by Vikki Vaught
He inhaled to brace for her fury. “There’s no easy way to say this. We can no longer spend time together. I took a bride while—”
A torrent of expletives poured from her mouth. Words he never expected to come from a lady. “You bloody bastard. What do you mean? I thought we would wed, now that your mourning period is over.”
I never mentioned marriage,” he countered. “I know this is unexpected. I’m sorry, I need a mother for my daughters and someone to give me an heir.”
“I could have given you a son,” she cried. “Why didn’t you say anything before you went to London?” Her face turned red as she screamed, “You had this planned, did you not?”
“I do not want to be cruel,” he retorted, “but you were wed for years before your husband died, and you never bore him a child. We’ve made love several times a week for three years, and you never conceived. I could not take a chance that you were barren. I must have an heir.”
Cecilia’s expression turned demonic. “You toyed with my affection and played me false. I should have realized something was wrong when you went to London. You never go there. I’ve waited patiently for years, thinking you would marry me. Now you do this…I…I hate you!”
In an effort to gain control, he kept his tone even. “Again, I’m sorry, but I never led you to believe we would wed. We’ve had many wonderful times over the last three years, and I’ll always remember them with fondness, but I had to do what was best for me and my heritage.”
“I’ll never forgive you for this,” she swore. “I will make you pay for treating me this way.”
Devil take it, she’s taking this even worse than I expected.
“I understand you’re upset, and this has come as a shock. When you calm down, you’ll see my reasoning. Since we shall see each other socially, I would appreciate your continued discretion.” He reached inside his pocket and withdrew a wrapped box. “I remembered you love jewelry, so here is something in remembrance of our time together.” She grabbed the gift and clutched it to her breast as tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. “There’s nothing more to say, so I shall take my leave.”
As he turned to go, Cecilia grabbed a vase and threw it, hitting him on his shoulder. It crashed to the wooden floor, splintering into a million pieces. She stepped in front of him, and before he could react, she slapped him so hard across the face, his neck almost cracked. As she raised her hand to strike him again, he clasped her wrists. She screamed profanities as she struggled to break free.
“This is enough!” he growled. “I’m letting you go, but so help me God if you hit me again, I’ll take whatever means necessary to control you.” She stopped struggling and hung her head. He released her and stepped away. “I’m sorry I’ve caused you pain.”
As he turned to leave, she warned, “You’ll be sorry you did this to me. I hope your wife is barren.” Matthew shook his head as he strode out of her house.
On the ride home, he thought about what Cecilia had said, and he’d never given her any reason to expect marriage. He’d made it clear, on more than one occasion, their liaison was only physical.
What a mess.
He’d always known she was unpredictable; her behavior today bordered on insanity. Surely, she would keep their affair a secret, though. After all she benefited as well, especially if she wanted to remain in society. Helen would see Cecilia at local parties, so he prayed she would remain discreet.
At least he had ended it, and now he could start winning Helen’s trust. If his wife ever learned he’d had a mistress, she would not understand. He’d never want to cause her pain. He should have broken it off with her before he ever went to London. Why had he not considered how this would affect any woman he’d married?
Dammit, I can be so thoughtless sometimes.
As he traveled to his estate, he continued castigating himself for his poor judgement. First for having an affair with a woman clearly unstable, and then for forgetting to end it before he left for London. That was not well done of him. It showed a lack of respect for women, and his mother had taught him better than that. She would be ashamed of his reprehensible behavior. All he could do going forward was to learn from his mistakes and pray she never found out.
After meandering around his estate for a couple of hours, his thoughts turned to his wife. He’d been without a woman for almost three months, and he could not remember a time since his salad days, that he’d gone so long without female companionship. His desire for her grew stronger each day, and he’d fought temptation since meeting her.
A passionate woman resided under her cool, reserved demeanor. With all that glorious red-gold hair and those brilliant blue eyes, she had to be. He would concentrate on becoming Helen’s friend, and once they knew each other better, he would convince her to let him into her bed. He still did not regret giving her time to adjust, but he certainly hoped it would not be much longer.
CHAPTER 9
Mid July 1820
The next week went by quickly for Helen. She engaged the services of a governess for the girls. Since they were five years old, it was time they began learning their numbers and how to read. Miss Wilson struck her as kind, yet assertive, so the twins should not be able to slip much by her.
Helen hired four additional maids and two footmen. The maids and footmen were sons and daughters of some of the earl’s tenants, so they had started right away. The housekeeper she’d found would arrive on Monday. She organized the maids and had them do a deep cleaning of all the rooms. Wells and the footmen did the heavier work and polished all the silver.
She did not see much of her husband, because he was always busy with the estate. His steward, Mr. Wilcox, seemed to be in his study most of the day going over the books. Every night she was so exhausted, she was too tired to talk and went to bed early.
Matthew approached her the next day as she left the breakfast room. “You’ve been working entirely too hard. I want to do more than dine together this evening.”
“I would like that. I look forward to it,” she replied.
“Very good. I’m on my way to meet Wilcox, but I shall see you tonight, and we can have a nice, long chat.” Helen watched as the earl walked down the hall to his study. She’d stayed so busy this past week she’d neglected the man.
