I bristled a little but understood her frustration. At least she couldn’t scold me about it anymore. Quillan and I had finally admitted what everyone else had already known for weeks, but perhaps we’d moved a little faster than expected.
“I hope you can forgive my absence, Alpha. I was tending to my mate.” Quillan reached out to tug me against his side, not bothering to hide the smug grin curling his lips.
My cheeks flushed a bright red and I could have face palmed at Quillan’s lack of propriety. Though it wasn’t like neither of them could smell what we’d been doing, I wished we could have pretended otherwise to save me from embarrassment. Cathwulf moved behind her mate, leaning down to whisper something by his ear that had his mouth snapping shut. For a second, I worried he would scold Quillan for abandoning his duties for me but instead his face broke out into a smile and he stood.
“Then I will be the second to congratulate you, both of you,” he announced, smiling at me.
I smiled back, relaxing and meeting his gaze. I was surprised when he came to place his hand on my shoulder and squeeze. “Our new Beta Female.”
“If I can hold it,” I murmured, uncertainty filling me.
“You will hold it,” Roarke stated firmly. “I know you will,”
His confidence gave my own a boost because I knew Roarke only spoke the truth. It had taken me years to get to where I was and I refused to let this be all I could be. Nobody would take what I’d achieved away from me, not Tala, not my father, not anyone.
“If I can take today to help move Oria’s stuff to my room, I promise I will get back to my job tomorrow. I also want to be in charge of her training, there’s a limited amount of time before wolves will become aware of her new position and I want her to be ready.”
Quillan’s words were said more out of respect for our Alpha than anything else because I knew he was only really stating what was going to happen rather than asking for permission. I doubted he asked permission for much.
Roarke chuckled as he wandered back to the large chair behind his desk. “I think I can allow that but Weylin has already agreed to help in training Oria, I think it’d be good to have him joining you as well, if you’re comfortable with that?”
I nodded, giving him a wry smile. “I think I’ll need all the help I can get.”
I only hoped there really was time. Quillan would try to hide our relationship as long as he could to give me time to train and I knew Cathwulf and Roarke would do their best to keep our secret too. But wolves weren’t stupid. It all might have just been my paranoia too. There was always the chance the pack would accept my new position, which was what these wolves believed, I just wasn’t so sure.
Cathwulf clapped her hands together with a grin, catching my attention. “I’ll help you move your things.”
I grinned at her excitement that was almost tangible but the slamming of the front door broke our moment and Sam’s voice ringing through the house had me once again blushing furiously.
“Oria, I know you’re in here! What the hell have you been doing in my bed?”
Quillan snorted, making Roarke give him a disapproving look while I covered my face with my hands. Of all the times she could have come home early, why did it have to be before I hid earlier activities? Quillan didn’t seem the least bit ashamed, in fact he’d straightened up with a smug expression.
“In Sam’s bed, really?” Roarke scolded, even as his lips twitched in amusement.
I turned as Sam stomped into the room and she bobbed her head in greeting. “Alphas.”
“It’s good to have you back, Sam. You’ve been missed,” Roarke said to a fuming Sam who ignored him to point an accusing finger at me.
Quillan tensed next to me and I could feel his need to protect, but I placed a hand against his arm, because in all honesty, we deserved Sam’s annoyance.
“You’re coming to change my bedsheets and scrub down wherever else you and Big Bad have been canoodling, you hear?” she raged.
“Of course,” I said quickly, a little terrified of the short human until she burst out laughing.
I breathed a sigh of relief and Quillan relaxed. Still I felt bad, but I was glad she wasn’t as mad as she’d made out. Hopefully the use of ‘Big Bad’ would slip by Quillan because the embarrassment of admitting I’d given him said nickname might be enough to make me wish the ground open and swallow me up. I’d suffered enough embarrassment today.
“You owe me a fiver, Alpha Female,” Sam said smugly, looking over her shoulder. “I told you they’d be together by the time I came back. Always listen to Sam.”
