by J. L. Beck
Losing the last thread of control I was holding, I thrust my cock into her throat mercilessly. Over and over again, I shove myself into her warm mouth, making her gag at the intrusion. Thick spit coats my cock, dripping down onto my balls and her chin.
“Fuck yes, make her choke on it.” Matteo grunts, and I try my best to ignore him. “I can’t wait to fuck her next.”
“I’m next after,” Nash chimes in.
“Fuck you guys,” Marcel groans.
Aspen keeps her eyes squeezed shut, probably wishing for this to be over. Little does she know, we have just begun.
Everything around us fades away, and all that’s left is her and me. The sound of her gagging mingles with my pleased grunts, and I can feel the orgasm building at the base of my spine. I thrust into her one last time, then hold myself there. I come so hard stars dance across my vision. When my release finally ends, and I pull out of her throat, she sucks in a panicked breath and starts coughing furiously.
I let go of her face, and the guys release her arms. She slumps forward, trying to get her breathing under control. Her whole body is shaking, and my conscience roars to life as I look at her small body huddling on the ground in front of me.
“Hurry up and catch your breath.” Matteo laughs, patting her on the back. “I’m next, and I won’t be gentle either.” He starts unbuckling his belt.
Aspen is still gasping for air when I step aside and tuck my now deflated dick back inside my pants. Matteo steps in front of her, taking my place. Grabbing a fistful of her blond hair, he pulls her head up, forcing her to look at him.
“Suck it good because your spit will be the only lube you’ll get,” he warns.
Her tearful eyes flare with anger, and then she spits in his face. “Fuck you!”
“You stupid bitch!” Matteo wipes his face with the back of his hand before swinging it back toward her.
Without thinking, I grab his arm, stopping him from hitting her. “That’s enough. Let her go.”
“Are you fucking serious? We’re not done with her,” Matteo interjects. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he knows he’s made a mistake by talking back to me.
Instead of letting go of his arm, I twist it around until he yelps in pain. Nash and Marcel let go of Aspen and step away with their palms up in surrender. Smart move.
I release Matteo with a shove, and Aspen doesn’t waste any time. As soon as she is free, she is on the move, but instead of simply making a run for it, she gets up and throws her fist into Matteo’s kidney. He grunts and slumps over in pain while she takes off before he can recover.
“You fucking bitch!” he calls after her. “You’re gonna regret that.” It takes him a moment to recover. When he straightens back up, he turns to his guys. “I’m gonna make her pay for that. Next time, she’ll get more than a dead rat in her bed.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I question.
“We left a dead rat in her bed yesterday,” Nash explains proudly. “Pinned it to her mattress with a knife.”
“It was great.” Matteo chuckles. “But nothing compared to what’s coming next.”
“How the fuck did you get into her room?”
“Easy.” Marcel shrugs. “The janitor made us a copy of her key card. We can get in any time we want.”
“Give it to me,” I demand, holding out my hand.
Marcel looks a bit stunned but reaches back into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. He finds the card and hands it to me.
“You only have this one?” I look around into all three faces. When everyone nods, I continue, “No one goes into her room besides me. No one touches her besides me. No one torments her besides me. She is mine and mine alone. If I find any of you are doing anything to her, I will cut off your balls and shove them down your throat. Is that clear?”
Nash and Marcel nod their heads furiously. Matteo isn’t that smart. He studies my face for a moment, his jaw clenched and his eyes glaring. I know he wants to tell me to fuck off, but he manages to refrain and nod ever so slightly. He’ll be the one I have to watch.
“Good.” I slide the key card into my pocket. “I’ll see you guys around.”
I walk away with an unsettling feeling deep in my gut. That only spreads like a wildfire as everything that has happened today replays in my mind. It’s like watching a movie for a second time, but now you have more information. You know the ending, details you weren’t aware of before.