She really must stop thinking of him as the earl. He was her husband, and he was making earnest overtures of friendship. She needed to reciprocate in kind, and thinking of him as the earl would keep him at a distance. That was not what she wanted. When she entered into this marriage, she’d wanted companionship. It was time to relax and meet him halfway. From now on, she would only think of him as her husband. With a lighter step, she tripped up the stairs.
She spent the rest of her day looking forward to that evening. While she did not want love, she did want a convivial friendship with him. Perhaps, she could drop her guard a little bit without losing her head.
When Matthew entered the drawing room that evening, he raised her hand and kissed her palm. A shot of energy raced up her arm. His brazen overture surprised her. It was the first time she’d felt any passion from him. He’d only kissed her a few times since their wedding day, and that was in gratitude for agreeing to help him.
When they entered the dining room, Helen noticed he’d had her place set to the right of his, instead of at the foot of the table. As he helped her into her seat, he smiled. “You look lovely tonight, my dear. Did you have a pleasant day?”
She picked up her napkin and placed it on her lap. “I accomplished quite a bit today. Oh, by the way, Mrs. Smith, the new housekeeper, will arrive tomorrow. I wanted the house cleaned thoroughly before she arrives, which we finished yesterday. It’s been exhausting, but well worth the effort. Everything looks so much nicer; do you not agree?”
The footman poured the wine and stepped away, giving them privacy. “You’ve accomplished so much in such a short time. I worry you’re doing too much. I would not want you to fall ill, but I greatly appreciate what you’v
e done for the household, though.”
“It’s what I’ve been trained to do,” she informed him. “I actually enjoy it. I can’t wait to get started on the decorating.”
“Good, just don’t take on too much.” Matthew sat his empty goblet on the table. “I visited the twins this afternoon, and they seem to be adjusting well to Miss Wilson and are much better behaved already.”
She laid her spoon by her bowl, letting the footman know she was finished. He quickly removed it and returned to his post. “I’m very pleased with the governess. The girls listen to her much better than I expected.”
He reached over and caressed her hand. Her pulse jumped. “We’ve both been so busy over the past ten days we’ve neglected our decision to become better acquainted. Would you like to go riding in the morning? We enjoyed our rides in London, did we not?”
Inordinately pleased by his suggestion, she smiled. “I would love to go. The sea is so beautiful. I remember you telling me how much you enjoyed riding along the shore. May we go there?”
“Of course,” he replied. “It would be my pleasure.”
Excitement rushed through her, and she straightened. “I would also like to see your estate.”
His green eyes sparkled. “Certainly. How does nine o’clock sound? We shall start our ride on the beach. Afterwards, I’ll take you around to meet some of the tenants.”
“I would enjoy that,” she told him. “I visited the tenants at Sanderford Park regularly and knew all of them by name. If you approve, I would like to do the same here.”
“Excellent.” He gave the nod to the footman. “I look forward to showing you the estate tomorrow.”
The servant served the main entree, and left them alone. When Helen tasted the fish course, the rich flavor of butter and herbs assailed her senses. The quality of food Cook prepared had improved a great deal.
Matthew also took a bite of his trout, and his eyes widened. “I don’t know what miracle you performed, but this dinner is far superior to any I’ve had in this house in years. Thank you.”
His attention returned to the food, and they ate in companionable silence for several minutes.
He wiped his mouth with his napkin and laid it beside his plate. “Have you heard from your family yet?”
“Kathryn and Melody sent letters,” she replied. “My sister has returned to London with Lady Helton and is enmeshed in her classes at the Institute.”
He leaned forward. “When you showed me the painting she did of the duke and his wife, I was very impressed. We’ll have her do our portrait.”
The footman returned and removed their plates, then sat the strawberry torte Cook had made for dessert in front of them and stepped away. She would let Wells know how well the young man handled his new duties.
Once they were alone again, she continued their conversation. “We’re very close to all my family. This is the first time I’ve been this far away. Of course, I’m sure anyone I married would have lived away, so I’m adjusting.”
“What did Melody have to say?” he asked.
“Magnus rolled over, and my brother has gone to London to attend Parliament. There’s such an uproar over the King’s petition for a divorce. He’s working with other members of the Whig party to circumvent it. They’re opposed to this entire Pains and Penalties Bill.”
“Your brother mentioned something over port, the night before our wedding.” He sounded intrigued by the information. Perhaps he would want to get involved.
She sighed. “It’s embarrassing for the nation to have the king’s dirty laundry aired in front of the world. Henry believes it will become very nasty before it’s over. When do you plan to take your seat in the Lords?”
“Perhaps in the spring,” he replied. “I needed to turn the estate around first. I had to hire a new steward after my father died when I caught his man cheating.”
“That must have been unpleasant,” she commiserated. “I understand how important it is to get Collingswood Hall in order. My brother was fortunate. When he inherited, everything was in excellent shape. He also has a very conscientious steward.”
“From what I saw of Sanderford Park, it’s a well-maintained estate.” Matthew inclined his head, and the footman removed their dessert plates. “Your brother must enjoy his work in the Lords, because he’s certainly passionate about it.”
