by Lost
‘Nearly closing time,’ he noted, nodding at the clock. ‘When we’ve put the CLOSED sign up, I’ll bring out some of my new creations for you to try.’
‘Ok. And I’ll show you my designs for the boxes and bags. And maybe some of my photos,’ Sophie added.
They worked together without speaking after that to get the customers served and out of the door so they could clean down and prep for the next day. Once they’d finished, Raff set about bringing his new macarons out and Sophie ducked into the house to grab her sketch pad. Hesitating for a moment, she grabbed the old box of photographs she’d found the first day she’d arrived back in Paris.
‘What have you got there?’ Raff asked, juggling a tray of macarons.
‘Just some photos. I was going to show you my new ones and I suddenly thought maybe I’d show you these old ones I found as well.’
‘Great. I love looking at old photos. What are the new ones – all of Paris?’
Sophie shrugged. ‘Some of Coco. A couple of you.’
Raff looked up. ‘I’d love to see the ones of Coco.’
‘I’ll get a few nice ones of Henri as well if you like,’ Sophie offered.
‘That would be amazing.’ Raff stopped and gazed at her. ‘What a lovely thing to do.’
‘Don’t be silly.’ Sophie avoided his gaze. ‘It’s nothing.’ She couldn’t help thinking about the kiss last night and it was hard to concentrate. ‘Shall we try the macarons first?’
‘Ok.’ Raff set them out. ‘Right, so I ditched the strawberry and lemonade because it didn’t work and came up with raspberry and champagne instead, which I think is much better. Very delicate. We already have an orange blossom so I added more of a bitter edge to it and a Chantilly filling to give it a sweet contrast.’
‘Oh my God – so good,’ Sophie mumbled as she munched. ‘I absolutely love that one. Really love it.’
‘Yes?’ Raff looked pleased. ‘And the final one was the mango and white chocolate. I’m not sure if it’s too sweet though. What do you think?’
‘It’s lovely,’ Sophie mused, munching on the soft macaron. ‘But I know what you mean.’
Raff crunched on one. ‘I’ll have another go. I think the balance is wrong. Here. A final one. Not for now, but because I know you love these flavours.’
‘Chocolate-orange,’ Sophie met his eyes and smiled. ‘Aah. You remember.’
One of the things Mariele had always insisted they had at Christmas was a Terry’s Chocolate Orange. The English side of the family had always made sure every kid had a chocolate orange at Christmas time and she had continued that tradition every year. Consequently, Sophie loved anything with these flavours… hot chocolate with orange in it, Cointreau over chocolate sorbet.
‘That… is divine,’ she sighed. ‘You should include that one. Regardless of whether or not it’s Christmas. I’ll eat them, even if no one else does.’
‘Is the balance right? Not too strong on the orange?’
‘It’s perfect. Absolutely perfect.’
Raff felt pleased. Sophie had always talked about the chocolate orange tradition and he was glad he’d managed to capture the flavour combination accurately.
‘So that’s me with the new flavours. Do you think Mariele will approve when she’s back?’
‘Definitely. She’ll love the chocolate orange for sure. And the others. That raspberry and champagne one is delicious too, and none of them is too crazy or too out there.’
Raff pulled the box of photographs towards him. ‘So what’s in here then?’
‘Old photos. I didn’t even know mum had kept them.’ Sophie held up a folder. ‘And these are the new ones I’ve taken since I’ve been here.’
Raff started rifling through the faded photographs. ‘Wow. Look at your grandmother in that fur. That’s probably real.’
‘It is real! It looks and smells disgusting, aside from the cruelty aspect which I definitely don’t agree with.’
Raff wrinkled his nose. ‘A very French thing back in the day and I doubt she wears it much now. I love Fifi anyway – she’s such an amazing lady.’ He looked up. ‘I assume she doesn’t know about Mariele? She’d be here, surely?’
Sophie shook her head. ‘She messaged me a few weeks ago, but I didn’t even let her know I was here. I was going to tell her everything once mum was back, but I was assuming mum would be back by now, you know?’
