by Ellis Marie
What is wrong with me?
Later that night, after Matt has done everything he wants to, I silently tiptoe from my bedroom. I make their way downstairs shakily as I leave him snoring naked.
The clock on the microwave flashes a time, which illuminates a tiny portion of the room. I use it to move through the kitchen, opening the drawer that I had gone to earlier. Inside it, the necklace looks as though it’s almost glowing. Its deep purple colour lights up in the darkness, and I’m in awe of its beauty. Carefully, I pick it up and the familiar warmth flows through me. It’s an almost comforting touch.
No doubt it’s all in my head, but I accept the feeling gladly, allowing myself to sink down the counter. My legs softly hit the ground.
I take a shuddering breath and then the pain begins to pour out of me. Tears rapidly patter against the tiles beneath me as I curl into myself, clutching onto the jewellery so tightly that it digs into my skin, but I relish the pain.
At least for once, I’m the one hurting me and not someone else.
Something has changed. Something that I can’t explain, and I’m terrified that I can’t go back. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what to do.
I know exactly when the feeling started though, the moment I almost fell on the front steps of the school and someone caught me.
Someone that has also managed to break my heart and simultaneously make me miss him without trying.
Trent.
CHAPTER TEN
The next day at school, I feel numb, as though the life from inside me has been sucked out and in its place is an everlasting feeling of dread.
Not to be dramatic.
The warm sun doesn’t soothe me. Instead, it makes me uncomfortable and sweaty. I use my sunglasses as a way to try and block out some of the light that shines on me.
The light that reveals.
My hands shake as I walk to my locker, lowering my head and covering my face with my hair as I follow Matt, his greetings echoing around me as people welcome him back.
They missed him after one day. I don’t think I’ll even miss him after one hundred . . . not now.
My heels click on the floor. The sound is the only thing keeping me sane—at least it’s constant and steady, unlike my rapidly beating heart.
“Be a good girl today, yeah?” Matt whispers in my ear. I flinch away from it. I used to melt under it, but now, I freeze.
He doesn’t say anything else before he walks away. The shouts of his friends blurring in the background as I try to squeeze past them, the hoots and cheers fading into nothingness.
As I try to pass by the group, a gaze stops me as their eyes watch me like a predator waiting for its prey’s moment of weakness.
Carter.
The bile in my throat rises, and I quickly look away. My feet redirect me to the bathroom down the hall, which seems like a safe haven at this point. I almost collapse into the door, my weight pushing it open and causing it to bang against the opposite wall.
As my feet stumble on the tiles, a clumsy journey to the cubicle furthest away from the door, I don’t even notice the people standing by the mirrors as their snickers follow me like a trail.
I slam the door behind me and collapse on to the ground, my stomach emptying the coffee that I had just consumed. I rest my head against the palm of my hand, the tears flowing from my eyes.
I can’t do this. I can’t keep living like this.
“It’s funny to see what finally breaks someone,” a voice sneers from the other side of the door. “I always thought it’d be years before you broke.”
Slowly, I lift my head. I focus on the bleak grey walls around me as I try to understand who is talking.
“I suppose knowing that he doesn’t really love you is what did it, huh?”
My heart squeezes in my chest as I turn around a little, my trousers squeaking against the floor as I do. I just manage to make out three pairs of sparkling shoes from underneath the gap in the cubicle.
The three witches.
“It’s ironic that after we’ve had the best weekend of our lives, you get the worst. Cheating can be a b*tch.”
Her words make everything stop.
My heart. My breath. My thoughts.
All that echoes around is that one word.
Cheating.
“W-what?” I mumble, struggling to raise myself. “What are you talking about?”
I somehow manage to get myself to my feet, ignoring the sniggers from the girls. I grasp the lock with slippery fingers, my shaking hands struggling to grip on. Cautiously, I open the door. I hold my breath as the burning sensation allows me to focus on something real instead of the fake lies Tracey is currently spouting to me.
It has to be a lie, doesn’t it?
“Oh, come on, Anna.” She smirks, rolling her eyes as she glances at her two sidekicks. Their matching looks of victory are enough to make my blood run cold. “You can’t honestly think we spent the whole weekend together and nothing happened? You weren’t there. What was stopping him?”
No. She couldn’t be telling the truth.
“Do you just get a buzz out of hurting people, Tracey? Are you that pathetic of a person?” The words leave my mouth before I can stop them. The three girls gasp in surprise at my harsh tone, their bodies recoiling back.
“What? You don’t like someone actually calling you out on what a horrible, conniving, and cowardly b*tch you are?” I spit as tears continue to fall down my face. I step forward, grinding my teeth.
Tracey’s face morphs into one of rage as she seethes back at me, curling her lips upwards in a snarl.
“There we go, ladies and gentlemen. There’s the real Annabelle Williams,” she hisses. “No more of the fake angel bullsh*t. I always knew you were pretending.” She snorts, looking at her nails. “Matt doesn’t deserve you.”
