by LJ Swallow
Is she saying Katherine's parents don't care about her?
Tobias makes an exasperated noise and stares out the window instead. "I refuse to have the girl in any more of my classes."
"She's your student, Tobias," retorts Sofia.
"As her house head and the professor of mental magic, I am banning Katherine from all further mental magic tuition. I suggest she's removed from potions class too." He turns his head. "Theodora?"
Theodora rubs her temples. "Very well. I will arrange for Katherine to spend time in the library for your lessons. I'll ask Professor Turlington’s opinion on his class. That will be his decision."
Sofia's face clouds and she stands. "I expect you've already told your friends what you've seen, Maeve. Please explain to them we believe you hallucinated."
Theodora uncrosses her legs and stands. I'm thankful to see doubt flicker in her eyes—and hope Tobias holds the same.
"I have preparations to make for class this evening. If you'll excuse me." Sofia walks to her door and yanks it open. "Maeve, we will work on your visions once you feel well again. But not these hallucinations."
Gritting my teeth, I nod and walk stiffly through the door. The hallway is empty and I duck around a corner, unable to walk far, as I fight breaking down.
A small bench located outside the administration office comes into view from behind my blurring eyes, and I slump onto the wood.
Sofia's disbelief pulls me back to a childhood filled with confusion and panic, and I can hear the voice in my mind as clearly as if I were there today. "Mr. and Mrs. Foster, Maeve's hallucinations are worsening. We believe she'd benefit from a stay in hospital to run some tests."
When I discovered the truth about my magic gifts, words like these from my past spewed doubt into my mind. From childhood, doctors diagnosed me with a disorder. Their words stopped me accepting who I was. Prevented me integrating into the academy.
Now I’m hearing them again.
How can Sofia say this to me? She knows how much I struggled accepting my visions, and she’s told me I’m hallucinating.
Retreating into the frightened child told she was ill, I wrap my arms around my head to block out the sights and sounds around. For the first time ever, I wish I could revisit the vision and prove to myself I didn’t experience hallucinations brought on by a dangerous potion. A tear spills onto my arm and I clench my teeth to fight against the dam breaking and more pouring out.
"Maeve." I startle as a large hand touches my leg and I peek through my arms. Tobias crouches in front of me, eyes filled with gentle concern. I gulp in air and stand, eager to get away from him. I can’t let anybody see me like this.
"I would ask if you're alright, but clearly you're not." He produces a handkerchief from his pocket.
I stare at the white cloth before a laugh bursts from me. "You're strange."
"I’m aware you think I’m strange, Maeve. What in particular do you mean?"
I take the handkerchief from him. "I never expected you to be a man who carries handkerchiefs to give to weeping girls."
His mouth tugs up at one corner. "Indeed."
The tears soak the corner as I dab my eyes. "You speak archaically sometimes, Tobias."
"Well, I am over a hundred years old," he says with a wink.
"And pretending you’re not."
"I'm not the only one putting on an act." He cranes his neck to look back towards Theodora’s room. "Come to my study and talk to me about what happened." I widen my eyes. "Please. This isn't a demand, but a request."
The Tobias close to me now has a gentler, less guarded manner than the one who triggers arguments between us. Should I be annoyed that him witnessing me breaking down is what closes that distance? Or should he be concerned that his defences have dropped too?
Chapter Thirty-Three
MAEVE
We walk to Tobias’s classroom in silence, and as we do, he takes the edge off my distress, absorbing some of the energy. Deliberately or not? Tobias leads me into his study at the rear of the classroom, closes the door and rests against it.
"I believe you," he says instantly, and I suck in a breath with relief.
"Thank you." The words come out as a sob and I squeeze back tears, but another sob escapes my mouth.
Tobias rubs his temples with both hands. "Maeve. You're more distressed than I've ever seen you. I can help. Will you let me touch you?"
If Tobias weren't in front of the door, I'd bolt out. "No!"
