by Amy Brent
Because he doesn’t want you. The insidious whisper had dread seeping through me, the same dread that I’d been carrying around with me since yesterday in the garden. He does. Just, maybe not as much as I want him.
Is that any better? I tried to shake off the thoughts, narrowing my focus instead on the woman currently standing on the tips of her toes as she filed a book on the top shelf, her expression serious and somewhat distant as she worked.
“Lily!”
She jumped as I called her name, dropping the book she'd just picked up in the process and sent me a narrow-eyed look.
“Damn it, Quinn! You’re going to give me a heart attack!”
“You know I would never do that.” I gave her my best innocent grin, “Not intentionally, anyway.”
“You are a beast.” Lily gave me another scornful look but it barely lasted a few seconds before slipping into a grin of her own. “What are you even doing here? You hate the library.”
“I don’t hate it,” I defended, “I just never really had the time for books, you know?”
“Says the college drop out.” I know Lily was joking but her words still cut deep and she must have picked up on some of my turmoil because her smile faded and she wrapped an arm around me in a quick hug. “I’m so sorry Quinn. I shouldn’t have said that.”
I shrugged, “It’s the truth. It just-.”
“Still hurts,” Lily said, finishing my sentence and all I could do was nod, “I get it.” My best friend forced a bright smile, “But hey, you’re doing something about it, right? With the property. Making it into your own business. That’s your dream. It always has been.”
"Yeah, I am." My voice was hard with resolve. I would make it work, no matter what it took, no matter how many long days and even longer nights I was scrubbing and scraping on my knees. I had no choice.
“Then what’s got you looking like that?” Lily asked after a moment and I glance over at her curiously.
“Like what?”
“Heartbroken.”
“Please,” I snorted, “Don’t be ridiculous.” But Lily was closer to the truth than she could have possibly realized. “Look, I did want to talk to you about something. Is there somewhere quiet we could go?”
“Quinn, we’re in a library. The whole place is quiet.”
“You know what I mean.” I rolled my eyes at her and she sent me another grin.
“Yeah, I do. Come on. We can talk in the break room.”
I followed Lily as she made her way back to the front of the small library and then through a door behind the clerk desk. I paused as I walked inside, taking in the myriad of plants hanging from macrame rope and multi-hued crystals scattered on nearly every surface. Lily took a seat at the small table, and I had to move aside a bowl full of the brightly colored rocks as I sat down across from her.
Lily leaned forward, perching her elbows on the edge of the table, “So, what did you want to chat about? Leo? Trouble in paradise?”
I rolled my eyes, ready with a sarcastic comment but I bit it back. She was right. Again. And it hurt. Again.
“I don’t know what happened, Lily,” I started, the memory of Leo’s expression rising in my mind, “One moment, everything was perfect, and then the next he was staring at me like a stranger.”
"Well, something must have happened," Lily said after a moment.
“I just, I asked him what we were, you know,” I explained with a shrug, “What we were doing. And then he got all weird. He froze and mumbled something and then ran off.”
Lily shot me a look full of commiseration as she got to her feet. She didn’t speak again until she’d brewed a kettle of hot water and made us both a cup of soothing peppermint tea. Only after she’d retaken her seat did she open her mouth to say anything.
“You scared him.”
“What?” I looked at Lily askance.
“You scared him off, Quinn. You know he’s not the type that does relationships, and honestly…”
“Honestly, what?” I prompted after she’d been quiet too long.
“Honestly, I hadn’t expected him to stick around as long as he has,” Lily gave me another sympathetic look, “I know that’s not what you want to hear.”
Damn right it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. What made it even worse was that I knew it was the truth.
“But it doesn’t matter, does it?” Lily was saying, “You’re falling for him.”
I couldn’t speak but she could see the answer written plainly all over my face. I wasn’t falling. I had already fallen. Hard.
“Then you know what?” She said, speaking as if she’d somehow heard my answer, “Then you need to fight for him. For you and your happiness. You deserve to be happy, Quinn.”
“I know, it’s just–.”
“You’re scared too.” Lily snorted, “You really do belong together. Two commitment-phobes that can’t keep their hands off each other. Here. I’ve got something that will help.”
“Dear god, not another one of your potions.” I groaned. I could still taste the last one.
“No, not a potion.” Lily got up, rummaging through the small side table piled high with books and papers and crystals, finally grabbing something and bringing it back. She held out her hand and I looked at it dubiously.
"It won't bite," Lily said on a chuckle after a moment.
“What is it?” I asked, still glancing at the rock resting on her palm.
“It’s an agate. It’s for strength and courage. Here.” She reached forward, dropping it into my hand before I could tell her that I really didn’t think a piece of reddish rock was going to help me all that much, but the hopeful look on her face stopped me. With a sigh I took the thing, looping the leather cord it was tied to around my neck.
“There, happy?”
Lily nodded, smiling at me from across the table. “So, what are you going to do next?”
