CHAPTER XXV.
MISS AMEDROZ HAS SOME HASHED CHICKEN.
Clara felt herself to be a coward as the Aylmer Park carriage, whichhad been sent to meet her at the station, was drawn up at Sir AnthonyAylmer's door. She had made up her mind that she would not bow downto Lady Aylmer, and yet she was afraid of the woman. As she got outof the carriage, she looked up, expecting to see her in the hall;but Lady Aylmer was too accurately acquainted with the weights andmeasures of society for any such movement as that. Had her sonbrought Lady Emily to the house as his future bride, Lady Aylmerwould probably have been in the hall when the arrival took place;and had Clara possessed ten thousand pounds of her own, she wouldprobably have been met at the drawing-room door; but as she hadneither money nor title,--as she in fact brought with her noadvantages of any sort, Lady Aylmer was found stitching a bit ofworsted, as though she had expected no one to come to her. AndBelinda Aylmer was stitching also,--by special order from her mother.The reader will remember that Lady Aylmer was not without stronghope that the engagement might even yet be broken off. Snubbing, shethought, might probably be efficacious to this purpose, and so Clarawas to be snubbed.
Clara, who had just promised to do her best to gain Lady Aylmer'sopinion, and who desired to be in some way true to her promise,though she thoroughly believed that her labour would be in vain, puton her pleasantest smile as she entered the room. Belinda, under thepressure of the circumstances, forgetting somewhat of her mother'sinjunctions, hurried to the door to welcome the stranger. Lady Aylmerkept her chair, and even maintained her stitch, till Clara was halfacross the room. Then she got up, and, with great mastery over hervoice, made her little speech.
"We are delighted to see you, Miss Amedroz," she said, putting outher hand,--of which Clara, however, felt no more than the finger.
"Quite delighted," said Belinda, yielding a fuller grasp. Then therewere affectionate greetings between Frederic and his mother andFrederic and his sister, during which Clara stood by, ill at ease.Captain Aylmer said not a word as to the footing on which his futurewife had come to his father's house. He did not ask his mother toreceive her as another daughter, or his sister to take his Clara toher heart as a sister. There had been no word spoken of recognisedintimacy. Clara knew that the Aylmers were cold people. She hadlearned as much as that from Captain Aylmer's words to herself, andfrom his own manner. But she had not expected to be so frozen by themas was the case with her now. In ten minutes she was sitting downwith her bonnet still on, and Lady Aylmer was again at her stitches.
"Shall I show you your room?" said Belinda.
"Wait a moment, my dear," said Lady Aylmer. "Frederic has gone to seeif Sir Anthony is in his study."
Sir Anthony was found in his study, and now made his appearance.
"So this is Clara Amedroz," he said. "My dear, you are welcometo Aylmer Park." This was so much better, that the kindnessexpressed,--though there was nothing special in it,--brought a tearinto Clara's eye, and almost made her love Sir Anthony.
"By the by, Sir Anthony, have you seen Darvel? Darvel was wantingto see you especially about Nuggins. Nuggins says that he'll takethe bullocks now." This was said by Lady Aylmer, and was skilfullyarranged by her to put a stop to anything like enthusiasm on the partof Sir Anthony. Clara Amedroz had been invited to Aylmer Park, andwas to be entertained there, but it would not be expedient that sheshould be made to think that anybody was particularly glad to seeher, or that the family was at all proud of the proposed connection.Within five minutes after this she was up in her room, and hadreceived from Belinda tenders of assistance as to her lady's maid.Both the mother and daughter had been anxious to learn whether Clarawould bring her own maid. Lady Aylmer, thinking that she would do so,had already blamed her for extravagance. "Of course Fred will haveto pay for the journey and all the rest of it," she had said. Butas soon as she had perceived that Clara had come without a servant,she had perceived that any young woman who travelled in that waymust be unfit to be mated with her son. Clara, whose intelligence insuch matters was sharp enough, assured Belinda that she wanted noassistance. "I dare say you think it very odd," she said, "but Ireally can dress myself." And when the maid did come to unpack thethings, Clara would have sent her away at once had she been able. Butthe maid, who was not a young woman, was obdurate. "Oh no, miss; mylady wouldn't be pleased. If you please, miss, I'll do it." And sothe things were unpacked.
