Way Of The Wolf: Endeavour (The Wulvers Series Book 3)

by Rebecca Anne Stewart

  The sound of us filled the room, my cries becoming slurred as the heat built into a tight coil that threatened to explode and take everything with it. I wrapped my legs tighter around his waist, tilting my hips up to take as much of him as I could while I kissed along his jaw to where I’d marked him, teasing the now sensitive skin just to hear the sound of his low groan. I loved that my touch could elicit such a sound from my mate.

  Every time he filled me, he hit a spot that had the world blacking out and I panted as his pace quickened still. His hand slid down sweat-slicked skin until he reached where he wanted, and when his thumb brushed over the sensitive bundle of nerves at my core, I screamed. Sparks flashed before my eyes, stealing the very breath from me as my walls clenched tightly around Quillan’s hard length, urging him to join me in the throes of ecstasy.

  My legs were trembling as they fell from around Quillan’s waist, but still he moved wildly in me until he found his own release. The sound of my name growled from his lips sent another shiver through me as he spilled into my core and his fingers bruised the skin of my thigh that he gripped tight as he came undone. He stilled for a moment, biting his bottom lip in a way that made me groan until we were both completely spent.

  Panting, I gave him a lazy grin, my hand cupping his cheek. He grinned back then turned his head to kiss my wrist in the same affectionate way he’d done earlier before he moved his weight from me to lay on his back. I was still floating high, unable to form a coherent thought. Now I ached in an entirely different way. Something akin to a contented purr left me as I stretched out on the bed, feeling Quillan’s eyes trailing over my form.

  The force of my heat had finally calmed now that I was sated but I knew it would come back, and when it did, I would make sure we took our time with each other. I wanted to explore every inch of what was now mine, to find every spot that made him groan. Squeezing my thighs together as I envisioned my plan, the ache began to spread again. Quillan chuckled from next to me, drawing my attention. I blushed and rolled onto my side so I could see him.

  “So, did I prove it?” he asked, wrapping an arm around me to pull my body against his side.

  Tipping my head up, I frowned. “Prove what?”

  “That I’m not a coward,” he replied, a teasing glint in his eyes.

  I hummed, resting my head on his chest, still struggling to even think well enough to speak. Taking a few moments, I drew patterns over his chest, pondering over his question. Despite the teasing tone, I could sense that he was nervous of my answer. If anyone else had called him a coward, I was sure he would have had them by the throat, his instincts demanding he prove otherwise.

  “I never really thought you were a coward, Quillan. I was just angry and frustrated,” I murmured. “But I am glad I said it.”

  He laughed, his fingers tangling in my hair as he breathed in my scent, I smelled like him now. My mate.

  “Because I realised you’re the only one for me?” he joked, his lips brushing the shell of my ear and making me shiver.

  It was my turn to laugh and I shifted so I could see his face. “I don’t think that’s true. I’m hardly worthy of being the mate of a Beta, but even so I wouldn’t take that back. I’m glad you’re mine.”

  The furrowed brow wasn’t what I expected to see at my admission and I worried that he was regretting what we did. Had we acted too fast and without thought? Probably. Should we have discussed things before taking them so far that we could never take it back? Maybe. I didn’t want to drag Quillan down because I couldn’t stand by his side as Beta Female.

  “You continue to underestimate yourself. I’ve taken you as my mate, and I wish I could fight for you, but it’s up to you to prove to the pack you belong by my side as their Beta Female. I believe you can do it, many do, but you need to believe it too,” he explained, tucking a strand of white blonde hair behind my ear.

  I looked down, my own features creasing in a frown. More than anything I wished I could prove him right, him and the rest of the pack, but I wasn’t so sure. Even as my wolf urged me to puff myself up, I wanted to sink into the bed and hide. If I was challenged, I wouldn’t be able to hold my own. Quillan wouldn’t let any real harm come to me, I knew that, but it would be humiliating if I lost. More than anything, I didn’t want to disappoint him. Or myself.

