Pulling me into the men's changing rooms, his lips find mine and he takes me in a kiss so hard and so full of passion that I think I’m going to pass out! Everything starts to fade to black and stars dance in my orbit as his hands hold me deep into him. His tongue taking mine, his lips crushing into my own and the sweet taste of blood dances on the tip of my tongue from the force. I feel my knees buckle and he pulls me up and into him.
“You can't do this to me,” my voice foreign to my ears.
His hand snakes around my waist, the other in my hair. “Why not babe? I told you I would.”
I want to punch him for being so right and so damn hot standing there with me mere inches from his lips.
“Two minutes.” I rasp out, his eyes snap from mine and land on my lips.
“Fuck babe you’re so sexy.”
His hands leave my body and I fall slightly back against the sink, my hand finding the cold porcelain. All I can do is just watch him, his hands running through his hair standing in front of me like a God.
Closing my eyes, my mind runs wild, my body on fire.
“I actually can't believe this is happening.” My voice dripping with longing and I hate the sound.
“Well, babe believe it and I'm not going anywhere.”
Taking in a breath I need to leave.
“I gotta go.” I push out through parted lips.
His hand reaches out and grabs mine linking our fingers, pulling me back and into him, my back hitting his chest, his heat engulfing me.
I melt back into him, hating the effect he has on me.
“Babe trust me okay; I won't hurt you.”
Closing my eyes, I squeeze his hand while my other hand finds his thigh, running my nails over the massive muscle. Bad thoughts of my body under him, those thighs holding his weight as he drives his cock deep into me, flash through my mind. I feel heat creeping up my neck and kissing the pale flesh of my skin.
“I want to baby, I really fucking want to, I have so much to lose.” My voice is desperate.
“It's not a game to me, aye.” As I open my eyes I am meet by his intense glaze.
Nodding, I step from his embrace and instantly I feel alone.
“I mean it babe, let me love you.”
Fucken hell! What the hell do I do?
“What do you want from me Brax?” I cry out to him. Pleading for answers.
Spinning on my feet so my ice blue eyes are meeting whiskey.
“You, just you babe! That’s it, all of you too. I have for so long now, just simply wanted you.” His tone is firm, he’s stating his claim and want for me.
I scoff at the comment.
“Well, we will see.”
Stepping from his weighted stare full of unsaid promises and unleashed desire, I grab my boy and flee before I can even think about changing my mind and running off with this man and saying fuck it to life and destroying all that I have ever known, all that my kids have ever known.
Because you see this man was everything I had ever wanted, and I couldn't keep him without destroying both of our lives.
My fingers find my lips running softly along where his kiss was, the heat that is sitting on them reminds me of the unsaid promise that was laced in a kiss that had me seeing stars for the first time in my life. Just one kiss had me weak and falling apart questioning all the kisses my lips had had before this one.
CHAPTER TWELVE
That night…
On the phone to him, his voice lulling a false sense of peace through my body as my mind swims with doubt...
“I’m scared.” I admit to him as tears run down my reddened cheeks, the night air cool on them as I sit on the deck. The phone pushed hard to my ear; as if I push it hard enough, I can feel him.
“Me too. I'm scared because there is nothing in this world that I want to fight more for than you and I don’t know how, I don’t know how I am going to keep you when you’re not mine to have.”
His voice cracks and for the first time since all this happened, I feel it, his pain for what he has done. He says it all the time that he doesn’t wanna make me cheat but he already has, I already have just by talking to him.
“We need to meet up babe,” he whispers.
My heart is thumping so hard that I can hear it a mile off.
“I know, after today and having your taste on my lips and now as we speak, your smell intoxicating me as everything about you runs through my mind, I need to see you but I don’t wanna hurt baby, I don’t wanna hurt you, him, my kids or myself and I know that you will hurt me.”
“Miley, I'm not going to hurt you, all I wanna do is love you and holding you today, having you that close that your scent is now on my clothes, makes me wanna fight even more for you.”
