by Flynn Eire
“Oh.”
“Rune, he’s trying to help. Let him, okay? I’m not saying forgive him, but don’t dismiss your best chance at getting what you need because it came from him.”
I thought about that a moment before glancing at one of the few people I thought might really be my friend. “Is this what you would do if you were in my place?”
Dimitri rubbed the back of his neck, pausing and then nodding. “Yes. I can’t know for sure because I’m not in your shoes, but given what I do know, yes. I definitely think talking with someone who knows how to handle that kind of trauma is in order. I would want to try and undo what was done to me, for sure. And you’re like the smartest guy we’ve got, Rune. You obviously want to be a well-rounded warrior for all you’ve fought for alone, so take the help. We’ve all needed it.”
Again, I pondered that a few minutes before nodding. “All right. I’m in.”
Before breakfast I sat down in a meeting with Wally, Mark, and Ellison—the three post-trans who were going to be training me… Without them knowing it. We set up schedules in between their own duties and mine. It turned out Wally thought he really might want to get in on my tech team so while he seemed excited to have been picked for this, I wasn’t dense when he kept asking if there were any other extra assignments he could have to help out the command center.
“Actually yeah,” I hedged, glancing at Matteo and checking with him. When he nodded at me with a smile to go ahead, I truly realized Alexander, Dimitri, and Matteo were on my side and all for helping me. “Yeah, Wally. Let me fill in my people on what’s going on first. I’ve gotta reorganize some of their tasks to cover the time I’m going to spend with you guys, but then some of their work will need help being covered.”
“Done, of course, anything you need, Rune,” Wally gushed, his eyes lighting up.
“Can I get in on this?” Mark asked as he moved closer. “I want to learn the field gear better, too.” Ellison said the same, and with Matteo’s approval, I had three new post-trans to help out my people.
Which was amazing because they were going to need the help with all the new pre-trans turning post-trans we had going on and they had to cover. I hadn’t found anyone to assign to tech ops yet and maybe one of these three would tell me who should be on my team.
Win/win in my book.
Next I had a meeting with my people and informed them of the change. A few chuckled and made a few jokes about me taking one for the team to help out the newbies, but all around I saw nothing but pride in their eyes that their boss would spend the extra time making sure the new post-trans were so well-trained.
“All right, all right,” I said loudly when the meeting was getting out of order. “What do we have that we can kick down to these three that is easy enough they can’t fuck up but instructive enough that they will learn something?”
“We’ve got the quarterly clean sweeps,” Gilroy informed me and most of my team groaned.
“Clean sweeps?” Helios asked Alexander. I’d been trying to ignore his presence in the meetings but it was hard. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it, only addressing him in a professional capacity.
“Gilroy, explain to the newest warrior at our camp what the clean sweeps are and why we’re different from other camps, please.” I bit back a smirk. There was a reason I was in charge.
Gilroy stood, rolling his eyes and messing around as if he were addressing the class—yeah, yeah, us techs had a goofy sense of humor. “The clean sweeps is a quarterly protocol Rune implemented many, many moons ago. It’s not only a virus update for all electronics that go onto our network, but a firewall rebuilder, and modified failsafe in case anything should ever fall into enemy hands. It is his genius that designed the program.
“If we ever receive word, that say, Matteo is taken, we can not only use his laptop to ping his location off whatever cell tower he’s closest to, but wipe whatever sensitive material is on it after sending the cavalry after him. We update this software once a quarter and sweep the entire camp for all electronics—”
“Also making sure there aren’t any unauthorized electronics or suspicious ones at the camp,” Helios finished, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline. “Rune, that’s genius.”
“So there’s a way to tell which electronics have been updated?” Wally asked, glancing at me. I was glad for the immediate question so I didn’t have to speak to Helios. “Otherwise you might be finding the same stuff over and over again.”
“Rune tweaks the program every quarter so once we upload the new stuff, that device doesn’t register to our scanners,” Gilroy confirmed. “The reason we groaned is it’s not fun when all the warriors get a bug up their ass that they can’t watch their porn or whatever for a few days.”
“As always, if anyone is giving you a hard time or acting suspicious, I want to know immediately, Rune,” Alexander told me.
“Never had anything besides a little whining,” I chuckled. “Normally we’re the most popular people because the warriors want their stuff back.”
“Yeah, they bribe well,” Gilroy snickered, bumping fists with another tech. “Do you remember those gift baskets last time? Who sent those?”
Dimitri cleared his throat. “My department did. I forgot about the clean sweeps and had scheduled training at the same time for all the pre-trans to be on computers.”
“And this quarter, Dimika?” Alexander teased.
I burst out laughing when Dimitri started cussing up a storm… I wasn’t the only one.
“I’ll go order more gift baskets. Chocolate, right?”
“Yeah, those were a big hit. Oh, and the Godiva coffee one kept them going like Energizer Bunnies,” I called out as he left the conference room. “Okay, so yeah, they can help with that.”
“Wait, new post-trans can help on such a complicated program?” Matteo hedged, glancing at me with a raised eyebrow.