"To help, Maeve. I hate seeing you upset in this way, and I'm sure you hate it too. You're a girl who likes to be in control." He hesitates. "I want to absorb some of this energy. Stop you hurting."
Why am I tempted? Because I want to rid myself of the painful emotions or because I want Tobias's touch?
"Touch me where?" I blurt.
"Just your cheek. I wouldn't touch you anywhere else."
Images of Tobias touching me in places nowhere near my face spring into my mind, and he widens his eyes at me.
Shit. Did he detect that? I shake the thoughts away.
I take a deep breath and hope to hell I don't regret my next answer. "Okay."
Tobias moves closer, but not near enough for our bodies to touch, then reaches between us. His fingers rest on my right cheek, his fingertips are warm but the touch is barely there.
The warmth grows to a tingling heat and I’m overwhelmed with a new understanding why Tobias holds back from me. The intensity from his lightest of touches eclipses any sensation from before.
I'm held in place as I look back into his dilating pupils, locked into the exchange between us. Instead of my usual protest against him taking my energy, I close my eyes and allow him to draw away the emotional pain.
The distress is replaced with calm, as if I've taken the numbing drugs from my childhood. But this doesn’t last. My body comes to life as the heavy sadness leaves, replaced by a yearning for Tobias as he twists the emotions into something as intense.
Desire.
This is wrong—the professor feeding on the student—but feels so good.
I fold my hand around his fingers, holding them to my cheek, desperate for the contact to stay. Energy floods further and I'm floating in a new place, away from distress, away from anger. Where nobody can hurt me.
"Please let go of my hand, Maeve."
I open an eye and his expression holds a need as intense as mine. His fingers shake beneath my hand as the fight rages inside him. Tobias wants to stay locked in this moment as much as I do.
He runs his other hand down my hair and my scalp tingles with a static charge. His eyes focus on the movement as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. As he does, his fingertips brush my neck and my pulse races as I anticipate his next move.
He cups the back of my head and strokes the nape of my neck, his breathing speeding to match mine. The world retreats. I’m not here. I’m not me. But I am, because every nerve tingles, as if fireworks exploded beneath my skin.
I move my face closer, aching for him to close the final gap between us.
The gap that's a chasm we teeter on the edge of.
Tobias moistens his lips and takes a shuddery breath. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing," I murmur. "You’re doing this."
"Maeve. I’m not." His voice is throaty, but he doesn’t move. "Stop."
He doesn’t want this? I blink out of my reverie as Tobias drops his hand and steps away before digging them into his pockets.
"Why won’t you listen to me?" he asks. I tremble at the break in our physical connection. He closes his eyes to take a deep breath. "I want to help you, but you need to help me. This can't happen."
My thumping heart refuses to slow, and I can’t find words as his spell remains around me.
"I said I’d help, but I refuse to be a predator, Maeve." He swallows. "I won’t take advantage of your weakness."
"I’m not weak."
Shaking his head, Tobias steps back further. "You are. You’re an emoti
onal wreck with no control—exactly the type of victim a pneuma can bend to their will. You planted those thoughts, Maeve. Pulled me away from what’s right."
"I didn’t."
"You did."
My stomach turns over. "Are you saying I mind-controlled you?"
"No. But your thoughts took hold of mine and pulled out what I—" He shakes his head.
"Then you shouldn't have touched me."
Turning away, Tobias pushes a hand through his hair. "I thought I could help. I knew touching you would take self-control, but I didn’t know your mind would touch mine."
"I’m drawn to your energy and this blanks out everything else I think or feel. I can't help how I react."
"And neither can I, but I'm bloody trying, Maeve." A muscle ticks in his jaw. "I shouldn’t have touched you—I tell you to keep away and then do this. That was a stupid step of me. I’m sorry if I’ve confused you."
"I'm not confused," I say, voice almost a whisper, "I understand more."
