“More like Winblows, if you ask me.”
Kevin sighed.
“Alright,” he whispered. “Since you’re up too, you can come with me.”
Boomer jumped around as Kevin gathered his keys and the pathetically old phone his father had given him after he’d learned that his son had lost his own in the lake. That part of the story he believed, and, in fact, it felt like it was all he had focused on when Kevin first tried to explain his otherworldly encounter.
The crappy knock-off smartphone brand was barely worth the name phone, let alone smart. But at least it would connect to the Internet. Well, most of the time, as the phone’s communication chip seemed to have a mind of its own.
Kevin and Boomer exited the bedroom in the middle of the night.
Shortly after Kevin had closed the door, the computer screen filled with static and a high-pitched distorted voice echoed.
“Hello, anybody there? Kevin? Are you there?”
1
No wonder Kevin couldn’t sleep, even if it was past 3 a.m. It was a full moon. For some reason that messed up his sleeping patterns. Almost every single time, he would just toss and turn during full moons. At least outside the air was fresh and walking around helped his mind focus on other things.
The moon was more significant than usual, orange and quite ominous looking. But it didn’t scare Kevin, he liked every and all celestial objects. His love for the stars had no bounds, and now that he had gone into galactic space once, he had to find a way to get there again. Granted, technically only his consciousness had traveled light-years to wherever Arcadia was, but it had felt like he had been there nonetheless and his memory of the adventure was still crisp and the most amazing thing that he had ever experienced.
Kevin grabbed a branch from the ground and threw it as far as he could. Boomer darted forward and caught it in midair, after making quite an impressive leap for a dog his size. He brought the branch back, his tail wagging on overdrive.
Kevin grabbed Boomer by the face and shook his head vigorously but playfully, while Boomer wiggled around. “That’s a good dog,” Kevin remarked, before throwing the stick a few more times.
Eventually, Kevin got bored with the activity before Boomer did.
From captain of a prototype warship to throwing a stick meters away. Life can be cruel.
Suddenly, Boomer started barking loudly at Kevin.
“What is it budd—” but an intense burning sensation in his pocket cut Kevin’s words short. He grabbed his phone, which was burning hot, and threw it to the ground. Smoke swirled from the device as the screen flickered madly while sparks flew.
“What the hell!” exclaimed Kevin as he shook his burnt hand madly.
Boomer growled and continued barking.
When the phone started levitating, Kevin knew something was amiss.
Is this happening? Or am I dreaming?
A red glow enveloped the smartphone, and the screen cracked like an eggshell.
“Anybody there?” a high-pitched voice resounded from the device.
“What? Hello?”
“Who’s Hello? Did I dial the wrong device? I’m looking for Kevin.”
Kevin slowly blinked twice. “I’m Kevin, who are you? And how are you communicating with me?”
“My name is of no importance at the moment. I’ve hacked your device via a subspace link, though I doubt you’ll understand the technology involved. We need your help, urgently.”
“Hacked? More like fried it. Who are ‘we’?”
“I’m an engineer with the Arcadian Confederate. Sorry about your device, its low quality and archaic design made it quite the challenge to access and modify in the first place. I apologize for the quality of the call, there’s some random weird feedback loop interference.”
That’s when Kevin realized that Boomer was still panicked and barking frantically at the flying phone. Kevin got to his knees and reached to hug his scared dog.
“Easy, Boomer, it’s not going to hurt us.”
It took a few more seconds for Boomer to calm down, but eventually, he stopped barking.
“Oh,” said the voice, “the interference seems to have lowered, that’s good. I could barely hear you.”
Boomer is not interference, you twat.
But Kevin knew that the person on the other end of the call couldn’t have known that.
“What’s going on? You said something about needing my help.”
“Yes. Princess Kalliopy has been kidnapped by the Kregan. She needs your help.”
“Who’s Princess Kalliopy?”
“The cute girl you sneezed on, does that ring a bell?”
Loser status now upgraded to interstellar fame. That’s just great!
“Yes, it does. Vividly, in fact. Just beam me out already and let’s go get the princess.”
“Yeah, that’s not going to happen. It’s already a minor miracle that I can send my voice from this far away into this pathetic excuse for a communication device.”
“How am I supposed to help you from here?”
“I’m working on that part. I’ve sent a probe your way through a wormhole. It should arrive not too far from your location in about twenty minutes. It contains a portable transporter that will beam you onto my ship. Hopefully, it will do that before it’s too late.”
“Why would it be too late?”
“I didn’t mention the fact that we’re on a tight timetable, did I? Sorry about that. The Kregan spy network has learned of your involvement in our war, and since you were instrumental in defeating them, they’ve sent someone to make sure you don’t help us again. Kinda.”
“What do you mean someone? Or ‘kinda’?”
“Mmmm…There’s no easy way to say this.”
“Say it anyway!”
“A highly trained operative, or assassin, we’re not exactly sure, might already be on Earth looking for you. Though our own intel isn’t clear at this point, they might want to kill you on sight, or they might just want to abduct you and learn everything they can about you.”
“Oh, that makes me feel so much better!”
