by Linda Ellen
Jimmy came running for a hug and reached to relieve his daddy of his lunch box. Vic let him take it and then bent to scoop his youngest up into his arms as he moved forward. The boy began to chatter about his day and the excitement of the party.
Louise met Vic halfway up the long, narrow back yard. “You’re late. We had to start eating before the food got cold,” she stated without preamble as Vic leaned to give her a kiss hello.
“Sorry, had some last minute stuff happen…” he mumbled, but he could see in her eyes it wasn’t the time for explanations. She took his arm, urging him forward. “You want to go in and clean up a bit?” she hinted.
“If I go in the house, I might not make it back out,” he tried to joke, only her eyes sparked hazel fire and he knew what she was thinking. His uniform was stained and dirty from working on cars, changing oil, and pumping gas all day – while everyone else at the party was scrubbed and clean. But right then, he just didn’t care. All he wanted was some of that good smelling food and a place to put his feet up to rest.
The scent of grilled hamburgers wafted his way, making his mouth water and reminding him that lunch had been too many hours ago. His belly growled in response.
Alec came toward them then, hand outstretched and saving the day. “Hail the conquering hero! We’d about gave up on you, Chief. But we saved the best seat in the house…uh, I mean yard, just for you.”
Louise resumed her seat and the others welcomed Vic to his celebration as he lowered himself into the chair at the head of the table.
The rest of the evening went well. Laughter, good friends, and good food rejuvenated his tired spirit. It was great to laugh with the others as they each told a funny “Vic” story or shared something from the past and their friendship with the couple. Even Jack and Liz seemed to enjoy themselves and participated in the fun.
The only drawback was the slightly frosty vibes emanating from Louise whenever she met Vic’s gaze, or when she came to stand by him while the others raised their soda glasses in congratulations.
He knew that after everyone went home, he was more than likely in for an earful…
‡
CHAPTER 3
The Decision
Louise hugged Fleet and kissed little Alexa on the cheek before helping her friend into the passenger side of their car.
Carefully shutting the door, Louise fought back feelings of envy as she watched her friend cuddle the baby. Oh, how she missed the all-consuming preciousness of having an infant…that sweet clean ambrosia of baby powder and milk, and that indescribable innocent essence unique to newborns.
“Thanks again for coming,” she directed at both Fleet and Alec as he reached to turn the key and start the motor. Louise leaned down to make eye contact with Alec. “And thanks for grilling the hamburgers, they were great.”
“No problem-o,” he grinned back at her as he put the car in gear, then added with a wink, “Don’t be too hard on old Vic for being a little late, he’s plum tuckered out.”
Fleet laughed and gave him a soft smack on the arm. “Old Vic? Look at the pot callin’ the kettle black.”
“Yeah, but compared to him I’ve got a gravy job,” he answered, suddenly serious – which was a rarity for him. “Nine to five and home on weekends. I can leave the job at the job. Vic’s got a monkey on his back that never sleeps.”
The women each pressed their lips shut and exchanged glances. For Louise, his words caused a moment of concern, but she soon brushed it off as her friends’ car pulled away. She stood at the curb waving, one arm around little Jimmy’s shoulder, until the Alder’s car turned the corner.
“Can I have ’nother piece of cake, Mama?” the little boy asked, smiling sweetly up at her as he gave her hips a loving squeeze. “I’m still hungry.”
She lowered her gaze to meet his, hazel eyes just like hers, and lovingly smoothed his coal black hair, which had been cut short for the start of the school year. His first year of school…my baby will be a schoolboy in a matter of days. What’ll I do during the day with no kids underfoot? Trying to push away the melancholy thought, she answered, “No, it’s too late for more cake, honey. It’s time for bed.”
“Aww Mama,” he whined as they started up the sidewalk toward the front door. “Please?”
Louise stuck to her guns, shaking her head. “Not tonight. You can have a piece in the morning.”