  Strong fingers gripped my chin and forced my head up, my eyes clashing with Quillan’s for a moment. “It starts with us, Oria. It starts with you standing strong and meeting my eyes, and then you must never lower your gaze to any member of the pack except your Alpha pair.”

  I pulled away because of my lack of belief in his words. Quillan’s gaze was hard to hold because of the intensity I found in their dark depths but it wouldn’t do to cower away from my own mate. I wasn’t afraid of him anymore, not really, but he was still far more dominant than I was, and I was still unsure exactly where I stood with him, even if I was now his mate. This all felt too much like a dream I would wake up from, being in bed with the big bad wolf. Had my standing up to him really been all it took to make him change his mind? Fuck, we should never have done this. It was rash and stupid.

  “I have something I want to ask,” I said hesitantly, sitting up and pulling a blanket with me to hide my body, perhaps to change the subject, perhaps because I needed to know before anything else was said. “Why the sudden one-eighty? You told me you’d never take a mate, and I thought it was because you were still in love with Cathwulf. Then out of nowhere, after one fight, I’m sitting here as your mate. I know I haven’t made my want of you completely clear in the past but you must have known, everyone else did. I just don’t understand. Do you not love her anymore, or am I what you took because you couldn’t have what you really wanted?”

  I forced myself to watch him but I wished I hadn’t because my worst fears were confirmed in the flicker of pain and loss in his eyes. He reached out for me but I pulled my hand away, holding my breath in fear of making any sound of grief. I damned myself for giving in to my own arousal.

  Quillan sighed and leaned back against the headboard, closing his eyes before his face hardened. “I’m going to be completely honest with you. You deserve that much. When I’m near Cathwulf, she draws my wolf out, releasing him from the cage. He’s strong, hungry, and unpredictable so he can match her. When I’m with you, I don’t need the cage. My wolf is peaceful, watchful, protective. You both bring out two polar opposites, but Oria, I’d rather not need to worry about whether or not I’m in control…and I don’t need to worry about that with you.”

  My heart shattered in my chest, a pit forming in my stomach that threatened to eat up the last rays of hope I’d had. There were no tears though, just a sense of loss. I’d felt what it would be like to be Quillan’s, to have his heart completely for my own but as quickly as it came, it was torn from my fingers.

  “You do love her,” I stated quietly, trying to come to terms with being mated to someone who’d always see me as second best.

  “I thought I did for a while. Until I found you curled up, fully clothed under the shower, soaking and shivering, because at that moment I wanted to tear the world apart for you. To find what hurt you and destroy it, to hide you away so nothing could ever hurt you like that again. That’s when I decided I’d never take a mate because the only one I’d take would be you and I could never subject you to me in fear of me being the one that hurt you. Yesterday I realised that I was doing the very thing I promised not to do, I was hurting you by staying away. I was being a coward,” he finished, shame making his voice crack. “I only hope you can forgive me for being such a weak male.”

  A bark of nervous laughter left me and Quillan’s shocked expression had me covering my mouth with a hand. Even I wasn’t exactly sure why laughter had been my reaction and it probably wasn’t very comforting to my new mate. I wondered if I really was blind and Cathwulf was right. I’d never been able to look up when he was in the room before, I’d made my own assumptions about who his attention had been on. I’d a
voided and hidden from Quillan as much as he had me. But I’d already known I was a coward.

  “I’m sorry,” I said quickly, shuffling forward so I could take his hand in mine. “I was so sure your hesitation was because of Cathwulf, I could never have imagined that being the reason.” I laughed again, unable to help myself and Quillan’s head tilted in a puppy-like manner as if he were trying to gauge whether my reaction was good or not.

  “I’ll forgive you if you can forgive me,” I finally said when I could feel his concern. “We’ve both made mistakes, we’ve both tried to run and hide. All we can do is start fresh, as mates.”

