by J. L. Beck
“Neither,” I sneer and shove the bottle at Ren.
The last thing I want to talk about is Aspen, not today, not when I should be remembering someone else, but again, maybe that’s what I need. Maybe I need her right now, and I’m just too stubborn to admit it.
“What do you mean neither?” Nash laughs. “Rumor has it you’ve been seen near her dorm. Don’t tell me you haven’t fucked her yet.”
“She’s nobody.”
“Really? That’s not what I’ve heard.”
I shove out of my chair, and it goes flying into the wall. My patience is gone, and the pain in my heart is making it hard for me to make rational choices.
Nash has a death wish. I’m sure of it.
“I don’t care what you’ve heard.”
He shrugs. “I mean, she’s a rat, yes, but she is a hot piece. I’m not the only one who jerked off to her sucking your dick. I’m pretty sure every guy in this school has it by now. Let’s be honest, a wet hole is a wet hole, am I right?”
I’m not sure what in that statement makes me snap, but like a rubber band being pulled tight, I sling across the table and grab Nash by the collar of his shirt.
“Dude, what the fuck,” he growls, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Ren standing, ready to break us up.
“Shut up!” I give him a shake, trying to restrain myself from punching him in the fucking face, but then he has to open his trap.
“Calm down, man. If Aspen means nothing to you, why are you acting like this?” After that, all hell breaks loose. I punch Nash in the face three times before he can get a jab in, and Ren is separating us, pushing me against the wall, telling me to calm down before I can really get him to shut his fucking mouth.
“This has nothing to do with Aspen. I just hate your fucking face. I want to drink in peace without you yapping in my fucking ear about some pussy!”
“Hurting other people won’t bring her back, Q,” Ren whispers into my ear.
My chest is heaving, and my heart is racing. I feel trapped, the numbness is receding, and I have to find another way to make the pain disappear.
Adela is gone. My sister is gone.
The events from last night make me groan internally. Slowly, I open my eyes, which are so dry my lids feel like sandpaper. I groan as the light from the bathroom hurts my eyeballs even though it’s dim. I’m on my side, Aspen’s back is flush to my front, and my arm is wrapped around her middle, holding her to me.
She tries to wiggle out of my hold, but I only pull her closer, not ready to let her go. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Away from you. You shouldn’t be here.”
“Who says?”
“Me, this is my room, and we said one hour a week. You’ve been here six hours.”
“Six?” I look around the room and stop at the lit-up red numbers on Aspen’s alarm clock. It reads 5:34 a.m., which means she is right. I’ve been here for about six hours, and what’s even more surprising is that I’ve been asleep for most of that time. I don’t remember the last time I slept for that many hours.
“Sleeping doesn’t count. You sucked my dick for thirty minutes, so that’s the only time that counts. I still have thirty minutes left for this week.”
“That’s not the deal we made, and you know it.” She tries to shimmy out of my hold again. “Let me go.”
“You’re kind of cute when you think you’re in charge. I told you last night that was your one and only veto. The only time I let you tap out. Stop me again, and the deal is off. You’ll have to fend for yourself.” It’s an empty threat, but she doesn’t know that.
Her body goes slack in my hold, and I know I have her right where I want. Like putty in my hand, she lets me turn her around to face me. I grab the hem of her shirt and pull it up her body, and she lifts her arms dutifully, letting me strip her bare.
I roll her onto her back and pull the flimsy panties down her slender legs before I chuck my boxers, getting rid of the last piece of fabric between us.
Lowering my body, I cover her like a blanket. My face is only inches from hers, and I take a moment to study her face. I’m so close, I can see every freckle on her nose, every variation of brown and green in her eyes, and every shade of pink spreading across her cheeks.
Her lips are pulled into a frown. She isn’t happy, but she isn’t scared like she was last night. Now more than ever do I thank the fucking universe I was able to stop myself.