Raff put his hand on Sophie’s. ‘Yes. I thought she would be too. Hopefully she’ll get back soon, although…’ He stopped, thinking better of it. He’d been on the point of mentioning that he was worried about what would happen when Mariele came back, only because selfishly he couldn’t help wondering if it meant that Sophie might head back to England.
Sophie bit her lip. She knew what Raff was alluding to, even if he hadn’t uttered the sentence out loud. Because she had been thinking the same thing herself. Sophie couldn’t wait for her mum to come home so she could find out what had been going on with her and reassure herself that Mariele was ok. But she also knew… she would have to return to England after that. And where did that leave her and Raff?
Sophie internally shook her head. Her and Raff? What were they anyway? They had shared one kiss; that hardly made them a couple again. It might just be a little bit of unfinished business. Sophie frowned. Ryan had not stopped messaging her over the past week or so and he had called her four times. She had taken the stance of ignoring him, especially since she and Raff had become closer, but oddly, Ryan appeared to be becoming more and more persistent. Sophie hoped to God he wasn’t planning to turn up or anything. She didn’t know how she’d feel about that. Sophie was fairly certain she was well and truly over Ryan, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to come face to face with him any time soon. Sophie continued to feel calmness as far as Ryan was concerned though; he had always been that strong, stabilising influence.
‘There are quite a few of me here,’ Raff commented. He couldn’t help feeling rather pleased about that. He had thought Sophie might have binned any photos she’d taken of him. When they were together, he would often turn to find a camera aimed in his direction and at first, it had unnerved him, but he had slowly got used to it, to the point where he barely noticed the lens on him. It was strange seeing these photos of himself. They took him right back to all those special moments with Sophie. God, but they had been happy together. Raff felt his heart ping slightly at the rush of feeling he got from the recollection.
Sophie wasn’t sure what to say. She could see the smile on Raff’s face and she felt guilty for leaving the photographs behind. And yet… she was so glad she hadn’t thrown them away. If she’d taken them with her, they would have been too painful to look at anyway, so at least her mum had held on to them here in Paris.
‘Who’s this?’ Raff held up a black and white photograph. It was a photo of the handsome man Sophie had a vague recollection of, the one that her mum had photographed several times at some stage.
‘I have no idea. I kind of recognise him, but I’m not sure why. I assume my mum knew him.’
Raff tapped the photograph. ‘I mean… is it worth trying to get in touch with any of these people? Some of these people from years ago? Mariele said something in that written message about finding her heart or whatever. Maybe she’s trying to track down an old lover. Someone who meant something to her.’
‘God, maybe. It’s definitely a route we haven’t gone down yet.’ Sophie felt a rush of expectation. ‘Is there anything on the back on the photo?’
Raff checked. ‘No. But let’s check all of them.’
Feeling a buzz of excitement, Sophie picked up a stash of photographs. Why hadn’t she thought of this? Her mum wasn’t the most meticulous person when it came to details, but she did hoard things, so there might be something…
Sophie and Raff went through the photographs together, pulling batches out and flipping them over to see if there were any clues. At the end, they had a sparse pile. There was a group one with a date and s
ome names, but only first names. There were dates on a few others, but no names. And one of the handsome man simply had a ‘T’ on the back.
‘Well, that’s another dead end,’ Sophie said, disappointed. ‘I really thought we might be onto something there.’
‘Are there any other photographs around? A diary? Anything else we can check?’
‘I’m not sure.’ Sophie felt crestfallen.
‘Ok, listen.’ Raff gathered the photographs up. ‘It was just a thought. Your mum is constantly in touch so she must be ok. She’s just taking some time out for a while. So let’s make her happy by working on the business, as she asked. Yes?’
‘Yes.’ Sophie let out a jerky breath. This was one of the best things about Raff. He was both practical and positive and he always seemed to make things better.
‘Show me your new photos and then we’ll have a look at your design stuff.’
Sophie handed him the folder and grabbed her sketch book.
