“What in the world have you done now, Grumbo?” she asked, adjusting her half moon spectacles and peering at them.
“It’s not my fault, Nanny!” declared Grumbo, aggrieved.
“Nonsense!” retorted Nanny briskly. “Of course it is. Percy would never think of such a thing, and neither would Rhodri. You’re always so impetuous, Grumbo! Percy dear, do stop pouring that oil everywhere,”
“Sorry, Nanny,” said Percy, “only we couldn’t think of any other way to get their beards unstuck.”
“The bow machine went on the blink. I was only trying to mend it,” muttered Grumbo.
“Well oil won’t work,” stated Nanny, firmly. “I’ll just have to give your beards a trim with my mending scissors.” With that, she removed an enormous pair of scissors from her apron pocket and advanced towards the pair. Grumbo and Rhodri shrank back nervously. There was a look of anguish on their faces.“Don’t be so ridiculous,” said Nanny, “it won’t hurt you!”
Seconds later two large chunks of beard lay glued together on the floor and a rather odd looking Rhodri and Grumbo were looking at each other, each wondering if he looked as foolish as the other did. Percy bit his lip.
“Nanny!” said Grumbo in a tone of sheer desperation, “it’s nearly Christmas day! We can’t do deliveries with only half a beard!”
“Now, now now, you’re being thoroughly silly again, Grumbo. You could do deliveries without any beard at all if you weren’t so vain. Now go and get washed while I deal with these. You all look quite disgraceful. When you’re tidy, and not before, mind, you may come to my room.” Picking up the oily bits of beard, Nanny left.
*****
A short time later the three of them knocked on Nanny’s door. Rhodri and Grumbo, who had been able to change their clothes, were now looking almost normal apart from their strangely ragged beards. Poor Percy, however, was still festooned with ribbons, though as no-one seemed to notice anything odd about him, he felt quite happy. Grumbo and Rhodri could not say the same – they had both walked down the corridors with heads bent, trying to conceal their beards, pretending they were lost in thought when any other FC passed by.
“Ah, there you are,” said Nanny. “Percy, there is a set of clean clothes waiting for you in the other room. Off you go and get changed.” She waved him through a small door to her right. “Now, Rhodri first,” she announced. “You can wait, Grumbo,” and she produced the remains of the two beards, now washed clean and sparkling, plus a needle and white cotton. “Sit still,” she instructed. Rhodri dutifully obeyed, though his knuckles gripping the chair showed white.
Tipping his head up and adjusting her spectacles, Nanny peered down at the remaining beard. Then she selected one of the pieces, and holding it in place, began to sew rapidly. As she was snipping the last thread, Percy came shyly back into the room in his new clothes, carrying his sooty beribboned pyjamas in his hand. Nanny looked him up and down, critically.
“You’ll do,” she said. “Just leave those old pyjamas with me. Now, Rhodri, take Percy off to Toy Testing while I deal with Grumbo.”
Rhodri looked down at his newly sewn on beard, and a smile spread over his face:
“Thanks, Nanny!” he said in a tone of great relief. “Come on, Percy!”
“Now you!” declared Nanny, as the other two left the room. “Grumbo, I hardly know what to say to you! How old are you now? 225 isn’t it? Really! The older you get the less sense you seem to have. “
“Yes, Nanny,” said Grumbo, meekly. Then he looked up at her, a twinkle spreading across his eyes. “We had fun though! Percy needed some fun.”
“Yes,” said Nanny reflectively. “He did. But you shouldn’t have involved poor Rhodri. You know how anxious he is.”
“Yes, he’s even afraid of Father Gerbil,” agreed Grumbo. “I’m sorry about that. Things just got out of hand.”
“That was because you were letting yourself get carried away again without thinking of the consequences. Though,” she added, “if truth be told I suspect Father Gerbil will actually quite enjoy repairing the bow machine, though he will never say so. Well, we’ll say no more about it. How is young Rudolph these days? Are you making sure he takes his Reinitin?”
“He’s fine,” declared Grumbo, “just so long as I let him do vertical twirls and fly upside down now and then. He really enjoyed showing off to Percy.” He lifted his chin to allow Nanny to start sewing.