He has the right of that. “Henry believes he can help his people by becoming involved. Will your brother and sister be coming home soon?”
He poured more wine into their glasses. “Gregory should be here next week, and Margaret could arrive tomorrow. I hope that doesn’t inconvenience you. I would have told you sooner, but I only received their letters this morning.” He grinned. “Be prepared. My brother has a wicked sense of humor and likes to tease.”
“That’s fine.,” she giggled. “Henry was a big tease while we were growing up, so I’m used to it. Tell me more about Margaret.”
He leaned forward and grinned. “Ah, yes. My sister’s constantly on the move, and she rarely stays still for any length of time. Watching her can be exhausting. The twins are particularly fond of her because she plays with them and tells wonderful stories.”
She watched his eyes light up as he talked of his sister, no doubt, he was quite fond of her. “I’m sure the twins adore her if she has that much energy. Children love to play. My nieces threw a tea party every day, and I spent many happy afternoons with them. I plan to do that with Christina and Catherine too.”
“What did I do to deserve you?” The sincerity in his tone melted another piece of ice surrounding her heart. “I’m sure the twins will love you once they get to know you.”
Matthew stood and moved beside her chair, then drop to one knee. “I have a gift for you. I hope you like it. I never gave you a betrothal ring, so before I left London, I purchased one for you. I hope you will wear it as a token of our future together. There’s also a brooch to match.”
He took her hand and slid the ring on her finger above the gold wedding band she wore. He turned her hand over and stroked her palm. He kissed it. Emotion flooded her senses. Matthew was a romantic. She’d never suspected that. He pinned the brooch to the front of her gown, where her décolletage dipped low.
She held up her hand to the light, and the gorgeous sapphire gemstone encircled with diamonds sparkled. “Oh, Matthew, thank you. It fits perfectly. This brooch is lovely as well, and I needed one. I’ll be happy to wear both pieces in the promise of our blossoming friendship.” His thoughtfulness moved her, and she blinked to keep a tear from falling. To hide her emotions, she said, “Since we’re finished with our meal, may we go to the library? I want to find another book.”
“Certainly, my dear.” He stood and offered his arm, then escorted her there. After searching the shelves for several minutes, she saw a book she wanted, but it was too high. He grabbed for it and lost his balance. He stumbled against her and grabbed her arms, pulling her against him. Their eyes met, and her heart fluttered.
He slowly lowered his head. An odd feeling coiled in the pit of her belly. As he explored her lips, an immediate jolt of energy rushed through her, and she fell into his kiss. He stroked his tongue across her mouth, and she wanted it to go on forever. This was much better than any kiss she’d had before. His hand found her breast, and he cupped the underside. Her nipple grew taut as he gently squeezed.
Unfamiliar sensations coursed through her as he ran his other hand down her side and gathered up her skirt. When his hand touched her bare thigh, and moved upward, her breath hitched. He touched her core. Her passion rose fast; her heart pounded as his finger entered her in a most scandalous way.
The feelings coursing through her were beyond anything she’d ever imagined. Her hand rested against his chest, and his heart pounded, along with her own. Their tongues started dueling, and with each thrust of his, she could barely breathe. She closed her eyes as something began to build.
He flicked a finger across her core, sending a tingling
sensation to her lower region. A blaze of heat rushed through her veins. “Oh, my,” she sighed softly.
He slowed his stroking and removed his hand. “I beg your pardon. I promised I would give you time, and the first opportunity we’re alone, I almost ravish you. I’ll try to control my desire until you’re ready for more.”
Breathless, Helen asked, “I know we agreed to wait…surely kissing is permissible, unless you would rather not?”
Oh, why did I say anything?
A fine time for him to remember his promises.
“I don’t want to push you into something before you’re ready. We need to spend more time with each other, and I promise,” he grinned, “we’ll share more kisses soon. Let me escort you to your bedchamber.” Matthew walked her to her door, then kissed her cheek and bade her good night.
It took Helen quite a while to fall asleep. She kept remembering their heated encounter in the library. While she appreciated his honor, he recalled it too soon. She’d been on the precipice of something, of what she was not sure. Finally, sleep carried her away as she dreamed of her husband’s passionate kisses.
CHAPTER 10
When Matthew entered the breakfast room the following morning, he went to the sideboard, piled his plate high with coddled eggs, bacon, kippers, and toast slathered with butter. He chuckled to himself. Clearly, he was famished this morning. As he took a seat at the table, Helen came in, filled her plate, and joined him.
He rose and kissed her cheek, then returned to his seat. “Good morning. Are you ready for your first ride along the shore? The tide’s low, so the sand will be perfect. After our ride, we’ll visit a few of my tenants. Cook is packing a picnic lunch for us, since we’ll be gone for most of the day.”
Excitement glowed in her bright blue eyes, and his pulse kicked up a notch. “I’m looking forward to it. When I caught my first sight of the sea, it cast a spell over me. I’m glad you’re taking me to meet your tenants as well. It’s important they know me and understand I’m willing to help them.”