by S. K Munt
Ratbag,
That’s incredible news and yes, as nervous as I am (so nervous it’s pathetic, this may be the craziest thing I’ve ever done!) I cannot wait to just sit with you and Paige and just be together, you know? There is one issue: mum isn’t here so I can’t grant permission for you to stay in the van. Bailey said he had a tent once though, so if you bring that and sleep outside I know it’ll be fine, because that way, my neighbour Maya will be able to vouch that the boys stayed outside where she could see ‘em, you know? It would be safer if you brought two tents, just in case Bailey refuses to share with you (and because mum took ours) but of course, Paige can stay inside with me. Damn I’m nervous though- about all of it! But I know mum would be okay with most of the plan, and I know the Laidlaw partygoers will be the only ones breaking rules, so I’m gonna go find something pretty to wear for you, something yummy to serve to you guys and then count the minutes until I see you again to distract myself, okay?
Love always, Your Finn.
P.S: And of course I’ll be waiting at the dock!
Once she was done, Finn handed the letter back to the barge operator along with her last two chips and then danced back to her van, squealing mutedly in the back of her throat. Yes, it was gonna be bloody uncomfortable being with Reeve in front of Bailey, but he was gonna have to accept them as a couple sooner or later and she figured the sooner he got used to it, the better off Reeve would be.
‘Why do you look so happy?’ Maya asked from where she was standing by the Monroe’s barbecue, brushing some honey over some watermelon slices she was grilling for lunch. Gladdy had gone along with Finn’s mum on the work party thing too, but Finn had promised to check up on Maya a few times a day, and Angie who managed the park was going to check on her at night. Not that Maya who was the sort to get into trouble if left to her own devices anyway!
‘My boyfriend and some other friends are coming to see me tonight!’ Finn sang. ‘And don’t tell anyone, but we might even be going to a Roast ‘n’ Toast for a little while.’
‘What?!’ Maya looked appalled. ‘Where?’
‘Um… up on the water tower-’
‘Finn no!’ Maya stepped away from the grill, looking stricken. ‘Don’t do that- it’s not safe! What if someone falls off? What if Outlaws see you? What if a Tutela-’
‘What if another meteor strikes tonight and kills me while I’m reading in bed?’ Finn tried to keep her tone light, but failed. ‘Sorry. I know it’s a bad idea and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous too, but I’m going anyway- it’s important.’
Maya frowned. ‘Since when is a party important to you?’
Finn sighed, knowing that Maya would never understand that she was going more for her fourteen-year-old self than for anything else. ‘It just is- this one time.’ She went to her mum’s lime tree and plucked one off, before using Maya’s melon knife to cut a slit into it. ‘Besides, I’m not drinking anyway, so I’ll make sure everyone else behaves too, all right?’
‘I’m not worried about everyone else,’ Maya protested, but she didn’t stop Finn from drizzling lime juice over the watermelon. ‘I’m worried about you, who I have nightmares about; nightmares that have gotten worse since you started coming home later, catching boats and crying all the time...’
‘You have night terrors, Maya,’ Finn said evenly as the coals sizzled. She licked the tangy juice off her fingertip and hummed in pleasure. ‘It’s my presence in your life that has me starring in them, not my behaviour, and I can’t think of a better way to prove that to you then by going to this party and coming home before curfew, sober and in one piece.’ She tossed the lime to Maya, who caught it deftly with her long fingers. ‘So that’s exactly what I’m going to do, okay? And by the way- I haven’t cried in two weeks thanks to my boyfriend unless they were happy tears, so don’t lose sleep over him.’
‘Promise me you’ll be back here by ten, and that you won’t drink?’ Maya demanded, her thick black lashes clogged with tears.
‘Cross my heart,’ Finn said, and then she did just that. Then, because she couldn’t take the judgmental look on her young friend’s face, she hurried inside to start prepping some damper, so she could keep the promises she’d made to Reeve too.
*
Finn hadn’t found it easy to dig up something to wear out of her own stuff, but Jade and Gemma had come up to get ready with her (they’d both smartly gotten their parent’s written consent to visit her, which meant they hadn’t had to sneak out at all) so they’d all ended up trading bits and pieces until they’d felt appropriately attired, which had made Finn’s tiny home feel cramped- but with friendship.
