by Jennise K
I squirmed in his tight hold of me, but it was no use; Dominic was set on putting his plan into action.
“You know, there’s a great new restaurant downtown which just opened, just beside your favourite one. I heard it’s really good. Think you wanna grab some takeaway before heading to Prue’s?” Dominic spoke suddenly in an uncharacteristically loud manner as he moved us towards the large parlour. I almost bolted out of the room when I noticed a serious-looking Romanov seated in one of the large single sofas and Greyson seated on another, while a soft smiling Marsha continued to serve Romanov coffee.
A tiny pinch to my upper arm shocked me out of my panic, and I rubbed at the sore skin bitterly as I looked up at a blank-looking Dominic. My eyes narrowed in suspicion when I noticed a ghost of a smile on his lips.
“Yeah, why not? Prue’s going to London for three days, and I’m sure Jaydin will stop by. You should tag along,” I said and played along with his charade, even going so far as to fake a cheerful aloofness to my tone. My eyes widened when, from the corner of my eyes, I noticed Romanov stand.
Soon enough, we reached the men. Marsha stood behind Greyson, frozen, looking like she almost wanted to bolt me away from this place, and I almost wished she would.
There was a silence around the parlour, and I counted the seconds to Dominic’s lazy breathing. I didn’t understand how he could be so calm and collected in front of Romanov. Shrugging internally, I let it go. Maybe it was a royal thing.
Finally, the silence dropped, and Romanov spoke, his deep voice sharp and harsh, “Dominic, can I have a word, please.”
~
“What were you thinking, dear?”
In the shower, under the warm drizzles, I shrugged and continued to wash the soap away.
“I was thinking—actually—I’m still thinking about too many things I find hard to believe, Marsha,” I told her.
Wrapping a towel around me, I stepped out of the shower just in time to see the concerned look on Marsha’s face soften as she placed my bed clothes on the vanity.
“Get dressed. I’ll be outside,” she said softly, patting the tiny pile twice before moving out of the bathroom and closing the door behind her.
As the door clicked close, I let myself slump against the vanity. There seemed to be so much to wonder about, so much to start believing on supernatural things that I felt lost.
Months ago, I’d just been a normal girl who’d only recently lost her sister, gained custody of their three-month old baby, and just went to college. A normal girl who worried about the length of the assignment she had to submit, not large black beasts, half wolves and half humans; although some of my professors could be beastly with their strictness.
Today, standing here in a place where I’d known who my soulmate was and found that he was a—I shook my head. As I put on my crop tank top, white cotton shorts, and knickers, I tried to make sense of the situation called my life.
Minutes passed, but it felt like an eternity when I walked out of the bathroom. Marsha sat patiently on the bed, a hairbrush in her hand. Smiling and tearing up, I sunk myself near her feet and leaned against her legs. At once, Marsha began to brush my hair.
“It’s all right to cry, you know?” Martha cooed.
I nodded. The overwhelming tears kept slipping down my face, and I let it all out—the confusion I felt about everything; the hurt I felt for Mum, Dad, Lizzy; the warm feelings I felt for Romanov; and the fear I felt for the future.
“You know it would have been easier if you had watched The Vampire Diaries,” Marsha suddenly said.
Oh no…
My eyes widened, and I gasped. “Vampires also exist?”
Marsha paused for a minute before she replied, amusement clear in her voice, “Maybe.”
I groaned. No more, please. I cried harder.
The brush ran through the length of my hair, and I leaned into it, comforted by the strokes. “I don’t know what’s normal anymore, Marsha. I’m lost.”
“Oh, child.” Marsha ran her fingers through my bangs and brought them back to join the rest of my hair. “The normality in life can only be found when nothing is normal, and everything is but.”
Suddenly, there was a screech and a loud bam as the doors flew open in the large room. Both Marsha and I let out screeches of our own until Romanov stormed into the room.