Chapter 10 – Practical Jokes
“Getting on with old Grumbo alright?” asked Rhodri as he and Percy hastened down yet more corridors.
“Yes, thanks,” replied Percy, politely.
“What about that mad reindeer of his, Rudolph?”
“Oh, he’s fun,” said Percy, “only a bit scary sometimes!”
“Got himself a bit of a reputation, that one,” said Rhodri, “but he seems to have settled down since Grumbo took him on.”
“They seemed to get a bit grumpy with each other sometimes, but I don’t think they mean it,” said Percy, thoughtfully.
“That’s just their way,” replied Rhodri. “They’d do anything for one another. They’re always getting each other out of scrapes.” He paused before a tall thin wooden door. “Here we are,” he said.
By now, Percy was getting quite used to the idea that what lay on the other side of a door might bear no resemblance to whatever he had imagined, but the Toy Testing section took even him by surprise. It was enormous! It was also very very noisy. Gales of laughter from hundreds of Father Christmases echoed through the room. It was as if all the toy sections from every department store or toyshop in the country had all been put together into one huge cave and the spaces filled up with a myriad Santa Clauses.
“Hi, Rhodri!” called a voice above them. “Come and have a go on this! It’s tremendous!” As he spoke, the speaker sailed high into the air and came down with a thud on a small trampoline just by Percy. “It’s called the Obstacle Bounce – came in on Tuesday. We’ve got to find out how long it goes before it wears out, but it’s going as well as ever and we’ve been working it all day every day.” He scrambled off the trampoline and came over to them.
“Hi Tingle,” said Rhodri. “What’s it supposed to do? - This is Percy, by the way.”
“Cheers Perce,” responded Tingle, slapping them both on the back in welcome and guiding them to the far side of the room. “You get in here, and you have to get through the obstacle course to the trampoline without letting any of the balls loose. If you touch anything you shouldn’t or release more than three balls you drop into a black pit in the middle.” He waved a hand towards a short ladder beside an opening in a kind of tent. “Have a go!”
Toy Testing
“Would you like to go first, Percy?” Rhodri asked, politely.
Percy needed no further encouragement. He was up the ladder in a trice.
Inside the tent the light was just a red glow. Percy blinked as his eyes accustomed themselves to the semi darkness. He could make out a row of silver balls of about the size you use for tennis lined up on his right, in a funnel. Before them was a maze of channels, some leading straight into a large black hole in the centre and some skirting the edge or spiralling around it. Because there were gaps in the inflatable walls that lined these channels if any ball rolled, it risked falling towards the hole. It was rather like the sort of plastic maze that you sometimes find in Christmas crackers with ball bearings in, but on a giant scale. Still, thought Percy, the balls weren’t moving, so it should be easy to get across to the other side where the opening to the trampoline was.
He stepped forward. Suddenly the whole surface tipped and Percy found himself lying on his back while a bell swung to and fro clanging above him and the first ball zoomed around a spiral leading down to the horrible hole. Cautiously, he sat up holding carefully to the sides. The floor rocked and swayed beneath him. A second ball edged loose from the funnel and dribbled half way a
round the upper channel before falling back a metre and stopping.
Percy considered his position. Any movement he made would tip the floor and start the balls rolling. He could try just dashing very quickly over to the other side and hope to get out before the balls fell, or he could try to move the balls to a safer place first. He sat very still and thought. It was probably too far to run across in time. His best chance lay in getting the balls into a safe position. There was an ‘L’ shaped channel with a dead end on one side not far from where the second ball had come to rest. If he could trap them all in that and then walk around the outside edge on that side his weight would mean that if they rolled out they should fall away from the hole, not towards it. On the other hand, if he walked on the inside edge he would be at the bottom of the ‘L’ and none should fall out at all…but what if he fell into the horrible hole? What was in the hole anyway, wondered Percy?