Roarke and Quillan both gave Cathwulf disapproving looks as she muttered something and raked around her pocket to take out the money that Sam snatched up with a grin before she looked at me again. “Though I’m not mad, there’s no way I’m touching those sheets.”
“I’ll come by to clean them up,” I promised, smiling. “I’m glad you’re back.”
“It’s good to be back, though it was nice to see Saba and Zale again. Things are still a little tense up there, Robert did a lot of damage to that pack,” Sam sighed, shaking her head. “The number of pups that would cower at any raised voices was difficult to see.”
My heart clenched. I understood that reaction but I knew Saba and Zale would be good for them all. Saba’s softness would help those pups while Zale’s strength would keep the rest in line. Quillan’s hand found mine, offering silent comfort that I was grateful for. Thinking about traumatised pups that had been through anything like I had dampened my mood.
“Let’s go pack, Oria,” Cathwulf suggested, offering me a smile that I struggled to return.
A slight nudge from my mate had me moving and Cathwulf linked her arm with mine as she led me out the room. I looked over my shoulder, frowning when Quillan didn’t follow, but it seemed Roarke had something to discuss with him because when Sam followed us, he asked her to shut the door.
“I’d offer to help but I’m thoroughly exhausted and I’m going to raid your fridge before I head home,” Sam informed us, winking before she dragged herself towards the kitchen.
Cathwulf chuckled and then proceeded to pull me towards the stairs and to my room, probably eager to try and drag all the details of my time with Quillan from me. As soon as my bedroom door was shut, she turned on me with a wicked grin. “Now I know why you were oh so eager to stay at Sam’s.”
I rolled my eyes, trying my best not to break out into a grin as I took clothes off hangers to be ready to carry downstairs. “That wasn’t the reason, but I’m glad it worked out that way. You wouldn’t have gotten any sleep.”
She laughed loudly, her eyes shining in amusement and I finally allowed myself to outwardly show the delight I was feeling. It had finally hit that Quillan was truly all mine.
“I’m hoping this means he pleased you, you know…sexually.”
I snorted, eyeing her sitting on my bed while I took my few belongings and piled them together on the floor.
“Yes, my Alpha Female, your Beta was very sexually pleasing,” I drawled, knowing she wanted to ask far more intimate questions that I’d refuse to answer.
She stared at me and I stared back, blinking. Suddenly she sighed and dropped her hands to the bed in apparent exasperation. “Really, are you going to make me keep asking questions until I get all the information? How did it happen? When did it happen? How many times did it happen?”
I tried to keep a straight face as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at me and I wondered what the rest of the pack would think if they knew how childish their Alpha Female could be. Of course I could understand her intense interest when only a few days before I’d sworn off all males, when for as long as she’d known me I’d cowered away whenever a male was close.
“Flidais kissed me—”
“She what!”
I gave her a look that told her if she wanted answers, she would need to wait till I’d finished the story for questions and her mouth snapped shut as she motioned fo
r me to carry on.
“She came over with ice cream and we were watching a movie, and she kissed me when she knew Quillan was watching. She was trying to stake a claim. He came barging in all big and bad but I…I guess I sort of told them both off for treating me like a toy…” I trailed off, looking up from the top I was folding to look at my friend. “She submitted to me, Cathwulf.”
She was silent for a moment, probably making sure this was a point I was allowing her to interrupt and she nodded slowly. “I did wonder about her feelings for you but I thought she respected both you and Quillan too much to act like that. She knew very well how things were between he and you. As for her submitting to you, I’m not overly surprised. I’ve seen your flashes of fang, I’ve felt the dominance in you.”
And now I’d felt just how strong it was when I had the confidence. If only I felt it all the time then I might not be so worried about Tala and her followers. Shaking that fear off for a later time, I looked at my pitiable amount of belongings on the floor. Was that really all I owned?
