She backed up to the wall at once. “Please,” she whispered. “They’ll know if I don’t. They’ll know it was me.” Maybe there was a part of her that believed he could understand what she was saying. How could there not be when his growling immediately stopped and he appeared to study her? As if regarding what she had just spoken.
“I’m going to help you.” She continued. “It’s cruel what they’re doing, but I don’t think you’re strong enough to hunt and survive on your own if I released you. And…I’m not strong enough either, there’s something strange going on here, and Charles is an asshole,” the wolf huffed as if in agreement, “but I need them. At least for now.” She finished.
The wolf considered her for a moment and then huffed, shaking his shaggy head. He sat back on his haunches again and waited. She approached him carefully, just as she did before, and when she got close enough, he licked the backs of her hands until she was laughing.
“Okay, that’s enough.” She begged, she had enough wolf drool to last her a lifetime. She started fastening the muzzle back into place and even though it might give her away, she couldn’t bear to put it on as tight as Charles and Nathan had.
“There.” She said as she was finished, but before she gave into the fear and stepped away, she brought a shaking hand up to scratch behind the wolf’s ear. “Thank you.” She told him sincerely and stroked her hand gently over the top of his broad head. “I’ll be back tomorrow. I swear.”
He pawed the ground and laid down, curling into a tight ball of shaggy, black fur. Kira stuffed the empty chicken bag into her pocket and just barely remembered to secure the padlock as she left. She paused and considered covering her footprints in the snow, but as she considered it, the low clouds that had been hanging ominously over them all day opened, and it began to snow. So, she hoped it would be enough to cover her tracks, and went inside, cold and exhausted.
The house was just as dark and silent as when she left it. No one had been aware of her little midnight outing. She took off Emmie’s boots and hung up her coat, creeping back up the stairs. She paused in front of Nathan’s door, staring at the menacing lock, the only door that had one. She would ask Emmie about Nathan’s wife, the only member of the family she had yet to meet, but that was a problem for tomorrow.
Chapter 7
After her late-night escapade, Benji’s knocking came much sooner than she wanted it. Despite the mysteries unraveling around her, she could not forget that he had tried to kiss her last night. She wondered if Nick told him about what had transpired between them last night, but when she opened her door, Benji looked just as happy to see her as always so she’d guess not.
She smiled tiredly. “Morning, Benji.” She hoped she didn’t look as exhausted as she felt.
His smile dropped. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just-I had a headache and I didn’t sleep well.” She lied. “I think I’m going to skip breakfast and take a hot bath, maybe I’ll feel better.”
“Well…I’ll make sure Emmie saves you something.” He offered.
“Thanks Benji, you’re sweet.” She said and watched the color bloom on his cheeks. Oops.
She shut her door before he got anymore ideas about trying to kiss her. Because he’s not the brother you want to be kissing, is he? Her traitorous brain supplied. She groaned aloud at herself and scooped up a change of clothes to take with her into the upstairs washroom. She had already shut the bathroom door behind her when she realized there was already someone standing in front of the sink.
Nick was gripping the sides of the basin, his knuckles white with the pressure from his grip. His shoulders were hunched inward and lined with tension, she caught his eyes in the mirror and jolted. The normally yellow irises looked instead a penetrating chestnut brown, they softened when they saw her, melting like coffee with just enough cream. Is this what love does? Make you think cheesy thoughts whenever you see your lover? Except, they weren’t lovers and they weren’t in love. Not with you, the words he spoke cut through her like a physical wound. But even as a needle of pain ripped through her chest at the thought, she insisted to herself that she wasn’t in love with him. How could I be? I met him five days ago. Please… She pleaded with herself to see reason.
Oblivious of her inner turmoil, Nick jerked away from the sink, severing their connection through the mirror. When she sought out his eyes again, they were their normal golden hue. I must have imagined it.
“What are you doing in here?” He demanded.
“I was going to take a bath.” She defended. “Something that usually takes place in a bathroom.” She added sarcastically. His rejection from last night still burned her. Not to mention there was that whole business with the poor wolf locked in the shed. From the sounds of Charles and Nathan’s conversation, Nick didn’t approve of whatever they were doing, but she knew from experience that indifference could be just as bad as the crime.
“Well maybe you should try knocking next time.” He said.
“And maybe you should try locking the door.” She shot back.
He said nothing and that somehow hurt worse than if he had continued their argument. He stalked forward, reaching for the door, but she stepped in front of him, blocking his route. He tried to side step around her but she blocked him again. He finally stopped, rubbing a hand down his face. He didn’t look angry anymore, just tired.
“What are you doing, Kira?” He asked softly.
“I want you to tell me what you meant last night.” She insisted. “I thought we-I thought we were getting along. I thought you liked me…” She tapered off weakly.
“What is this? Middle school?” He questioned. “Do you really want to know if I like like you, Kira?” He added nastily.
“Don’t be an asshole, Nick, it doesn’t suit you.” She said and for a moment he actually looked ashamed.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. “You don’t deserve that.”