"I'm going to go home and take a shower," I said, grimacing as I inhaled too deeply. I'd come here straight from working at the Mayhew house.
“And then?”
I drew in another deep breath, this time not even noticing the smell. Then, I’m going to go talk to the one person that can make me feel better. I just hope it doesn’t end up breaking my heart.
***
Leo
The game was playing on the small TV I had propped up on a cart against the wall but I wasn’t watching it. I was staring off into space, my thoughts revolving around the only thing I seemed to be able to focus on lately. Quinn.
Her questions still echoed in my head but damned if I had the answers. Damned if I even knew if I wanted them. I took another sip from the bottle of beer I had clenched in one hand. It was my day off. Every other day off I'd gotten over the past couple of months had been spent sweating over at that property. But I wasn't sure if Quinn would even want to see me. Not after what had happened.
Before I could delve any deeper into why that thought made me feel like absolute shit, there was a timid knock at the door of my apartment. I cocked my head to the side. Who the hell could that be?
I knew it wasn’t Stella. She’d just holler up from the bar if she needed anything. It wasn’t Jonah. Timid wasn’t exactly the man’s style.
The sound came again, and I shrugged. There was only one way to find out. I pulled the door open and froze as shock washed over me. The last person I expected to see was Quinn, standing in front of my apartment staring up at me with those big, green eyes of hers like summer grass and suddenly everything felt right in the world.
“Hey, sunshine,” I finally managed, stepping back and gesturing for her to enter, “I’m surprised to see you so late.”
“I’ve seen you later than this,” She shot me a sassy smile along with the words over her shoulder and the reminder hit me square in the solar plexus. But beneath that smile, I could see something else swimming in her eyes. Doubt. And what cut me even worse was the hurt. I hated knowing I’d done that to her. But dam
ned if I knew how to fix it. I didn’t even know what to say.
Quinn stopped, growing serious as she turned to face me. She took a deep breath and I braced for the worst. I was sure she was about to say we were done. Look at me, I snorted to myself, it's always me breaking things off, and here I am shaking like a leaf at the thought of Quinn, what, dumping me? Is that even the right term? Don't you have to be dating before you can break up?
“I just wanted to tell you,” She started. Oh shit. Here it comes, “I just wanted to tell you that it’s okay.”
Fuck. I knew she was going to…wait a minute, what?
“What did you say?” I asked, struggling to keep up. Quinn shrugged and shot me a small smile.
“I said it’s okay. It wasn’t fair, surprising you like that with, well, with those sorts of questions. I get it, alright? I know you’re not the type to stick around.”
“Hey now, wait a damned minute,” I said, interrupting, still trying to wrap my head around what she was saying. And why was I so pissed about it? It was just the truth. A truth I’d told her from the first. But why did it eat away at me, hearing her say it out loud like that?
“Look, it’s alright, Leo.” Quinn was saying, “I don’t need an answer.”
"But you deserve one." I shot out, surprising us both and Quinn quieted, staring at me wide-eyed, "I've never really…I've never been in a real relationship, Quinn." I shook my head, trying to explain. "It just…You scared the shit out of me, to be honest."
I don’t know who was more shocked by the admission, me or Quinn but after a moment she took a step towards me, and then another, not stopping until we were standing toe to toe and she looped her arms around my neck.
"That's okay too. But I need you to know something," Quinn whispered the fragile words softly in the room as if she was afraid to say them too loud, afraid that they might shatter. "I'm starting to care about you, Leo. I can't…If you want to stop things between us, just tell me now, okay? I don't want to get my heart broken."
I stared down at her for a long moment, drinking in the sight of her. So beautiful, so soft and at the same time so strong. Her spirit shone through from the depths of her clover green eyes and I knew I owed it her to be as strong if I could.
“I don’t, Quinn,” My words were spoken just as quietly as hers, “I don’t want things to end. This is all…new for me. Can you be patient?”
A grin so bright it made my chest ache broke across her face like a sunrise, “Yeah. I think I can do that.” And then she was kissing me. I was still reeling from her words, and my own, and her kiss just tilted the world even further off its axis until I felt dizzy.
My fingers speared into her hair, pulling her closer, angling my head so I could deepen the kiss as I walked us back towards my bedroom.
“We are making it to the bed this time,” I growled the words, and was rewarded with Quinn’s husky laughter.
"Want to bet?" She shot back along with a sinful grin that had me fighting back a groan. What was it about this woman that drove me absolutely insane? Before I even had a clue what she was doing, her fingers were at the waistband of my jeans. She made quick work of the zipper and tugged the fabric down, kneeling in front of me as she went.
My boxers were next and before I could catch my breath her sweet mouth was wrapped around the head of my penis, sucking me deep into the warm cavern as her tongue swirled in patterns against my sensitive skin.
“Holy fuck, sunshine,” I gasped, reaching out a hand to the nearest wall for support as my knees went weak. Her mouth was a fucking miracle as she swallowed me all the way down. My eyes rolled back and it was all I could do to hold on. I could feel my balls tighten in anticipation but damned if I wanted to come yet, before I’d even got a chance to touch her, to feel the sweet give of her body as I sank deep inside her.