“Anyway,” I went on, flopping next to Cathwulf on the bed. “Flidais left with her tail between her legs and Quillan refused to leave. I can’t even remember what we spoke about really. He invited me to his sister’s, and I’m still not sure how a sister popped into the picture, but I guess I’ll find out. After that he got up to leave and I snapped, I’d had enough of us dancing around each other. I called him a coward.”
Cathwulf snorted. “I bet he liked that.”
I smiled, getting lost in the memory. “He kissed me to prove he wasn’t and maybe we got carried away and acted without really thinking, but one way or another we spent the next few days in bed and he was mine.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering the words that had been whispered during our softer moments. It wasn’t until I opened my eyes again to see Cathwulf smiling at me that I realised I too was smiling.
“This is all I ever wanted for you, you know; to see you happy, coming into yourself, to see you with someone who loves you. To have you believe you deserve to be loved,” she said softly, her fingers brushing over my hair.
“You think he loves me?”
A flurry of emotions flashed over her features, bemusement, frustration, anger, followed by an eye roll and a huff of breath. “Just as I thought you were both finally seeing! You do astound me. Of course he fucking loves you, Oria. It’s Quillan, do you really think he’d take a mate so lightly?”
I shook my head. Quillan was all instinct and wolf, and while that would drive him to take any mate worthy of being by his side, there was the man that was chivalrous. He’d only take a mate he knew he’d be happy with for as long as he lived, he’d only take a mate that would be happy with him. I loved Quillan, even when I was terrified of him, I knew I’d never look at another male like I looked at him.
“Next time you see him, you should tell him that you love him. Though I’m honestly surprised it never came up in the last three days. You and Quillan will probably be the death of me,” she joked, nudging me. “Come on, let’s get your stuff downstairs,”
“Is it really a good idea for me to move into his room if we’re trying to hide our relationship from the pack?” I asked, as if that excuse would fly past Cathwulf.
“I know you’re nervous, but if I have to move your stuff all by myself, I will. Only those who go near the bedrooms will really notice, and apart from Roarke and I, that’s really only Athena, Liam, and Ben. Ben won’t say a word to anyone if asked not to by you, he’s rather fond of you,” she said before smirking. “His room isn’t far from Quillan’s, perhaps you can try to outcry each other during sex.”
I shook my head, trying to give my best disapproving look only to let out a laugh. “If only everyone knew what a dirty mind you had, Cathwulf.”
She grinned. “So what are you going to do now?”
Giving her a determined look, I said, “I’m going to train with Weylin and Quillan. I’m going to be Beta Female and Healer.”
Chapter 14
Respect
The training hall was brand new and fully equipped. The room Quillan and I stood in was covered in blue mats and stank of sweat, which made it feel like it was difficult to suck in a proper breath; but that could have been due to the slow building panic attack. My fingers flexed by my side and I couldn’t help but chew nervously on the inside of my cheek until I could taste copper on my tongue. I’d seen members of the pack train before but I could never watch for long. Despite knowing that they meant each other no real harm, built-in instinct told me to stay far away from violence. The sight of blood and sounds of pain were too much for me to handle, but here I was about to take part. Luckily Quillan promised I would be the only one training here today. Weylin and he had decided it would be best to keep things private for now. I was glad of that. I didn’t want wolves to watch me struggle and see weakness.
“Breathe, Oria,” Quillan instructed from next to me.
It was only then I realised I’d been holding my breath. It left my chest in a heavy whoosh and Quillan rubbed my shoulder. “There’s nothing to worry about. If you need to stop, we’ll stop. You don’t have to do this.”