Clara was told that they dined at half-past seven, and she remainedalone in her room till dinner-time, although it had not yet struckfive when she had gone up-stairs. The maid had brought her a cup oftea, and she seated herself at her fire, turning over in her mind thedifferent members of the household in which she found herself. Itwould never do. She told herself over and over again that it wouldnever come to pass that that woman should be her mother-in-law, orthat that other woman should be her sister. It was manifest to herthat she was distasteful to them; and she had not lost a moment inassuring herself that they were distasteful to her. What purposecould it answer that she should strive,--not to like them, for nosuch strife was possible,--but to appear to like them? The wholeplace and everything about it was antipathetic to her. Would it notbe simply honest to Captain Aylmer that she should tell him so atonce, and go away? Then she remembered that Frederic had not spokento her a single word since she had been under his father's roof. Whatsort of welcome would have been accorded to her had she chosen to godown to Plaistow Hall?
At half-past seven she made her way by herself down-stairs. In thisthere was some difficulty, as she remembered nothing of the roomsbelow, and she could not at first find a servant. But a man at lastdid come to her in the hall, and by him she was shown into thedrawing-room. Here she was alone for a few minutes. As she lookedabout her, she thought that no room she had ever seen had less of thecomfort of habitation. It was not here that she had met Lady Aylmerbefore dinner. There had, at any rate, been in that other room workthings, and the look of life which life gives to a room. But herethere was no life. The furniture was all in its place, and everythingwas cold and grand and comfortless. They were making company of herat Aylmer Park! Clara was intelligent in such matters, and understoodit all thoroughly.
Lady Aylmer was the first person to come to her. "I hope my maid hasbeen with you," said she;--to which Clara muttered something intendedfor thanks. "You'll find Richards a very clever woman, and quite aproper person."
"I don't at all doubt that."
"She has been here a good many years, and has perhaps little ways ofher own,--but she means to be obliging."
"I shall give her very little trouble, Lady Aylmer. I am used todress myself." I am afraid this was not exactly true as to Clara'spast habits; but she could dress herself, and intended to do so infuture, and in this way justified the assertion to herself.
"You had better let Richards come to you, my dear, while you arehere," said Lady Aylmer, with a slight smile on her countenance whichoutraged Clara more even than the words. "We like to see young ladiesnicely dressed here." To be told that she was to be nicely dressedbecause she was at Aylmer Park! Her whole heart was already up inrebellion. Do her best to please Lady Aylmer! It would be utterlyimpossible to her to make any attempt whatever in that direction.There was something in her ladyship's eye,--a certain mixture ofcunning, and power, and hardness in the slight smile that wouldgather round her mouth, by which Clara was revolted. She alreadyunderstood much of Lady Aylmer, but in one thing she was mistaken.She thought that she saw simply the natural woman; but she did, intruth, see the woman specially armed with an intention of beingdisagreeable, made up to give offence, and prepared to create dislikeand enmity. At the present moment nothing further was said, asCaptain Aylmer entered the room, and his mother immediately began totalk to him in whispers.
The two first days of Clara's sojourn at Aylmer Park passed bywithout the occurrence of anything that was remarkable. That whichmost surprised and annoyed her, as regarded her own position, was thecoldness of all the people around her, as conn
ected with the actualfact of her engagement. Sir Anthony was very courteous to her, buthad never as yet once alluded to the fact that she was to becomeone of his family as his daughter-in-law. Lady Aylmer called herMiss Amedroz,--using the name with a peculiar emphasis, as thoughdetermined to show that Miss Amedroz was to be Miss Amedroz as faras any one at Aylmer Park was concerned,--and treated her almost asthough her presence in the house was intrusive. Belinda was as coldas her mother in her mother's presence; but when alone with Clarawould thaw a little. She, in her difficulty, studiously avoidedcalling the new-comer by any name at all. As to Captain Aylmer, itwas manifest to Clara that he was suffering almost more than shesuffered herself. His position was so painful that she absolutelypitied him for the misery to which he was subjected by his ownmother. They still called each other Frederic and Clara, and thatwas the only sign of special friendship which manifested itselfbetween them. And Clara, though she pitied him, could not but learnto despise him. She had hitherto given him credit at any rate fora will of his own. She had believed him to be a man able to act inaccordance with the dictates of his own conscience. But now sheperceived him to be so subject to his mother that he did not dareto call his heart his own. What was to be the end of it all? Andif there could only be one end, would it not be well that thatend should be reached at once, so that she might escape from herpurgatory?