Gone was his fair skin, and in place was a mass of dark grey fur that covered every part of his body. Standing on two hind legs, the beast looked nearly twice as Romanov’s size. His golden eyes burned bright as he stormed towards me angrily.
Bending low to reach me, he grabbed me by the arm and I froze, scared beyond belief. Behind me, Marsha yelped, and her hand found my shoulders, holding me firmly, not letting me go.
“Marsha, out. Please,” Romanov snapped curtly, his voice now gruffier than his usual human voice.
I didn’t know how it was so, but witnessing his beast talk made him feel more like Romanov to me.
A minute passed before Marsha’s grip loosened on my shoulder, and I watched as she slowly walked towards the door. When she was already near the door, Romanov spat out, “Close it.”
At this, Marsha turned around and sent me an apologetic smile before pulling the door to a close.
Click.
My eyes stared at the door that just let out my confidant in this trying time.
“Look at me, dammit!”
My eyes snapped to Romanov’s golden orbs, and he leaned in closer, his muzzle touching my nose. I noticed it wasn’t wet.
“I told you, you are mine,” he gritted out.
My eyes widened, but I didn’t reply, which only seemed to make him angrier.
I couldn’t help it, though. This beast was standing over me, his claws almost sinking into my vulnerable skin, which would be paper-thin compared to his, no doubt. How could anyone possibly talk in this situation?
“Speak!” he demanded.
And speak I did.
“Why can’t you just tell me what you mean when you say I’m yours instead of beating around the whole forest?”
A loud growl ripped from the black monster’s throat, and his golden eyes narrowed into a deadly stare. His grip tightened on my arm, and he pulled me up in a quick jolt that felt like I had just flown to meet him, my face smacking straight into his furry chest. He smelt like rain.
“Do you really want to know? Because you still smell just like Dominic!”
I narrowed my eyes at him, my jaw tightening. “What do you mean?” I hissed.
“You know exactly what I mean! Did he kiss—”
Irritated, I stomped my feet on the floorboard unconsciously.
I couldn’t talk to him this way. No matter how much I knew this was a part of him. I was still too scared to speak my mind or do what I suddenly really felt like doing.
“Change,” I told him.
Romanov froze. “What?”
I grasped handfuls of his fur, holding onto him. He needed to change. I needed to see that face of his!
“Change!” I snapped again. I was mad. Furious that he could even suggest such a thing. What does he take me for?
My patience ran thin when a minute later, he was still his in his beast form. I just lost it and completely snapped. “I said change!”
I almost gasped as the fur slowly disappeared between my fingers, and the scarred skin appeared in its place.
Romanov shrunk to his normal form, and his forehead now became visible, then his nose, his mouth, and his hair. Everything in his human form came back, except his eyes. It was then that I realized how often I’d already seen him like this—him in his human body but with his beast’s eyes. It was amazing how often Romanov stayed completely in tune with his beast.
“Scared of my beast, Olivia? My beast too ugly for—”
I broke him off, lurching forward faster than I could even think I was capable of. I took his face between my hands and smacked my lips on his.
Romanov froze. His hands found my w
rists but didn’t move them away. I held my breath, pressing my lips harder against Romanov’s. Moments passed, and we stayed that way, just lips pressed together, gradually before his hands moved and slipped around my waist. I gasped when he pulled me against him.
And then, he began kissing me.
Every nibble, every nip, every light lick sent sudden jolts of demands. I didn’t even know when my leg hit the edge of the bed and I fell back, now seated on it.
Romanov followed me down, nipping at my bottom lip as I let out a tiny sound, both my hands still holding his face.
It seemed like forever when I pulled back, gasping for air. Taking in deep breaths, my eyes found Romanov’s dark golden ones, and I shivered. He, on the other hand, continued to stare at me.
“Say it. Say what I mean to you. Just one word, Romanov. One word,” I whispered, a silent plea for him to validate it, validate us.
It didn’t bother me that werewolves existed. What bothered me was how little soulmates could mean to some people. After hearing Dominic’s story, I couldn’t believe even one slight misalignment of events could make such word amount to little significance.