They moved on into the living room and Jimmy took off like a shot through the house as Louise shut the door and locked the deadbolt. Glancing over, the dim light from the hallway allowed her to see that her oldest was already stretched out on the top bunk.
“Thomas Joseph, did you bathe?” she queried, crossing her arms over her chest as she thought about how much dirt and grease he and Vic dragged home each night.
A bit muffled, his tired voice answered, “I washed up. I’ll take a shower in the morning. Right now I’m beat.”
Her arms relaxed down to their sides as she considered his words. Well…it must have been some day if even Tommy is this tired… “Alright honey. Goodnight.”
“ ’Night,” came a slurred reply as he turned over toward the wall and made himself comfortable.
Louise walked on through the room, headed for the bathroom. The shower was running and as usual, Buddy and Jimmy were play fighting – this time jockeying for a place at the sink to brush their teeth.
“I was here first!”
“No you wasn’t, I was!”
“Boys, share,” Louise admonished. “Hurry up now and get to bed, we’re all tired.”
Stepping into the kitchen, she smiled in relief to see that Lilly had everything under control. The leftover food had been put away, and she was finishing up the dishes. During times like this, she was truly grateful that her mother did, indeed, live with them. Sharing the household duties was such a blessing.
“Thanks, Mama,” Louise murmured, walking a few steps to give her mother a hug. “It was a good party…in spite of a rough start…” she ventured. The older woman merely met her gaze, choosing to keep her opinions to herself. However, even with no words spoken aloud, Louise could still see the I-told-you-so look in her mother’s eyes, regarding Vic getting home later than he promised.
As the boys finished up, giggling and shoving one another, Louise stepped back around the corner. “All right, that’s enough. Buddy, now you be quiet as you get into bed, your brother is already trying to sleep.”
“Okay, Mama.”
“Jimmy, you get on into your room and get ready for bed. Grandma will be in soon to tuck you in,” she ordered the youngest. He scurried around the corner.
The shower was still running, steam building up in the bathroom in spite of the door being open. Louise stepped in leaving the door ajar a few inches for ventilation. She couldn’t see any movement behind the curtain and the thought crossed her mind that her husband was hiding, purposely trying to avoid having a confrontation. She knew he realized she was aggravated at him. Slowly moving up, she put out a hand and moved the curtain just enough to peer through the steam, her face set with a frown…
What she saw gave her heart a twinge. Her husband…her hard-working man…was standing with his back to the streaming hot water, allowing it to beat down on his neck and left shoulder. So much so that the skin was bright red from the heat. Thinking of her teenaged son already in bed and exhausted from his day at the station, for a crazy moment, she wondered if Vic had managed to fall sleep on his feet. His hair was plastered to his head, and his face wore a grimace. Then, slowly rotating his arm, she watched as he shifted to allow the water to beat down on the other shoulder.
After a few moments, as if he felt her gaze, his eyes opened and met hers as he blinked water from his lashes. Then his lips turned up in a tiny smile. “Sorry I was late gettin’ home…”
Louise smiled softly and shook her head. The remnants of her anger from earlier had fled the moment she had seen the extent of his exhaustion.
“That’s okay.” After a f
ew beats, she added, “Want me to wash your back?”
He let out a groan. “That’d be heaven.”
She closed that end of the curtain and reached up for the washcloth he had stashed over the curtain rod, taking a moment to make it good and soapy. Then opening the curtain again, she pushed it back a bit. “Come here…turn around,” she murmured over the sound of the water hitting the floor of the tub. He obligingly came forward, turning and bracing his hands on the shower wall, and letting out a soft moan as she began soaping and massaging his back and shoulders. When she was finished, she scrubbed his elbows and the backs of his arms free from ground-in grime.
Memories seeped in of the many times she had scrubbed his back during their early days. They were so much in love back then… With a soft sigh, she handed him the washcloth. Leaving the bathroom, she shut the door and slipped behind the curtain into their sleeping area.