I’ve done bad things, and I’ve taken a lot from Aspen, but nothing felt as bad as it did last night. Somehow, it felt different, worse, and something tells me if I had crossed that line, it would have broken her and etched a darkness into my soul I would have never been able to get rid of.
“Now spread your legs for me and keep them open. And don’t look so miserable. If you behave, I’ll make you come too.” My offer only pours gas into the fire burning in her eyes.
The hazel color turns into a simmering ember, and I snake a hand between her legs and press two fingers inside her cunt. She isn’t wet enough to make this a comfortable experience for the two of us, so I pull the digits out and focus my attention on her clit.
Staring into her eyes, I watch as her resistance to me crumbles while I stroke her clit, circling the bud over and over until I start to feel her arousal on my fingers. Straight white teeth sink into her bottom lip as she tries to stifle a moan of pleasure. Her lustful gaze clashes with my own.
Her body wants me even if her mind doesn’t. Slipping a finger inside her, I find her wet and ready.
I can’t help but smirk as I withdraw my finger once more and move to settle between her legs. My gaze moves between her thighs, and I almost growl while I line my cock up with her entrance. I can’t wait to be inside her, to take her innocence and claim it as my own.
I work my way inside her slowly even though every fiber in my body screams for me to bottom out in one hard thrust, showing her who owns her and who she belongs to.
When I feel the resistance of her virginity giving way, her whole body tightens with a gasp, and her hands wrap around my biceps. I’m not sure if she’s trying to push me away or pulling me in closer, but I don’t mind the way her nails are digging into my skin. I welcome the pain because physical pain is always better than the alternative.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” I hiss. “Relax a bit.”
“You try to relax when something way too big is shoved up inside you,” she snaps, making me chuckle.
“Is that your way of trying to tell me I have a big dick?”
“I hate you, and I hate this.”
Dropping my head into the crook of her neck, I whisper into the shell of her ear, “Liar.”
“Ugh,” she grunts, digging her sharp nails deeper into my arms. “It fucking hurts.”
“It will feel better next time.” The reminder of the next time has all the different ways I’m going to fuck her running through my mind. Bent over the bed, taking her from behind, her riding my cock while I play with her tits, maybe while I finger her ass…
She whimpers, and I realize I’ve picked up speed in my excitement. I should probably slow down, but it feels so fucking good. How does she feel like this? Like she was made for me.
I could stay buried inside her forever, but I know she is actually hurting, and contrary to what she believes, I don’t care for causing her physical pain. Luckily for her, it doesn’t take long before I can feel the tingle at the base of my spine.
I thrust deep inside her a few more times before my balls tighten, and I explode. My orgasm seems to go on forever, and by the time I come down from my high, I’m almost passed out again.
“Do you know how heavy you are?” Aspen’s labored voice meets my ear, and only then do I realize I’ve let my entire weight settle on her small body.
I quickly push myself off the bed, slipping out of her cunt, making us both wince. Getting up from the bed a little too fast, I make a note to drink a shit load of water today when the room spins.
> After the dizzy spell passes, I look down at the bed. Aspen hasn’t moved. She is on her back with her legs spread, giving me a prime view of her swollen pussy that’s leaking a mixture of my cum and her blood, both a reminder of what I just took from her and the fact that I didn’t use a condom. Aspen must be reading my mind.
“Oh, god, you didn’t use a condom!” She sits up, looking between her legs, then glaring up at me.
“Calm down. They tested everyone for diseases before we got here. We’re both clean. Don’t get up. I’m getting a washcloth.” I turn to walk into her attached bathroom when she yells something at my back I wasn’t prepared for.
“Quinton, I’m not on the pill!”
I stop dead in my tracks, my whole body freezing as her words slowly start to sink in. Fuck, how could I have been so careless?
“Did you hear me? I’m not on the pill. You can’t come inside me. What if you get me pregnant?”