But on the afternoon of the third day there seemed to have come achange over Lady Aylmer. At lunch she was especially civil,--civil tothe extent of picking out herself for Clara, with her own fork, thebreast of a hashed fowl from a dish that was before her. This she didwith considerable care,--I may say, with a show of care; and then,though she did not absolutely call Clara by her Christian name, shedid call her "my dear." Clara saw it all, and felt that the usualplacidity of the afternoon would be broken by some special event. Atthree o'clock, when the carriage as usual came to the door, Belindawas out of the way, and Clara was made to understand that she andLady Aylmer were to be driven out without any other companion."Belinda is a little busy, my dear. So, if you don't mind, we'll goalone." Clara of course assented, and got into the carriage with aconviction that now she would hear her fate. She was rather inclinedto think that Lady Aylmer was about to tell her that she had failedin obtaining the approbation of Aylmer Park, and that she must bereturned as goods of a description inferior to the order given. Ifsuch were the case, the breast of the chicken had no doubt beenadministered as consolation. Clara had endeavoured, since she hadbeen at Aylmer Park, to investigate her own feelings in referenceto Captain Aylmer; but had failed, and knew that she had failed.She wished to think that she loved him, as she could not endure thethought of having accepted a man whom she did not love. And she toldherself that he had done nothing to forfeit her love. A woman whoreally loves will hardly allow that her love should be forfeited byany fault. True love breeds forgiveness for all faults. And, afterall, of what fault had Captain Aylmer been guilty? He had preachedto her out of his mother's mouth. That had been all! She had firstaccepted him, and then rejected him, and then accepted him again;and now she would fain be firm, if firmness were only possible toher. Nevertheless, if she were told that she was to be returned asinferior, she would hold up her head under such disgrace as best shemight, and would not let the tidings break her heart.
"My dear," said Lady Aylmer, as soon as the trotting horses androlling wheels made noise enough to prevent her words from reachingthe servants on the box, "I want to say a few words to you;--and Ithink that this will be a good opportunity."
"A very good opportunity," said Clara.
"Of course, my dear, you are aware that I have heard of somethinggoing on between you and my son Frederic." Now that Lady Aylmer hadtaught herself to call Clara "my dear," it seemed that she couldhardly call her so often enough.
"Of course I know that Captain Aylmer has told you of our engagement.But for that, I should not be here."
"I don't know how that might be," said Lady Aylmer; "but at any rate,my dear, he has told me that since the day of my sister's death therehas been--in point of fact, a sort of engagement."
"I don't think Captain Aylmer has spoken of it in that way."
"In what way? Of course he has not said a word that was not nice andlover-like, and all that sort of thing. I believe he would have doneanything in the world that his aunt had told him; and as to his--"
"Lady Aylmer!" said Clara, feeling that her voice was almosttrembling with anger, "I am sure you cannot intend to be unkind tome?"
"Certainly not."
"Or to insult me?"
"Insult you, my dear! You should not use such strong words, my dear;indeed you should not. Nothing of the kind is near my thoughts."
"If you disapprove of my marrying your son, tell me so at once, and Ishall know what to do."
"It depends, my dear;--it depends on circumstances, and that is justwhy I want to speak to you."
"Then tell me the circumstances,--though indeed I think it would havebeen better if they could have been told to me by Captain Aylmerhimself."
"There, my dear, you must allow me to judge. As a mother, of courseI am anxious for my son. Now Frederic is a poor man. Considering thekind of society in which he has to live, and the position which hemust maintain as a Member of Parliament, he is a very poor man."
This was an argument which Clara certainly had not expected thatany of the Aylmer family would condescend to use. She had alwaysregarded Captain Aylmer as a rich man since he had inherited Mrs.Winterfield's property, knowing that previously to that he had beenable to live in London as rich men usually do live. "Is he?" saidshe. "It may seem odd to you, Lady Aylmer, but I do not think that aword has ever passed between me and your son as to the amount of hisincome."
"Not odd at all, my dear. Young ladies are always thoughtless aboutthose things, and when they are looking to be married think thatmoney will come out of the skies."
"If you mean that I have been looking to be married--"
"Well;--expecting. I suppose you have been expecting it." Then shepaused; but as Clara said nothing, she went on. "Of course, Frederichas got my sister's moiety of the Perivale property;--about eighthundred a year, or something of that sort, when all deductions aremade. He will have the other moiety when I die, and if you and he canbe satisfied to wait for that event,--which may not perhaps be verylong--" Then there was another pause, indicative of the melancholynatural to such a suggestion, during which Clara looked at LadyAylmer, and made up her mind that her ladyship would live for thenext twenty-five years at least. "If you can wait for that," shecontinued, "it may be all very well, and though you will be poorpeople, in Frederic's rank of life, you will be able to live."
"That will be so far fortunate," said Clara.
"But you'll have to wait," said Lady Aylmer, turning upon hercompanion almost fiercely. "That is, you certainly will have to do soif you are to depend upon Frederic's income alone."