Looking out over the farm land that surrounds me, the dark night seeping into my bones I take a deep breath.
“Tomorrow how about tomorrow?”
“What time can you get here babe?”
“9:30am.” I breathe out, fear and excitement washing through me.
“Deal, I’ll text you my address. Pick me up, there's somewhere I wanna take you,” he clearly replies to me, oozing confidence that my body doesn’t possess.
“Okay.” Is all my brain can form.
“Sweet baby, now sleep and don’t cry, don’t worry I got you, trust me baby.”
“Okay, I will try. You’re a sin baby and it’s blowing my world apart.”
“Baby all good things are just that-sinful and delicious.”
With that he breathes, “I will always catch you.”
Before I can answer he hangs up and I'm left sitting there with nothing but the darkness and the sounds of the night around me as my heart hums inside my chest.
All I want is for him to stay. To save me more from myself than him. He takes me so far away that I just don't know where I am anymore.
The Snapchat sound goes off pulling me from my thoughts
Him: All I want is you lying next to me baby. xx
That is at 12am, I run my fingers over the screen trying to feel the depth of his words, I need to know if he's real.
Tomorrow will tell.
Me: I have a crush on you and you’re all I think about, so I wish I was lying with you also, you pull me in baby and I can't get you off my mind.
Watching the screen, it says Brax is typing….
Him: Sleep baby and dream, dream of me and I will dream of you.
Me: Goodnight.
Is all I type back, sleep is needed for tomorrow we will find out if loving him is really what I need to do or is it an illusion of what my brain thinks I need.
***
Me: Morning babe, dreamed of you last night.
Is the snap I send as soon as my feet hit the bedroom floor. He’s the last thought at night and my first thought in the morning.
Him: Morning babe, same.
Me: Shit babe, you’re up early
He’s never up this early.
Him: Well yep, got a hot date today.
I laugh flicking on the jug.
Me: Do you now?
Him: Yep, I sure do. There’s this chick and she’s a fucking babe coming to hang.
A school girl smile creeps over my face, my heart does back flips and my stomach knots, he’s so fucking amazing.
Me: Oh yeah, lucky lady aye.
Him: Fuck no! Lucky me, she’s way above my pay grade.
Shaking my head as I get the kids’ breakfast ready.
Me: Oh yeah.
Him: Yeah babe you know it's true you’re banging.
Me: Thanks babe just going to get the kids ready for the bus.
Him: Sweet babe text me when you’re leaving.
Me: Sure, fucking will baby cakes.
***
Walking back into my house after the school drop off, I do the dishes and my mind travels to just what today could mean to me and to him. What will he want to do? Fuck it's like going on a first date and all the heavy anticipation of what is expected!
>
9am rolls around and my phone lights up.
Him: You ready babe.
Me: Fuck no……
I head over to grab a water from the fridge.
Me: Just getting in the car.
I fire back when he doesn't answer me.
Grabbing my keys and my work out bag, water and coffee I jump in my car. Hands snake around the steering wheel as I take in some massive lungfuls of air.
Him: Can't wait to see you babe.
Me: Fuck, I’m like so nervous babe.
It’s the truth peeking out.
Him: Don’t be babe, it's just me.
Me: Yeah exactly, it's you and I’m me.
Him: Babes chill, it's algoods it will be fine.
Me: Okay.
Him: Text me babe when you're outside my place, you better not text and drive.
He bosses me and I love it, the sense of power, care and worry sends shivers over me.
Driving the forty-five minutes to his place was the most insane drive of my life, I was shaking the whole time.
Pulling up outside his place I fire a text off.
Me: I’m here babe.
Squeezing my hands over my steering wheel, anchoring myself to the now and willing my mind to calm the fuck down. Before I know it, the door is open and his massive frame is taking up the passenger side of my car.
