by Ashey, Katie
“What? But I thought I was supposed to have pain and then that would happen.”
“I had three deliveries and not a single one was the same.”
“Oh…”
“Jonathan?” Martin question.
“Yeah, Dad?”
“You’re going to need to get Presley to the hospital.”
“Shit,” Jonathan and I both muttered.
“Presley, you need to call your mother.”
“Um, okay.”
“We’ll start looking for flights.”
Jonathan and I didn’t reply. I think we were both still stunned. Martin’s voice brought us out of our stupor. “Listen, you drive carefully, okay?”
“Yeah,” Jonathan replied absently.
“Let us know when you get to the hospital,” Evelyn instructed.
“Okay, I will,” I replied.
Once Jonathan hung up, he nodded at me. “Right. Let’s go.”
When we got into the hall, a contraction contorted me so furiously that I screamed. I could barely breathe, least of all stand, and I ended up sinking to my knees.
“Jesus!” Jonathan cried before he dropped down beside me. “Are you okay?”
Since I still couldn’t speak, I merely shook my head. Instead, I focused my attention and energy on getting the air into my lungs and then exhaling it.
“Guess that was a stupid thing to ask, huh?” Jonathan replied as he took my hands in his. “Isn’t someone supposed to be counting while you breathe?”
Even though I was enveloped in pain, I jerked my head up to stare at him. “You…know…Lamaze?”
“Well, I haven’t been to a class or anything like that, but I know the basics.”
“You researched it?”
A sheepish grin curved on his lips. “Actually, I remembered seeing it in movies and on television.”
“Mm-hmm.” With the pain subsiding again, I replied, “It’s a little bit like what’s on TV and the movies. With my pattern paced breathing, I’m not doing the hee, hee, hoo kinda stuff. Just making sure to focus on my breathing.”
“Gotcha.” Furrowing his brows, he said, “Okay, what about your contractions? Like shouldn’t we be timing those.”
Wow. He was really attentive. “We probably should have, but we should focus on getting to the hospital at the moment.”
“Exactly.”
“Can you grab my suitcase out of the closet?”
“Yep.” After hesitating, he asked, “Are you okay for me to leave you?”
If I hadn’t been coming in and out of so much pain, I would’ve laughed at him being so compassionate. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
With a nod, he then whirled around and sprinted back to my room. He was back with my suitcase in hand in a matter of seconds. “Thanks.”
“Here let me help you up.”
Since I didn’t have the strength to get up myself, I allowed him to lift me. Once I was on my feet again, Jonathan darted back in his bedroom to grab his keys. Then we started down the hallway. Jonathan stayed by my side on the stairs. I guess he was afraid I would have another pain and end up in a heap at the bottom of the stairs.
He remained at my side as we made our way through the house to the garage. He even walked me around the side of my SUV. Once I was safely inside, he shut the door before opening up the back to throw my suitcase inside. He hustled somewhat comically around the back of the SUV before flinging himself into the front seat.
While he cranked up, I dug my phone out of my pocket and dialed my mom. I wasn’t too shocked when her voicemail picked up. “Shit,” I muttered as I hung up.
“No answer?”
“Nope,” I replied as my thumbs flew in a text.
“Hopefully you’ll hear back from her soon.”
With my mother, there was no guarantee. In fact, I really didn’t expect her to worry about returning a call. Why would she? It wasn’t like I could ever really rely on her.
After hitting the send button on the text, I pushed any thoughts of her out of my mind. Instead, I focused on calling my OB. After describing what was going on, unease gripped me at the nurse’s response.
When I hung up, Jonathan glanced over at me. “What did she say?”
“Um, she said she would let the doctor on call know, and we should go to the ER instead of the usual registration.”
“Why?”
“Because I could be in precipitous labor.”
“What the hell is that?”
“It means rapid labor. Most babies come within three hours of the first pains while some come much quicker.”
