“No!” I yelled, lunging for the door, only to be yanked back again by Flidais.
I wouldn’t leave my mate. I wouldn’t hide inside while he fought my own father. He’d already been injured and I should be by his side, watching his back.
“It’s too dangerous, Oria,” she argued firmly, keeping her arm tight around my waist even as I wriggled and reached out for the door handle.
“My mate and my father are out there fighting, I have every right!” I demanded, managing to squirm out of Flidais’ grip.
She sighed, rubbing her head and glancing up at Roarke and Cat before moving to stand between me and the door. Her stance widened, her chin jutting up. A challenge. My hackles rose, a growl building in my chest.
“You will let me out. You can’t keep me in here,” I snapped, shifting my weight offensively even though the last thing I wanted to do was have to fight my way out. I wouldn’t win, not against Flidais.
Cat looked away as I gave her a pleading look and betrayal squeezed at my chest. Clenching my jaw, I decided I didn’t care. I didn’t need her permission. Turning, I sidestepped Flidais, who let me past. She wouldn’t fight me either. My hand grasped the handle, and just as I was about to pull, Roarke growled his warning. It stopped me in my tracks.
“I agree with my Beta and Flidais, Oria. Your presence would only exacerbate the situation. Stay inside until it’s been dealt with,” he ordered, his tone soft but firm. “You can see your father later. You’ve got to think of the safety of those trying to keep him under control.”
My gaze met his in shock. He was the one that had told me to keep my chin up and face my fears and now that my main fear was just behind the door, attacking my mate, he demanded I hide. His eyes narrowed, his head lifting until I was sure this was my Alpha standing before me. “Don’t make me put you in your place, Oria.”
“My place is out there with them,” I rebuffed, straightening to my full height, hands shaking with the amount of strength it took to stay that way. I’d never questioned the orders of my Alpha before and every instinct screamed at me to back down. Would Roarke really punish me? Did I want to push and find out?
“Oria, don’t,” Cathwulf warned, staying by her mate’s side.
My wolf whined in my head and a part of me knew I was being stubborn so I let out a breath and tipped my head, baring my throat in submission to my Alpha pair. The power that beat against me pulled back and I was finally able to lift my head again.
“I understand this is difficult for you but don’t let your emotions get the better of you. You will bow to me, you’ll respect my orders just like every other member of my pack. It’s my job to keep you safe,” Roarke stated, holding my gaze before his expression gentled. “I just want you safe.”
I nodded my understanding, bowing willingly this time. Drained, I had no will to keep fighting them on this. “I’m sorry.”
“Will you take Cathwulf upstairs and make sure she’s comfortable? Flidais and I will make sure your mate is all right and that your father is taken safely to the cells, okay?”
“Of course,” I whispered, unable to look any of them in the eyes now, filled with humiliation that scorched my cheeks.
Flidais squeezed my arm as she moved past me to the door, and much to my shock, Roarke bent down to press his cheek to mine. I stilled, but Cathwulf smiled and suddenly my eyes were tearing up. His stubble scratched at my cheek and his scent wound around me.
“Family protect each other, my sister,” Roarke murmured gently before nudging me towards his mate and quickly slipping out the door.
I flinched at the growls from outside and when pain flared along my side, I knew something had happened to Quillan. Cat gripped my hand, cupping my cheek. “Let’s go up before we both keel over.”
Letting her lead me upstairs, I was still shocked over the affection shown towards me. When we sat on the bed and Cat turned the TV on, I touched my cheek.
“I thought he would be furious with me,” I mumbled. “For challenging you both.”
Cathwulf laughed and shook her head. “I think he was more surprised than angry at you. I’ve never seen you challenge a higher ranked wolf before in my life, except Quillan. He’s maybe even a little proud, just don’t make a habit of it.”
I half smiled at her teasing. “He called me sister.”