Jade was wearing Finn’s blue and white tie-dyed shorts with a blue cami of her own, and Finn had borrowed a black halter top from her, that tied up behind the neck and at her back with a diamond-cut waist which showed just a hint of her belly above her skirt. The skirt was her mother’s and also very bohemian, because it had little bells sewn into its handkerchief hemline, and it actually fit because it had a drawstring waist that she could fasten tightly, while the long skirt covered the scratches that she habitually got on her legs thanks to the rough way she lived and worked. She’d never worried about her scratches before, but Jade had pointed them out a few times since Finn had gotten her shorter school skirt, which had made Finn feel hopeless- like she was destined to always find one more flaw about herself that needed hiding or correcting!
At least I fixed my nails earlier! Finn thought as she smoothed her tinkling skirts against the wind, admiring the way her fingertips shone with their jet-black lacquer now, hiding the stains. Dealing with the crisis that is me the way Amory would; one issue at a time!
Jade looked hot in her casual, surfer-chick get up which showed off her long, smooth limbs, and Jemma looked bohemian in Sair’s tie-dyed maxi-dress, which contrasted nicely with her wild red hair, and though Finn didn’t quite feel like herself in her flowy ensemble, she’d loosely piled up her hair and had added dangly gold earrings and some black eyeliner, which made her feel a bit like a gypsy, and that little bit more like a Hive girl.
In fact, as they stood there waiting for the boat to come in, Finn decided that they all sort of looked like gypsies- all except Cara- who’d dressed preppy in a pair of denim shorts with a boxy tee printed with sunflowers. Her hair had been tied up in a high pony with a yellow scrunchie so she looked fresh and innocent, no doubt with the intention of tricking poor Bailey into thinking that her tough reputation was unwarranted, and Finn couldn’t help but smile because Cara was as underdressed but also as appropriately dressed for that outdoor party as Finn had been that night, two years before. All of Cara’s friends were already up at the water tower too, which meant that for once, Cara was the odd one out, and Finn was the one who had the largest entourage, which was shamefully satisfying.
Unfortunately though, that feeling of satisfaction dissolved the moment the small fishing boat pulled up- and only Hadley got out.
‘Wh-what…?’ Finn stammered, as Hadley awkwardly clambered down onto the dock and handed Finn a letter.
‘Sorry,’ Hadley said, eyeing the group of girls warily. Her fluffy blonde hair was stained gold by the sunset, and her cheeks were stained pink for another reason. ‘Reeve’s not coming, but he paid for me to make the trip anyway, just to give you that.’
Finn quickly unfolded Reeve’s letter, holding her breath as her nose tingled with threatening tears.
Babe,
I am SO sorry! Mum didn’t know your mum wasn’t going to be there when she agreed to let me go, so she changed her mind after she realised we wouldn’t have parental supervision. I went off because she’s never really cared about that stuff before, but she said I’ve been acting a bit too nuts about you lately- like by hopping boats and stuff every time I get the impulse- so my yelling at her for drawing a line just further proved that she needed me to draw it. It sucks, but she told Bailey’s mum so he’s out too. Also, Hadley said that she didn’t really want to go
because she had a bad feeling about it, and that branch of the family can get really weird when it comes to superstitious crap like ‘bad feelings’ so now she and Paige have to stay home as well, even though we all know that Hadley always has bad feelings where the Hive are concerned anyway.
I’m so sorry. I know how disappointed you must be, and that you probably won’t even go yourself now, but I promise I’ll be on my best behaviour this week, all right? That’s why I haven’t rebelled and made a break for you anyway- nothing’s gonna prevent me from being with you at that wedding! Not even how crazy I’m apparently acting over you already!
Love you forever and please forgive me! Reeve.
P.S: Bailey told me to tell you to tell Cara that he’ll be her date to the wedding anyway, if she’d still like that.
Finn sniffled when she finished the letter and then folded it up as quickly as she’d unfolded it, before Cara could see what he’d written about Hadley and the Hive girls, which would just give Cara one more reason to treat Hadley like crap.