“Really? It shouldn’t. Believe me, death is preferable to Kregan interrogation techniques if you ask me.”
Kevin’s heart beat like a racing freight train, and he took a long, deep breath with his eyes closed, trying not to let his rising anger explode at the person on the other end of the interstellar call.
“I wasn’t asking you. And that’s just great, thank you for putting me in danger once more.”
“Oh…you’re perfectly welcome then. If you enjoy danger, you’re not going to be disappointed by what comes next.”
Any and all other attempts for Kevin to remain calm failed shortly after that.
“I was being sarcastic!” shouted Kevin.
“Riiiiight. Never mind then. May I suggest you pick up your phone and start running?”
“Why?”
“Well, if my implementation of the Kregan life form detection sensors I built into your phone is anywhere near correct, I’d say you have five, maybe ten seconds, before the operative reaches your location.”
Kevin swallowed hard. When Boomer jumped around and started barking harder than ever before, it gave Kevin his cue. He grabbed the phone and shoved it into his pants pocket. When a red laser-looking blast flew between him and Boomer and obliterated a tree nearby, panic overcame Kevin and a hefty dose of adrenaline flooded his body.
Kevin ran the opposite direction from the now intensified blaster fire. “Come on boy, we gotta go.”
Boomer didn’t need the encouragement, as he darted in the same direction as Kevin.
“Hey, interstellar dumbass? I don’t think they want to extract anything from me,” he screamed. “Help me!”
“What’s a dumbass? Is that blaster fire I hear?”
“No, it’s a techno dance party! Of course, it’s blaster fire!”
“Oh, I see, you’re being sarcastic again. I’ll attribute that to your ele
vated vital signs and stress levels.”
And I’ll put my foot up your ass if I make it out of here alive.
“How long until the probe finds me?” said Kevin, panting from sprinting madly toward the forest in the hope of losing his alien attacker.
The next blaster impact incinerated a bush in front of Kevin’s path, and he had to adjust his heading to the left.
“Yeah, about that, it’s more along the lines of you finding it than the other way around. There’s a good chance it may land near your current position, though.”
“Ok, you listen to me—” but Kevin felt compelled to duck as blaster fire burned through some of his hair. He finally reached the forest and kept running, with Boomer close by his side. “You listen carefully, I don’t care what you have to do, but you’re going to get that probe here STAT, and you’re gonna find a way to help me lose that Kregan assassin while you’re at it.”
“There’s very little I can do with the hardware you’re carrying.”
I miss my old phone.
“I don’t care! Just do something, or I will die, and if I die, how do you expect me to rescue Killiopa?”
“Kalliopy.”
“Whatever!”
“Alright, alright. Give me a minute.”
More blasts grazed Kevin’s right shoulder, burning through his T-shirt and probably some skin as well, and then it blew a football-sized hole in a tree meters in front of him.
“I—don’t think—I have that kind of time,” he panted, darting between trees.
“Hang on…”
“Wish I could, but if you don’t do something soon, then I’m afraid—”
Before Kevin could finish his sentence, he saw copies of himself begin to pop up and run parallel to him; it took a while for his brain to process what was happening.
Woooow. . .Holo-decoy, that’s wicked.
“Did you just do that?”
“Well, you asked for help. Would you rather I deactivate the holograms?”
The blaster fire was growing wider, and it was clear that the Kregan wasn’t only firing toward the real Kevin but also on the decoys.
“Are you fracking kidding me? No! Keep the holograms on. Can you cast more of them?”
“I’m afraid there’s not enough memory on your device for that. My genius compression algorithm can only do so much.”
Kevin wanted to throw a smart-ass comeback at the alien regarding its overinflated sense of modesty, but he decided against it, seeing as he had just modded his nearly ten-year-old crappy smartphone via subspace to cast holographic projections.
“I wonder what you could have done with a full-blown iPhone.”
“What’s an iPhone?”
“Never mind, let’s just say I take back everything bad I ever said about my crapola 1Xe shit-brown edition.”
Kevin’s lungs were burning from the intense effort as his body filled with even more adrenaline. He had never run this fast for this long. Fortunately, Boomer was still by his side, probably also pushed by his own fear. Thankfully, the holographic distraction didn’t seem to affect the ever-loyal Beagle.
That’s when Kevin noticed his skin began to glow blue.
“What’s this blue crap all over me?”
“Electrokinetic-energy, I had to find a way to recharge the limited power source of your crapola.”
“Am I powering my own smartphone?”
“There’s nothing smart about this device. But, technically, your running does, yes.”
“What happens when I stop running?”
“I’d rather not say. Somehow I think you know the answer to that anyway.”
Perfect, just perfect.
“Meanwhile, can the decoys fire back?”
“Holographically, I doubt your pursuer will fall for it for more than a few seconds. It might also help him reveal the real you.”
That’s a chance Kevin was willing to take if he could put more distance between him and his hunter.
“Well, I’d even take half a second advantage at this point. Just have one of them cover behind me by returning fire. Hopefully, that will buy me some time.”
“Understood.”
And an advantage it did give Kevin as the blaster fire now sounded more distant with every new step he and Boomer took.
