by Vikki Vaught
Matthew received a letter from Margaret and shared it with Helen. Peter’s uncle had passed, so he was now Viscount Hartford. His sister’s chatty letter was filled with information regarding the house and her plans for it. Her husband’s estate was in a small village five miles from Basingstoke, and she wrote she adored being closer to London.
With both Gregory and Margaret gone, things settled down. His wife grew bigger every day. He loved watching the gentle swell of her belly, knowing his child nestled within.
While there were no more accidents, he did not want her to go anywhere without him, so when she visited Lady Ralston or Mrs. Winslow, he escorted her. She voiced her complaints regarding the constraints, but until he discovered who was behind her accidents, it would be foolish for her to travel alone.
On the morning of the twentieth, his lovely wife found him ensconced in his study. The bright smile she wore as she breezed into the room went straight to his heart. He’d not seen that particular smile since London. “Happy Birthday, Matthew. How does it feel to be eight and twenty? I must say, you don’t look a minute older. What would you like to do today?”
“My goodness, it is my birthday. I had forgotten. Spend time with you and my girls; I can’t think of anything I would rather do.” Her cheerful attitude sent his hope soaring. “Since it’s such a nice day and not too terribly cold, we could drive to the village. How does that sound?”
“The twins would enjoy that since they’ve been confined inside for the last six weeks,” she mused. “We can go to the confectionery and let them pick out sweetmeats. But surely there’s something special you would like for yourself?”
“Well,” he hesitated, then his speech rushed out the rest, “spending time alone with you would please me greatly.” He flexed his fingers as he waited for her answer.
She coyly lowered her lashes. “Perhaps…later.” Then she straightened her spine. “If you will arrange for the carriage, I’ll get the girls, and we can be off. I’ll meet you out front in fifteen minutes.”
As he quickly ordered the carriage brought ’round, his spirit soared. Perhaps she would allow him to make love to her. If she did, it would be the first time since leaving London. Frissons of desire shot through to his loins as he contemplated having her in his bed again. He prayed he was not reading more into her demeanor. It had been two months since he’d more than brushed her cheek with a kiss.
Perhaps tonight that will change.
He enjoyed their time in the village. Christina and Catherine had oohed over the sweetmeats, their noses pressed against the glass case. At last his daughters made their selection, then they made their way to the bookshop, and he allowed them to each select a new book.
Matthew enjoyed watching Helen with his little angels. Eight months ago, he would never have thought of them as angels, and he owed their miraculous change to her. The twins had started calling her “mama,” and she beamed every time they called her that.
Helen had been more receptive lately, and she’d had a glimmer in her eyes when they talked in his study. Perhaps she would grant his wish. The thought of holding her in his arms again had desire pumping in his veins. Making love to her would be the best birthday present she could give him.
Oh, Lord, please let her forgive me.
That evening, Matthew asked her to sit beside him instead of at the foot of the table so they could talk. Once the footman served the main course, he dismissed him. “We’ve rarely spoken of your eldest brother. From what you’ve said, I gather you were close, even though you were many years apart in age. I enjoyed seeing his wife when we were in London. I remember when I first met her. Even though it had been years since his death, it still pained her to speak of him.”
Her eyes turned poignant. “Nelson was a wonderful brother. He made sure Kathryn and I were well cared for and felt loved. I told you my parents were always in London, so he took their place. He taught me how to swim, and every summer we would spend afternoons at the lake. Nelson also taught me how to ride. It’s due to his patience and determination I became such a proficient rider.”
“I always wondered where you learned to swim and ride so well.” He loved watching her talk. When she grew animated, she moved her hands and her face glowed with vitality.
For the next twenty minutes, they devoted their time and conversation to their meal. He loved Helen’s unabashed delight in savoring Cook’s offerings. So many women of the ton barely touched their food.
She set her serviette beside her plate. “You mentioned you were sent to school after your mother passed away. I would imagine that was difficult.”