‘They can’t come,’ she said, wiping wetness carefully out from under her eyes before turning to face a devastated-looking Cara. She was upset too, but she was currently more concerned about Cara’s temper, than her own bitter disappointment. ‘But Bailey says he’ll take you to the wedding anyway, if you still want him to.’
Cara’s eyes were rounder than ever. ‘Really? It said that?’
Finn nodded, tucking the letter into her waistband. ‘They feel really bad about it but basically, their mums have had it up to here with them getting all worked up over mainland girls. And neither of them argued back because they didn’t want to risk missing out on the wedding too, you know?’
‘Well, that sucks...’ Cara put her hands on her hips and sighed as she said: ‘But so long as he’s coming to the wedding I guess…’
‘Exactly.’ Finn turned back to Hadley and smiled thinly. ‘Thanks for coming over- I appreciate it.’
‘Like any of us can say no to Reeve about anything concerning you right now…’ Hadley joked, but her crooked smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, making Finn wonder if one of her smiles ever had. ‘Got a message for me to give back to him?’
‘Yeah,’ Finn’s throat felt tight. ‘Tell him I love him and that I understand. I won’t be able to write back until Tuesday though, so remind him that it’ll be a broke thing, okay? Not the cold shoulder.’
‘Will do.’ Hadley frowned at her. ‘Are you still going tonight?’
‘No,’ Finn said, which made Hadley sigh in relief while both Jade and Gemma gasped.
‘What?’ Jade cried. ‘You can’t ditch us!’
‘How is it ditching you? I didn’t even know you guys were coming until two hours ago when you rocked up on my door,’ Finn pointed out. ‘But don’t worry, you can still crash at mine after.’
‘Why can’t you just come with us?!’
‘Because Reeve gets jealous really easily,’ Finn said. The truth was that she knew she’d feel nothing but the distance between her and Reeve all night, which would make her crappy company anyway, but she knew her friends would understand the other explanation better, because getting and pleasing boyfriends themselves was such a huge priority for them. ‘So I don’t want him worrying himself sick all night about all the imaginary guys he’d gonna assume are coming onto me while he’s out of sight, you know?’
‘Good call,’ Hadley said, chuckling softly as she began top retreat back to the boat, waving goodbye. ‘You learn fast.’
Finn was actually a painfully slow learner and her failure to learn how to tie a sinker onto a hook, master long-division or inspire someone to throw a birthday party for her that was actually for her proved it. But making a mistake wasn’t an option when it came to Reeve and the way she saw it, he’d already earned her loyalty in a way that her fledgling new-ish friends had not.
‘Well I’m not going now either,’ Cara said, already beginning to back up. ‘You two can explain that to the girls for me, yeah?’
‘What?’ Jade exploded, turning on her. ‘They’ll kill you!’
‘They’ll get over it the second they see your surfer friend’s friends that actually have come over from the Shards,’ Cara scoffed, waving her hand. ‘Besides, now that I think about it, this probably was a risky stunt to pull a week before the wedding!’
‘I believe I tried to make that point yesterday…’ Finn said wryly, but Cara was already gone, and just like that, Finn went back to feeling invisible to her.
Oh well… Finn thought, watching her so called. ‘friend’ hurry away. At least it’s comforting to know that she’ll ditch her best friends without a backwards glance too!
‘This is bullshit…’ Jade complained as soon as Cara was out of earshot. ‘Can you at least walk us up there, so we don’t get lost or shot by a Tutela? Maybe explain to the people coming for you and Cara why you’re not actually coming so we don’t look like the kill-joys?’
‘Fine,’ Finn said, skirts jingling as she began leading the girls back up the dock. ‘On one condition!’
‘What’s that?’
‘Hug me if I start crying from Reeve withdrawals, okay?’ Finn whimpered, fighting back tears as it hit her that the longer she was with Reeve, the harder it was getting to be without him.
*
The party was about as jumping as a music-less party could be, and when Finn first made it to the top of the concrete water tower and paused at the top of the rusty ladder so she could catch her breath (while silently kicking herself for not exercising more often again) she was momentarily struck by how pretty the world looked from up there, while the fading sunset was making the kids’ faces and paler clothes glow a gentle amber colour.
