Another eye roll from me. Flidais seemed to have some disdain for the pack down south and I could only hope she was a little more respectful in front of them. Her running commentary on my work had been grating and having her watching me the whole time made me nervous, along with her constant questions. I understood that she wanted to make sure I was okay but I would have preferred my privacy, at least in the herb room, which was the only place I could really call my own.
“Because there’s things she will know and books she will have that I don’t. Most healers of the past trained under one more experienced,” I explained.
She hummed but seemed unconvinced. Giving Mirren a quick scratch behind the ears, I led the way out into the cold. The snow had melted again but the air still held an icy bite to it. Flidais pulled out a cigarette and I did my best not to scrunch my nose at the smell as she lit it. She noticed though.
“It’s not like it can kill me,” she muttered.
That I wasn’t so sure about but I didn’t bother saying so. I had gotten used to her blunt ways and even her bad habit of smoking whenever she was outside. She didn’t get along with many from the pack because of her attitude and I think her mini war with Tala and the two she-wolves that followed her about was partially because she refused to be intimidated; even if Tala was technically above her in rank. Although I’d also noticed that there seemed to be a tension whenever Quillan and she were in the same room as well.
Flidais waved a hand once we reached the door for me to enter first. “I’ll be a minute. No point in wasting good tobacco.”
My laugh was half-hearted as I stepped in. Nerves had begun to build as it got closer to the time the healer was meant to arrive. My fingers fumbled with my scarf and I made my way through the hall, listening out for voices. Inhaling, my heart fluttered as I caught Quillan’s scent and I followed it until I realised it was leading to his bedroom. I stopped short. Quillan didn’t like people going near his room.
I hadn’t spoken to him since the night he’d given me back my nightgown and he’d yet to give me an explanation for why he had it in the first place, and why it smelt so strongly of his scent. I had the distinct feeling that he was avoiding me. I’d caught him for a moment downstairs this morning, intent on confronting him until Flidais had appeared. They’d postured and growled at each other until she’d taken my hand and pulled me away, whispering teasingly about grumpy betas.
Sighing, I turned to step away, cringing when the floorboard creaked loudly beneath me. The bedroom door flew open and the dark eyes of Quillan fell on me with a disgruntled look. The urge to finally ask him all my questions rose but the irritation in his eyes made me hesitate. Now maybe wasn’t a good time.
“Sorry, I was looking for Cathwulf,” I blurted out, knowing he wouldn’t believe it.
“She’s in bed still, bad morning sickness,” he grumbled, folding his arms. “You smell like Flidais.”
I blushed. “She was helping me clean the herb room and I think Cathwulf has her keeping an eye on me too.”
Quillan snorted and looked towards where the front door opened. “I’m sure Flidais is quite all right with being ordered to stay by your side.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, frowning.
He shook his head and took a step back into his bedroom, as if realising he had said something that he shouldn’t have. His hand went to close the door but he paused. “I’m glad you’ve been sleeping better, Oria.”
Before I could say anything back, the door closed in my face. How had he known I’d been sleeping better? My cheeks were still burning, my thoughts drifting to the fact that I’d been sleeping with my nightgown next to my pillow the last few nights so I could smell his scent. It was beginning to fade now and I feared the nightmares would return. I continued to frown at Quillan’s bedroom door. He’d been so caring the night he’d given the nightgown back to me. While I’d often found Quillan to be a little on the short-tempered and grumpy side, he’d never been so with me. Quiet, yes. A little growly too. But his cold sarcasm and standoffish mood was new. The gentle male who had sat and comforted me in the bathtub, the one who had helped me find a way to sleep peacefully however odd the method may have been, had turned back into the big bad wolf that intimidated and scared me. I glared at the door now, cursing his mood swings.