He shakes his head slowly. "You don’t understand anything."
I bristle at his shift into patronising. "That’s always your answer, isn’t it? Every time I ask difficult questions, you dismiss me. Tell me I’m naive. Treat me like a dumb kid."
"You're not a kid, Maeve." He snorts softly.
He clears his throat. "I can’t talk about this anymore. But before you go, I want you to know I believe everything you saw was a vision and not hallucination. Sofia knows this too."
"Are you saying she's lying?"
"I have to see that as a possibility. I don't trust anybody here."
"Anybody?"
"Almost nobody." He rests back in his seat. Tobias may try to hide the effect our encounter had on him, but he's flushed too and eyes distant. "I'm watching Sofia, as I'm watching all professors and some students. One of them will slip up eventually."
"And Vincent?"
"Without a doubt." He scratches his cheek. "Have you managed to get close to him yet?"
"No." I play with my nails. "I'm not with him and Ash much."
"So, he has managed to separate you?" Tobias wrinkles his nose. "Don't worry. Once I uncover who he is, Ash will be back in your arms."
I look sharply at him, but he isn't teasing.
"The issue is how to get close enough to Vincent. We’re relying on you to push your way into his mind."
"We?"
"The academy, Maeve."
I sink back into the soft upholstery. Tobias's room has a familiar, sharply spiced scent, one I associate with him, as the room’s scent lingers on him.
"We need to untangle your memories too. I think the events you saw are in order, but they trouble me. This is one reason I'm suspicious of Sofia. She knows you had a previous vision of the fire."
"Why do you think you were there?" I ask.
"Why do you think you were in Andrei's bed?"
My stomach lurches. "I never told anybody that's what I saw."
"You did, though. When you explained the visions to Theodora and Sofia, you skipped that one." He places fingertips on his temples. "I caught the images."
If I could see my face right now, I swear it would match the trim around a Petrescu blazer. What must he think of me?
"That might not be true," I half-squeak.
"But this is more evidence, Maeve. You're not frightened of Andrei, and I'd be surprised if that situation didn't occur at some point."
I give a wry smile. 'That situation'. So proper. So Professor Whitlock.
"Then I should've seen Ash," I blurt. "He’s the guy I’m close to in that way."
He arches a brow. "I suspect there’s a significance to why you and Andrei are together, and that if this happens with Ash, it isn’t significant enough for a vision."
"I think it's significant to me whoever I have sex with," I mumble.
Crap, I cannot believe I'm talking about this with Tobias.
"At least it wasn't me," he says softly.
I meet his amused smirk and narrow my eyes. "Indeed."
"Don’t say that, Tobias. Not after what just happened."
The unspoken hovers between us. Again. This tension will kill me—ruin us both.
"What do you think causes the fire?" I ask.
"Dominion related, if you saw Gabriella there."
"And Katherine and Amelia? What was that?"
"I want Katherine sent away, Maeve, but I didn't realise her home life was unhappy, but that might explain a few things." He nods. "I'll keep a strict eye on her, in case something is influencing her too."
Something that could make her hurt Amelia?
"Oh, she'll love special attention from Professor Whitlock," I say with a chuckle.
"No. She won't." He shakes his head. "I certainly won't."
Tobias's exaggerated eye-roll makes me laugh and he does too.
"What the hell do I do?" he says with sudden exasperation and the laughter cuts dead.
"Teach me to beat this," I say. "To stop whatever will happen."
"Entirely my intention." He pauses. "I'll look into this and see if I can make any links. Keep working with your friends."
"I should go."
He nods. "Maeve. I’m sorry about earlier."
I can’t cope with the similarity to Andrei—the constant protests that hide lies. These guys are more similar than they admit and both toy with my emotions.
This is toxic and I need to break free.
Chapter Thirty-Four
MAEVE
The meetings with the three professors ran late, and Jamie and Amelia aren't around when I head back to Walcott. But there’s one person I know I can find. I haven't seen Andrei alone since we kissed, and the evening plays on my mind constantly.