Cautiously he moved one hand out and tapped the surface in front of him. The balls in the funnel jostled one another, but didn’t roll out. Percy tapped harder. One ball rolled out slowly. Percy watched it, holding his breath. It slid to the side of the channel and then began to roll downhill. Percy bit his lip. “Stop!” he said to it silently, “Please stop!” The ball slithered to the other side and then slowly halted, caught in a small hollow. Percy looked across. The first ball was rolling backwards! It was going to join the other one.
Just as they clanged together, deepening the depression Percy noticed something hanging from above. It was dangling high above the two balls. It looked like just any old strip of metal, but suddenly Percy noticed that as it swung above the balls, they moved just slightly side to side with it. Inspiration struck him! The metal pendulum thing was magnetic!Maybe he could use it to draw the balls to where he wanted them! The trouble was, he couldn’t quite reach it without moving and if he moved, the floor would tip….Percy thought hard. Cautiously, trying not to move too much, he felt in his pockets in case there was anything that might help. It was no good. They were empty.
Percy looked around for more ideas. Then his eyes fell on the trainers Nanny Christmas had provided. They were the old fashioned sort with laces in. Very gently he moved one leg, bending his knee until he could just reach his foot. Slowly with care not to jog the floor, he took out the laces and removed one sock. Then he did the same with the other foot.
Rolling the first sock into a ball he took aim and tossed it into the channel by the two balls to block it. It fitted the down channel rather well, considered Percy, but would it hold if both balls rolled heavily against it? Still, it was a start.
Tying the two laces together to make one long one, he fastened one end to part of the second sock, rolled it up, and holding the other end, he threw upwards towards the pendulum.
It missed.
Percy dragged the lace tied sock back and tried again.
This time the sock hit the bar of metal, making it swing violently. The balls rolled to and fro. Percy held his breath. If only they didn’t dislodge the first sock and roll down the horrible hole!
Slowly the magnetic pendulum stopped oscillating, and the balls settled down. Percy let out a sigh of relief and threw once more, aiming just a bit higher.
The sock flew into the air just above and beyond the magnet and then flirted back to him as it reached the limit of the lace. “Yes!” breathed Percy to himself.The shoelace was now looped around the string holding the magnet!
Holding both the ends of the laces, Percy carefully pulled the magnet towards himself. He was just about to reach out for it with his hand when he suddenly remembered that Tingle had said: ‘If you touch anything you shouldn’t…’ – Was this something he shouldn’t touch? What did ‘touch’ actually mean ? Did holding it with the shoes laces count? Percy hesitated.
As he did so, there was a thump from somewhere underneath and Tingle’s voice called: “Come on, Perce! You’ve been ages! Hurry up – Grumbo’s here and he wants a go!”
Startled, his concentration broken, Percy let slip one end of the laces. The magnetic bar lurched away, swinging violently and turning round and round and upside down. The floor rose and sank, the bell clanged and balls rolled everywhere. Percy groaned in frustration! The magnetic pendulum was now twirling upside down right over the horrible hole!
Then he looked again….and again – the balls hadn’t fallen in! They were swirling round and round just above the hole, but they weren’t falling. Percy was puzzled. Why weren’t they falling?
He stared at the pendulum and the circling balls. Then his face cleared. Of course! The pendulum and the balls were magnetic! When the bar turned upside down it would repel instead of attract, so the balls were all being pushed away from the middle where the horrible hole was! They couldn’t fall in so long as the magnet stayed there. Quickly Percy grabbed his shoes and socks and ran barefoot across the undulating floor to the hole by the trampoline and jumped out. Bouncing off, he turned to the waiting Father Christmases:
“Your turn, Grumbo,” he said, nonchalantly.
“Wow!” remarked Rhodri in admiration. “You only dropped one! Tingle said everyone falls into the black hole first time round.”
“How did you do it?” asked Tingle, curiously.
“Easy,” said Percy, grinning. “I used my shoelaces.”
“Yes, but how?” Tingle persisted.
“Here comes Grumbo!” announced Rhodri as the bell rang followed by a huge slurping splashing noise from under the tent as a very wet and grimy Grumbo clambered heavily out of the tank of dark green slime underneath.
“I wondered what was in the horrible hole,” remarked Percy.