“It was.” He placed his empty wine glass on the table. “I missed my home terribly and couldn’t wait for the holidays. As I mentioned before, my father was desperately in love with my mother, and when she died, part of him went with her. Thank God for Bradley. I don’t know what I would have done without him. We were both smaller than the other boys so we gravitated to each other.”
He watched as she tucked a strand of her gorgeous red-gold hair behind her ear, and tenderness for her filled his soul. He prayed she could find it in her heart to forgive him.
She giggled. “It’s hard to imagine you were ever small for your age.”
“The year I turned sixteen, I grew five inches over the summer.” He grinned. “When I returned to school, I had grown taller than most of my peers. No one picked on me after that.”
“Is that around the same time you started your rakish behavior?” she teased. Her laughter reminded him of tingling bells.
“I fell in love with women that year—short, tall, slim, plump—it didn’t matter. I found them fascinating.” He met her gaze. “Even though I was a rake, I never flirted with innocent young women, only experienced widows. That’s the reason my father arranged my marriage.”
Her brows narrowed. “While I understand you resented him, you shouldn’t have treated Belinda the way you did.”
Devil’s teeth.
I should not have brought that up.
He had to turn the conversation around. “You’re right. I’m ashamed of my behavior. I never want you to feel the pain I caused my first wife.” He looked directly into her eyes. “I’m not sure why I didn’t break it off with her before I went to London. Truthfully, I never thought about it. I did a grave disservice to you and Cecilia. If I’d broken with her at that time, she would have accepted it, so by the time we arrived, she would have moved on to someone else.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “It was thoughtless of you.”
He moved to her side and knelt, taking her hand into his. “I promise I never did anything to make her think I would marry her. As bad as this sounds, there was no emotional involvement, at least on my part, and I believed she felt the same way. All I can do now is promise I’ll always be faithful. Have I ruined any chance with you because of my carelessness?”
Oh, please let her forgive me.
She searched his face. “We’re married. I don’t want to dwell on this. I believe you didn’t raise her expectations. While you did both of us a disservice, I forgive you and want us to move forward. We’ll soon have a child together, and for our babe’s sake, I forgive you. It will still take time for me to fully trust you, but I’m trying.” She relaxed her posture. “I’m glad we talked. We need to do this more often. Now here’s your birthday gift. Open it.”
He accepted the long, slender box. “You shouldn’t have gotten me anything.” Matthew opened it and discovered a new riding crop. “I need this since I lost my old one. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She grinned. “Your real present is in the library.”
He rose and offered his arm. “Then by all means, let us make haste so I can find out what it is.”
When they entered the room, he saw a portrait of Christina and Catherine hanging above the mantel. Awestruck, he asked, “When did you have this done?”
“Kathryn did it,” she replied. “She made drawings of the girls while
we were in London.”
Her sister had caught the most adorable expressions on his daughters’ faces. They looked so sweet and innocent, just like the little angels they had become. Tears came to his eyes. “She’s incredibly talented. I’ll cherish this forever. Thank you, Helen. This is the nicest present I’ve ever received.”
“Kathryn will be famous someday,” she beamed proudly. “She’s probably one of the most gifted artists of our age. I’m glad you like it.”
Once he finished admiring the painting, they sat on the sofa, and Helen opened the book to the place where she had left off the night before. While he enjoyed listening to her melodic voice as she read, his mind kept drifting. It had been so long since they’d made love, and all he could think of was taking her upstairs and showing her how much he loved her. He shifted in his seat, and finally, his wife snapped the book closed. “I’m going upstairs. Give me fifteen minutes, then come to me.”
God, I love my forthright wife. “Of course. I’ll be more than happy to join you. I’ll see you shortly.”
Matthew’s nerves were rubbed raw. Wanting to give her the fifteen minutes she requested, he retired to his bedchamber, took a quick wash and pulled on his dressing gown. With still five minutes left, he drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair as each minute slowly went by. At last, the clock had moved to the appropriate time.