Jonathan cut his gaze from the road over to me. “Like you could have it in the car?”
“Well, not that soon. But pretty soon.”
“Fucking hell,” he muttered before slamming his foot down on the accelerator.
“Would you knock it off? It doesn’t matter how fast the labor is if we don’t get to the hospital alive.”
“No offense, but if it means the chance I might have to deliver your baby, I’ll take my chances.”
I smacked him on the arm. “Get a grip.”
“Fine.”
To my relief, the car began slowing down. When another pain gripped me a moment later, I wished for Jonathan to get the lead out. Normally, the hospital was a fifteen to twenty-minute ride from the Nelson’s. Through my haze of pain, I didn’t know if it took us more time or less. I was never so thankful to see the lighted ER sign in all my life.
After Jonathan got me safely inside, he ran back to park the car. By the time he returned, I’d been through the evaluation process and was about to be taken upstairs. Wheezing, he bent over at the waist to catch his breath. “Mom...says…no flights.”
I gasped in horror. “What? How will they get here?”
“Driving.”
“But Durham is seven hours from here. Not to mention the fact it might be snowing up there.”
Turning his head, he gave me an apologetic look. “Sorry, Pres. Don’t worry. Dad grew up there and knows all about how to drive in the snow.”
“Okay,” I murmured.
After he righted himself, he handed me my phone. “Your mom is coming.”
“Seriously?”
Grimacing, he jerked his chin at the phone. “Read your text.”
As the nurse started pushing my wheelchair towards the elevator, I looked at my mom’s text. But you weren’t due for three more weeks? Larry and I are in Memphis. We’ll leave in the morning.
“She’s in fucking Memphis?” I growled.
Jonathan glanced between me and the nurse. “Yeah, unfortunately so.”
“Could this possibly get any worse?”
My body took that as a challenge, and my abdomen contorted in another wrenching pain. Gripping my stomach, I dropped my head and tried to ride out the pain. I couldn’t speak, least of all breathe for almost a minute.
When I came back to myself, we were getting off the elevator onto the maternity floor. After wheeling me into a room, Jonathan helped me transfer from the wheelchair to the bed. But when he started to follow the nurse out, I stopped him. “Wait, where are you going?”
With a bewildered look, he asked, “You want me to stay?”
“I don’t have much of a choice since I don’t want to be alone.”
He motioned wildly to the area below my sheet. “But they’re about to start getting to the vagina stuff. I…I can’t be here for that.”
“I hardly think mine will be the first you’ve seen.”
Jonathan scowled at me. “Of course not.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
He swept his hands to his hips. “The problem? It’s like morally wrong. Like what we’ve been talking about in my history class with Henry VIII and the Bible.”
“What the hell are you babbling about?”
“We’ve been studying about how Henry married his brother’s widow, and then later he learned it was illegal in the Bible to marry your brother’s widow because it un
covered his nakedness.”
Before I could argue with him, another pain rocketed through me. Once I recovered, I narrowed my eyes at him. “Look, I don’t give two shits about Henry VIII worrying about his brother’s nakedness or whatever.”
“You might when you’re not in so much pain.”
“I’m going to make this as plain as I can. Although it pains me to say it, I need you to stay.”
“I can’t.”
“You have to.” I shook my head. “I can’t do this by myself.”
“But you have the nurses and doctors,” he protested.
“They don’t count.” When it still appeared he might bolt for the door, I decided it was time to break out the big guns. “If you want to think about Jake, then think about how he would want you to be here.”
Grimacing, he countered, “Way to play the dead brother card.”
“Sorry. But I’m desperate.”
He grinned. “Okay, fine. I’ll stay.”
“Good. First thing I need you to do is get the picture frame out of my suitcase.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s my focal point for delivery.”
“Your what?”
“The thing I can focus on to get my mind off the pain.”
“Gotcha.” After digging around in my suitcase, he produced the framed picture of Jake and me at prom. It wasn’t so much about a picture where we were dressed up and looking good. It was more about the fact Evie had been conceived that night.