‘Wow. These are stunning, Soph.’ Raff shuffled through the photographs. ‘You have such a good eye. Paris looks totally different through your lens and I really mean that.’
‘Thank you.’ Sophie couldn’t help feeling delighted that Raff loved her photos. She was pretty sure he wouldn’t say such a thing if he didn’t mean it.
‘I love this one of the macaron shop,’ Raff said, narrowing his eyes as he held it away from him. ‘It looks really pretty with all the flowers hanging over the doorway and around the main window. It’s old-fashioned, but so charming.’
Sophie raised her eyebrows. She hadn’t taken much notice of the photo after she’d taken it; it was just one of the shopfront and she thought her mum might like to see it when she came home.
‘Mon Dieu.’ Raff stared at one of the photos. ‘This one of Coco. It’s… stunning.’ His heart was in his mouth. He rarely took photographs of Coco – and seeing this, he really wished he had taken more – and of course, he was used to seeing her. But looking at her like this, frozen in time for a moment, Raff was taken aback by how beautiful his daughter was. She looked innocent and young and fresh, and Raff felt inordinately proud of her.
It was a colour photograph of Coco outside the Louvre as Sophie had approached them, but it was quite a close-up shot. Sophie had used her most powerful, long distance lens and it was a head shot. Coco had been turning towards Sophie so it was a very natural shot, with her hair blowing in the wind and her lips parted expectantly.
Sophie leant over. ‘Oh yes. That’s a beautiful one. But she’s easy to photograph, Raff. She’s a lovely-looking girl. So naturally pretty.’
‘I am so blown away by that,’ Raff said, not sure why he felt as though he had a lump in his throat. ‘It’s just that… I don’t often take photographs of Coco. And I really regret that because I’ve probably missed lots of stages of her life.’ He met her eyes. ‘Well. Not just the ones where I’ve been around her. All the other times too.’
Sophie’s brow furrowed. Of course. Raff had missed out on so much of Coco’s life. From birth to the age of ten, to be exact. Perhaps Estelle had photos of Coco as a baby and toddler, but since none of them were in touch with her, the issue of photographs was a dead end.
‘Never mind,’ she said reassuringly. ‘I’ll take as many photographs of her as I can before I… before I…’
Raff met her eyes. ‘Leave?’ he finished.
‘Erm…’ Sophie couldn’t tear her eyes away. ‘I… I…’
‘Let’s not talk about that,’ Raff said briskly. ‘Let’s focus on the business and on getting your mum back here. Your designs?’
Sophie was shocked to find herself blinking tears away. Was the thought of heading back to England so terrible? Her whole life was there! Jo, Pinter, work. Although her work was obviously portable. And actually, her entire family lived in Paris. She was all over the show at the moment: right now Sophie had no idea where her head or her heart were.
‘So… anyway, this was my first attempt.’ Sophie showed Raff a silver, swirly pattern that could be a repeater pattern across the boxes and bags.
‘Lovely. It’s classy and timeless. I really like it.’
‘These are some other versions of it.’ Sophie turned the pages. ‘And some other ideas I came up with and rejected.’
They discussed all of them, and Raff agreed that the rejected ones had been rejected with good reason. Sophie had also changed the style of the logo and name of the shop to match the new, swirly pattern.
‘I wonder whether it needs to be more personal though,’ Raff considered.
‘More personal?’
Raff shuffled through the photographs. ‘How about using the design as the background and use this photograph of the shop on the boxes? Or just the bags?’
‘Do you think so?’ Sophie was unsure. She wasn’t convinced the photograph would look that great as part of the design. Maybe a glossy version? ‘It’s something to play around with.’
‘Definitely. I just think Mariele might like it. But we can always ask her when she’s back.’
‘Ok.’ Sophie collected up her photos and her folders. ‘I’m going to call Pinter tomorrow; I think he wants me to check out the hotel before the wedding. Did you want to come with me?’
‘Of course.’ Raff grabbed her hand. ‘Hey.’ He pulled her towards him. And kissed her again. ‘That wasn’t a one-off last night,’ he said close to her ear.