The rumbling sound of a car engine caught my attention and I braced myself for being introduced to my new teacher. Turning away from Quillan’s room, I made my way back to the front of the house. Roarke was standing on the front porch, the door wide open and I knew Cathwulf would have moaned at him for letting the cold in. I stepped out and my Alpha gave me a smile in greeting. Ben was there too, out of respect the high-ranked of the pack would greet our new arrival. I wasn’t sure where to stand, as the omega I shouldn’t have really even been here. As a healer I should have been between Quillan and Ben, but I was in a strange sort of limbo right now. I was a healer in training but I hadn’t fought to gain any higher place in the pack. Flidais said it was time that I did but for that I needed more than my strange bursts of dominance, I needed to know how to fight.
A green jeep came into view and I could only just make out the shapes of two bodies in the car. Roarke leaned down from where I’d ended up glued to the spot.
“I believe the driver is the healer’s son, I’ve offered to let him stay here as well but he apparently has business to attend to in the city so you don’t have to worry about another stranger in the house,” Roarke informed me.
I was relieved at that. Yet another male wandering around the house was something I might have struggled with. I’d only just begun to get used to breakfast being so busy, even if I still ate in my room once I’d managed to grab food from the kitchen.
The Jeep pulled to a stop and I took my place next to Ben. The male that stepped out of the car had my jaw about falling to the floor. He was huge, taller than any Wulver I’d seen before but the way he helped his mother out of the car was gentle. My nose scrunched at the hot smell of arousal coming to my right. Ben was watching the male approach with heated eyes and the giant seemed to be just as taken with Roarke’s third. I shifted awkwardly on my feet, noting the way our Alpha rolled his eyes. As the pair approached, he straightened up and stepped off the porch to greet them. “Thank you for coming, you’re very welcome here. I’m Roarke and this is my third in command, Ben. I’m sorry my mate couldn’t be here, she’s not feeling well.”
The healer was an older female who held such a likeness to the female who had defended me against Tala, a female I knew was Arianna’s mother, that I almost gasped. They had the same soft eyes and gentle features.
“We’re more than happy to be here, I’m pleased to be able to pass on my knowledge,” she said, her eyes flicking to me with a smile. “You must be Oria, I’m Athena. This is my son, Liam.”
My head bowed in submission. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”
Roarke quickly motioned for the door, stepping inside. “Come in out of the cold, I’ll have someone bring your bags inside and put in a room for you.”
Liam’s lips quirked into a smirk as he walked inside, his arm brushing against Ben’s chest. “If it isn’t too much trouble, I’ve had a sudden change of plans and may need a room here after all.”
The blush that rushed to Ben’s cheeks was cute and I had to turn away to hide my smile. Even a blind person would be able to see what was going on here. Ben was a lucky wolf.
“It’s no trouble at all,” Roarke answered, his eyes moving knowingly between his third and Liam.
Ben gave me an almost panicked look, his blue eyes wide as Roarke led them both through to the living room. I was about to follow when Ben grabbed my arm, sending a jolt through me. I tried to hide my fear as I looked up at him, even though I was screaming inside for him to let me go.
“He was checking me out, right?” he asked in a hushed whisper, releasing my arm, much to my relief.
I nearly choked and my blush was just as red as his. No
body had ever asked me anything like that before and I was unsure of how to answer.
“I, uh…he was definitely looking,” I offered uselessly.
It seemed to appease Ben though because his worried expression broke out into a grin and he nodded to himself, rubbing the back of his neck. I watched, amused, as he spun on his heel and headed back outside. “I’ll bring their bags in.”
Shaking my hands to get rid of some nervous energy, I headed for the living room but ended up freezing by the door. If I was to learn, I had to get over my fears enough to be able to talk to my teacher but instincts were telling me to run and hide from the strangers in our safe place. I grabbed the handle then let go again, groaning internally. I could hear the murmur of their voices inside and fought with the voices in my head telling me to leave. Suddenly my back was buzzing with awareness and I whipped around to see Quillan watching me with an amused look.
“Take the step, Oria. This will be the hardest part, getting to know her. After you sit with her for a while, it’ll get easier. I can take you for a run after? It’s been a while since you’ve let your wolf out.”
