Downshift Series, #1

by Bonnie R. Paulson

  Kelsey didn’t begrudge the woman for doing her job. She understood. Despair at the situation she’d put her grandmother into crushed her happiness at seeing JT. She would need to beg for more hours when she went in the next day. Maybe she could cut back on her sleep. As it was, she was already scraping the minimum of six hours a night.

  The jobs available to her that would fit her school and studying schedule weren't enough to cover her living arrangements and everything else she needed to pay for. She was living on borrowed time and the deadline was finally catching up to her.

  “I have two weeks? I'll get her out. Thank you for your help.” She knew what would happen. They would become more apathetic. Her grandmother would not be taken care of as well. It wasn't because they weren’t good nurses or good caregivers, but they would see her as a lack of income and not as a person. She was taking a bed that could help generate revenue.

  Kelsey had to get her grandmother out and she needed to do it soon.

  She looked around her sparse apartment with its chipped linoleum on the counters and pealing vinyl flooring. She didn't even have a bedroom. She separated the bathroom off with a curtain hanging from a rod between the toilet and kitchen.

  Where would she put her grandmother? Dementia left her grandmother incapable of staying put for long. She got disoriented easily and needed a nurse, herself. A condition like hers required round-the-clock care. Outside of the facility, Kelsey would have to stay with her grandmother. There wasn’t a job or class schedule that would allow Kelsey to take the aging woman with her.

  Kelsey sat up, placing her elbows on her knees. She had finals in two weeks and her grandmother to spring from the nursing home. She was overcome with overwhelming frustration and sadness. She was letting everybody down and she was trying desperately not to.

  Hanging her head, she rested her face in her hands and tried not giving over to the threatening tears. “I don't want to let you down, Mom. I’m trying to take care of Grandma. I’m trying. I’m trying so dang hard, Mom. And here I am... failing.”

  Chapter 5

  JT

  JT laid his head back, his cell tucked into his tight grip. “I understand. Yes, I will be in Salt Lake City for the race.” He closed his eyes. What else could go wrong?

  “We hate that you got injured, but this is business. We really need to have our campaign blasting by Salt Lake City. Let us know if you’ll be able to make it. We hope you feel better.” The rep wasn’t JT’s normal representative, which wasn’t a good sign.

  He nodded to no one in particular. “Thanks. I'll see you in Salt Lake.” He ignored the opening of the door and hung up the phone.

  Bruises on his jaw still ached when he spoke. The conversation took a lot for him to get through without yelling in frustration.

  “Are you okay?” The sweet timber of Kelsey's voice soothed his nerves. He opened his eyes and watched as her perfectly bowed mouth formed her words. “I've heard that you haven’t eaten since yesterday. Is everything okay? Are you in a lot of pain?” She checked his chart and leaned on the end of his bed.

  Something about her begged him to confide in her like she would listen. Maybe it was the memory of her going out of her way to make him feel less dependent or maybe it was because her eyes transfixed him.

  “No. I’m close to losing my sponsors. If I lose my sponsors before my races, they won’t sign for me when I take my next career move. I desperately need them to sign with me for my next career move.” He didn’t mean to sound like he was whining, but a lot rode on the sponsors he already had not jumping ship.

  Kelsey affected a pout with her lower lip stuck. “You're not in pain? You’re just being a baby? It's okay, you can admit you’re being a baby.” Her pout transformed into an infectious grin. She moved toward him with a needle she pulled from a drawer. “I have something that fixes ‘babies’. This won’t hurt... much.”

  JT pulled back into the pillows, eyeing her hand holding the needle aloft. His gaze darted between her playful expression and the very somber site of the syringe. “Um, are you serious?”

  Kelsey arched an eyebrow at him, stopping at his elbow. “If I was, would you let me do it?”

  He couldn't believe it. She was messing with him. The sparkle in her green eyes acted like a salve on the frustration over the last few days. “Where have you been? None of the other nurses smile. One of them said you won’t be on the next few days. She even said you wouldn’t be in today.”