After he had placed the picture frame on the TV armoire, he turned back to me. “Now what?”
“Come over here and hold my hand because things are about to get really crazy.”
“Fuck me.”
Chapter Eleven: Jonathan
Although I’d never really stopped to think about the day Presley would give birth, I sure as hell never pictured myself having a role, least of all a starring one. Yet here I was holding her hand, trying to speak words of encouragement, and most of all trying not to lose my shit.
In my mind, I’d envisioned driving her to the hospital, getting her into the hands of the medical professionals and then getting the hell out of there until Evie was born. Unfortunately for me, that was not what happened. Instead, I’d been forced to stand helplessly by as Presley screamed and cried from the pain.
I’d also been under the delusion we’d get to the hospital, and they’d give her drugs. Because of the rapid labor, she had to do it natural. After experiencing what I did, women deserve a hell of a lot more credit for what they go through in childbirth.
I don’t know how long after we’d been upstairs that a thirty-somethingish nurse named, Veronica, said, “You’re at ten and ready to push. The doctor is on her way in.”
While I was clueless about everything else, I did know shit was getting real when it came to do the pushing. I’d somehow held out the fantasy that Presley’s mom or my parents might make it to the hospital before she had to push, and then I could get the hell out of there. But I should’ve realized it was a fantasy. Mom and Dad weren’t going to make it until the morning, and who knows if Presley’s mom would get off her selfish ass and show up period.
I could merely nod as Presley said, “Okay. Thanks.”
After the nurse left, Presley stared up at me. “Once again, I’m sorry I guilt-tripped you into staying.”
Immediately I felt like shit that she’d even felt the need to apologize. “It’s nothing.”
With a roll of her eyes, she replied, “Yeah, right.”
“I mean it.”
“Jonathan, you’ve died of mortification a thousand times over the past couple of hours.”
I knew it was pointless to argue with her because I had been embarrassed with all the pokes and prods. I’d stared at the wall, the ceiling, anywhere to keep my eyes off of Presley’s nether region. It wasn’t easy considering everyone was focused on that area.
When the door opened, my heart did a flip-flop at the sight of Noah’s mom, Maggie. Presley gasped. “Dr. Sullivan? They told me Dr. Schwarzman was on call,” she said.
Maggie grinned. “He is. But I’d told the staff to let me know if you came in on one of my off nights.”
Sniffling, Presley replied, “Really?”
“Of course. There is nothing in this world that would stop me from bringing Jake Nelson’s baby into the world.” With a wink, she added, “Even when I have a four-month-old at home myself.”
As a relieved breath whooshed out of me, I said, “I’m really, really glad you’re here.”
“Noah and Maddie are on their way. Any idea when your parents might get here?”
I shook my head. “They couldn’t get a flight out until the morning, so they’re driving.”
Maggie’s eyes widened. “I hope the obey the speed limits and don’t get a ticket.”
Presley and I laughed. “You and me both,” I replied.
“And your mom?” Maggie asked.
“She’s in Memphis.”
Maggie gave Presley a reassuring pat. “No worries. She can just see the baby after she’s born.”
“Right,” Presley grumbled.
“Good. So, let’s get started.”
As Presley started pushing, I learned what bullshit movies and television were when it came to deliveries. They totally bullshitted you on what actually happened. With the first push, blood and God knows what else gushed out of Presley, causing my stomach to lurch. After I gagged, I was so sure I was going to puke I dropped Presley’s hand to grab the trashcan beside the bed. Although I stuck my head inside, nothing came up. With a defeated grunt, I jerked my head up.
When I did, I faced Presley’s extreme disgust. “Seriously?” she demanded.
“I’m sorry. I kinda have a weak stomach,” I admitted.
“Didn’t you watch the Miracle of Life video in health class?” Presley demanded.
I shook my head. “Missed it when we were out of the town for the championship game.”