I let out an incredulous laugh and take a step back, realising that she has no idea what is even going on. She has no clue of any real hardships in life; she doesn’t know what it’s like to be truly afraid, or how hard it is to say no to someone you love even though they were hurting you.
She doesn’t know anything about me.
“Maybe you are crazy. Why are you laughing at that?” Nancy questions, her eyes wide and hands raised as if I’m going to attack her.
“I’m laughing because I wish I was as naive as you guys.” I sigh, staring up at the ceiling in an attempt to stop the stream of tears falling from my eyes. “You have no idea how lucky you are to only worry about yourselves and your petty concerns. Open your eyes, get a f*cking clue, and realise that there’s more to life than whose d*ck you can suck and what outfit you’re going to wear to parade yourself around in.” I feel horrible as soon as I said it; I don’t really know what’s going on in their lives. I couldn’t begin to say anything about their homes or families, really, but it makes me feel a little better. As far as I’m concerned, if all they can think about is how to make someone feel bad, then they really are pathetic creatures.
They have no idea what real sadness is.
“If you’ll excuse me,” I choke out, giving their gobsmacked expression a fake smile as a new wave of nausea comes over me. “I need to go and get some fresh air.”
The three girls don’t say anything as I push past them and run out the door. My vision blurs as I stumble through the halls, making my way to the quiet corridor that leads outside. It’s barely used—perfect for avoiding everyone.
Did Matt really cheat on me? Did I really believe Tracey?
If it’s true, then what happened last night . . . the excuses he gave . . . I just need to be alone, but as always, it seems like nothing ever goes my way.
In the dark shadows of the dimly lit part of school, an arm reaches out and stops me in my tracks, their presence sending a shiver down my spine.
“Now, why is a cute thing like you crying so much?”
A finger trails down my cheek, following the line of my tear, but I don’t react; I feel numb.
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“I know how to make you feel better.”
The finger touches the sore spot on the side of my face. I flinch, my feet catching my body as I try to make my mind concentrate so I can get out of this situation. It proves difficult.
“Leave me alone, Carter,” I mumble, trying to push past him but it’s like I’m talking to a brick wall. His arms continue to circle me like a shark in the water.
“But what if I don’t want you to go?” His voice is light and teasing; anyone walking past could think we were lovers flirting with each other, but I hear the underlying tone in his words, and through the fog of my despair, alarm bells begin to ring.
“Carter, let me go,” I try to demand but my voice comes out as a weak whisper. “Matt will—”
“Matt won’t do anything.”
Suddenly, the grip on my arms isn’t seductive or charming; its rough and forceful and it holds me to the spot in front of him, like a cage around me.
“Matt won’t care. He also won’t know because if you say anything to him, then I’m going to point out that fancy little necklace around your neck that he seems to have missed. Maybe I’ll just give a hint as to who it’s from.”
Out of instinct, I wrap my hands around the necklace, my fingers weaving through the chain like a safety net.
“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stutter. “I found this necklace, I—”
“Oh honey,” he coos, combing his fingers through my hair. “I’m sure you did, but I also know that you apparently spent a lot of time with a certain man while we were away.”
My eyes fly open, and I look up at Carter in shock.
What?
He laughs, a smirk on his overly large lips. “Matt might not have gotten someone to watch you, but I did. And I know everything that you did.”
My heart stops in my chest, my lungs deflate, and black spots begin to form around the edges of my vision.
Is this the end? How could I have not noticed someone following me? Is he telling the truth?
My chest heaves as I begin to hyperventilate. Carter’s hands rubbing up and down in fake affection isn’t helping at all; they just make my skin crawl.
“Elle?”
I snap my head up in the direction of the voice a few metres down the hall. I almost want to cry in relief when I see the flaming red hair standing boldly in the entrance.
“Scarlette,” I gasp out and a look of concern passes over her features as her eyes go from my tear-streaked face to Carter’s hands gripped tightly around my arms.
“Is everything okay?” she asks calmly, but I can see her fingers twitching at her sides, curling and stretching as she bounces on the balls of her feet. “Are you okay?”
I open my mouth and reach my arm out to her, but Carter’s hold pulls me back as he wraps an arm around me and yanks my side into his; his huge chest knocking my head.
“We’re just fine, thank you,” he answers smugly, landing his hand on my head as he heavily strokes my hair. “Anna here was just upset, and I’m being a good guy and comforting her. Best friend of the boyfriend duties and all that.”
I don’t have to look at him to hear the sneer in his voice and my stomach plummets when I notice how Scarlette seems to relax slightly, her eyes trained on my neck and where Carter’s arm is.
“Okay, well, I’ll leave you guys alone then,” she says hesitantly. A silent sob breaks from my lips as she turns her back to us without another glance, her figure disappearing around the corner.
Am I really that good at pretending?
“See, that was easy, and you were such a good girl,” Carter leers. He turns my body to face him as they slide down my legs, and I begin to struggle out of his hold.
“No, no, no!” he chides, tsking at me as his fingers lock around my wrists. “We’re going to be nice to Carter because, otherwise, you’re going to be in trouble.”
“Please, Carter,” I whimper as he pulls me into his body, his pelvis meeting mine and I want to scream. “Please stop.”