Growing up, I had never thought life was peachy, that life was a walk in the park. But I did know every girl, while growing up—no matter how much of a realist, no matter how strong-willed—secretly hoped that one day she would meet a guy who’d fit the missing piece in her heart and maybe be her soulmate. Her happily ever after. And like them, I was just an ordinary girl, too.
Sitting there, in front of a quiet, calculating Romanov, I ran my gaze along his shoulder, the tip of the scar he’d gotten while saving me poking on his left, silver and thick.
Kneeling in front of me, he was completely exposed and vulnerable, but he still managed to make me feel like I was the one naked. To see him so calm like that after asking him a question that could alter my life, I grew a little panicked and more when he took his time.
Slowly, he leaned forward and touched our foreheads together, and for the first time, I felt him give in and weaken.
“I can’t. I can’t say it. Because if I do, she will unleash herself on you, and I can’t lose you. I can’t lose you, Olivia.”
Chapter 14
Time stood still. Romanov’s forehead pressed against mine, his hair falling in front of his face and tickling mine. I stared at his closed eyes as he stayed in the same position, kneeling in front of me.
My heart was palpitating, but my breathing had stopped. He cared. It was so clear he cared. But did he really believe in Lady Edika?
“You believe in her?” It was more a statement than a question. The whisper sounded foreign, but no one could mistake the alarm in it. I could barely recognize my voice.
Romanov’s eyes snapped open, and I gasped when I realized there was a halo of gold that surrounded his black orbs. How had I missed that before?
“Yes.”
I blinked. Romanov continued to watch me.
Suddenly, it dawned on me.
We stood unmoving. We would forever stand unmoving. Suddenly, everything he had done after saving me, his refusal to give me his name, his refusal to admit, his refusal to stay made sense.
We were soulmates, yes. But he was doing what Dominic’s soulmate had unintentionally done. He had been trying and was still trying to reject me.
“You saved me. You marked me. But you never stayed. You called me because you couldn’t keep yourself from knowing if I was okay, but you didn’t tell me who you were. You showed yourself because this mark draws us closer. But you pretended that you didn’t know me—this,” I said and touched his mark. Romanov’s dark eyes zeroed on my neck.
“I came here, and when you finally showed up, you tried to tell me. But did you really want to? It’s one step forward, two steps back. Always—” I couldn’t help but let out a broken chuckle, shaking my head. I turned my cheeks away when he cupped my face with his right hand. Sighing, I looked into his eyes.
“Tell me and be honest with me. We’re always going to be this way, aren’t we? Just like this. With no name, no label. Just standing in the dark. On thin ice.”
Romanov’s golden halo grew. He looked away and his palm fell away.
My stomach lurched. His silence supplied his answer better than his words ever could.
My vision blurred, and I looked away; I couldn’t bear looking at him anymore.
“But you’re never going to let me go, are you?” I asked, although a part of me already knew the answer.
Romanov’s fingers found my chin, and he turned me towards him. I blinked, and the tears slipped down. His golden orbs blazed.
“No,” he admitted.
“So that’s it then. No name, relationship, no—” my eyes turned blurrier, thinking about the future “—no marriage, no babies…”
Romanov’s eyes widened and burned brighter on babies, but I continued, my voice now a cold whisper.
“Just…just this cowardice.”
The room was silent. Even the breeze had stopped dancing in from the open balcony door. Suddenly, Romanov stood, and at once I closed my eyes and turned away, flashes of his hard torso burning itself into my memory.
The sound of his feet slowly walking away thumped around the room, and I let out a small sob when I heard the door open and close. The tears began streaming down as soon as I opened my eyes and dropped my face into both my hands.
What had my life come to?
When I had been in high school and Mum and Dad had died in that accident, I had known my life would never be the same. But the ray of hope had always shined through. Elizabeth, my older sister, had always been the first to tell me how Mum and Dad would never have wanted me to wallow, how they would be ashamed to see me wasting away. Elizabeth had always given me hope.