  She put the syringe down and picked up the wrappers and empty cups on his lap table. “I'm not full-time. I just get sporadic days. I wasn’t scheduled for today, but I picked up a shift a couple days ago.” She glanced at him and then at the door that was partially open. “I wish I could get full-time, but I'm in school, too, and I'm so close to finishing, at least this part of my career.” She ended on a grin. “I get to do that because I pretty much never work.”

  JT laughed, and then moved his hand to cover his rib and the sharp pain in his side. “Oh, don't make me laugh. That hurts worse than I think a broken one would.”

  “You really are a baby.” Kelsey laughed, but in a friendly, teasing way JT liked. “I better go check on my other patients. You’re not the only one here. Are you doing okay? Did you get any more panties today?” She couldn’t keep a straight face and ended on a laugh that brought a grin to JT’s face.

  “Why? Are you jealous? Maybe you could send me some of yours?” JT hoped he didn't look as bad as he felt. He desperately wished he could meet Kelsey in normal conditions where he wasn’t lying there with tubes holding him down. He had a game he wasn’t too bad at.

  She was the type of girl a smart guy hung onto. All she could possibly see him as was a patient, even if she did get him pants to replace the impotence-inducing gown.

  “Why would I send you my panties? I don't even like dirt bikers.” She laughed as she left the room, her rear-end swaying as she side-stepped out the door.

  She didn’t like dirt bikers, huh? Oh, what JT wouldn’t give to place a bet with his friends that she was going to change that statement. Kelsey was meant to be in his life and he was going to make sure she liked dirt bikers or one anyway.

  JT's grin didn't fade even when the sponsor concerns returned to his mind. He had to race in four weeks, even though the doctor said he wouldn’t be able to race for six. What do doctors know? In his case, they didn't know jack.

  Chapter 6

  Kelsey

  Kelsey flipped through the pages of the shift schedule, worry mounting with each turn. Her shifts had been cut back even more. The hospital hired three new nurses followed by a decline in patient admissions due to a new hospital had been added across town. As a part-timer, Kelsey's hours were filled last. Thought it was something she was forced to deal with, it also couldn’t have come at a worse time.

  “Is everything okay?” One of the new nurses leaned back in her chair, chewing on a cheese stick and yawning.

  “I'm good. It's just hours are tight.” Kelsey grabbed her backpack and pulled out the mail she’d taken from her apartment mail slot before she left for work. She was behind on about five days’ worth of mail. The call from the nursing home had jogged her memory.

  The woman agreed. “I know what you mean. Finding a job in this town has been hard. Three different nursing schools within twenty miles of each other? I don't know how you guys do it. I was told I’d be able to get a job within days of graduation. I’ve been looking for six months.”

  Kelsey didn't answer. The logo for the school she wanted to get into for the nurse practitioner degree flashed from the corner of an envelope. And it was a big envelope.

  They didn't send rejections in big envelopes.

  Her hands shook as she opened the letter, thinking that maybe she would be admitted in the January course the following year. She could definitely use the chance to save up some money. It was too late in the application process to get accepted for that starting semester.

  Slowly, she pulled out the
papers. The soft rustle whispered under the other nurse’s droning voice.

  The ink blurred as Kelsey focused on words that said, “You’ve been accepted. Please, have your down payment and other fees for the first semester submitted by June 30.”

  June 30? That was in just under a month. How was she ever going to be able to get that kind of money? It wasn't a measly hundred dollars either. Her financial aid wouldn't go through for a good six months. She had to wait for the other financial aid that she filed for to come through. Who knew when that would happen?

  Maybe she wouldn't be able to get into the school she needed to. Unfortunately, the program was so competitive to get into, it was now or never.