She smiled back, reaching out to take my hand. Oddly, I felt a little better, more at home, safe. There had always been a wall between myself and my Alpha, but that had suddenly disappeared as soon as his cheek had touched mine. I was finally beginning to understand what being pack really meant, what being taken care of really meant, why having an Alpha pair and hierarchy was so vital to our survival.
“You’re my sister, Oria, so you’re his. Not to mention Quillan is his brother, that makes you Roarke’s sister twice. The four of us have lost so much in our lives, but together we have gained so much too. We’re family. I hope you see that now,” she said softly. “You’ll be my pup’s aunt.”
My smile grew, a little part of my soul mending. “I see all that now.”
I helped my friend lay back against the pillows, grinning as she tugged my hand to her bump to feel little kicks that distracted me from what was going on outside. It amazed me how strong they were, how her belly moved with each one. We sat in silence for a while together after that, my hand resting on her bump while I got lost in my own thoughts. I hadn’t heard anyone come inside but the sounds of fighting had stopped.
“You’re going to talk to him, aren’t you?” Cat suddenly asked, her eyes on whatever TV show was on.
“I have to,” I replied, knowing she was talking about my father.
She nodded but her face was creased in concern. “Do you want me to be there?”
I sighed. I did want her to be there, or Quillan, but I knew I had to do this on my own. For closure. To heal. It would be a fight to get Quillan to agree to let me go alone but it wasn’t his decision to make. I didn’t need to try and figure out how to answer because when I looked up, I could see the understanding in her eyes.
“Just be careful please and come find me after if you need to. I think I’ll be stuck in this bed for a while, my ankles and back are aching.” She chuckled.
“I will. I hope he’s more himself than he just was. Hearing him shout my mother’s name was…hard. He started doing that a lot towards my last few months at home. He thought I was her. In a way it was good, he wasn’t filled with rage and grief when he forgot she was dead. But he…because he thought I was her, he would try…” I swallowed, unable to finish. Those were memories that were locked away so tightly they didn’t even make it into my dreams. But I was lost in those memories now; of the times he would stroke my cheek and pull me close, lean in for a kiss. I flinched when Cathwulf’s thumb stroked over the back of my hand on instinct, jerking back to reality with a sharp gasp of terror. My heart skipped a beat and I had to take a deep breath to calm myself down. I was here, not there.
“I’m sorry, Oria, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay,” I replied, forcing a smile that I knew wouldn’t fool anybody.
“He didn’t ever, um, he didn’t—” Even Cathwulf couldn’t get the words out.
I shook my head quickly, resting back against the pillows beside her. “When I would start to fight him off, it brought him back. Then he’d remember he’d lost her and it was my fault and he’d revert back to violence. I don’t know how I would have coped otherwise. I think that would have been worse.”
Her eyes searched my face, soft and full of concern. “And what if he doesn’t remember now?”
“It won’t matter. I just want to say what I have to say and go. It doesn’t matter if he understands but I need to get these things off my chest. Is that silly?” I fretted, looking up at her.
“Of course not. It makes perfect sense and you’re brave to even think of doing it. But if it does become too much, there’d be no shame,” she promised.
I let out a relieved
breath, feeling more confident about what I wanted to do. “Thank you, Cathwulf. I know this is going to help me. This is one of the last steps I need to take for myself.”
***
It was late when the bedroom door creaked open and my mate finally came in. I watched the light from the hall spill into the bedroom for a brief second before he shut the door carefully as if trying not to wake me. But I was already awake. I hadn’t been able to sleep as my thoughts had circled around what could be happening. He grunted in pain, bracing himself against the cupboard as he made his way to the en-suite. I sat up, noting the way he moved.
He was hurt.
“Quillan,” I breathed out, sitting up.
He paused after flicking the bathroom light on and turned to give me a strained smile. “Go back to sleep, my mate. I’m just going for a shower.”