Especially since the vision earlier. If I were sensible, I’d go straight back to my room, but I need to clear my head after the meeting with Tobias. Amelia will fuss and want to know answers, and I don't feel like running through everything again today. Tomorrow, I’ll explain my visions to all of them.
At least Andrei won't force me to talk about anything that happened or make a fuss.
The academy grounds are eerily quiet in the evenings. The imposing building against the stark landscape and moon behind clouds adds to the mystery surrounding the place. Since the day I saw Tobias beneath the school amongst the flames, I’ve become more curious about the school’s history. Is there something different that gives the place the discomforting vibe?
Jamie spends time in the library running through local history, but hasn't found anything yet. The day I arrived, I joked about the place as an ex-mental institution from the Victorian times, but what was the building before this? I stare up at the rows of windows, some lit but most darkened behind curtains.
Are the secrets in this place more than those held by some residents?
Andrei sits in our unofficial meeting place, the bench beneath the willow tree. He’s rubbing both hands on his legs and looking sharply from left to right.
What happened to him?
I move from behind the cloister pillar, ready to tread through the darker night, but Andrei’s in front of me before I take a step closer to him.
"Shit." I place a hand on my chest over my heart. "I wish you wouldn't do that. You freak me out."
"Sorry. I forget how quick I move." He reaches out and strokes my hair, concerned eyes glinting in the dark. "You okay now?"
"Uh. Yes." His sudden and intense concern takes me by surprise, which grows as he takes my hand and pulls me around the corner, behind a pillar.
"Are you sure? You scared the shit out of me before."
"No lasting damage." I hope.
He places his other hand over mine. "Promise me you're okay."
"Yes. I promise."
"Then why are you out here? You only come here when you can’t sleep."
I moisten my lips. We both know that isn't true.
"Because I wanted to sit quietly with the person who doesn't ask me questions all the time.
I guess that isn't you tonight."
Andrei swipes hair from his face before lowering his voice. "No. Yes. I mean, stay with me."
My heart speeds. Stay with the Andrei in the Dark. The one who kisses with a hungry need that frightens me.
"I need to talk to you about something that happened, Maeve."
About us? The kiss? "Okay."
"It’s Vincent. I managed to read his mind."
I breathe easy—I don't want to talk about the confusing bond between us. But this is worse.
I lower my voice. "What did you see?"
"Nothing. I couldn’t see anything at all."
"Magic block?" I suggest.
"I don’t know, Maeve." Andrei’s brow puckers. "I’ve never come across anything like this. He had hold of my arm, but I couldn’t feel him. Mentally, I mean."
"Vincent’s closed off. The times I’ve managed to move close enough to pick up on his energy, I’ve struggled to find anything."
"Exactly."
I rub a hand across my forehead. "I thought he’d blocked me. Do you think this is more?"
"I don’t know."
"We need to speak to Tobias about this. He’s asked me to use my powers on Vincent. This could help us decide how." But how can I use mind control on someone with no mind? "Shit. The poor guy’s mind is screwed."
"Brainwashed. Honestly, Maeve, he isn't normal. I've come across blocked minds before, but nothing like this." Andrei drags both hands through his hair. "I have a crazy theory. I don't think that man is Vincent."
I grasp for a possible explanation from my confusing world. "Are you saying somebody shapeshifted into Vince?"
"Shapeshifting into another human form isn't possible. I think Vince is a construct, Maeve."
I shake my head to ensure I heard correctly. "A what?"
"I believe this is Vincent's body but not his mind. Vincent has been reanimated."
I burst out laughing as images of Frankenstein complete with bolts in his neck cross my mind. Andrei's face darkens.
"This isn't amusing, Maeve. This is necromancy."
The word cuts my laughter dead. "There are necromancers?" I whisper in horror.