And for good reason, I thought. Even with the width of the hall between us, I could feel the pull his wolf had on mine. My body relaxed despite the range of emotions his eyes on me created, my head ducking to avoid his gaze.
“A run would be nice,” I agreed, looking back at the door without making a move to enter.
Quillan’s hand went to my lower back, his touch burning through my top, and he gave me a gentle push as he opened the door. “We’ll go in together.”
I stepped in without being given much of a choice, curling my hands into fists in an attempt to stay calm. Quillan following behind me forced me to keep moving and he herded me towards the couch. I took my seat and was surprised when he sat beside me. Inhaling deeply, allowing Quillan’s scent to surround me, I relaxed almost immediately.
Athena smiled, her gaze flicking between me and the big bad wolf. “Your Alpha was just telling me about the wolf you helped a few days ago, and how you’ve been making tea to help your Alpha Female with morning sickness.”
My head jerked in an awkward nod. “I’ve been studying the books from healers of the past, some are hard to translate, but I do my best.”
Gods, I hated how high and squeaky my voice sounded, the way a lump of nerves sat in my throat. I must have looked like a frightened deer.
“Gaelic?” Athena asked.
I nodded again, picking at a stray thread on my skirt, needing to keep my fingers busy. Surely everyone could hear how my heart hammered in my chest?
“I can help you there. I’m glad you’ve been studying, it means we don’t have to start at the very beginning,” Athena continued. “But it’ll be hard work. I hope you’re ready…”
The way she trailed off and looked at me as though she was unsure had my wolf pushing forth. We couldn’t have this female doubt us. Nothing else mattered to me like this did. This was the one thing I had to cling onto; my work, my passion.
“I am ready,” I stated confidently, straightening up a little and doing my best to meet her kind eyes.
The burn of Quillan’s eyes on my face had me nervous again and I caught his gaze. He was smiling, the smallest of quirks at the edge of his lips. He was proud of me. He’d had the same look when he was praising the small she-wolf, Fenna, on hunting. I blushed, quickly looking back at my lap.
“Would you like to be shown to your rooms? My third, Ben, can help you settle in,” Roarke said, standing. He was smiling at me too, giving me a small nod of approval. Warmth spread though me, my own pride urging me on.
Athena’s son was quickly on his feet, smirking. “I’d like that, Mother?”
She shook her head, her bright green eyes still on me. “If it’s all right, I would like Oria to show me the clinic so I can familiarise myself and get to know my new student.”
Roarke looked to me as if asking if that was all right and I too got to my feet. “I can show you.”
Another look of pride, this time from my Alpha before he led Liam out to find Ben. Athena wound her arm through mine, her touch gentle as if she could sense my fear. Even though she had the vibe of a mother-wolf, all soft and loving, she was still a stranger. “Lead the way, dear.”
A small flutter of butterflies in my stomach at the idea of being alone with her had me faltering, tripping over my feet, but her hands kept me upright. I led her back through the house and outside, looking over my shoulder at the male who had become my shadow. Athena turned too and raised an eyebrow.
“Are you her mate, wolf?” she asked, making me choke on a breath.
Quillan shook his head, rising to his full height as the healer challenged him with her gaze. “Then I ask that you leave us to it. She’s in my charge now and we have much to discuss. I need her full attention.”
His lips peeled back in a show of fang that had me shrinking away, but Athena didn’t so much as blink. Her chin lifted and her eyes narrowed. I wished I could have been that brave. Quillan looked dangerous then, something unknown swirling in his eyes. His chest rumbled with the sound of his fur. “She is mine to protect.”
His words made my heart skip a beat while my wolf practically purred in my head. She was loving his display of dominance, his protectiveness over me. I had to remind myself with heart-wrenching sadness that it was simply because he’d been ordered to look after me.
“She has nothing to fear from me, wolf. We won’t be long. I’m sure if she needs you, you will hear her call,” Athena replied firmly, even as amusement shone in her gaze.