Pregnant…
That single word runs on an endless loop in the back of my mind as my limbs begin to unfreeze, and I’m able to make my way to the bathroom. Standing in front of the sink, I remember the thing is broken, but when I turn to the shower, there are a bunch of her clothes hanging out to dry. I slide some of the odd-smelling shirts to the side so I can reach into the shower stall and turn it on. I grab the washcloth and soak it in warm water before turning the shower off.
When I return to the room, Aspen hasn’t moved. Her eyes follow every move I make. Carefully, I wipe between her legs with the wet washcloth, watching as the white fabric turns pink.
“Did you hear—”
“I heard you,” I snap.
I don’t know why I’m getting angry with her. This is on me. “Why is your stuff hung up in the bathroom, and why does it smell funny?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
She flops back down onto the bed, so she is flat on her back, and lets me clean her up. “The laundry people won’t take my clothes, so I have to wash them in my shower, but I don’t have laundry detergent, so I have been using hair shampoo. Until now at least, because I’m running out, and I would rather wash my hair than clothes.”
“I’ll get you more shampoo… maybe for an extra thirty minutes a week, I’ll even have them do your laundry.”
“Is that what you would do if you accidentally got me pregnant? Barter with me for everything? An extra hour for child support? Or would you just get rid of me altogether?”
“Shut up!” I bunch up the cloth in my hand and throw it across the room. She has no idea the nerve she just struck. I get back on the bed, and Aspen tries to jump out. I grab her and push her back onto the mattress.
Anger surges through me as my mind is running rampant. Is that how I came to be? Did my father sleep with the enemy? Did my father hate my birth mother, and did she hate him so much that she didn’t want me?
“Quinton,” she says like a prayer. A prayer for mercy.
I grab her throat with one hand, not squeezing but holding her firm enough to make her stop talking. Her hands come up, and her fingers wrap around my wrist. “I need you to listen carefully and do exactly what I say because right now, I’m on an edge you don’t want me to go over. Do what I say, and I won’t hurt you.”
She nods slightly, fear pooling in the depth of her hazel eyes.
“I’m going to release you for a second, and you’re to grab your ankles and spread your legs for me,” I order.
She is hesitant, and I can feel her throat as she does her best to swallow down her fear. She slowly releases my arms, and a moment later, I release her throat and ease back, giving her room to move. Like a mouse that’s afraid of getting caught in a trap, she moves hesitantly. When she has a firm grip on her ankles, I say,“Now, don’t move.”
Moving back into place, I wrap my hand around her delicate throat. My grip on her throat is loose, and I use my free hand to explore her body.
I trail my fingers down her breast and stomach slowly, drawing a shiver out of her when I get below her belly button. Gently, I run the tip of my fingers through her folds, drawing a whimper from her lips.
“Does this hurt?” I ask, my anger disappearing rapidly as she hands over control to me. When she shakes her head, I part her lips and press my thumb to her clit. Her eyes flutter closed, and her head tips back into the pillow.
I rub lazy circles over the small bundle of nerves until her back arches off the bed, and her breathing is labored. She keeps her eyes closed the whole time, probably not wanting to see who is bringing her pleasure like this. She still won’t admit that part of her wants me.
Her face is flush, and a hue of red is spreading out across her chest and cheeks, the same beautiful shade of pink of her cunt at the moment.
Keeping pressure on her clit with my thumb, I use my finger to fuck her pussy with gentle strokes. I can still feel my cum inside her, which has my dick going hard all over again.
Leaning down, I take one of her nipples between my lips and suck on it. That’s what drives her over the edge. Her whole body arches off the bed, pushing her tit into my mouth. Her pussy contracts around my finger as a strangled moan falls from her lips.
By the time she comes down from her high, her eyes are closed, and her body is slack. I’m half a second away from flopping down beside her and pulling her back into my hold, but I know that’s a terrible idea. I can’t stay here any longer. Ren is probably wondering where the hell I am, and I hate lying to him.
Spending the night in Aspen’s room is going to raise enough questions as it is. Staying past breakfast is going to be unexplainable.