But I did have to. Or at least, I had to try. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t make an effort. It wasn’t just the fear of throwing a fist that was getting me worked up. I was wearing tight fitting sports leggings that clung to my figure like a second skin and I didn’t like how on show it made me feel. Unfortunately, it was all Brighid had to lend me on such short notice. I can do this. The bang of the double doors swinging open made me jump and Quillan twisted defensively until he realised it was simply Weylin entering the room. My frazzled nerves were playing havoc on my mate as his wolf sensed my discomfort. I forced myself to try and calm my breathing, focussing on Quillan’s scent and the strength he exuded. Weylin’s eyes flicked over us and I felt my shoulders hunch in instinctual submission. Dominance flowed from this older male in intimidating waves that had me cowering slightly behind Quillan.
Much to my surprise, Weylin gave me a big smile and bowed his head. “Beta, Beta Female.”
“Weylin, thank you for taking the time,” Quillan greeted, his hand against the curve of my back, forcing me to step up beside him. I stumbled and finally managed to lift my head to see Weylin still smiling at me. He kept his distance and I was pleased he seemed to understand how I felt, what I needed. “I know you’re nervous. We’ll take it easy today, I promise.”
I bobbed my head in an awkward nod, my fingers threading and fidgeting in front of me, and kept my gaze on his shoulder instead of his face. I could feel his eyes studying me and knew I must have looked pathetic next to a powerful male like Quillan who always held himself tall, head held high. He brimmed with confidence and I trembled in his shadow. At least I wished right now that I was in his shadow instead of made to stand next to him like I could possibly be his equal.
“Why don’t we start with how you stand?” Weylin suggested. “A good stance is a powerful thing.”
I blinked in confusion, looking up at my mate, who only gave me an encouraging nod as he walked to stand next to Weylin where he could watch me. His heated gaze only made me that much more nervous. They were both scrutinising, eyes trailing up and down my form, analysing my flaws.
“How I stand?” I questioned quietly, tucking a stray strand of hair back behind my ear, wishing I’d worn it down so I could hide away. I wasn’t sure what my stance had to do with learning to defend myself but Quillan didn’t question it, so I trusted in their judgement, willing to take in everything either male told me.
“To be a healer you have to stand against the strongest of wolves and make them bend to your will, much like an alpha does. You need to have their trust and their respect. Make them bow to your will even if you’re not the most dominant in the room. There are situations with injured wolves that mean you must be in charge, your orders followed, or lives could be lost,” Weylin explained.
I swallowed.
I’d never thought of it like that but now the weight of responsibility seemed to sit heavy on my shoulders, pushing me down. My head bowed. “How can I do that? I’m not dominant. I’m not strong.”
Weylin chuckled, his aura gentle. “It’s not with dominance or strength you’ll manage this but with their respect. Their respect of your position and your ability to tend to their wounded. I don’t expect that you will need to use your skills as a fighter. I trust that the pack already respects you but it will help you learn how to handle yourself so you exude confidence.”
“Why do I need to learn how to fight then?” I greatly wished I didn’t have to, despite how determined I was now I was in the room, every muscle in my body still screamed at me to flee. I shouldn’t be here.
“You need to learn some self-defence, as does everyone in the pack. I think deep down, you want to be able to fight. I can see that in you. But in learning how to fight, I can teach you how to stand. I’m going to teach you how to hold yourself. You’re a tall female, Oria, but you hide it by slumping. You make yourself small so you can hide. I’m going to reveal that fierceness inside so your wolf can help you carry yourself as you should.”
I mulled over that, trying to find the courage to continue, and when I nodded, Quillan gave me a proud look. With my confidence somewhat growing, Weylin began to guide me through a few simple defensive moves, using Quillan as a prop. What to do if held from behind, how to escape certain holds, how to punch and kick without stumbling or hurting myself. He taught me to find my centre of balance, to listen to the way a wolf’s body moves to find signs of how they will attack. For an hour we went over the same moves again and again until Weylin was confident I knew them. I was sweating by the end, my muscles aching from being used like they never had been before. It was a good ache though, one that filled me with pride and satisfaction. After I managed to catch my breath and straighten up again, Weylin nodded. “You did good. You’re a natural.”
Way Of The Wolf: Endeavour (The Wulvers Series Book 3) Page 16