‘Good,’ she whispered back. Giving him a smile, Sophie pulled away. She didn’t want it to go any further. Yet. She needed to stay focused on getting her mum back and doing whatever was needed with the business.
‘See you tomorrow then,’ Raff said, lazily smiling at her. ‘I need to get back to check on Henri and Coco.’
‘Ok. I’ll take those pictures of Henri soon too. And some more of Coco.’
Raff watched her walking away, feeling absurdly happy. After making sure everything was in order for the following day in the macaron shop, he made his way outside and locked up. Strolling away from it, his phone rang and he answered it without looking at it.
‘Allo?’
‘Raff.’
Raff stopped dead. Estelle.
‘Ça va?’
Raff felt a flicker of annoyance rising up. He hadn’t seen or spoken to Estelle in what? Ten months? And neither had Coco, and now Estelle was casually phoning up out of the blue and asking how he was?
‘Is Coco with you?’
‘No, she’s not,’ Raff replied sharply. ‘Why?’
‘Just asking,’ Estelle said airily. ‘She’s not answering her phone.’
‘We haven’t heard from you in a while.’
Raff felt intensely irritated. Estelle always did this. Popped up out of nowhere and expected them all to drop everything because she’d decided she wanted to get in touch and come and see Coco.
‘I’ve been ridiculously busy,’ Estelle informed him breezily.
Raff started walking again. He was sure Estelle had been busy. She always was, even though he wasn’t exactly sure what she was doing most of the time. She still seemed to be doing a bit of modelling here and there, and she also wrote a tongue-in-cheek blog about it. She travelled around France and other countries in Europe, sometimes further afield, always documenting her travels and using social media to the max.
Not that Raff ever paid much attention to it. He had a feeling Coco had stopped looking long ago too, even though at her age, she was a social media aficionado. Estelle was still talking, mostly about herself. Raff waited for her to ask how Coco was, how Henri was. Predictably, she didn’t.
‘Anyway, I’ll be in Paris again soon,’ Estelle finished.
Raff stopped walking again. What?
‘How soon?’
‘Oh, in the next week or so I should imagine.’
Raff’s heart sank. This was all he needed. Wherever Estelle went, drama followed. She was just one of those people who attracted drama and trouble – Raff was fairly sure Estelle courted it in fact. There was a c
ommotion every time Estelle came back, usually for Coco. Raff felt a rush of trepidation. He worried so much about Coco when Estelle was around; it was as though Coco suffered from extreme silent anxiety, perhaps from feeling completely incapable of vocalising what was going on in her head.
Raff also couldn’t imagine Sophie feeling over the moon about Estelle turning up. And how would Estelle react to Sophie? She had always been horribly jealous of her. Louis and some of Raff’s other friends were certain that was why Estelle had turned up with Coco in the first place five years ago – because she had heard via friends that Raff was serious about someone, that he was settling down and talking about marriage and children. Raff had no idea if that was true or not and he wasn’t arrogant enough to automatically believe such a thing. All he knew was that whenever Estelle came to Paris, Coco became rebellious and badly behaved, and trouble ensued.
That said, Estelle had often said she would be arriving at a certain time and then wouldn’t. More than once, when she was younger, Coco had got her hopes up, only to be desperately let down when Estelle hadn’t appeared. These days, Coco kept herself in balance until Estelle physically arrived, but the change in her behaviour and attitude always angered and saddened Raff.
‘Right. Well, maybe call nearer the time to confirm,’ Raff said firmly.
‘Oh of course, of course,’ Estelle agreed. ‘I’ll be in touch soon. Des bisous, Raphael.’ And with that, she was gone.
Kisses? Raff was fuming. Estelle had signed off her phone call with ‘Kisses’. That was typical of Estelle; she always assumed she and Raff would pick up where they had left off whenever she sailed through Paris on a whim. Which had only happened twice in the whole time since Sophie had left – and alcohol had been involved both times. But Raff was still livid with himself for falling for Estelle’s sycophantic, temptress act, even if he had been stupidly lonely at the time.