They went into her room and destroyed her bed right after I gave her a new blanket. All the pieces click into place. She thinks it was me, and I can’t blame her for that conclusion. She thought I played her, and that’s why she made the scene in the cafeteria.
Still, she made a scene, making me look weak in front of the entire school. I had to do something to retaliate, no matter her reasoning.
I don’t feel guilty about what I did to her just now, but I do feel uneasy about Matteo. He’s not going to let this go. I don’t know when or how, but he will strike back. Too bad for him, I meant what I said. She is mine to torment, mine alone to control, and I will not let anyone take that away from me.
The gravity of my statement only starts to sink in when I reach my dorm door. I unlock it and walk in. The place is dark and quiet, letting me know Ren is already asleep. Checking the time, I realize it’s after one a.m. already.
Quietly, I head to my room. I briefly think about taking a shower, but that would mean washing Aspen away from my body. The thought of her dried spit remaining on my cock makes the fucker twitch in my pants. God, I’m fucked up. My mind twisted and depraved, but instead of feeling apologetic about it, I embrace it. Embrace the darkness running through my veins.
I was born into this life, and I have no plans on fighting it. Slipping out of my boots, I undress quickly but forgo the shower.
Falling into my bed, I stare at the ceiling, knowing there is no way I’m going to sleep any time soon. So instead, I let earlier run through my mind on repeat…
The way her tongue felt on my cock, her soft whimpers, the tears in her eyes. Her helplessness and the power it gave me in return. Fuck. It’s like a drug I can’t get enough of. My dick is already hard again, and I pull it out of my underwear.
Wrapping my hand around the length, I start stroking myself and imagine going to her room. With the key card, I could slip inside unnoticed, climb into her bed, and pin her beneath me before she even wakes up. Closing my eyes, I picture her lying there, only wearing a flimsy pair of sleeping shorts I can easily pull down before plunging my cock deep inside her tight cunt. I would shove her body into the mattress with each thrust—
My little fantasy comes to an abrupt halt as I wonder if she is even in her room now. Matteo said they fucked with her bed. Surely, she won’t sleep in it after they put a dead rodent in there. But where else would she sleep? Did she get a new bed? New room?
Not knowing is slowly driving me insane, and no matter how hard I stroke my cock, I can’t get back into it.
“Fuck.” Climbing out of bed, I fix my boxers and pull on the clothes I took off earlier. I pat the pocket to make sure her key card is still there as I leave the room and head across the dorm.
It’s almost three in the morning now, and the corridors are completely void of students and noise. The only sound disturbing the dorm silence is that of my footfalls.
When I get closer to her room at the end of the hall, I notice her blood-soiled mattress and bedding left in the corner. Frowning, I pull the key card out and swipe it through the slide above the knob. The lock disengages, and I push the door open quietly.
Her room isn’t dark, the light in the attached bathroom is on, and the door to it has been left open. My eyes fall on the empty bed. Since the mattress is gone, and the only thing left is the iron rails below. Scanning the rest of the small space, I quickly discover she isn’t here. I check the bathroom and find it empty as well.
Only when I exit the bathroom do I notice the small set of feet sticking out of the
shadowed corner. I move closer until I’m at the head of the bed, and that’s when I see her. She’s huddled up behind the bed, her legs drawn up to her chest, with her head resting against the back of the headboard.
Her eyes are closed, but her face still seems pinched, as if she is having a bad dream, or maybe she is just cold since the only thing she has to cover up is a towel.
I shouldn’t care about her comfort or where the fuck she sleeps, but something in the back of my mind is telling me I should. Maybe it’s the part of me that craves control, or maybe it’s something I don’t understand yet. Either way, I have to find a way to make it stop. I can’t afford to have a conscience.
Not now, not ever, and especially not toward Aspen.
