trigger to take him from this life straight to hell where he belonged, that I would never be free of him and truthfully, it was the one thing I’d ever heard him say that I agreed with.
* * *
Without saying anything to her I carried her back to our home. The walkway ascended, zig zagging the hundred meters and more that separated it from my own private beach. Not once did I consider putting her down, because that would mean she had left my arms and I didn’t want to sever our connection before I had to.
Finally, we came up level with the outside patio where we had left our guests earlier and I stopped to readjust my hold on her. Glancing around the area I could see it had already been cleaned and emptied in the short time we’d been away. I looked around again quickly, nodding in acknowledgement as my eyes comprehended that the patio was devoid of people, apart from Franco.
The man was worth his weight in gold to me. He was always on hand, but knew just when to keep his distance and I knew without asking he wouldn’t have followed us down to the beach. He would have placed security on any access to the beach other than from my property, without any order from me. I nodded my head in thanks to him and saw him speaking into his mouthpiece as he let the rest of my security team know we were back in the building.
I walked in through the open, bi-folding doors and heard my shoes hitting the tiled floor and the grains of sand grinding underneath them as I strode purposefully on. I crossed through room after room until I reached where I’d been heading to. Without giving the pro’s and con’s any more thought, I’d taken the stairs that led up to the master bedroom two at a time. I tapped the closed door with the toe of my shoe and once we were safely inside, I kicked back making it close swiftly behind us with a loud, resounding click.
Bee didn’t even stir.
I took a deep breath and looked around the room we were going to be sharing from now on. Everything in it was familiar. The furniture, the smell of my cologne and the woman who had, I was certain, fallen asleep in my arms. I trod on the back of my Italian leather shoes, knowing I was effectively ruining them, and in my bare feet I walked over the wooden floor as quietly as I could and gently placed her down on the bed.
Once again, I fell down onto my knees and lifted my hands to tenderly brush the hair off her face. For minutes, I just stared at her and for no reason other than I could. In the moonlight that flooded into our room her hair shone like a precious metal. I pulled out all of the pearl pins I could see and placed them almost silently on the bedside cabinet next to me.
Walk away.
But like a love-struck kid I knew I couldn’t, so I stood up and still standing next to her while she slept in our bed, I shrugged myself out of my vest and allowed it to drop behind me. After releasing the cufflinks on my shirt, I placed them down on the cabinet next to the pins and then I slowly flicked open every button on my shirt. I knew I was removing my clothes like her eyes were on me and that I was undressing especially for her, even though she wasn’t watching. I abruptly pulled my shirt free of the waistband of my pants and stilled.
And just like that my little fantasy shrivelled.
The cold metal of my gun touched the small of my back and I was catapulted straight back into reality.
It was a reality that I knew I would spend the rest of my fucked-up life in, and there was no way in hell I was dragging anyone I could easily love into the depths of hell with me.
I leant over her with my loose shirt touching her beautiful skin and placed a kiss to her forehead. Then I pulled the dark green throw up from where it had been draped at the bottom of the bed and covered her up.
&nb
sp; With one further look in her direction, I walked away.
Chapter Twenty
Bee
The sound of running water woke me. A bright, sunny day hit my eyes and for a few seconds I closed them again to stop the sudden pain that the light had caused inside my head.
Why can I hear water?
I sat up in bed and ignoring the brightness of the new day, I looked around. Slowly, with sleep still clouding my mind, I took in the room, remembering just where I was and just who I was with. I quickly skimmed through my memories of yesterday and felt my face flush and my core tighten as I recollected the feel of his tongue on me and how hard I’d come after he’d sucked my clit into his mouth.
I looked down at myself quickly and saw I was still dressed in my wedding dress. Something didn’t make sense. The last thing I could recall was being carried in his arms back home up the long walkway from the beach.
Well that’s embarrassing. I’d got mine and had obviously passed out. I rolled my eyes up into my head and sighed out loud.
The water stopped suddenly and my heart began to beat frantically in my chest. Straining my ears for the slightest clue of what was happening in the room behind me, I heard the man in question as he vacated the ridiculously large walk in shower. Then the chrome towel rack rang out loudly as what I thought must have been one of Nico’s rings contacted against it. I finally heard his feet pad across the marble floored bathroom.
My head turned on instinct and I watched him walking into the bedroom knowing that I couldn’t have torn my eyes away from him even if I’d have tried. He was a vision. Still wet from the shower, I watched entranced as droplets of water ran down over his olive coloured skin, occasionally colliding with each other and conjoining to run even faster over and around his well-defined muscles. My mouth salivated with the need to trace their route with my tongue.
With a towel tied around his waist, he rubbed a smaller one over his wet hair which meant that his face was obscured from my view. Knowing he couldn’t see me looking I stared at him even harder. When he suddenly stopped rubbing at his hair, I knew without a doubt he could feel my eyes boring into him. My eyes found his the moment he dropped the towel in his hand to the ground.
A smile that I wasn’t expecting lit up his face.
‘Buongiorno,’ he offered.
‘Morning…look I’m really sorry about last night.’ I gesticulated around me and touched the skirt of my dress attempting to show him how mortified I was at having so obviously fallen asleep fully clothed.
Nico dropped the towel from his waist as he turned his back on me and as I took in the naked body of my husband for the first time, I felt my mouth fall slackly open. He was amazing, just beautiful to look at. He reminded me of a statue, the sort you could see at all historical places. Every single muscle on the man was taut and in perfect condition. But luckily, I already knew that there was where the similarities ended between him and the statues I’d giggled at as a child back in the U.K. His cock was far bigger than they depicted in the statues, I’d felt the size of it yesterday when he pressed it firmly into my body. I stared at him harder willing him to turn around.