“Hey babe.” His gravely voice shoots straight to my core, his hand finds the side of my face and turns my head slightly, his eyes meet mine.
“Hey you.” My soft voice barely there.
His lips meet mine and fireworks goes off throughout my body, my eyes flicker open and find he’s staring at me. His lips don’t leave mine, slowly— so slowly his hand moves down to the nape of my neck and holds me tight in place as his tongue really takes flight exploring my mouth, mine mixing with his dancing together, pure ecstasy in one kiss.
The car fills with a thick sexual blanket and I need to take a breath, this man is too much fucking everything for me. He makes me weak when I need to be strong, before I know it his hands are in my hair, his tongue is running along the side of my jaw and his breath, his sweet coffee laced breath is hitting my ear, “Just drive babe,” he whispers in my ear sending fireflies through me, heating my cold soul from the inside out.
Fuck me, I am beyond fucked.
Sometimes beneath the sweetest secrets are the most deceptive lies and he, this, us is one of those times. His grip releases and travels down to my thigh. His fingers snake around and rest on the inside of it, the touch so hot and sinful it has me wet.
Putting my car into drive I pull out of his street and head down the road wherever he tells me to go, turn right, left, right, straight through, left here, right there pulling into MacDonald's.
“Hit the drive thru babe.” His eyes never leaving mine from the minute we pulled from his house.
“Mmm kkk.” My cheeks heat, I can feel the heat creeping over my skin.
“Grab us two large cappuccinos. What's the passcode to ya phone?” I look at him like, okay really random question out of nowhere. He’s so casual and carefree “Babe, lines moved. Passcode.”
Far out he's so seducing and hot.
“It's an L.” I stammer out as the lady asks for my order.
“Sweet, well ya wanna change that to something not so obvious babe?”
Fuck me, I mummer “Righto... but why is that obvious?” I ask him looking into his eyes as he smiles at me.
“Babe fuck everyone including kids use the L it's so simple, easy to remember. I have a pin.”
He breathes out as he leans in and kisses my cheek. My body hums and I feel the heat creep over my cheeks. The sound of the lady in the intercom has me leaning slightly out the open window.
“Two large cappuccinos please.” I breathe out welcoming the gust of wind that just blew in, it hit my hot cheeks fanning them with a welcome cool.
“Drive thru when ready,” the lady says, pulling me back to now.
Driving up I pay and grab the coffees, passing one to him. He brings the cup to his lips and winks at me. Not even watching where we are, he just says.
“Right, then hit a left, take it all the way out to a roundabout, hit that with a left and follow the road all the way out to the river baby girl.”
“Okay.” Is all I can pull from my amped up nerves and humming body. Pulling out, Brax scrolls through my playlist and plays Boo’d up by Ella Mai. His fingers link with mine pulling them to his mouth and kissing them, sending a shock wave through me. My eyes quickly snap to his and he winks at me again and fuck me sideways mate, it's a sexy wink. He starts to sing the lyrics to the song, and I call on all my strength to not take his mouth and fuck it with my tongue in that moment, as weird as it sounds, he's the most fucking beautiful thing I have seen. Together we are going to be perfectly reckless I can feel it, sense it in his voice; he sees me, sees me for the person I am, not the shell I was before he came along.
Pulling my eyes away from his molten stare and back to the road, it’s about fifteen minutes later and we are pulling into the road that leads us down to a stunning river with banks of the brightest green grass and picnic tables, a small park with swings and slides.
The water is a brilliant shade of deep green looking so inviting.
“Wanna go sit by the water babe, I need to get you out of this car so I can touch you.”
This is crazy, placing my now shaking hand on the door handle I nod grabbing my coffee and stepping from my car. Before I know it and can even lock the car, his arms are around me, his lips on my neck kissing the skin below my collar bone and he lifts me up like I weigh nothing into the air, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as a wave of laughter leaves me. He’s surprising and I love it. He walks with great ease down to the river edge stopping. He leans in close, so close to my breast area his face buries between my cleavage and he breathes in deep like he's sucking me into his soul and I feel it, feel like I am wrapped around the DNA in his body, becoming one.