Once he reached Helen’s door, he took a deep breath and strode into her room. She sat by the hearth with the firelight creating a halo around her glorious hair. He went to her and knelt before her.
He gently took her hand in his. “Your skin glows in the candlelight.” He leaned forward and stroked her soft face, then wrapped his arms around her and gently pulled her close. Breathing in her luscious rose scent, he kissed her. “I’ve missed touching you so much.”
Leaning forward, he kissed her. As she responded, he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue across her lips. When she parted for him, he explored the depths of her mouth. As he gently cupped her breast, she gasped. He pulled her with him as he stood, then swept her into his arms and carried her to the bed.
Once they were lying upon the satin sheets, he stroked her cheek. “I’m desperately in love with you, my darling. I want tonight to be for you. May I make love to you?”
With his heart in his throat, he waited, praying she would give in and let him show her how much he cared. She met his gaze and nodded. That was all the encouragement he needed.
He rained kisses from her face to her delicate neck, then ran his shaking hands across her belly, parted her pretty thighs and stroked her core. Desire coursed through his veins when she moaned.
Emboldened by her response, he made his way down her body and trailed kisses over her firm belly, gently rounded with his unborn child. He licked her navel and watched her lids flutter closed as she gasped. He nibbled his way to her curls and licked her little pearl as he inhaled her unique musky scent.
Her breathing grew faster, and she moaned as he slid his tongue into her tight sheath. Writhing and twisting, she pulled his head tighter against her. He licked and nibbled as he stroked his fingers in and out. As she came apart, her high, keening scream was music to his ears.
Matthew crawled up her delectable body and rolled her to her side, then slid into her tight sheath from behind. The feelings were so intense he almost lost control. He gritted his teeth and sweat broke out on his forehead as he began to slide in and out of her. He moved slowly as he stroked her sweet bud of desire.
When her muscles tightened around his shaft, he knew she was nearing her peak again. Just as she splintered apart in her release, he surged in and flooded her passage with his essence. As soon as he could catch his breath, he gently turned her so she was facing him.
Her face glowed from the pleasure she’d experienced, and he tenderly kissed her. They lay in each other’s arms for a long time, enjoying the peace they found in each other’s arms. As she drifted off to sleep, his heart ached. He had to gain her love. He now understood how his father must have felt when his mother died. If something happened to Helen, a part of him would go with her.
CHAPTER 23
When Helen awoke, Matthew was gone from her bed. She relived how he had so tenderly loved her the night before. It was the most incredible experience of her life. She would love him forever. He’d been so gentle she’d had to fight the tears to keep them from falling. There was a completeness to their lovemaking that had not been there previously. He loved her deeply, and she needed to tell him she’d fallen in love with him, but still she hesitated.
Helen was not sure why she did not want to tell him. For some reason she was not ready. She supposed a small part of her had not completely let go of the hurt. It came back to what had happened with the duke. That experience made her afraid to let go. That was something she needed to consider, because she did not want to give power to Hanford, and she was doing that. It was not fair to Matthew to hold on to past hurts.
Over the next couple of months, they fell into a pattern. Her husband spent every night in her bed, and most evenings, he made love to her. Whenever the baby moved, he gently stroked and kissed her belly, murmuring nonsense to their unborn babe. Matthew believed he was fulfilling his father’s dying wish, and it meant the world to him.
She was now eight months along, and it was no longer possible for her to see her feet when she stood up. Helen was growing a little concerned, because she looked bigger than Melody had at the end of her last confinement. The babe must be large. She hoped she would not have a hard time delivering.
On the first of April, the midwife came for her weekly visit. After she finished her examination, she told Helen the babe could arrive by the third week of April. She suspected they were probably off a bit on the due date. That was not possible, since she could not have conceived before the end of July. By this time, she was extremely uncomfortable since she carried the babe low, and the child moved constantly. She prayed the next few weeks would go by quickly.