  He looked relieved then, his whole body losing that harsh edge it always had. I smiled as I watched him, sinking into his warmth. This was the real Quillan I was seeing now.

  “As mates,” he repeated, before tugging me until I fell onto his chest so his lips could meet mine in a hungry kiss.

  Immediately, my body yearned for him again. He breathed in deeply, letting the breath out in a soft rumble as he caught the scent of my desire. He knew what I needed, what I craved. My hand trailed down his body, my eyes never leaving his even as tentative fingers brushed against his already hardening length. His arm tightened around me and I was amazed by his reaction to my touch, as unsure as I was. I stroked him slowly, holding my breath from nerves until his hand wrapped around mine to guide my movements.

  My thighs pressed together to ease the throbbing that had started up again as I pleasured my mate. His eyes widened as I shifted to my knees and began to kiss my way down over his hip. He made a move as if to stop me but a low growl from me had his hand dropping to his side again. Quillan was mine, and I wanted to taste what was now mine.

  When my mouth lowered onto him, I heard the thump of his head falling back against the headboard, excitement filling me. His fingers were in my hair again, making my eyes flutter shut and I allowed him to take control once more. I was a little timider now that I could feel his eyes burning into me as I bobbed my head, mesmerised by the feel of him, loving that he was all mine. His hips bucked up and he murmured something to the gods, words that had my legs trembling. His fingers guided me to move faster, my tongue stroking along sensitive flesh until he tensed and growled, coming undone. My fingers tightened around him as the taste of him exploded on my tongue and I swallowed all he had to offer. His scent was thoroughly on my skin now, on me, in me.

  I sat up with flushed skin, moaning as he kissed me deeply, and I was sure he could taste the essence of himself on my tongue. His eyes were almost a solid gold now, his wolf pushing forth, and I swallowed down a small flicker of fear that grew as his feral nature filled the air. His hands gentled on my hips, fingers rubbing soothing circles until I knew once more he could never hurt me.

  “Run with me,” he demanded suddenly, his teeth nipping my bottom lip.

  Squirming, I nodded. My wolf was getting more and more frustrated. Instincts demanded our fur meet as mates. Even though I’d burnt off a lot of energy, my heat still burned through me, and a run in the snow would be good. Then I remembered what was out there and stilled. “What about my father?”

  I hated how small and weak my voice sounded and I couldn’t bring myself to meet Quillan’s eyes.

  “Do you trust me, Oria?”

  Nodding, I looked up to see the feral side of my mate baring itself for me to see. He leaned down again, teeth nipping at the mark on my shoulder. I melted against him.

  “I’m your mate. I won’t allow any harm to come to you, I’ll keep you safe. I want to run with my female, Oria. To chase you as is tradition and take you when I catch you. No other male will come near you, I’ll make sure of it.”

  There was no way I could have said no. Gentle growls against my throat coaxed out my wolf and comforted any fears I still had. I’d always been safe with Quillan. The idea of running from him as he chased me sent a thrill of exhilaration through my body. He helped me up from the bed and gave me a competitive grin before we both darted downstairs. My skin gave way to fur the second the front door opened and I barely registered the cold as I began to run. My strides were strong and confident, tail held high to give Quillan a teasing glimpse of what would be his when he caught me.

  Chapter 13

  Reminded

  Quillan slipped from my grip, ignoring the whine of protest from me as he stretched. My eyes raked over him, my wolf rumbling appreciatively at the signs on his body that I’d left. I’d tried to seduce him again but even the sound of my fur wasn’t enough to tempt him back to bed and when I huffed, he turned to face me.

  “We’ve barely left the bed in two days and I’m Beta, there’s duties that I’ve ignored and that you need to get back to. Athena will be returning to her pack soon and you still have things to learn. We have to go home, and when I see our Alpha, I want you by my side,” Quillan explained as he pulled on his jeans, hiding his body from my hungry eyes.