“We should have stayed in bed, right buddy?”
Boomer barked, and Kevin realized that this could give away his position.
“Shhh…sorry boy, let’s just keep running.”
Fortunately, Boomer didn’t answer. They exited the dense forest into a clearing when a metallic object fell from the heavens and crashed to the ground, creating a large crater about five hundred meters ahead of them.
“Tell me that is what I think it is?”
“The probe? Yes, it’s just landed.”
“You and I have different definitions of what actually constitutes a landing.”
“Well, let’s just say I had to boost the speed of the engines so that it arrived quickly.”
“I sure hope it didn’t get damaged in that landing,” said Kevin between gritted teeth.
“Hey, my stuff is well made.”
So is my foot, as you’ll, hopefully, soon learn.
“I’m almost there, then what?”
“I think you’re going to laugh.”
“Why don’t I like the sound of that?”
“In order to reach you faster, I had to burn more energy from the probe’s power cell, as a result, the transporter range may have been shortened, which means while you can transport anywhere within its new diminished range, you can’t quite make it to my ship just yet.”
“Are you fracking shit—” but Kevin ended the cuss word in his head. “I’m assuming you have a way to fix this?”
“Kinda, yeah.”
“How long is ‘kinda’ gonna take?”
“A couple of minutes, five at most.”
“There’s no way the Kregan will need that much time to reacquire me now that the probe landing gave away my position.”
“You’re correct about that. In fact, the Kregan will be upon you in about forty seconds.”
2
Kevin’s fear levels elevated at lightning speed. Now that his own body and life were in physical danger, he didn’t feel a similar thrill as when his consciousness had been transferred to the ASF Thalamos a week earlier.
“I can hear it coming behind me,” protested Kevin. “I’m nearly at the probe, what do I do when I reach it?”
“That depends,” answered the alien voice. “How good are you with weapons?”
“I don’t know, I never fired anything outside of a video game.”
“Well, then I guess you’re about to find out.”
“You can’t expect me to hold my ground with a trained killer for my first time?”
“I’m sure you’ll do great. The moment you’re at the probe, just touch it with your palm, it’s been programmed to recognize you. It will synthesize a weapon for you to use and I’ll provide you with a shield. It won’t last very long, though, so try and distract your attacker for a minute or two. Or make sure you’re not hit too many times.”
The sheer burning inside Kevin’s lungs from the long, continuous effort was beyond anything he had ever experienced. Strength was slowly leaving his muscles.
“You’re not running fast enough, what’s going on?”
“I’m getting tired, I’m not used to running for this long.”
“Let me see what I can do.”
Kevin saw a green energy bolt shoot from a dust cloud around where the probe crashed, and before he could do anything, let alone try to dodge it, the bolt hit him full force on the chest. At first, he thought he was shot, but instead of pain, he felt his energy levels rise up to a much higher level than he thought his body was capable of experiencing.
“Wow! Thanks for the power up.”
“Don’t thank me, yet, you’re gonna need the energy. The Kregan will catch up with you in fifteen secon
ds.”
“How will I know how to use the weapon?”
“The nanites inside my tech will form a neuronal bond with your brain. The weapon’s basically gonna obey your wishes and your thoughts are going to shape the weapon to your mental images. It’s a prototype, so hopefully it works. Actually, it only needs to for about a minute or two.”
“Make sure it’s not more than that. And make sure to beam out my dog with me.”
“What’s a dog?”
“The smaller life form that’s running next to me.”
“Oh, alright, I’ll reprogram the probe accordingly.”
Kevin was a mere five meters away from the crater, and he skidded on the grass, like riding a skateboard, the rest of the way before gravity unceremoniously planted him next to the probe, face first in the mud.
He turned around and spat dirt as he saw blaster fire streak past him again.
He looked around trying to locate the probe as Boomer caught up to him, barking sharply. Kevin found the sphere under a mound of mud and quickly pawed through the debris so he could touch it. A small white light sphere grew from the side of the probe, and the metal that had been there vanished, revealing a small compartment with a metallic cylinder inside.
“What the hell is this? How am I supposed to defend myself with this?”
“Grab the cylinder.”
Kevin felt like arguing, but when a red bolt blasted a column of mud upward like a geyser less than a meter away from him, he knew time was of the essence.
The moment he grabbed the cylinder, he felt a tingle and something strange happened inside his body. A persistent humming sounded as a green shield enveloped him like form-fitting armor. The cylinder in his hand morphed into the coolest blaster he had ever seen, with pulsating cyan lights on each side of the weapon.
When Kevin asked himself where the trigger was, one morphed into place.
“Is this thing really reading my mind?” he asked.
“It’s an oversimplification of the tech, but basically, yes.”
Now I don’t know if I’m hoping this is a nightmare or if it’s real, but damn, it’s just too cool!
A creature, the Kregan Kevin assumed, growled from the top of the crater. Kevin aimed the weapon at the crater wall and shot through the dirt. It created a smaller cavity.
Across the Galactic Pond - Box Set: The Complete FAR BEYOND Space Opera Series Page 5