My body twitched at the mental image and I was about ten seconds from shooting my cum down her throat but somehow I found the strength to pull back, stopping her with a hand on her shoulder.
I stripped off the rest of my clothes, not caring where they fell as I threw them behind me and Quinn’s clothes followed to land in a haphazard pile. I spread her thighs, my breath hitching as I stared at her, wet and open and ready for me. I could see how slick she was from there. And it was all too easy for me to imagine how it would feel to slide deep into that welcoming cavern. And I knew she would take all of me. A perfect fit.
“Shit. We’re not going to make it to the bed.”
Quinn let out a soft giggle at my words but it was cut off abruptly as I slid my cock inside her quivering pussy. The feel of her had me squeezing my eyes shut against the wave of pleasure. She just made me crazy. Made me insane with desire. Like a teenager who couldn't last more than two seconds. But damned if I didn't want to see her writhing beneath me as she came with me buried deep inside her, my cum soaking every inch of her.
I took her. Slow and steady at first but growing faster as the tidal wave of need spurred me on. Those little sounds of pleasure she was making were driving me crazy but I kept moving, driving us both higher with every thrust until I was covered in sweat and aching to empty my balls inside her.
She was like a tight, hot grip and every time I rammed home to the hilt I didn’t want to leave. I never wanted it to end. I wanted this feeling to last forever. I leaned down, our mouths joining together just like our bodies were and there was a tightness in my chest as I felt her surround me. She was inside me, and I was terrified that I’d never get her out again.
Would that be such a bad thing? The thought echoed from the far reaches of my mind but all I could focus on was the exquisite feeling of sinking deep inside her body, over and over again. It was heaven and hell wrapped up all into one.
It took everything inside me to hold back the orgasm that threatened every time I thrust all the way to the hilt in her hot pussy. I was drenched in her, and damned if I didn’t love it.
I swept one hand down her body, my thumb finding her clit, slipping on her honey as I swept over it and it was like a detonation. Quinn threw her head back, a low moan falling from her lips as she exploded, her body clamped down on mine. It was the most gorgeous sight I’d ever seen, and it sent me tumbling over the edge with her.
It started in my toes, drawing through every nerve ending and blood vessel until it finally erupted and my world went white as I filled her. I don’t know how long afterward I stayed like that, my arms wrapped around her, my heart beat pounding in my chest and my thoughts drifting and listless but always coming back to her, back to Quinn.
I swept a stray blond lock of hair away from her cheek and she snuggled closer to me, her breath already deepening with sleep. Maybe, just maybe, it was time to start changing my old ways. Maybe it was time to start thinking about a new life. A life with Quinn in it as a permanent fixture.
With the unfamiliar emotions choking me, I picked Quinn up in my arms and finally took us both to bed.
Chapter 20
Leo
“Hey, Leo! Are you up here?”
“Yeah! I’m over here!” I yelled back, trying to maintain my precarious position. I heard footsteps make their way up the creaky staircase and then a gasping laugh. I shot a glare in her general direction to find Quinn with a hand covering her mouth and mirth glowing from her green eyes.
"What the hell are you laughing at?" I asked a grin of my own breaking through to soften my words. I knew damned well what she was laughing at. This attic hadn't been touched in decades and about as much dust covered me, and the rest of the steepled roof room.
“Are you sure that’s really you under there? It’s not some monster that’s been hiding up here for the past twenty years.” Quinn asked as she crept carefully forward and there was still a chuckle in her voice.
“I’m pretty sure.” I glanced down, trying to wipe off some of the dust and grime and only ended up with a cloud of it in the stuffy air around me, “Can’t be too certain though, to be hon
est.”
She stopped in front of me, a sudden warmth adding to the humor in her gaze and it had my body reacting instantly.
“Well, there’s one way I can think of to tell.”
“Oh yeah? And what would that be?”
She didn't answer, instead, she leaned forward, careful not to brush the dust of on herself as she laid her lips sweetly against mine. I fought the urge to pull her close and deepen the kiss, letting her meander before she finally pulled away. It was little more than a peck but still, I was breathless with wanting her. Even after the last few weeks, the edge of my desire never dulled. If anything, it had only sharpened since that night she'd shone up on my doorstep and told me in no uncertain terms not to break her heart.
Things had been strange at first. It was the first time in my entire life that I’d ever tried actually dating someone, rather than just screwing them and moving on. But something about Quinn kept me begging for more, and no matter how much I had I was always hungry for another taste of her.
We had spent more and more time together, learning about each other, even most of our time was spent working on the Mayhew house or tearing each other’s clothes off. We still had to dodge Jonah’s suspicions and a thought had started to creep into my mind over the last few days. We’d had more than a few close calls. Jonah was prone to just walking into the house unannounced and there’s been one instance in particular that still made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.