There was a power to this female too, one that had Quillan back down even as his glowing eyes told of his wolf’s want to fight back. I was still and silent as I watched the scene play out. I’d never seen Quillan back down to anyone but his Alpha, yet his head bowed slightly, even while he remained tense.
“You take care of her, healer,” Quillan growled with a deep warning that sent a shiver up my spine.
Athena chuckled and waved him away like a disobedient pup before she turned and started walking again. She truly didn’t fear him if she was happy to show him her back. I hesitated, my wolf urging me to press myself against the male who protected me. Quillan’s body was stiff and he looked towards the tree line, his hands shaking. I could see that he was struggling to hold back his wolf and I reacted on instinct. Going on tiptoe, I brushed my cheek against his in silent thanks, a sharp breath leaving me as the warmth of his skin touched mine. My hand hovered over his chest, too scared to touch, and heat flooded through me when he pressed his cheek more firmly against my own. My fur urged me to nip at his skin, to take the chance to taste and I couldn’t stop the small whine that slipped past my lips. His body stilled, pools of inky black searching my face when I pulled back.
I was shocked at my own behaviour and quickly spun around to catch up with Athena, who was watching us with a knowing glint in her eyes. My shoulders hunched, hair falling into place to hide me.
“I must apologise, Oria, I underestimated you. You come across so quiet and unsure, but your wolf is strong,” she mused, studying me a moment before her arm slipped back around mine.
In wolf form, such praise would have had my fur puffing up, tail held high. I’d only just started to realise I was so much more confident in my fur. It was easier to let that primal side seep through to help give me a boost now. I began to lead the way again, getting lost in my thoughts while Athena took in the territory. Quillan had been getting protective over me like I’d never seen him get over Cathwulf but Cathwulf had never needed protecting, not like I did. The idea of being Quillan’s mate as Athena had thought had sent an instinctual need to claim through my fur. But Quillan had said himself, he would never take a mate. And neither would I.
“Has the pack accepted your path to becoming their healer?” Athena suddenly asked me.
An uneasy laugh left me. “Most have, I think, according to my friends. There’s a few females that doubt my ability
to be any more than an omega, they think it’s disgusting that I should even try. They dislike me.”
“Some think themselves better than others. We have our high-ranked to keep peace and work to keep our pack safe. The younger generation forgets that physical strength doesn’t make one more than any other wolf,” Athena explained, giving me a comforting smile that turned into a teasing one. “Perhaps you also have something that they want.”
I nodded, even though I had no idea what I could possibly have that Tala would want. Roarke had said something similar to me about strength not being so important before, as had Cathwulf, but they were both strong wolves, they couldn’t understand.
“I was a little like you when I was a young she-wolf. I was shy and quiet. I’d rather submit than cause any confrontation but it was my work as a healer that brought out my truths. I was born in this pack, my sister and her children are still here. Once I realised what path I was meant to walk, I left to study under the healer down south and when he died, I took over. I’m now a high-ranked female with a handsome mate and a son. My family here aren’t omegas but they aren’t far from it and I was considered a runt at my birth. I struggled under the teeth and claws of the pack for many years before I started to push myself. My father said there was a fire in my soul that beat out the physical dominance of many wolves.
“I can see that spark in your eyes as well. It will take time to pull out that strength when you’ve resigned yourself to being weak, but we’ll get you there, Oria. You’re going to have to push yourself, and you’ll lose faith and want to give up, but you must keep going. It’s all well and good having the knowledge of healing, but to be The Healer, you must have the strength to stand against alphas.”
I was in complete awe now and unable to believe that this strong she-wolf had ever been anything like me in her past. It gave me hope and motivation. How great a feeling it would be if I proved my father wrong. Yet that alone couldn’t be my motivation. I needed to do this for myself as well.
Way Of The Wolf: Endeavour (The Wulvers Series Book 3) Page 10