This was to be their last day here. Plans had been made. This war was not over, and Etachs had to lead them. But how to lead when your heart had been ripped from your chest, to go its own way, to follow its own path?
They had been healed. Anais fixed the damage her magic had done, and Etachs felt the difference in their body. While they had never been weak or slow, they were now much stronger, and much faster. Their eyesight and hearing keener, and there was something else, something they dared not speak about to anyone.
They unfolded the letter and looked down at it, reading it again, even though it tore them open every time.
Etachs,
You know this already, but I need to tell you, for me. So just this once you must bear it without objection. I love you, heart, mind, body, and soul. I never meant to hurt you. I would never have done it on my own. Tatiana and I have gone to seek the Oracle. I can't risk delaying the trip if it means the risk of putting you and everyone else in danger by staying. I am keeping you asleep with my magic until we are too far gone for you to follow.
I know what you would say if you caught up to us, and I can't hear it. I can't hear you say you forgive me, because I need to be unforgiven in order to get through this. I can't explain what happened. My magic has never taken from me before, and that's what it did. It took from me, and when I was healing you it did it again. I need to be able to get a grip on it before I can be around others. I tried to talk Tati into staying behind, but she would not hear of it. You know how she is. Ayesha would not leave you, so I have left her to keep you safe. Make sure you mind her. She's the one in charge while I am away.
Thrixx got away. Tarq said it was some kind of emergency escape pod, but that it likely doesn't have the range for them to get off-world. You must stay ever vigilant. If you encounter them, kill them. They can't get away from us again. As much as I want to kill them myself for what they did to me, and you and Tati, I would rather know they are dead, no matter whose hand claims their life. I have taken my terminal, but have disabled one to one communication. Talk to Tarq about what we have set up. Being away from you will be hard enough. I don't know if I could handle daily communications when every instinct will be screaming at me to return to your closeness.
We never got a chance to talk about it before I left, but in case something happens I don't ever want to regret not telling you. I love you. I have loved you for a long time. It's never the right time, and I don't know what any of that means for us. I can love you like a bosom friend if that's all you want. I can do that. I never meant to hurt you. I hope this doesn't do the kind of damage I can't heal.
I'm sorry, for everything. You are my heart. My whole heart.
Love Eternal,
Anais
Etachs sighed and folded the letter again, placing it in the small bag Anais had made them all those months ago to wear on their hip. They rose and stretched, as the sun set behind them. Cylvre had said that Tatiana and Anais headed East. Etachs thought that sounded like the way it should be. East towards the dawn, towards new beginnings. While they missed the sisters every second, there was work to be done here. Anais had left a route, a plan for the rest of them to continue this revolution. To take the planet back and build a better world for all who wanted to stay.
They were doing what Marx had so wanted to do. When Etachs had awoken that first day, they had found a blank notebook with Anais' careful scrawl on the inside cover: Write all that happens here, Etachs, write it so we can never forget. We dedicate our victories to the memory of Marx, may they find rest in the land beyond. Etachs descended back into the ship, their gaze on the floor, not speaking as they walked. The group would head out tomorrow, towards the next Defect camp to liberate more of their kind, but for tonight, Etachs would write. Etachs would write for all of them.
Acknowledgement
No person is an island, and that is certainly true for me. While I know that many people skip over the acknowledgments in books, I never do. It is always so meaningful to me to read the names of all the people who have touched the author of a book in such a way that they feel that thanks are necessary, not just in a card, or in a hug, or a phone call, but in printed, published text. To live on immortal in the backs of all their books forever.
First and foremost, I would like to thank my parents. My mother for never saying a bad word about my incessant need to write. For buying me countless journals and allowing me the creative freedom to express myself without judgment. My father was a prolific writer himself, and when he passed away, I went through boxes and boxes of stories and poems that he wrote on every available surface. Envelopes for bills and bar napkins became portals to the uncharted realm of his imagination. These discoveries, made after his death, motivated me to write this, so that my children will never have to sift through the words I never said when I am gone.
My grandmother also deserves some praise, as she told me when I was 16 years old, and I sent her a story that I wrote, that I needed to write books. She told me she’d wait every day of the rest of her life to publish, as long as I did it eventually. Here I am, with a novel in print, and it only took me 17 years to fulfill her prophecy. The rest of my family also deserves some thanks for their love and encouragement and the trauma that every writer needs to hone their imagination into something tangible.
Sometimes, even more important than our relatives, is the family we choose to create in our lives. I would like to thank my partner, for being a steadfast rock in my life, and always encouraging me, but not being afraid to tell me when I am too pedantic. I would like to thank Tai Rae, for her relentless patience. She edited this book chapter by chapter, as I wrote a very rough first draft. I am naturally comma-addicted, and, she, lovingly, deleted, every, single, one. Without her support I would be incoherent and loved a hell of a lot less. My happiest moments are when I am with her, and I hope that they are always in abundance.
I would also like to thank Diana Mitchell, and Taryn Leigh for their willingness to subject themselves to this book in its infancy, and the unflinching patience to love me throughout.
Every Heathen needs a place to be among their own kind, a Hideaway if you will. I have found mine, and they will forever be closer than family, my soulmates for this life and whatever may come after.
And of course, to my final editor Ashley Schwellenbach, who is herself a prolific and wondrous author. Please read her books.
I keep to no gods, but I would like to thank the Washington State Cannabis industry, The GAMP Fam’s annual brain vacation, and The Grateful Dead for the mind-bending state that it took to dream up this fantasy land.
About The Author
Paige Graffunder
Paige lives in Seattle with her partner, kid, and cat, working in legal cannabis and writing nigh constantly. Despite writing fiction for her entire life, Anais Eternal is the first book she has published under her own name. For more information or to get in touch please go to http://PaigeWritesSciFi.com
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