14
ASPEN
My eyes fly open, and I’m dragged out of sleep when I hear the sound of the door closing. Immediately, my heart is racing, and I’m wide awake despite being so exhausted I could fall asleep standing up. Panicking, I search for the knife I must have dropped when I dozed off. Sliding my hand across the floor, I search the space beside me and let out a sigh of relief when my fingers slide over the metal.
Wrapping my fingers around the cold handle, I hold the knife out in front of me. It’s only a butter knife I took from the cafeteria, but it’s better than nothing.
I refuse to go down without a fight.
Holding my breath, I listen intently for the intruder, but I’m only met with silence. Clutching onto the knife tightly, I carefully stick my head out around the headboard to scan the room.
It’s empty. Maybe I imagined the sound. My mind is starting to play tricks on me, which is either from a lack of sleep, lack of food, or both.
Taking a few deep breaths, I slump back into my corner behind the bed. It’s uncomfortable, but it gives me this weird sense of comfort and safety. I already know people can enter my room, but if I sleep like this, they won’t see me until I’m ready for them to see me.
I lean my head back against the wood. Pulling the towel tightly around my upper body, I try to find an inkling of comfort, just enough to let me sleep for a little while. I’m so fucking tired. Tired of this school, of this room, the bullying… I’m tired of my life.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I force the darkness to take me, to let me forget everything for a couple of hours. I’m just starting to fall asleep when something startles me awake once more, but this time, it’s not a sound I imagined that’s waking me up. It’s something tugging at my towel.
Panic grips me by the throat, and without thinking, I start thrashing around me, kicking out my legs, hoping one of my limbs will connect with anything that hurts. My eyes are wide open, but the room is pretty dark—only some light from the bathroom is filtering into the space.
“Calm down. It’s me.” Quinton’s voice breaks through the fog of panic, but it doesn’t stop me from struggling. He’ll hurt me and break me if I let him.
My hands are empty, and I have no clue where the knife went, so I have to use my fists to try to fight him off.
I don’t get far, and the next thing I know, Quinton is grabbing onto my ankles. He pulls me toward him, so I’m flat on the ground, the back of my head almost hitting the floor.
Then he climbs on top of me, his mammoth frame blanketing mine, pressing me to the floor and leaving me completely immobilized. I turn my head to the side, and Quinton dips his face into the crook of my neck.
My back is cold from the concrete floor, but my front is warm from Quinton’s body heat. It only takes a moment until all I can feel is him, the weight of his body, the press of his thighs against mine.
“Just calm down,” Quinton repeats, his voice low, soft, and it’s only then that the words he said sink in. When I woke up, he said, “Calm down. It’s me.” As if the fact that it’s him visiting me and not someone else would calm me down.
Is he really that delirious?
Unable to move even an inch, I do the only thing I can and concentrate on my breathing. To my surprise, Quinton neither moves nor lets all his weight settle on mine. His arms are on either side of me, caging me in but also supporting some of his weight so as not to risk crushing me.
“I’m calm,” I whisper into his shoulder, trying my best not to breathe his manly scent into my lungs. It’s spicy and intoxicating, and I don’t want to admit for a second the way it makes my head spin.
He stays still for another few moments before pushing off me. I follow his movements and sit up, pressing my back to the wall.
“What do you want?” I finally manage to ask, still trying to figure out why he is here.
Uncertainty flickers in his eyes as he reaches for something beside him. I pull my legs up to my chest protectively. I’m terrified of what he might do next. After what he did in the corridor to me, I don’t think I’ll ever trust him.
“I just brought you this.” He picks up a comforter and hands it to me. I look at it, desperately wanting to take it, but I’m not stupid enough to do that. Not again.
“No, thanks.”
“Just take it.”
“No! Do you think I’m that stupid? This can only be one of two things. Either you’re giving me something to play fucked up mind games with me, or this is some kind of payment. Is this your ‘I’m sorry’ gift?”
“I’m not sorry.” He shrugs. Of course, he’s not. Someone like him doesn’t feel remorse. “And this isn’t some mind game. I told you I would get you a new blanket, and I’m keeping my word. I didn’t put that rat in your room.”