Slowly removing her party dress and jewelry, she allowed her mind to wander over first one subject and then another. She wondered why she felt so restless of late. Was it because the boys, her babies, were getting so big? Both of them would be away from her in school soon and not with her and not under her protection every day. Thoughts of her friends having babies crossed her mind and for a moment, she wondered why she hadn’t gotten with child again after Jimmy – it wasn’t as if they had begun taking precautions again, because they hadn’t. She paused in contemplation, wondering if having another child would make her feel fulfilled. Then, for the first time in a long time, thoughts of the baby she had lost on the banks of the Ohio so many years ago crossed her mind. The memories of pain, loss, and the accompanying conflicting emotions, had been buried so deep, they seldom surfaced…
Placing her hands up to her cheeks, she stared at her reflection in the bureau mirror. Oh, what is my problem? Was it that she and Vic didn’t seem as close as they used to be? They had been so happy for so many years. It wasn’t that she didn’t love him or that she felt he didn’t love her…I know he does. It was just that they never had time to spend together anymore…like they were two boats floating down opposite sides of the Ohio, but in the same direction.
Louise heard the shower stop and several minutes later heard him brushing his teeth as she stood running her brush through her hair, allowing her mind continuing to flit from one subject to another.
Not long after, Vic slipped through the curtain. Putting down her brush, she gathered her things to ready herself for bed, before she turned, emotions warring within. Wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, he stood gazing across the bed at her, his expression carefully neutral, as if bracing himself for a tirade.
All day, she had been planning on having it out with him over a great many things, but now…all the wind seemed to have left her sails. She could see the fatigue lines around his eyes and the guarded air of his posture.
With a sigh, she averted her eyes and slipped out past the other side of the curtain, pausing for a moment to gaze back over her shoulder before making her way to the bathroom. He hadn’t moved, except to follow her movements with his eyes. After a moment, he shifted his focus onto the light blue sheets invitingly turned down.
When she joined him in their bed twenty minutes later, he was sound asleep.
For her, however, sleep was a long time coming.
*
At the station the next day, Vic stood at the large windows of the office. Feet braced apart and hands shoved deep in his trouser pockets, he gazed out across the drive at the pouring rain of a late summer storm. He had flipped the outer lights on, as the rain had made everything dark and gloomy. With a sigh, he silently admitted that for once he was glad for the rain, as it had slowed what would normally be a steady stream of customers.
Today, he was in no frame of mind to put on his “customer service” smile and go out in the sopping wet to attend to his patrons’ needs and wishes; although, his bright yellow slicker and rain hat hung ready on a peg next to the closed door. Inside his office, it was bright, warm, and dry. This day however…his mood more closely matched the outdoors.
It was Sunday, and Vic actually had been able to sleep in for two hours. When he awoke, the house was quiet and he knew the family had all gone to church. With a certain amount of shame, it pained him to realize that since he had started his own business, his family had almost stopped attending worship. Louise always said it was something they should do as a family and he knew she had tried to use that as leverage for him to go in late to the station, or not at all. Thus far, it hadn’t worked. However, he did miss going, as he always seemed to feel better after one of Doc’s rousing sermons, and glad he’d made the effort to attend.
Louise must have really worked hard to keep everyone quiet so I could keep on sleeping as she got ’em all ready to go… He knew she was a stickler for making sure each boy – even sixteen-year-old Tommy – was scrubbed clean and looking his best to go to God’s house on the Sabbath. That normally involved quite a bit of arguing between the youngest and fussing from Grandma.
The evening before, at the party, Doc had made casual mention of their continued absence, although he had phrased it teasingly that they were tired of his preaching. This had prompted his good friend John to offer his services as chauffeur. It was a blessing that they all were members of the same congregation. Momentarily, Vic wondered why it had taken them so long to offer. He assumed everyone had been waiting for him to find a reliable employee so that he would be free on Sundays to take his family to church. Alas, that had not happened, so his friends were stepping in to bridge the gap. The thought pricked his conscience.