“That’s the beauty of Rune’s genius,” Gilroy chuckled, clapping me on the back. “He codes it and sets it up so all that needs to be done is to plug it into the USB drives and run the program. Anything more complicated than that, like tablets that don’t have those ports or phones, we need those brought here. But we’ll show them what to do. Basically they’ll plug them into the stations we’ll set up, click on the devices, load the program, and that’s it. The bitch is waiting for it to load over and over again.”
“We can get you more help with—” Matteo started but I cut him off.
“No, thanks. Three post-trans we’re going to be working with closely is a big help. Too many cooks in the kitchen can make a big mess and that’s how mistakes are made. Gilroy can go with Mark and Wally to do the training computers while I’m working with Ellison on our other project. You get a bunch of kids all in charge of one computer each, and we don’t have enough eyes to make sure they load it right. I’ve made it simple, but not idiot or screw-around proof.”
“Fair enough. Your call, Rune.”
I nodded, grateful for his immediate backup. “All right, what else? We need to check all the camera sensors, receivers, and wiring. That’s something they can take. Gilroy, you start there with Mark and Ellison, Wally’s going to teach me how to fire a gun this morning.”
“Yeah, sure he is boss,” Gilroy chuckled, giving me a wink as he stood. “We’ll crank out the east quadrant today between the three of us.” I blinked at him. That was a very aggressive assessment. “We’ll get it done. I’ll work them hard. They seem like eager pups.”
“All right. Update me if that changes.” Then I had an idea how to inspire the post-trans to get that much work done. “If it is accomplished, tonight I’ll show you how to fly one of our surveillance drones like we do on missions.”
“Seriously?” Mark whimpered, looking as if he might wet himself.
“Yup. If Wally can teach me how to hit a target today and accomplish what a pre-trans should on their first day of weapons training and you guys get the east quadrant of the camp checked out, I’
ll show you that tonight after dinner.”
“Awesome!” Ellison exclaimed. The three post-trans jumped to their feet, bumping fists and high-fiving each other. Wow. That was easy.
After the meeting dispersed, I collected my stuff and went to leave the conference room, only to be stopped at the door when Helios stepped back into the room with me and closed us inside. “Can we talk?”
“No,” I whispered, reaching around him for the handle.
“Rune, please,” he begged me. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you my assignment. My feelings for you are real. You were so amazing today. You have no idea how proud I am—”
“You have no right to be proud of me,” I snapped, pushing him away from the door. “I’m not yours, nor will I ever be again. You lied to me, Helios. You screwed with my mind. I would think the reasons why I’m the last person who would ever touch that stove again would be clear.”
“I didn’t know. I suspected someone had conditioned you, but I thought with my gift I was the best person to help you,” he explained, desperation in his eyes. “You didn’t ever tell anyone. I couldn’t have known it was because of the way people treated you when they found out. I assumed it was because you had been trained not to tell.”
“Well, I guess what they say about assuming things is true,” I drawled, rolling my eyes. “You really did make and ass of you and me. Stay away from me, Helios.”
I shoved past him and out the door, my heart twisting in my chest. Maybe with time I could forgive him. Maybe he was telling the truth that he had only wanted to help me. But that didn’t make up for the fact that his assignment here was temporary so things between us couldn’t have been more than a fling. So either it had been a lie or he’d been kidding himself.
Either way, I wasn’t going there again.
I spent the morning with Wally, learning how to strip down a gun, the parts to it, putting it back together, and loading clips. He was actually an excellent teacher. We took a break for lunch, and I found myself excited for the shooting part that came after the meal.
“Thanks for being so patient with me, Rune,” Wally muttered as we sat down with our trays. “I can’t believe how easy you’re making it look to act like you don’t know all of this inside and out.”
I shrugged off the comment, having trained my own people many, many times. “The best way for people to get how things work is to ask them questions and make them explain it to you.”
I was going to say more but we were interrupted.
“Hey, Rune,” Ben purred as he sat down across from us, Dean doing the same. “So, heard you were in the infirmary for a breakdown or something. What happened, bitch? You miss us?”
I dropped my sandwich as I stared at them. I hadn’t even thought about how to handle the rumors of what had happened. My mouth wouldn’t work, nor would my brain. I had nothing.
“Oh please,” Matteo chuckled as he joined us. “The rumor mill needs to get facts straight just once. Rune got injured when we ran some emergency protocol drill at the command center after hours. A door malfunctioned and almost came down on his head.” He glanced at me and gestured with his fork. “That was a nasty gash you got, my friend. It was funny some of the stuff you were saying though.”
I cleared my throat and picked up my sandwich. “Did I? I don’t remember anything but worrying if I was going to see my own brain on the floor.”
We chatted about the “accident” and other stuff until Ben and Dean got frustrated and left. I mouthed thank you to Matteo, who simply shrugged it off and that was that. Nothing big, no drama, as if we’d handled a delayed schedule and not a thing more. I felt a warmth spread in my stomach and while part of me was dying to ask Helios what that meant because I knew he’d be honest with me given our previous talks, I decided it best to venture a guess of my own.