I pull my finger out of her and get off the bed. She immediately rolls to her side and tucks her legs up like she is going back to sleep. I take her bare, thoroughly fucked body in for another few minutes before I tear myself away. She murmurs something inaudible as I pull the blanket over her naked form.
I dress quickly and leave her room quietly. On my way to my room, I check my phone, which already has twelve messages from Ren.
Fuck me.
26
ASPEN
I hate everything and everyone today. Sunshine, puppies, butterflies, and rainbows. All of it can get tossed in a blender.
I’m ready to post a craigslist ad: Uterus for sale.
The only good thing about having my period is that I know I’m not pregnant with Quinton’s child. Jesus, just the thought of the shitstorm that would set loose has a shiver running down my spine.
The things he’s done to me and made me do are something that I want to forget, not something I want to build a life on, and it’s definitely not anything I want to bring another innocent life into.
Even the people in the hallway seem to pick up on my murderous mood since no one accidentally runs into me on my way back to my room. I swipe my key card and push the door open, ready to curl up on my bed, when I find another bag sitting on my mattress.
This time I handle it less carefully, knowing that it’s from Quinton and trusting him a tiny bit more now. Pulling it open, I find a bottle of shampoo as well as a bottle of conditioner inside. On the bottom, I discover a bunch of granola bars and even a few candy bars mixed between.
I’m not even that surprised he brought this. What is surprising is the note pinned at the top of the bag.
This one is for free.
Don’t get used to it.
-Q
Free? Nothing is free. I know that better than anyone. My brain tells me not to touch any of this stuff, but my stomach tells me to eat everything in sight before someone takes it away from me.
My mouth waters just looking at the candy bars, and I already know there is no way I’m giving this back. Especially not today out of all days. Opening the bottle of water, I dig out some Advil from my nightstand drawer and swallow three pills. While I let them kick in, I curl up on my bed and unwrap one of the chocolate caramel bars.
The first bite is the best. Closing my eyes, I moan as the chocolate goodness hits my taste buds. The gooey c
aramel sticks to the roof of my mouth, and I want it to stay glued on there forever. I don’t even chew. I just let it dissolve in my mouth, sucking on the chocolate, wanting to draw out the taste.
Mmm…
“That good, huh?”
My eyes fly open in shock as I realize someone is in the room. I sit up straight and hold on to the candy bar like I’m about to use it as a weapon.
“Calm down, killer.” Quinton chuckles, flopping down on the bed beside me like he owns the place. “What’s in that chocolate that makes you moan like that?”
My heart is still racing from the shock of him appearing out of nowhere when he grabs the bar from my hand and takes a bite.
He takes a fucking bite out of MY candy bar!
“What’s the big deal? Tastes normal.” He shrugs, inspecting the bar like he is trying to solve a puzzle.
I don’t think. I simply act.
“You fucking asshole!” I scream at him seconds before I swing my fist into his upper arm as hard as I can manage. My hope was to hurt him, even if it’s just a little bit. Instead, pain shoots from my knuckles all the way up my forearm. “Ow!” I yelp, cradling my hand.
What the hell is his arm made of? Fortified steel?
We both pause, staring at each other in shock.
“Did you just hit me?” he asks like he can’t believe his eyes.
“You took my chocolate!” I defend.
His eyebrows pinch together, and his gaze bounces from me to the candy in his hand to the Advil on my nightstand.
“Ahhh, makes sense now. You’re on your period.” He hands me back the chocolate, and I snatch it from his hold. “I’ll give you this one pass, but if you hit me again, I’ll hit you back. I don’t care if you’re a girl. Don’t fucking hit me.”
I’m not even scared of his threat today. It’s not that I don’t believe him. I just don’t care about anything right now. “Don’t take my food, and I won’t have a reason to use violence. Now, please leave. As you already guessed right, I’m on my period. I’m grumpy and in pain. I don’t have a heating pad or a bathtub to soak in, and the Advil hasn’t kicked in yet, so please, for the love of everything, get out and let me eat my chocolate in peace.”