  A beep called her to JT's room. She didn't feel like doing anything, even seeing him. She wanted to wallow in her stress and she didn’t want him to see her at her worst. She felt deflated. The news of her grandmother had been hard enough, but being unable to properly care for her and no longer able to attend her dream school due to the ever-decreasing hours was destroying her.

  In the end, she decided to anyway. Taking care of the patients was her job and seeing JT was the only positive thing she could picture for her day.

  She pasted on a fake smile when she entered the room. Though her smile was forced, the butterflies in her stomach when he looked at her were decidedly real. More than half the vases and balloons were gone from his room. An orderly pushed the door open behind her and left the room with a vase in each hand.

  “Are you really giving them away?” Her fake smile began to reflect genuine happiness. Only a good guy would think of others after she only mentioned it once.

  “Of course. I don’t need them and it would be a shame for them to go to waste.” He pulled his jacket on, zipping up the front before settling into the seat of the wheelchair that waited by his bed.

  Kelsey’s eyes widened. She hadn’t looked carefully at his chart. “They’re discharging you?” Her fake smile returned and this time she tried not to glare. Nothing was going her way.

  “Okay, what's going on? I haven't known you more than a week, but I can tell that face means something's up. I don't usually get fake smiles from pretty girls.” JT drew his eyebrows together. The bruises on his face had changed to a light purple-green, which made his other injuries, like the sling on his arm, more noticeable.

  She smiled tightly, grabbing his chart. “I’m fine. You called?”

  He looked fine. JT wasn’t the type of guy to call a nurse in to chat about the weather. Whatever it was, it would most likely be the last time they talked. Celebrity athletes didn’t exactly hang out in hospitals for fun.

  Kelsey didn’t want to acknowledge her feelings of loss that he was finally being released. He shouldn’t have even been admitted. She understood the need for extra precautions, but she was acting like a baby when she’d had a chance to get to know him and she shouldn’t have even had that.

  JT stopped moving and angled his head to see her better. “I want you to tell me what's going on.”

  She didn’t have any friends. Not real friends. She didn’t have anyone to talk to about anything. The need to talk to someone was suddenly stronger than the desire to keep things private. Kelsey dropped the chart and slumped against the hard plastic of the hospital bed.

  “Do you really want to know? Because I have a lot I could say.” Would telling him hurt anything? They’d never see each other again. The chance to vent to a living person might do her some good.

  He folded his arms and settled into the wheelchair, his feet resting on the metal platforms. “Try me.”

  Something in the way he said it, and the way he tilted his head to the side, convinced her she could say something. She could say anything and he wouldn’t judge her.

  Maybe he wouldn’t see her as the failure she knew she was.

  Heaving a deep breath, she gathered her courage. “I have to get my grandmother out of the nursing home tomorrow. I don’t make enough money for her to stay there anymore. For her to stay anywhere. She has advanced dementia, so she has to be watched round the clock. I can’t leave her alone.” She swallowed back her tears. He’d only asked what was going on, but if she stopped speaking, she wouldn’t be able to start again.

  “I don't have the money to pay for a nurse or to stay with her. My hours were cut here at the hospital, so I’m only going to work one day a week. I need to make a lot more than that to pay for... life.” She closed her eyes. “Between rent, my grandmother's care, food, and everything else, my bank account is severely anemic.”

  She laughed derisively as she realized another impossibility with her situation. “My studio apartment is up four flights of stairs, no elevator, and a cherry on top? I just found out that I got into the best nurse practitioner’s program in the country, but I have no way to pay for it.”

  Kelsey wrinkled her nose and tried to wave off her problems. “It all comes down to money. Right? You with your sponsors and me with... everything else.” She folded her arms, blinking back tears. Then her tone softened. “Thank you for letting me vent. I actually do feel a lot better.” Should she be ashamed for ranting? Or was it one of those things that was okay because they were sharing from both sides?