With a roll of her eyes, she grumbled, “Figures it would be football.”
“Hey, don’t be knocking my sport just because I’m a weakling when it comes to blood and shit.”
Presley opened her mouth to argue with me when Maggie cut her off. “I can see the head.”
In that moment, I forgot about my no-vagina resolve, and I glanced in the mirror to see the baby’s head peeking out.
“Look at all that beautiful dark hair.” Maggie brought her gaze from the baby’s head to us. “Didn’t Jake have a lot of hair as a baby?”
Since I was only two when he was born, I relied on what I knew from the pictures of us at the time. “Yeah, he did. Like a ridiculous amount.”
Maggie smiled. “I thought I remembered he did from some of the photos I’d seen.”
Presley hiccupped a cry. “She’s already a little like Jake?”
“Looks like it,” I replied.
A contraction interrupted our moment, and it was time to push again. Although I’d resolved myself to try not to stare at Presley’s vagina, there was something about seeing the baby’s head that was…mesmerizing. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. But I did make sure to give attention to Presley to make sure she was doing okay.
Things progressed quickly. In that respect, it was like the movies and TV. The baby crowned, and we saw even more of her beautiful hair. Sure, it was full of birth gunk, but it was still beautiful.
“One more push, Presley, and your daughter will be here,” Maggie said.
Tears streaked down Presley’s cheeks. “I can’t. I’m too tired.”
“Come on. You can do it,” I urged.
She shook her head furiously from side to side. “No. I can’t. I’m exhausted. I couldn’t even squeeze your hand if I tried.”
I turned my gaze to Maggie. “Can’t you pull it out or something?”
She chuckled. “Sorry, Jonathan. That’s not how it works.”
Closing her eyes, Presley said, “I just want to sleep. Please just let me
sleep.”
“You can’t sleep. You have to push Evie out,” I replied.
“Come on, Presley. Just one more push,” Brenda encouraged.
“I can’t.Ican’t.Ican’t,” Presley sobbed.
Like in football, I knew it was down to the wire and time for a Hail Mary moment. I dropped Presley’s hand and took her by the shoulders. At the feel of my touch, she opened her eyes. “Presley Patterson, stop saying the word can’t. You are one of the strongest girls I know. If anyone can have this baby, it’s you.”
She stared wide-eyed at me. “You really think I’m strong?”
Nodding, I replied, “You’ve come so far in the last seven months. You’ve changed your life completely so you can be the best mom in the world. After all that hard work, you can’t stop now.”
She swiped the tears from her cheeks. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“Well, even though I said it so you would get your act together and pop out this kid, I really meant it.”
Presley giggled. As she stared into my eyes, a determined expression came over her face. “For Jake,” she murmured.
The sound of his name felt like a kick to the gut. Somehow, I managed to nod in agreement. “For Jake,” I croaked.
As Presley sucked in a breath to steady for a push, the world slowed to a crawl around me. I saw more than determination in her face. I saw strength. I knew in that moment that I’d never known a girl like Presley Patterson. Not once had she bitched and moaned about how this baby would derail her life. Not once had she complained that her mom was an absent asshole who didn’t give a shit. No, just like this birth, she was pushing through life with stubborn courage. For Evie. For Jake.
There was a flurry of activity surrounding us, but everything passed in slow motion as I watched her. Her exertion, and how with each breath, she focused even harder. God, how was she doing this?
I heard the words of Dr. Sullivan as she brought Evie into the world, and then the wail of Evie taking her first breath. I should have been disgusted by the blood and gunk surrounding Evie, but how could I be?
Because when Maggie held up Evie for Presley to see, the mere sight of a living, breathing extension of Jake sent me into gut-wrenching sobs. His voice echoed through my mind. I’m still here with you, Buddy. Give her all the love I can’t. He was charging me with a responsibility that should have freaked me out, but how could I deny him? How could I deny her? She was now my family. My responsibility.