I wondered why he thought I believed him when the smell of blood was thick in the air now. Quillan had such a habit of getting himself injured that a small flare of frustration flickered through me. Shoving the covers off, I pushed myself to my feet and walked over to him. He was blocking too much of the bathroom light for me to make out more than his silhouette, so placing my hand gently on his arm, I guided him into the bathroom. He grunted again and I cringed when I could see the full extent of his injuries. Nothing too bad, a few bleeding scratches and dark bruises on his face, but the sight of it made my wolf growl in my head.
“My father did this?”
A stupid question perhaps, for who else could have done it, but I needed to hear him say it anyway. He nodded, leaning against the sink and looking down at himself with a wry smile. “He really didn’t want to come back with us.”
I wasn’t as amused, raking around the cupboard for the small first aid kit I knew Quillan kept in here. It annoyed me how unconcerned he seemed to be about his injuries when he was still healing from the stag’s antlers. I took the chance to check on that too but was happy to see no more than a little green and yellow bruising and pale scar. He stood still while I cleaned blood and dirt from his cuts, inspecting each one until satisfied he didn’t need stitches…again.
“I attacked him first.”
I looked up at him in shock, having not expected such an admission but I was glad he did. Chucking dirty wipes into the bin, I asked, “Why?”
He was quiet again, as if wondering whether or not to tell me, his brow furrowed and eyes distant. I didn’t push him, I could tell he was upset about whatever had happened. My father was good with words and I had no doubt he could make the calmest and most peaceful wolf attack. Quillan cleared his throat and looked away from me.
“We found him by the river and asked him to come peacefully. Told him if he didn’t, we’d go about it the hard way. He laughed. It was like he didn’t think we would, or even could. He caught your scent on me and got more restless. Then he asked me if I was the one that made a whore of you,” he told me, his voice low.
I flinched a little. “Oh.”
“I snapped. I shouldn’t have but I did. I attacked him just like he wanted, causing the others to scatter. We almost lost him in the chaos. Because of me he almost got away.”
The shame in his words broke my heart and I shook my head quickly, taking his hands in mine. “Any wolf would have taken such an insult to their mate to heart, Quillan—”
“But they wouldn’t have attacked. I’ve no control, especially when it comes to keeping you safe.” He looked so ashamed of himself, so furious that he’d fallen for my father’s trick.
“And you did keep me safe. You brought him here. He’s locked away. He can’t hurt anyone now because of you,” I argued, sliding my hands up his arms, over his shoulders until one hand cupped his cheek to force him to look at me. “You keep me safe, even from myself.”
His uncertain eyes met mine and I smiled before kissing him deeply. Tension left him as my lips met his and his arms wound round my waist so I was pressed flush against his naked body. I didn’t care that my jammies would be covered in dirt and blood, all I cared about was him. I wished he could feel what I felt, how in awe of his strength and courage I was, trying to pour all that through our bond until he never doubted himself again.
When we finally pulled apart, we were both breathing hard. It had been a long day for both us and we’d been apart, worrying about the other. Stepping out of his arms, I dropped my nightgown to the floor and felt my skin heat wherever my mate’s eyes raked over me. I let him look before I turned on the shower and stepped in, holding my hand out for him. He took my hand and stepped in too, letting the spray wash over him, brown and orange water swirling down the drain. Despite my words, I could tell he was still berating himself and all I wanted to do was comfort him. It wasn’t about sex as I picked up soap and began to help him wash, I just wanted to care for my mate. As my hands glided over hard muscles, making sure soap didn’t get into any of the cuts, I could feel his eyes on me. Only on me.
Chapter 23
Father Dearest
“You’re not going alone,” Quillan growled, lifting his chin as he blocked the door.
The sound of our growls battered against each other, neither willing to give in. Roarke stood slightly behind me, his arms folded, allowing me to try and persuade my mate. Glowing blue met swirling black and amber defiantly and the shimmer of skin announced the strong presence of my wolf. I would not be the one to back down.