His eyes on the traffic out in front on Shelbyville Road, which was a scant few cars at that point, he hazily registered that it was only 11:30 and the churches hadn’t let out yet. Since it was raining, he wagered most people wouldn’t go for their customary Sunday drives – and therefore wouldn’t stop in to fill up on their way out. I might not have many customers at all today if this rain keeps up…maybe after lunch, I’ll close on up and go home…
The only reason he had driven the thirty minutes in the rain to open the station at all – and he would remain a one-man operation all day – was that bills were due and he needed the extra cash Sunday would normally bring. However, if virtually no customers came in…what a wasted effort it would be. It had taken quite a bit of resolve to roll out of bed and put his uniform on that morning.
Ahh well, he sighed, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. The now familiar smells of engine oil, rubber tires, and hoses, filled his nostrils. The station had become his home away from home…but was that good or bad? For his family, it wasn’t turning out all good. His long-held dream of having his own business had proven to possess a dark side. It was good in many ways, no doubt. It just wasn’t everything he had always dreamed it would be. Almost as much…but not quite.
Things that his friends had said the evening before now came back to him. Alec and Earl had even joked about a few things the boys had done over the past year, and it had hurt that Vic hadn’t been there to witness them. His sons were growing up too quickly! Little Jimmy, the baby of the family, would be starting school in a matter of days. When had he changed from crying baby, to crawling tot, to curious toddler, on to bright and inquisitive child – now a school-aged boy? It seemed to have happened overnight. Vic keenly felt the regret that he was missing out on way too much.
He was so very proud of his sons – all three of them to be sure – but especially the two he had conceived with Louise. His namesake, whom they all called Buddy, was a handsome, bright boy who was already showing signs of being musically inclined, like his mother. Quiet and serious, he was studious and made good grades in school. Vic was sure he would prove to have a great many talents. He didn’t enjoy getting his hands dirty, however, and in that way the older was very different from the younger.
Little Jimmy already seemed quite enamored with everything about the station, although he hadn’t had many opportunities to visit. Usu
ally Saturdays would be a day when Louise and Fleet would venture out to the shopping center down the road, and Jimmy would beg to be allowed to stay with Daddy at the station while they shopped. The boy seemed a natural, and even at his young age, he could fetch tools and roll tires across the bays in surprisingly competent help. Company policy wouldn’t allow one so young to pump gas out at the islands, or Vic was sure the determined and precocious child would attempt that, as well. He did, however, go out and watch his older brother perform that task. They had even fashioned a long pole onto a squeegee with which he could wash a customer’s windows while his brother checked their oil and fluids. Many a customer had tossed the boy a nickel or dime tip, which thrilled him no end.
Vic’s thoughts meandered to his wife and his brow furrowed a bit. Louise’s indifference regarding the business had him worried. Since the station’s opening day, when his wife had stayed nearly the entire shift and helped to greet customers – and they had teased and flirted with one another – she had not been back out to stay any length of time. She had promised that on Saturdays, she would come to clean the restrooms and tidy up the office area, but those occasions had been few. It concerned him as he had assumed the station would be a family enterprise and that all of them would spend much time working side by side, being a family. It hadn’t turned out that way. Sure, he and Tommy spent long days there together – or at least this summer they had as soon as the teen was out of school. But Vic realized he almost felt separated from the rest of the family, being so far away at work.
Another sigh escaped Vic’s mouth and he unconsciously rubbed his thumb on the engraving of his father’s name etched into the cool surface of the lighter in his pocket, an action that somehow always gave him comfort. It was something he found himself doing, almost as if he could conjure up his father like a genie to give him some much-needed advice.
I gotta make some changes. I don’t want my life to just fly by, doing nothing but working. Pondering the dilemma, he knew that the long trip to and from home was part of the problem. He had toyed with the idea of moving closer, but had been afraid of rejection at the bank. Did he make enough money to qualify for a loan? Well…they loaned me the grand to get the station outfitted…