‘Don’t be sorry, I enjoyed myself and you were undoubtedly tired,’ he replied and thankfully broke me away from any further musings about his cock before my body spontaneously combusted.
I watched as he thrust both of his legs into some smart Chino shorts and then as he jumped slightly to pull them over his butt cheeks to fasten them. I made sure I closed my mouth before he turned back to face me.
‘You need to be ready in one hour, can you do that, Bee?’ He looked over his shoulder at me.
‘What for?’ I questioned, still feeling sleepy.
‘I’ve made some arrangements this morning, there are places I want to show you around the island and although we can drive to them all in a day, it’s better if we stay in a couple of the places as it’ll be more relaxed for us all.’
Nico walked down the side of the large bed and picked up his wristwatch, which was on the low table in front of the couch that looked out of our large window and onto the balcony. For the first time, I understood that he had spent the night on the couch when I saw that the bed was neat beside me and that blankets were strewn on the floor next to the low table.
Slowly, he began to fasten his watch and then turned back to me when I didn’t answer immediately.
‘For us all?’ I questioned.
‘You, Trip, Kendall and me… they’ll be here in an hour.’
‘Did they not all stay here last night?’
‘No…’ He looked at me amused. ‘It was our wedding night, remember?’
‘Again, I’m sorry,’ I offered, feeling sheepish and wondering if somehow he was punishing me for falling asleep with some sort of mind fuckery.
‘Don’t be. It was my grandmother who planned that they would all spend the night away from here, not me.’
Not him?
‘Why would she do that and not you?’ was all I managed to ask, when there was so much more going around my head that I needed an answer to.
‘There was no need, was there?’ For a few seconds the room fell uncomfortably silent as we looked at each other. ‘I didn’t see the point in making sure we had privacy, because I knew we wouldn’t be needing it.’ I could feel my face contorting into a puzzled expression at his words and pain began to unravel inside of me. The room was so full of things that needed to be aired it was almost stifling.
Why is he being so distant?
Very gingerly I held out my hand to him. I saw him look at it once or maybe even twice before his shutters came down and everything that had happened between us yesterday evening was pushed so far into the past it was unreachable.
‘Why won’t you touch me?’ The words left my mouth and even I was stunned I’d had the balls to ask. I refused to drop my arm, even though it was beginning to ache.
His long eyelashes closed as he tried to erase the question. When he opened his eyes again, I was still in the same position offering him my hand.
‘You just don’t get it, do you?’ He almost spat the words out and hearing the Italian accent back in his tone I readied myself for what was to come next.
I couldn’t answer him, my throat was tight with the constriction of the emotion I was just about managing to keep a lid on.
‘These hands.’ He lifted his hands and stared down at his palms as if he could see something on them. ‘They’ve taken lives… stopped hearts from beating. I refuse to taint your skin with them.’
Oh God!
‘But, Nico… you don’t understand… if I don’t feel your touch on me, you inside of me… then my heart will stop beating and you will have effectively killed me too.’
Silent tears began to run down my cheeks.
I kept my eyes on his so he could experience my pain, but his feet remained fixed to the spot. I knew then that he one hundred percent believed the words he had just spoken, and I could see that nothing I could say or do in this brief moment in time would convince him otherwise. Once again Nico cleared his throat and I knew the moment was over. He started moving around the large space to break our connection. I wanted to hide under the blanket that was still draped over my legs, but I refused to let him off the hook that easily. I wanted him to feel the strength of my presence, and if possible to experience my pain.
He pulled on an emerald green, round necked T-shirt and although I could see by the small design on his chest that it was an expensive designer one, I knew I’d never seen him dressed so casually, it appeared he was totally prepared for his role. This was a man who was well practised at shelving his emotions and carrying on like nothing had happened.
‘You need to pack enough for about four days and don’t forget your camera, because while we’re gone, I’m having you a dark room built.’
‘Okay… You are?’ I replied, feeling knocked off kilter. It seemed the man took away with one hand and gave with the other. Feeling completely discombobul
ated I bent my knees and holding them to me, I wrapped my wedding dress over the top of them. The cold metal of the dragonfly pin he had given me for our wedding day touched the warm skin of my leg and I wondered if all of yesterday had actually happened.
But of course it had, and now Nico was once again backing off.
‘I forgot to say thank you for my wedding present.’
Without putting any product on his hair, I watched as he casually ran his hand through it a few times and left it standing on end in various places. He put on the Aviators I had seen hung on his vest yesterday when we’d married, then pushing them up the bridge of his nose he looked back at me.
‘Sorry?’
‘The dragonfly pin, it’s beautiful and really thoughtful.’
‘That was Nonna’s idea.’
His façade was once again well and truly back in place.
‘It was?... She said it came from you.’
He shrugged his shoulders at me, ‘Anyway, I’ll leave you to get ready.’
‘Thanks, I think,’ I quietly replied.
‘I thought it would be fun spending a few days with Trip and Kendall. Bruce is staying with Nonna and Pearl and it’ll just be the four of us,’ he added, holding onto the door handle as he looked back at me.
‘It sounds like you have it all planned out,’ I accused.
‘I do,’ he answered, before he thought twice and crossed the floor to my side of the bed and placed a quick kiss to the top of my head.
He turned once again to walk towards the door, slowing to pick up his gun. Watching him, I could tell by the way he placed it into his waistband at the back of his shorts, and swung his holdall high over his shoulder, just how pleased he was with how his first business meeting of the morning had gone.
Brash Boss Page 13