“It’s not your decision to make. It’s mine. He’s safely behind bars, he can’t hurt me and he’s my father. I have things I need to say and they will be heard by him,” I stated firmly, bringing myself to my full height, uncaring that Quillan still towered over me.
“No.”
I rolled my eyes, wondering how much of this was what his wolf urged him to do. We’d been arguing about it since we woke up and his arguments had become ever shorter and more gravelly as his control wavered. My eyes narrowed on him and I had to bite back the urge to tell him ‘down boy.’
“Quillan, step aside of your own free will, please,” Roarke ordered with a sigh, having finally had enough of being forced away from his heavily pregnant mate for this. He placed his hand on my shoulder. “She needs to do this.”
Quillan’s gaze flicked to his brother, full of betrayal. His jaw clenched, and when his skin shifted over bone, a flicker of fear went through me. Was he going to lose control? He had lost control in front of me before but I’d learned that I was maybe one of the few his wolf would never attack, no matter how lost he was. Pups and females seemed to be off limits to him and I knew it was because of something that had happened in his past. Males that Quillan didn’t know or trust had him as unsettled as it did me.
Roarke’s hand squeezed my shoulder but that only added to Quillan’s anger. He growled again, stepping up to his Alpha, making himself bigger as his sound filled the room. I cringed as I watched my mate challenge Roarke. Quillan was strong, everyone knew that, but Roarke was Alpha for a reason.
“You dare think to demand I allow my mate to put herself in harm’s way and then you touch her as if she was yours?” he rumbled, his chin lifting so his eyes were locked with Roarke’s.
I allowed Roarke to guide me so I was behind him even though I was worried these two males were about to clash. It was between them now that my mate had disrespected not just me but our Alpha. I knew his words were spoken only out of anger and fear but he was playing a dangerous game. I dreaded the idea of stitching up any more wounds on his body.
“You will watch what you say, Beta of mine. Let your mate see her father and stand down,” Roarke ordered slowly, his dominance seeping dangerously into the air, forcing my head to bow.
Quillan looked from his Alpha to me, and for a second, I didn’t think he would relent. I watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed and sighed in relief when he stepped away from the door and bared his neck towards Roarke.
Reaching out for him, I took his rough hand in mine. “Wait outside the door for me and you’ll hear if I should need you. Please don�
��t cause upset here when there’s so much to be happy about. This is exactly what my father thrives on, causing divide, but we’re stronger than that.”
He nodded and bent down to kiss me fiercely, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of my hips as if scared to let go. He growled his claim of me against my lips that he then nipped before releasing me. I gave Roarke a grateful look that he returned with a small and nervous smile. He was preoccupied by Cathwulf, who had been complaining about pains that Sam had assured us were merely Braxton Hicks contractions. I think he was glad that we’d settled things so he could return to her side.
Quillan opened the door for me, allowing me to step out into the deep snow first. I shivered as my low cut boots were immediately soaked and stomped my feet to try and keep warm. Quillan’s lips twitched in the slightest glimpse of amusement but he was still silently angry, I could feel it hot through the bond. My fingers slipped between his and I smiled when he squeezed my hand.
“I am sorry, Mo Lighiche Beag. I shouldn’t have tried to control you like that when I promised I’d never do so again. I just…” He sighed, seeming unsure in a very un-Quillan like way. “Your father put his hands on you, he hurt you in more ways than just physical. I can’t be in the same room as him, I will kill him, but I don’t want you in there alone either.”
Now that I understood a little better, more of my annoyance faded away. “I understand that, but I won’t be ordered around like some maiden needing saved. I’ll bow to your commands as Beta but I won’t be controlled, not ever again.”
He nodded and stopped our progress to cup my cheek. I nuzzled into his touch, closing my eyes for a moment as my body heated despite the freezing wind. Placing the gentlest of kisses just below my ear, his breath on my skin making goose bumps rise, his next words had me grinning.
Way Of The Wolf: Endeavour (The Wulvers Series Book 3) Page 25