Haven’t I already suffered enough last night? Couldn’t I at least have a few hours of peace?
“Trust me, my little tease, you’ll forget all about him once I have you,” he pressures, threading his fingers through my hair. He yanks my head back, exposing my neck and forcing me to look up into his putrid eyes. “Just you wait.”
“Carter, please,” I beg, trying to wriggle out of his hold but every move is painful and it’s like he knows it.
“You don’t want another bruise to match the one already on your face, do you?” he sings, darting his tongue out to lick the tender spot and a gurgle of sound makes its way from my throat in response. His hold is the only thing stopping me from crumpling to the floor. “Matt tells me you like it rough.”
“Carter, no, stop! Please—”
“You know I figured after the first time I spoke to you, you’d get the message, but it seems like you didn’t quite understand me.”
The hands gripping me pause in their movements, and for the first time in a while, my lungs breathe in a proper breath.
“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in, or should I say dog?” Carter chuckles, his voice like ice. “Always a pleasure to see you, Trent.”
Trent.
“Get away from her right now.” His voice is like steel as he growls the words out, the deepness of them feeling as though they shake the walls around me.
“And why would I do that? Because you’re a little jealous that I have my hands around your plaything?” Carter taunts, pulling my hair back before he laughs and returns my head to an upright position so that I can now look at the looming figure ahead of us.
I assumed that he would look like an angel standing in the hall, but he doesn’t; he looks like a dark, otherworldly being. His shoulders shake as he watches us. A smaller figure stands behind him, and I can see the red hair from a mile away.
Scarlette.
“No, because if you don’t, then I’m going to rip you limb from limb and paint the wall behind you with your own blood.” The threat makes even my face drop. Carter’s smug grin slips off slowly, loosening his grip in my hair.
“Was that a threat, scum?” he hisses, removing his hands from my body for only a second before they return and push me forward with force. My knees buckle as I collapse to the floor, skidding across the linoleum.
Immediately, Trent darts forward as he softly wraps his arms around me. He raises me to my feet as he searches my body for any signs of trauma.
“Are you okay?” he whispers hurriedly, his fingers like a light wind across my skin as they smooth over me. “Did he hurt you?”
His golden eyes look at me with so much concern that my heart flutters a little, and all the bad things he said to me seem to slip away. Even though my body is numb, I can still feel his warmth. I shake my head quickly, my heart pounding as the feeling of his skin soothes me.
“No, I’m alright,” I answer softly as he wipes the tears from under my eyes.
When his fingers brush over my bruised cheek, I flinch at the sting. He narrows his gaze at the spot with frown lines forming between his brows.
“What happened to your cheek?” he asks, but it sounds almost like a thought to himself. “That wasn’t there on Sunday.”
I go to answer with some lie or try to make it into something less than it is, but the sound of clapping cuts me off from speaking.
“Aw, look at that, I was right about who you spent your weekend with. Goddamn I’m good.”
Carter’s laughter breaks my daze. I glance at him in confusion, my head shaking as I realise he tricked me. He throws his hand up in the air in a motion of celebration, and all I can imagine is the fist flying into his face.
“You never got anyone to watch me, did you?” I mumble, feeling like an idiot for believing him. He shakes his head, smugness oozing out of every pore on his body.
“Nope, I just know how much of a sl*t you are.”
Trent steps forward, pushing
me carefully behind his back as if something clicked inside of him and the defensive switch had been activated.
“I dare you to say that about her again,” he snarls, the muscles on his back bunched up in tension. The air around us stills as I hold my breath, my palms becoming clammy.
“Don’t like what you’re hearing, Trent?” Carter hums, his lips wet as he bites them. “Want to hear about how my boy was bending her over last night? F*cking her like a common street whor—”
Carter never gets to finish his sentence, not because he realises how horrible and hurtful the words are because that would mean that, for a moment, he actually turned into a decent person.
Oh no, he doesn’t finish them because the boy in front of me literally throws his body forward with a horrific growl. They collide, going tumbling to the floor in a flurry of fists and grunts, and all hell breaks loose.
Scarlette rushes forward from behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist protectively as she moves me back from the brawling duo. I turn to face her with panic evident in my eyes.
“Are you okay?” she asks, completely ignoring what is happening on the floor a few metres away. I flick from them to her in shock. “Elle!” she calls, grabbing my shoulders. “Are you okay?”
I nod in response and she relaxes a little, wrapping her arms around me briefly as she pulls me into her body.
“Thank god! I was so worried. I just knew I had to get Trent.”
I pull back from her, my heart warming at the thought of her caring while also feeling guilty when I realise that, for a moment, I thought she doesn’t care.
“Scarlette, what do we do?” I yell, pointing at the boys. She glances at them with an unusually small amount of worry. “Trent could get hurt!”
For a moment, I swear I see a small flicker of a grin flit across her lips, but it’s gone before I can recognise it and she shrugs.
“Honestly, I’d be more worried about Trent killing him than anything else.” She grimaces. “Actually, that’s a real concern.”