  JT studied her with intense blue eyes. “Well, actually that is what I called you for. I saw you walk in while the doors were swinging open and shut with the flowers going out. All the flowers...” He shifted in the chair, sighing. “I ramble when I’m nervous.” He cleared his throat.

  What could he be nervous about? He lifted his hand and then dropped it back to his lap. “You know about my sponsor problem. I’m trying to quit my career as an AMA motocross racer. I want to go freestyle. But, if I don't race in the next three weeks, I’ll lose my sponsorships and those are the ones that will pay for me to get into the freestyle competition. So, I need to not only race in Salt Lake City, I need to place. The doctors, however, won't clear me for another five weeks.”

  JT pressed his lips together and watched her. He rubbed his hand on his leg. “Which is where I think you come in.”

  Kelsey listened closely. She didn’t know how she could help him. She wasn’t a doctor and she didn’t work miracles.

  “I want you and your grandmother to move into my downstairs mother-in-law suite. It’s a huge house and it's all mine. My dad left with some money. Not all of it, but enough that he thinks he did. I had the locks changed while I’ve been in here, so the house is secure.” He smiled, as if trying to convince her. “You need a job that pays, right? I’ll hire you as my physical therapist and you can work around your schooling. I’ll even pay for a nurse for your grandmother.”

  “But I’m not a physical therapist.” Kelsey bit her lip. The things he promised her weren’t possible. They were everything she needed, but that didn’t add up. She never got what she needed.

  “I know that, but they’ll give me some exercises to do at home and I need help with every day things. You could help me with that.” JT leaned toward her.

  “What’s the catch?” she asked. There was always a catch. She couldn’t just go with him.

  A side smile curved his lips. “The catch is... I need you to be hard-core and get me where I need to be, just like yesterday when you didn’t let me quit. Instead, you made it possible for me to do what I wanted. I need that. I need someone to really push me. Enough spoiling me.” A hint of desperation glinted in his gaze, triggering Kelsey’s caretaking instincts.

  He needed someone to push him? Or was it just a pity offer? There were too many benefits for her to worry so much, but her pride wouldn’t survive a pity deal. Especially from someone she struggled desperately to keep her attraction under control.

  She didn’t have anywhere to put her grandmother that was safe. She didn’t even have a comfortable place for the older woman, if it’d been on the ground floor. Kelsey couldn’t do what she needed to without the offer he placed before her.

  She had to keep the question in the forefront of her mind. Could she do the jo
b? Of course, she could. She was dang good at what she did.

  Did Kelsey care if her pride was thrust to the side? Could she afford to care?

  Chapter 7

  JT

  JT couldn’t have Kelsey reject his offer. He pushed on the wheel of the chair, moving closer to her, as if proximity would convince her to do what he wanted.

  He stumbled over his words, blinking hard. “No, please, hear me out. No one else has ever pushed me. They just let me take the easiest path. Being pushed is the one thing that will help an athlete actually perform.”

  She drew back, arching her eyebrow and folding her arms. “Are you considered an athlete?”

  Uh, what? JT frowned. “Of course, I'm an athlete. Have you ever ridden a bike? Those things, when ridden right, work every muscle in your body. I can't think of a better workout.”

  He could think of a couple, but he didn't want to get forward with her or have her think he’d be inappropriate while she worked for him. It wasn’t her fault she was intoxicating and consumed his thoughts.

  JT had to keep her near him, and offering her a job was a great way to do it. He would accomplish two things by convincing her the job was the best thing for her – and him.

  The blonde intertwined with the red strands of her hair and brought out the green in her eyes. JT wanted to stare at her as long as she’d let him.

  She half-shrugged. “I don't know. That kind of a job is a lot to ask for. I'm not sure you’re getting the fair side of the deal. That's an awful lot to give me for a few hours of therapy.”

  What would make her understand that he needed her? He couldn’t trust a lot of people and she’d slipped into the ranks of people he valued in just a matter of days. He couldn’t let her get away easily.