"I have nothing of my own,--as he knows; absolutely nothing."
"That does not seem to be quite so clear," said Lady Aylmer, speakingnow very cautiously,--or rather with a purpose of great caution; "Idon't think that that is quite so clear. Frederic has been telling methat there seems to be some sort of a doubt about the settlement ofthe Belton estate."
"There is no sort of doubt whatsoever;--no shadow of a doubt. He isquite mistaken."
"Don't be in such a hurry, my dear. It is not likely that youyourself should be a very good lawyer."
"Lady Aylmer, I must be in a hurry lest there should be any mistakeabout this. There is no question here for lawyers. Frederic must havebeen misled by a word or two which I said to him with quite anotherpurpose. Everybody concerned knows that the Belton estate goes to mycousin Will. My poor father was quite aware of it."
"That is all very well; and pray remember, my dear, that you need notattack me in this way. I am endeavouring, if possible, to arrange theaccomplishment of your own wishes. It seems that Mr. Belton himselfdoes not claim the property."
"There is no question of claiming. Because he is a man more generousthan any other person in the world,--romantically generous, hehas offered to give me the property which was my father's for hislifetime; but I do not suppose that you would wish, or that CaptainAylmer would wish, that I should accept such an offer as that." Therewas a tone in her voice as she said this, and a glance in her eye asshe turned her face full upon her companion, which almost prevailedagainst Lady Aylmer's force of character.
"I really don't know, my dear," said Lady Aylmer. "You are soviolent."
"I certainly am eager about this. No consideration on earth wouldinduce me to take my cousin's property from him."
"It always seemed to me that that entail was a most unfairproceeding."
"What would it signify even if it were,--which it was not? Papa gotcertain advantages on those conditions. But what can all that matter?It belongs to Will Belton."
Then there was another pause, and Clara thought that that subjectwas over between them. But Lady Aylmer had not as yet completed herpurpose. "Shall I tell you, my dear, what I think you ought to do?"
"Certainly, Lady Aylmer; if you wish it."
"I can at any rate tell you what it would become any young lady todo under such circumstances. I suppose you will give me credit forknowing as much as that. Any young lady placed as you are would berecommended by her friends,--if she had friends able and fit to giveher advice,--to put the whole matter into the hands of her naturalfriends and her lawyer together. Hear me out, my dear, if you please.At least you can do that for me, as I am taking a great deal oftrouble on your behalf. You should let Frederic see Mr. Green. Iunderstand that Mr. Green was your father's lawyer. And then Mr.Green can see Mr. Belton. And so the matter can be arranged. It seemsto me, from what I hear, that in this way, and in this way only,something can be done as to the proposed marriage. In no other waycan anything be done."
Then Lady Aylmer had finished her argument, and throwing herself backinto the carriage, seemed to intimate that she desired no reply.She had believed and did believe that her guest was so intent uponmarrying her son, that no struggle would be regarded as too greatfor the achievement of that object. And such belief was natural onher part. Mothers always so think of girls engaged to their sons,and so think especially when the girls are penniless, and the sonsare well to do in the world. But such belief, though it is natural,is sometimes wrong;--and it was altogether wrong in this instance."Then," said Clara, speaking very plainly, "nothing can be done."
"Very well, my dear."
After that there was not a word said between them till the carriagewas once more within the park. Then Lady Aylmer spoke again. "Ipresume you see, my dear, that under these circumstances anythought of marriage between you and my son must be quite out of thequestion,--at any rate for a great many years."
"I will speak to Captain Aylmer about it, Lady Aylmer."
"Very well, my dear. So do. Of course he is his own master. But he ismy son as well, and I cannot see him sacrificed without an effort tosave him."
When Clara came down to dinner on that day she was again MissAmedroz, and she could perceive,--from Belinda's manner quite asplainly as from that of her ladyship,--that she was to have no moretit-bits of hashed chicken specially picked out for her by LadyAylmer's own fork. That evening and the two next days passed, justas had passed the two first days, and everything was dull, cold, anduncomfortable. Twice she had walked out with Frederic, and on eachoccasion had thought that he would refer to what his mother had said;but he did not venture to touch upon the subject. Clara more thanonce thought that she would do so herself; but when the moments cameshe found that it was impossible. She could not bring herself to sayanything that should have the appearance of a desire on her part tohurry on a marriage. She could not say to him, "If you are too poorto be married,--or even if you mean to put forward that pretence,say so at once." He still called her Clara, and still asked her towalk with him, and still talked, when they were alone together, ina distant cold way, of the events of their future combined life.Would they live at Perivale? Would it be necessary to refurnish thehouse? Should he keep any of the land on his own hands? These areall interesting subjects of discussion between an engaged man andthe girl to whom he is engaged; but the man, if he wish to makethem thoroughly pleasant to the lady, should throw something of theurgency of a determined and immediate purpose into the discussion.Something should be said as to the actual destination of the rooms.A day should be fixed for choosing the furnishing. Or the gentlemanshould declare that he will at once buy the cows for the farm. Butwith Frederic Aylmer all discussions seemed to point to some cold,distant future, to which Clara might look forward as she did to thejoys of heaven. Will Belton would have bought the ring long since,and bespoken the priest, and arranged every detail of the honeymoontour,--and very probably would have stood looking into a cradle shopwith longing eyes.