“And for the record babe you're the only girl I want in my arms,” he tilts his head up to meet my eyes. “It will always be you.”
Sliding down his body, his grip loosens.
“Don't make promises you can't keep.” I find my hand moving up his chest feeling his rock-hard physique under such thin cotton not leaving much for the imagination.
“I don't break promises babe.” Pulling me down into his arms on the grass, sitting between his legs, my head resting on his chest.
“Haven't broken one yet.” He brings his coffee up to his mouth.
“That you haven't.” Taking a sip of my coffee, a welcome taste to my rather dry mouth.
“I'd fight for you, aye.” His voice is soft and floats on the wind around me closing my eyes.
“Well, you don't have to, let's not step too fast.” Turning myself in arms, placing my cup down he does the same and his hands lace around my back. He pulls up and lays me down and his body straddles over mine blocking the sun from my eyes. His forehead leaning down toward mine as his hair falls over his eyes and around his face, its longish short cut sits just below his ears, styled and sexy jet-black color really makes his whiskey eyes pop.
“You know I'm not sorry I kissed you babe, but I'm sorry I kissed you when you weren't mine to kiss, so now I will fight to make you mine.”
I watch him watch my lips; his gaze is full of such need. He’s so comfortable in his skin, so in control and sexual the way he looks, talks, walks, fucking breathes, it is sinful.
I’m such a private creature when it comes to lust, love and sexual emotions, I have never had anyone really pull out more in me and he does and I don't know what to do. This setting- so intimate, so sexual, he's pulling me out and baring me to the world, making me push past all my limits and scratching at the walls I had put up so high and thick. It's beautiful and terrifying at the same time.
“Don't be afraid babe and don't overthink it, I can see it running through ya eyes.”
&
nbsp; His voice is gritty and seductive, laced with desire that has my thighs clenching.
“It's so different over the phone and through messages. Real life is a bit overwhelming; I don't think I can be what you think I am.” I rush out blowing nerves and doubts out in a gush of air and fear.
My words just fly from my mouth, my body tightens as his stare deepens and his brows furrow.
“You’re more than I ever expected I could ever have.”
His head lowers his mouth so close to mine touching but not touching, his breath hot on them, his eyes searching mine.
“Breathe baby and let me show you just how fucking beautiful we can be.”
Fucking swooning, I tell ya if I wasn't already lying down, I would have fallen, fainted, passed the fuck out and become a jelly mess at his feet.
“Do you wanna practice kissing?”
I couldn't help it, I laughed. A smile cracked over his face, “Well?” raising his eyebrows into an arch.
“You’re serious?” Questioning him I shuffle up the grass under him so I can see more of his face and look deeper into his eyes. I have never been able to do eye contact with anyone and with him it's like I could stare into his eyes forever and never want to look away.
He lowers his body deeper into mine pushing me softly into the pillow like grass below me.
“Fucking aye I am babe.” He lowers his head into me as his hair falls slightly over his face, my hands go up and I tuck the stray hair back behind his ear. He leans slightly into my touch and it’s them, those small things that have my breath catching in my lungs. He takes all my oxygen from me and that's ok because it's like I don't need it when I am with him. His lips graze over mine from left, right and back again. Slowly, so slowly that I feel the anticipation building inside my core, my thighs clench as my eyes flutter close.
His kiss begins painfully slow, teasing and seducing, then he deepens it, parting my lips slightly it begins to intensify, and my arms go up around him. Clinging to him, pulling him down into me, locking around him needing him to hold me down as the world arounds me begins to spin. His insistent mouth parting my quivering lips further open, sending wild tremors along all of my nerve endings that are on fucking fire; evoking sensations I never knew I was capable of feeling.
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