Safe. That was what it felt like to feel safe and that friends had my back. To be honest, I didn’t remember what was on my sandwich but it was the best damn lunch of my life.
After lunch, I checked in with my team, making sure everything was in order and then headed off to training with Wally. By dinner time, I was scoring pretty good on the targets. All in all it was an excellent day that gave me hope that maybe I could be normal, maybe I really could fit in and get over my past.
Maybe, just maybe.
And for the cherry on top of my day, the east quadrant cameras were done so I did teach the post-trans how to fly the surveillance drones. They had the time of their life, and I saw them working even harder to get the chance just to fly one on their own.
Hey, we were all kids at heart sometimes, and these were really big toys basically. Fine, cool, tricked out toys, but toys, nonetheless.
* * * *
The next day I sat down with Cadric Maloney who had worked with Helios before and had flown in from a vampire-run research facility in Zurich. He worked with the brain and all kinds of other stuff I didn’t understand. I listened as he went over his credentials, nodding politely.
A small grin formed on his handsome face after about twenty minutes of rambling and he chuckled. “You didn’t catch any of that, did you, Rune?”
I shrugged. “Basically you’re going to assess my output and my function and figure out the best way to reinstall my operating system so my brain is running like everyone else’s to wipe out my father’s conditioning and my abuse as best as you can.”
He blinked at me a moment before giving a slow nod. “I’ve never heard it put like that, but yes actually, that’s a very succinct way of putting it. Helios informed me that it wasn’t just your voice he heard when you answered some questions. That led him to believe you’ve been conditioned in certain areas, and I’m going to try and undo that. It won’t be easy but by all his accounts, you’re incredibly strong, and there’s no reason not to think that with time and work we can’t have the right operating system running to help you.”
“Then let’s get started,” I muttered, rubbing my hands on my pants at the mention of Helios and hearing he’d said such nice things about me to his colleague. That and it was disturbing to know he’d heard my father’s voice in my head, not just my own. Now that I knew my father and his asshole friends were dead and I was truly free of them, I wanted to be free of them.
“I have one question first,” he hedged, studying me closely. He waited until I nodded before continuing. “Why Rune Freeman? You could have picked any name. Why that one?”
I felt my cheeks heat up. No one had asked me that since they’d learned the truth about my dual identities.
“Rune means a secret, and I had one to keep, a burden really, one I wanted to be free of. I don’t know, it just made sense. I left Seattle behind, but you can’t really ever leave your past behind you, so I might have been a free man of my father and that life, but I still had the secret of it all after I deleted my records so I picked Rune Freeman. It reminded me to be on guard and never forget how the people who are supposed to love us can hurt us the most.”
“Most might say that’s a very dark perspective and that you really didn’t want to let it go if you formulated your new name around your past, Rune.”
“What do you say?” I asked, catching he said most.
“I think that there’s a lot of hope in you. You didn’t pick a name that means dog or beaten. You picked Freeman, which shows that’s all you’ve ever wanted is to be free of all of this.”
I smiled at the idea. Yeah, maybe there was hope for me yet.
Cadric did some regression therapy and led me back to some of my earliest memories, helping me see them as the man I am, not the scared child I was. It was hard, but it also helped. I got to see how far I’d come. When our time was over, I felt raw, shaken.
“This was a good first step,” he said gently as he patted my knee. “Tonight, I want you to write down everything you’d say to your father if you could. What you undid today of his conditioning was a lot. Own it, Rune. How would you handle things as the man you are and do for the boy you
were?”
“And then what?” I whispered, wiping my eyes.
He leaned over and handed me a couple of tissues. “Burn it. Get it off your chest and let it go. It’s over and in your past. Tomorrow, we’ll move on to another part of your memories and conditioning. Then you’ll do the same, handle it, absorb it, and work past it. That’s how you truly become free of all of this, not by hanging on to what has been done to you. Will it always hurt? Of course, but the point is to let go of what you can and move on with your life. That is the best way to get back at any abuser, by being done with them.”
“I’d like that,” I breathed. The idea sounded so wonderful my heart fluttered. What would it be like not to wake up every morning with all this weight and pressure of my past, of what had been done to me?
I thanked Cadric and left the sitting room we’d been meeting in, wiping my eyes and stuffing the tissues in my pocket. As I stepped out into the hallway, I stumbled over my feet when I locked eyes with Helios as he slowly stood from one of the benches there.
“How much did you hear?” I accused, narrowing my eyes at him.
His face went pale as he held his hands out in front of him. “I wasn’t eavesdropping, Rune. Mostly I was pacing the hall. You guys were quiet, and Cadric always uses a noise-canceling machine for his sessions so no one can listen in.”
“Then why are you here?”
“I needed to see you,” he muttered as he rubbed his arms. “I’m sorry. I know you asked me to stay away but when Cadric said he was meeting with you right away after he got here, I just had to. I knew how hard it would be on you and I needed to know you were okay.”