“Great, so everyone in this school has a key to my room?”
“Not anymore. Only I have a key now.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” As I say the words, I already know that it does, and I hate it. I hate that out of all people in that group of guys, Q makes me feel like he is the lesser of two evils.
“I don’t really care how you feel. Now, take the fucking blanket and go back to sleep.”
“No.” I shake my head and wrap my arms around my legs so I can rest my cheek on my knees. “Just leave me alone.” The words come out half-hearted, knowing he won’t listen anyway. Still, I close my eyes and hope for the best.
Of course, I was right. He is not going to leave me alone. Instead, he throws the blanket on top of me. Startled, I try to kick it off, but before I can manage, I’m lifted off the floor and pulled onto Q’s lap.
“What the hell are you doing?” I object but stop struggling immediately because I involuntarily rub my ass over his crotch with every move I make.
“Just shut up and go to sleep.”
Stunned into silence, I stay quiet as he wraps the blanket around me and holds me to his chest tightly, cradling me like a small child. I don’t realize how stiff my body is until my muscles start to hurt, shaking with exhaustion, and I’m forced to relax a little.
As soon as I do, I sink deeper into his hold, and I inwardly curse myself for letting this happen. I know it’s a trick, a game he is playing, but I can’t help but grab on to this small amount of comfort. Even if it’s not real. I’m so fucking tired. My body is drained, and all I want to do is sleep.
My eyes flutter shut without my permission, and I let my cheek rest against Q’s chest. He is so warm… and he smells good… I still hate him, though. I hate him for who he is and what he did to me today. I hate him.
“I hope I slobber all over your stupid shirt,” I murmur against his chest, drawing a low chuckle from him. That’s the last thing I remember before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.
For the first time since I got here, I wake somewhat rested. It takes me a moment to get my bearings and realize where I am. I’m still curled up on the floor, hidden behind my bed, but instead of cold and unbearably uncomfortable, I’m wrapped up in a cocoon of thick blanket, my head resting on a fluffy pillow.
Still slightly disoriented, I look around the room and find it empty. If it wasn’t for the pillow and blanket that smells of him, I would say last night was a dream. I still don�
�t know why he showed up and pretended to care, but I already know nothing good will come from it.
He said so himself. He isn’t sorry about forcing me to give him a blow job in front of his friends. The memory of that invades my mind, and my stomach churns. He used me to get off before, but no one saw that. It was easier to twist it in my mind and make it into something it wasn’t.
Nothing about what he did to me in front of those guys can be sugarcoated. It was nothing but degrading and violating. I have never felt so used and helpless in my life. I’ve also never experienced so much relief as when he made them stop. Quinton doing what he did to me is bad enough, but Matteo? I don’t think I would have survived his cruel touch.
I try not to read anything into it, knowing Q just doesn’t want to share his new toy. I already know that’s not going to last forever. He might have protected me from Matteo last night, but he won’t do that for long. I’ll need to find a way to protect myself if I’m going to make it another year, month, or day here.
I pull open the nightstand drawer and slide my hand to the back. When my fingers touch the cold metal, I wrap them around the thin chain and pull the bracelet out.
I put it there as soon as I arrived. Over the years, I have often carried it with me, waiting until the moment I could return it to Adela. Since that opportunity hasn’t presented itself yet, I’ve used it as a beacon of hope. A reminder that I’m strong and don’t need to conform. She gave me that bracelet during one of her moments of weakness, and I’ve used it as strength through some of my own. Strength. That thought reminds me that I’m late for PE.
Shit. I shove the bracelet back into its hiding spot. The PE class that is supposed to teach me hand-to-hand combat. Ugh. I want to curl back into this blanket and go to sleep, but I can’t. I can’t skip that class because that’s what they want. They want to break me and make me stay locked in my room to lick my wounds.