“No, I don’t.” She agreed. There may have been a time, one not that long ago when she might have thought that she deserved to be treated like that, but she had grown, changed.
“I don’t know how to explain it.” He said honestly.
“Why don’t you try?” She encouraged. “Just start from the beginning, tell me what you can.”
“Benji…He likes you.” Nick began and she rolled her eyes.
“Yeah, I kinda noticed that much.” She said and narrowed her eyes at him. “If you try to tell me that he called ‘dibs’ or something else as stupid as that I swear to God I will punch you in the dick.”
The guilty expression on his face told her what she needed to know.
“He did, didn’t he? Jesus, that is disgusting, you know that? Am I just supposed to lay back and fuck whoever called dibs first? I don’t get any say in who I kiss or who I have sex with?” She ranted, her lips pressing into a thin line, her chest rising and falling with the heated breath of her anger. “And to think I actually liked you.”
He reached towards her, as if planning on drawing her into his arms. “Kira, I can explain.” He begged but she slapped away his outstretched hand, shaking her head slowly.
“I don’t want you to explain anything to me. What I want is for you to get out and leave me alone. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll tell Benji I don’t want to see his face anywhere near me today.” She said firmly. “I’ll do my chores alone and I swear, if I see either one of you following me around, I’ll leave.”
This time, Nick was smart enough to keep his mouth closed. He nodded tersely and reached around her to jerk open the bathroom door. She slammed it closed after him, turning the lock. She brought her change of clothes up to cover her mouth, holding them there tightly to muffle her frustrated shriek.
“You told her?!” She heard Benji bellow from downstairs. Looks like Nick gave him my message. The rest of the argument was too muffled for her to clearly make out any words, but she recognized Charles voice joining the fray. This made her irrationally angry, to know that the
three of them were arguing about something that should have been her choice all along.
She set down her clothes, perching on the edge of the tub has she filled it with water that was as hot as she could stand. I’m a fool. The lone, miserable thought rattled around her brain as the tub filled. No, they’re the fools. Why do men have to act like such assholes sometimes? She turned off the tap before the water got too high but still made no move to get in and bathe. Maybe there’s a defect in their brain that only activates when they’re attracted to someone. Steam rose off the glassy, still surface of the water. I mean, there has to be, she reasoned with herself, because women don’t act like fools when they’re in love. She sighed and finally swung her legs over the side, sinking down in the hot water.
She realized a second too late that she was still fully clothed in her pajamas. The sodden fabric clung to her limbs as heat blossomed on her cheeks even though there was no one else to witness her stupidity. She pinched the edge of her soggy night shirt, peeling it away from her skin.
“I guess men aren’t the only ones that act like fools.” She admitted aloud.
***
When she finally made it downstairs, Charles and Nathan had already left for the ranger’s station and just like she had requested, Benji and Nick were no where in sight. There was only Emmie, humming softly to herself as she cleared away the breakfast plates. She was wearing another dress totally unsuitable compared to the weather outside, this one was powder blue with thin straps at the shoulders. It was the first time that Kira had seen her without sleeves, so it was the first time that she noticed the scarring on Emmie’s shoulder. It was in a large circular shape, with jagged edges, white and shiny with age. It must have been a nasty wound to produce so much scarring. As she approached the table, she noticed it looked almost like a bite. She could see the indentations left by the teeth. Maybe it was the wolf, but she dismissed the thought as soon as it came, it was too old to be from the wolf locked in the shed.
Emmie turned when she heard her, offering up a timid smile. “Benji is upset.” She told her, like it mattered to Kira how Benji felt about all this.
“I don’t really care if he’s upset. I’m upset.” Kira snapped.
Emmie reached up, playing nervously with the ends of her hair. “He’s a good boy, man, I mean. He really likes you, he’s just not as mature as the others.”
“He called dibs on me, like it didn’t even matter what I wanted.” She reminded her.
“He’s just used to being overshadowed by his brothers.” Emmie defended, desperation leaking into her voice.
“Listen, I don’t really want to talk about this right now. What Benji did was immature and wrong, but if he comes to me and apologizes and means it, I might forgive him. But…everything is just too fresh right now, I’m just too angry. So, I’m going to go do my chores, alone, and try to calm down.” She explained and reached out to squeeze Emmie’s hand. “You’ve been very kind to me, but I can’t help how I feel.”
Her eyes flicked towards the plate still warm on the oven. “But your breakfast.” She protested.
“Can you wrap it up for me?” She asked. “I’ll get it later.” And she would, but she just wouldn’t be the one eating it. Not that Emmie had to know that.
Now back in familiar territory, Emmie sent her a relieved smile. “Yes, yes, of course. You just heat it up whenever you get hungry.”
She began her chores with renewed energy, tending to the chickens and Emmie’s vegetable garden first before deciding to tackle the barn. She was laying down fresh hay for the horses when she noticed the long shadow stretching across the floor. She cast her eyes up and caught Nick smirking at her as he leaned against the doorframe, his eyebrow arched, obviously waiting for her reaction when she clearly had bade him to stay away.