At last there came an absolute necessity for some plain speaking.Captain Aylmer declared his intention of returning to London that hemight resume his parliamentary duties. He had purposed to remain tillafter Easter, but it was found to be impossible. "I find I must goup to-morrow," he said at breakfast. "They are going to make a standabout the Poor-rates, and I must be in the House in the evening."Clara felt herself to be very cold and uncomfortable. As things wereat present arranged she was to be left at Aylmer Park without afriend. And how long was she to remain there? No definite ending hadbeen proposed for her visit. Something must be said and somethingsettled before Captain Aylmer went away.
"You will come down for Easter, of course," said his mother.
"Yes; I shall come down for Easter, I think,--or at any rate atWhitsuntide."
"You must come at Easter, Frederic," said his mother.
"I don't doubt but I shall," said he.
"Miss Amedroz should lay her commands upon him," said Sir Anthonygallantly.
"Nonsense," said Lady Aylmer.
"I have commands to lay upon him all the same," said Clara; "and ifhe will give me half an hour this morning he shall have them." Tothis Captain Aylmer, of course, assented,--as how could he escapefrom such assent,--and a regular appointment was made. Captain Aylmerand Miss Amedroz were to be closeted together in the little backdrawing-room immediately after breakfast. Clara would willingly haveavoided any such formality could she have done so compatibly with theexigencies of the occasion. She had been obliged to assert herselfwhen Lady Aylmer had rebuked Sir Anthony, and then Lady Aylmer haddetermined that an air of business should be assumed. Clara, asshe was marched off into the back drawing-room, followed by herlover with more sheep-like gait even than her own, felt stronglythe absurdity and the wretchedness of her position. But she wasdetermined to go through with her purpose.
"I am very sorry that I have to leave you so soon," said CaptainAylmer as soon as the door was shut and they were alone together.
"Perhaps it may be better as it is, Frederic; as in this way we shallall come to understand each other, and something will be settled."
"Well, yes; perhaps that will be best."
"Your mother has told me that she disapproves of our marriage."
"No; not that, I think. I don't think she can have quite said that."
"She says that you cannot marry while she is alive,--that is, thatyou cannot marry me because your income would not be sufficient."
"I certainly was speaking to her about my income."
"Of course I have got nothing." Here she paused. "Not a penny-piecein the world that I can call my own."
"Oh yes, you have."
"Nothing. Nothing!"
"You have your aunt's legacy?"
"No; I have not. She left me no legacy. But as that is between youand me, if we think of marrying each other, that would make nodifference."
"None at all, of course."
"But in truth I have got nothing. Your mother said something to meabout the Belton estate; as though there was some idea that possiblyit might come to me."
"Your co
usin himself seemed to think so."
"Frederic, do not let us deceive ourselves. There can be nothing ofthe kind. I could not accept any portion of the property from mycousin,--even though our marriage were to depend upon it."
"Of course it does not."
"But if your means are not sufficient for your wants I am quiteready to accept that reason as being sufficient for breaking ourengagement."
"There need be nothing of the kind."
"As for waiting for the death of another person,--for your mother'sdeath, I should think it very wrong. Of course, if our engagementstands there need be no hurry; but--some time should be fixed." Claraas she said this felt that her face and forehead were suffused with ablush; but she was determined that it should be said, and the wordswere pronounced.
"I quite think so too," said he.
"I am glad that we agree. Of course, I will leave it to you to fixthe time."
"You do not mean at this very moment?" said Captain Aylmer, almostaghast.
"No; I did not mean that."
"I'll tell you what. I'll make a point of coming down at Easter. Iwasn't sure about it before, but now I will be. And then it shall besettled."
Such was the interview; and on the next morning Captain Aylmerstarted for London. Clara felt aware that she had not done or saidall that should have been done and said; but, nevertheless, a step inthe right direction had been taken.
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