Jade and Gemma had gone ahead of her (she’d insisted on being the last one because of her skirt) and had already made a beeline for Bonnie, Mischa and Aaron to share the news, which made Finn’s presence there redundant anyway. Still, she hadn’t been up on the tower since before the Strike, back when she and her friends had gone up there all the time, so she wanted to take a look around and make sure it was still safe before she walked away and left her drunken peers to party without her.
Wow! Finn thought, as she cleared the top and looked around, counting at least two dozen people before she shook her head in awe. I know they’re not here for me, but they knew I’d be here and they came anyway so- but her thoughts were derailed by the sight of a familiar figure standing in the centre of all of the action, laughing and gesticulating with the bottle of wine in her hand like she was holding court in Finn’s castle.
‘Is this a joke?’ the words bypassed Finn’s filter and shot out of her mouth before she could stop them. Brushing little flecks of rust off of her hands, she charged forward, bells jangling. ‘What are you doing here, Janks?’ She pulled up two metres from Georgia and Liam, looking around to ascertain that she was the only one from her vicious little clique of do-gooders present before she said: ‘Actually no, don’t answer that because I don’t care. Just leave, all right? Now.’
‘Whoa…’ Liam’s hands went up, like he was a bitch traffic controller. ‘What kind of welcome was that, jingles?’
‘An unwelcome!’ Finn snapped, disgusted when she saw that Liam’s eyes were as red and glassy as Georgia’s were unfocused and bloodshot. How long had they been partying for?! And how was Georgia maintaining straight A’s if she was writing herself off like that all the time now?
‘But I just g-got here…’ Georgia tried to either frown or pout, but she was already wasted, so her face just ended up looking kind of smudged. She sort of swung her arm Finn’s way and Finn recoiled, but Georgia’s eyes widened as she stumbled then held up one empty hand and one that was grasping her wine bottle as she mewled: ‘You think I’d hit you, Finny? I came here to apologise!’
Finny? Finn thought, thunderstruck. FINNY?!
Certain she hadn’t heard right, Finn looked over to Mischa for clarification, who’d already begun to approach, looking as el
egant in a black wrap skirt and old but glittery gold tank as Georgia looked drab in her polo shirt and baggy cargo shorts. Once upon a time. Mischa had dressed like a tomboy too, but she’d only dressed that way to appease her strict mother. Meanwhile, it was becoming pretty obvious that Georgia didn’t have a stylish bone in her body, which made Finn wonder why she even cared about being cool anyway!
‘Don’t ask me…’ Mischa said, glaring at Georgia. ‘I tried to make her leave, but she refused to budge until she’d seen you so…’
‘Well, you’ve seen her!’ Jade sang. ‘And she’s clearly not happy to see you back, Georgie-Porgy, which means it’s time for you to-’
‘Shut up- both of you…’ Georgia complained, not taking her eyes off Finn as she staggered closer and latched one of her hands onto Finn’s wrist, so she could jog it. ‘This is between me and Finny!’
‘I haven’t been Finny to you for years,’ Finn snarled, pulling her hand free. ‘And you’ve been doing just fine without me so-’
‘Have I?’ Georgia’s face crumpled. ‘Which part was me doing fine? Mum leaving dad just after he’d had his stroke? Everything I’d been working for every day of my life being rendered worthless? My house burning down or…?’ her head bowed and she sobbed into her hands, dropping her bottle, which Aaron only just managed to catch at the last second while Finn stared at Georgia, agog.
‘Oh come on!’ Jade whined. ‘You’re not going to fall for this are you? She was treating us like crap long before any of that happened to her, and she hasn’t had a kind word to say to us since-’
‘I didn’t mean to cut you out!’ Georgia wailed, wrapping her arms around Finn’s neck and sobbing onto her shoulder. Finn’s skin rippled with disgust-induced gooseflesh, but she was still too stunned to move so she grit her teeth and tolerated it, knowing that all she’d accomplish if she shoved Georgia away now, would be to make herself look like a jerk. ‘I just didn’t know what I could count on anymore, so I decided just to count on myself, you know?’