  I sighed, knowing he was right but our days of nonstop mating had left me drained and deliciously aching. Leaving Sam’s cottage to return home was nerve-wracking and I worried about where my place would be. Would I still live in my own room or would Quillan want my stuff moved to his room? Maybe he liked having his space, even though I was now his mate. Perhaps sharing his space with me was another step we’d need time before taking. My wolf growled her dislike of that and my emotions must have poured through our new bond because Quillan was watching me with all too knowing eyes. We’d done things a little backwards, mating before discussing anything, before even really getting to know what the other wanted. Instincts and baser needs had taken over when we’d made the move to claim each other but that suited me just fine. I’d never been one for deep discussions anyway and I knew very well that Quillan was a male of action rather than words. We’d done things our way. But our way had brought with it a few obstacles to overcome.

  I sat up, holding the blanket against me. I knew that showing our new relationship to the pack was something I needed to do, but that in itself would come with challenges. Tala wouldn’t be pleased to have a wolf like me now above her in rank, she would challenge my position and I needed to be able to hold it. Our mating would be kept a secret for a little while, until I’d learned a little self-defence, a little more about what it meant to be Beta Female. Quillan and I had discussed that last night when I’d voiced my fears. Challenges would most likely be fought in wolf form and I knew a little of fighting like that from playing with Cathwulf. Though as Quillan had pointed out, that wasn’t a real fight.

  “I need to start training with Weylin,” I said quietly, slowly sliding from the bed to start dressing too.

  It was an odd sensation, feeling Quillan’s sudden flare of worry through our newly formed bond, but he couldn’t argue with me. He’d admitted already that he wanted to fight my fights for me and he struggled with the knowledge that he couldn’t. Little did he know that I wanted to learn to fight for more reasons than just so I could stand up against challenges that’d come my way, but because I knew one way or another, my father would come for me. This time I would be ready.

  “Your train of thought is beginning to concern me, my mate,” Quillan rumbled and I could feel the burn of his gaze on my back.

  “You can’t hear my thoughts, Quillan,” I rebuffed, turning to make Sam’s bed, cringing a little at the mess of it.

  Last night, Quillan and I had finished the last of the ice cream that Flidais had brought for me and my cheeks flared red as I remembered how Quillan had shown me things I didn’t know could be done with ice cream. I’d definitely clean her sheets before she came back.

  Quillan hummed but said nothing more, perhaps because he knew that any reason to have me learn self-defence was a good reason, or maybe because he was sure he’d be able to protect me before I even needed to fight. I understood Cathwulf’s frustration with how protective Roarke was now. A strong arm wound around my waist, pinning me against a muscled chest. Quillan leaned down to inhale next to my neck, his lips pressing a
gentle kiss on his mark and I closed my eyes. His presence surrounded me and I breathed him in, finding comfort in the smell of flames. It really was an odd scent for a wolf but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

  “Let’s deal with one thing at a time. For now, we are going to meet our Alpha pair and have your things put in my room. Are you ready?” he asked, his voice dropping low.

  If only I could think straight with him so close to me and my mate chuckled as I stuttered, “Yes.”

  ***

  The house was quiet when we got in and I was glad of that. We walked side by side through the hallway to get to Roarke’s office where the soft mumbling of our Alpha pair’s voices could be heard. Where I would have taken a moment to try and conjure up some nerve, Quillan didn’t bother. He walked in as soon as he knocked, not waiting for Roarke to shout that we could enter and my heart jumped to my throat.

  “Quillan, where the hell have you been? I’ve been—”

  Our Alpha’s tirade stopped when I appeared from behind Quillan, my fingers fidgeting with my skirt. Roarke stared with an open mouth while Cathwulf leaned against the desk with a grin. Her eyes lingered over the mating mark on my shoulder but Roarke seemed to take a while longer to figure things out.

  “Finally!” she cried out, running to pull me into a hug that I returned with a laugh.

  Roarke was still staring in shock, his eyes flicking between Quillan and I while his mate gave mine a smile. “I’m glad you’ve both finally seen sense, congratulations!”