And when Elizabeth died, my plans for my future and little Letty gave me hope. Prue gave me hope. I had never been one to dream of white, colourful, or court weddings, let alone babies. But sitting here, suddenly realising that I may never experience those joys had me feeling the gut-wrenching pain of emptiness.
Suddenly, a door opened, and I looked up, shocked, when I realized Romanov had gone into the closet and not out. His eyes widened slightly at my crying state, but he continued to stride towards me, now wearing a pair of blue sweatpants.
He has his clothes in there too?
Reaching me, his arm slipped under my thighs and effortlessly picked me up. I couldn’t help but bury my face into his chest. The sobbing never stopped, though, and I held him closer. He was supposed to be my soulmate, my perfect half. The only half that could complete me. But he couldn’t.
He held me against him and stood there swaying and waited for me to calm down.
The sound of the room’s door clicking open made Romanov go rigid. I froze in his arms, my face still buried against his neck. I waited for him to speak.
“Thank you, Sophia. Olivia and I will have dinner out tonight. Please tell Rose who’s hiding outside to let all the help know not to open closed doors without knocking, and never to open closed doors when my m—Olivia and I are in the room.”
A slow second passed before the door slowly shut and Romanov’s hands around me tightened.
“I’m not an easy person to live with, Olivia. And I never come with instruction manuals. I am crazy and short-tempered. I am impulsive and disastrous. I am a selfish beast, Olivia, and possessive can’t even begin to describe me. This is how I am. This is who I am. This is how it’ll be. I will never let you go.”
I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. My tongue felt tied by an aluminium wire. My mouth was full of sand.
Still in his arms, Romanov moved us towards the open closet door. Moving inside, he placed me on a couch and quickly walked over to a section. I watched as he picked out a white sleeveless shirt and a long-sleeved blue sweater.
My tears had dried, and I watched, blotchy-faced, as he walked towards me with the blue sweater. He placed the sweater in my hand and put his tee on himself, before tak
ing out and putting on a black pair of sneakers next.
“Where are we going?” I mumbled lowly, still seated on the couch, now wearing his oversized blue sweater.
A small smile shadowed Romanov’s expression before he scooped me into his arms again.
“Taking you to McDonalds,” he replied casually, his lips brushing my forehead.
Immediately, I froze in his arms. “I don’t even have shoes on!”
Romanov shrugged. “And my back isn’t broken.”
Walking out of the room, he leaned into a wall and turned off all the lights, closing the closet door after. In the dark, Romanov began striding towards what I hoped was the room’s door. He turned and twisted the door open, a small dash of light filtering in.
I, however, paused, my eyes frozen on the silhouette of a woman who stood on the balcony, looking straight in.
Suddenly, Romanov’s grip on me tightened, and my eyes snapped towards his, then snapped back towards the balcony again.
A hiss of breath released itself from my lips.
There was nobody there.
Corridors were passed by and spiral after spiral of stairs were treaded upon. The living room came into view, and my eyes widened when Dominic and Grayson looked up, a set of cards in each of the their hands and a pile of candy beside each of them on their side of the table.
Grayson studied us for a second before he shrugged and threw his card on the table. Dominic, however, cocked an eyebrow up as he watched Romanov march towards the door with me in his arms. I glared at him when I noticed his hidden smirk.
Soon, the smirking face of Dominic disappeared, and I sighed as Romanov turned around the corner, towards the hallway leading to the main door.
“Thank you, Orik,” Romanov spoke out when a surprised-looking Orik who was standing near the door talking on the phone saw us and scrambled to quickly pull the door open.
Walking out of the castle during the darkening hours of the night wasn’t something I was comfortable with. Everything beautiful during the day turned out to be just as scary during the night.
I was still keen on exploring the stairs that led to the separate maids’ quarters in the right, or the alleys and pathways that led to places. During the day, that is.