“What are you doing here?” She demanded. “I thought I warned you-” But he was striding towards her. He gathered her in his arms, cutting off whatever she was going to say with a bruising kiss. One of his hands tangled in the back of her long, loose hair, the other was groping at her hip, trying to drag her impossibly closer. Her own hands fell to rest on his biceps, clutching him in her shock, but when she came to her senses she shoved hard at his strong chest, forcing some distance between the two of them.
“What the hell are you doing?” She hissed. “You-you think I could still want you after the way you two talked about me?”
“I do.” He said resolutely. “I absolutely do, because I still want you.” He confessed, though it looked like it pained him to get the words out. “I still want you. Even after Benji and Charles, even Nathan, told me to give it up, that you didn’t belong with me, and I’m sorry that I listened. I am, I’ve never regretted anything more, except for maybe being born.”
An involuntary, painful noise left her throat and she reached for him automatically, it hurt her to know that he thought that way. His fingers curled around her outstretched arm, guiding her back into his arms. This time she went easily.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered again. “I’m so sorry. You’re allowed to make your own decisions, of course you are, and if you truly want me to leave just say so and I’ll fuck off.”
She tilted her head back, locking their lips together instead of answering him outright. How could any words follow up an apology like that? It was the first time she had ever been apologized to by a man. I take back everything I ever said about him being an asshole, was the last coherent thought she had before she gave herself over to the sensations of the kiss.
“We can’t say anything to the others.” He whispered in between fevered kisses. “Benji’s going to be pissy for awhile and this will take some…careful explaining.”
“I don’t care, just shut up and keep kissing me.” She said breathlessly and tangled her fingers in his messy, raven locks. A slow smile curved over his mouth and he clasped her face, separating them so he could drag his eyes up and down her body. She took the chance to inspect his face, it’s flushed with arousal, his golden eyes lit with fire.
“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, mirroring her own thoughts. A heavy silence fell over them as they met eyes. She was the first to avert her gaze, there was something intimate about staring deeply into someone’s eyes, she read once you could even fall in love with a stranger that way.
He grabbed her chin, tilting her face up until they’re meeting lips again. Their mouths move together and a sudden strong, fall breeze rushes down the aisle of the barn, pushing his scent towards her. He smelled like home, cloves and freshly sanded wood. They broke apart to breathe and then their lips are crashing together again, this time Nick’s tongue is pressing incessantly into her mouth. He tastes like cinnamon and his tongue is warm, wet velvet against her own as he overwhelms all her senses.
He leaves her lips to trail kisses along the line of her neck. Her head thumped back painfully against the barnwood wall, but she couldn’t have cared less, not when his tongue was lathing over her collar bone. One of his hands was braced on the wall beside her head, the other was molded around her hip. His teeth playfully nipped her neck, trailing back up to her mouth. With their lips tenderly pressed together, she felt like her blood was fizzing as something electrified shot up her spine, ignited by his touch.
She let his thigh nudge her legs apart. Nick’s hand caressed up and down her back, following the arc of her spine. His hand slid down to rest on the smooth, sensitive skin of her lower back, sneaking down farther until it reached the curve of her jean clad ass, his hand curled around the plump mound and she couldn’t help the whimpering moan she released into his mouth. The thick, hard muscle of his thigh slid up between her legs as he pressed them further together and she couldn’t help but grind herself against it, desperately seeking friction as arousal swelled within her belly until she was throbbing for release.
Their shifting rucked her shirt and jacket up her midriff, exposing her to the chilling air. Nick’s warm hand slid back of her hip, exploring the newly exposed skin
before shoving her shirt up until it was bunched uncomfortably around her neck. He cupped one of her breasts in his hot palm and squeezed, massaging the sensitive flesh. With each jostle, her nipple scraped over the rough fabric of her bra, hardening it until she was sure he could see the outline of her nipple through the fabric.
She willed herself to pull back, to break their marathon of kisses and catch her breath but her body refused to listen, save for an involuntary grind against his thick thigh between her legs. Nick was the one to finally break their kiss, ducking his head to suck over her cloth covered nipple. His dark hair, loose from her fingers, fell over his face as he laved attention over her breast, and she was caught by how handsome he looked.
“Oh…” The moan left her as he closed his teeth over her nipple, biting gently. He pulled his mouth away from her, fingers pinching her nipples teasingly.
“We don’t have long until dinner.” He said and when she clearly doesn’t understand what he means, he added, “they’ll come looking if you’re not there.”
Her hand fumbled between their bodies, pressing firmly over the bulge straining his jeans. “We can be quick, can’t we?” She asked and that was all he needed to hear.
He reached between them, popping open the button of her jeans, shoving them down her thighs until they pooled around her calves. Her stomach jolts when he roughly shoved her panties aside, slipping a finger inside her entrance. A smirk curled on his lips when he found her open and slick from arousal. She tried to smack the smirk from his face but he began to finger her roughly until she was gripping his shoulders, squirming in excitement.
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