The morning of the fifth started out like any other day. While Helen was walking with the girls, a gush of fluid ran down her legs and a sharp pain stabbed at her belly, doubling her over. She dropped onto the bench.
Keeping her fear at bay, she calmly smiled at Christina and Catherine. “Christina, I need you to get your papa. I think your new baby brother or sister is ready to arrive. Catherine, why don’t you sit with me while we wait, all right?”
Helen tried to remain calm so she did not frighten the girls.
It’s too soon, what if something goes wrong?
Oh, Lord, please keep my baby safe.
She watched as the little girl went tearing across the garden and into the house, praying Matthew would be in his study. Helen released her breath when she heard her husband admonish the child through the open door. “Christina Marie. Why are you yelling? Sweetheart, calm down. I’m sure your mama is fine. Why don’t you take me to her, all right?” Matthew followed Christine outside. He rushed to her. “My darling, what’s wrong? Is it the babe?”
“My water broke. Help me to my bedchamber and send for the midwife. I’m not due for three more weeks. Please…Oh, that hurts.” She gasped, as he scooped her up and raced into the house, yelling for Wells.
Wells came into the back hall and immediately called for the footman, Malcolm, and sent him to the midwife as her husband carried her through the foyer. Christina and Catherine followed behind them crying. The butler took charge and called for one of the downstairs maids. “Priscilla, please take Lady Christina and Lady Catherine to Miss Wilson.” Wells looked at the girls and spoke reassuringly, “My ladies, everything is fine. Please go along with Priscilla to the schoolroom, all right?”
Christina hiccupped. “B-but, what is w-wrong with M-mama, and why is P-papa carrying her?”
Helen wanted to call out to the girls as Matthew carried her upstairs, but she could not catch a breath as another stab of pain jabbed at her belly.
All thought of the twins vanished.
Her heart pounded.
Her pulse throbbed.
Oh, please, God, help me.
* * * *
Matthew gently laid Helen on her bed and rang for Sally. “The midwife will be here soon. Let us get you out of these wet clothes and into a dry nightgown.”
As he searched her drawers for a clean gown, Sally arrived, and he gratefully let her finish helping his wife. He pulled a chair to the bed and sat, then took her hand in his. Hers trembled and his was shaking, but he had to gain control for her sake. She needed him strong so she would not be as frightened.
“It’s going to be fine.” He spoke in a calm, reassuring voice. “Many women have babies early, and they come out healthy. Take several deep, cleansing breaths and close your eyes. I shall stay by your side the entire time. I care naught what the midwife says.”
A knock echoed through the bedchamber, and the midwife bustled in. “Well, Lady Collingswood, this little one is in a hurry to arrive. Let me check you, and we’ll see what is going on. My lord, please step outside while I examine your wife.”
He stared the woman down. “I’m not leaving. Do your examination while I comfort my wife.”
The midwife’s eyes widened, obviously scandalized. “This is highly irregular, yer lordship. I’m sure yer wife would prefer ye leave while I examine her.”
Helen interjected, “It’s all right, Mrs. Johnson. I want him in here. The pain has stopped so perhaps it’s a false alarm anyway.”
I have married an amazing woman.
Mrs. Johnson harrumphed and grudgingly did her examination. When she finished, she braced her hands on her ample hips. “Yer water has broken, yer ladyship. Yer pains should start again. With a first babe, it can take a good long time.”
Helen’s labor began an hour later. At first, it remained mild, but as the afternoon progressed, so did the strength of the pains. Matthew stayed by her side and let her grip his hand with each contraction. The midwife checked her periodically and assured them all was as expected. Shortly after eight, the pains became much stronger and closer together, but the midwife said it was still too early to push, that she needed to resist the temptation. Around midnight, Helen lay limp and pale.