“Well now you know,” said Grumbo, shaking his beard and emptying a slithery puddle of slime out of his left wellington boot.
“Mind out!” said Tingle, jumping to one side. “That nearly went on my leg!”
“Have a towel,” offered Rhodri, passing it to Grumbo. “Did the rope break?”
“What rope,” growled Grumbo, rubbing vigorously.
“Well, Tingle said there was a rope you can use to swing across by so that you don’t tip the floor?”
“No rope when I was there,” stated Grumbo. “Just a bit of string with an iron bar on the end. It wouldn’t have supported a squirrel.”
“I didn’t see a rope either,” said Percy.
“Tingle!” said Grumbo and Rhodri simultaneously.
“Well, it was a bit too easy before,” said Tingle, defensively. “You wanted a challenge, didn’t you?”
“Do you want to try the new Spider-wars game?” asked Rhodri hastily, turning to Percy, as Tingle fled down the room hotly pursued by a squelching Grumbo wearing one wellington and waving the other with ferocious intent.
“You choose the kind of web you want and then aim at a suitable corner,” explained Rhodri, “-like this.” He pressed the trigger on the web-maker gun.From out of the nozzle came a fine thread that flew against the wall and stuck there. Rhodri moved the lever from side to side and round and round, and as he did so a fine spider web appeared on the wall.
“It looks real!” said Percy, admiringly.
“Wait a moment for it to set properly and then you can put one of these on.”Rhodri selected a large hairy spider with glowing red eyes from a box before them.“Now,” he added, passing a small control box with several buttons on to Percy, “you take that one.”
Rhodri then created a second web, this time providing it with a green eyed spider with hugely long thin legs. “The idea is that you have to try and capture your opponent’s web,” he explained. “The box is a remote control for your spider. The side levers move it left right and up and down, but if you press the middle button it can make a web itself to trap any other spider. “
Percy pressed the left button. The red eyed spider moved menacingly across the web towards Rhodri’s green eyed one. Rhodri moved his forward. Percy was very close now! Suddenly
the green eyed spider fired a stream of thread between the two webs and began to move across! Percy’s spider moved in to do battle. Percy pressed the middle button. Thread flew out towards the green eyed spider, but it was too low. Rhodri dodged and entered Percy’s web, circling behind red-eye. Then suddenly, before Percy could escape, a stream of web encircled his spider!
“Come on, let’s have another go!” said Percy, undeterred.
“Let me make my web first!” said Grumbo’s voice, behind him.
Half an hour later the wall was festooned with broken webs and the score stood at Percy 2, Grumbo 1 and Rhodri 3. A slightly disgruntled Grumbo decided it was time to move on.
“What else is new?” he asked.
“There’s the Wobble Bike,” offered Rhodri. “That came in last week.”
“Right,” said Grumbo. “We’ll try it.”
“But you haven’t filled in the assessment forms for Spider-wars or the Obstacle Bounce yet!” protested Rhodri. Grumbo lifted his eyes to the ceiling:
“No time,” he declared.“You can fill them in for us if you like.” Rhodri sighed:
“You know I’m not supposed to,” he said, mildly.
“Yes,” responded Grumbo impatiently, “but you like paperwork and I don’t. Besides,” he added in a mollifying tone, “-you can spell and I can’t, so there’s really no point at all in me filling them in because no-one can understand them when I do.”
“I don’t mind filling them in,” offered Percy, “- though my spelling’s not very good either.”
“They’re very easy,” said Rhodri, picking up a pile of sheets from a nearby shelf and passing a couple to Percy with a pen. Grumbo sighed and put out his hand for one.
“If I must, I must,” he said. “You’re both as bad as Rudolph!”
Grumbo’s Form
Once Grumbo had finished chewing the end of his pen and had filled in at least one form, he eyed the Wobble Bike. It looked much the same as any other, with 2 wheels and handlebars just as usual.
“Can’t see anything special about this,” he declared. “The seat looks very slippery though -you haven’t let Tingle near it, have you?” he added, suspiciously.
The Wrong Night Page 9