by Nolon King
“Resents you, why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I remind him of her. Maybe he feels bad that the connection between him and me isn’t as strong as it was between my mother and me.”
“What was her name?”
“Carissa.”
“What was she like? Do you remember?”
“Yeah, though sometimes I wonder how much of what I remember is accurate.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, they say that memories aren’t concrete. That each time we remember something, we can’t help but alter the actual memory. We fill in the fuzzy details, and before too long memory might be more made up than fact. There are times I remember her as being vibrant, funny, and just super into being a mom — going to school and volunteering, making projects with me, reading to me, teaching me to paint like her. Then, other times, I remember her as quiet and withdrawn. Tired, especially towards the end.”
“Well, can’t both be true?”
“Yeah, but sometimes I feel like her last days rob the color of those earlier memories. Fortunately, I have a few videos she recorded, and they help me anchor the reality.”
“I don’t have much video of my dad. And no videos with the both of us.”
“I’m sorry. Do you think about him a lot?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you get along?”
“Yeah. Like your dad, he worked a lot, so I didn’t see him that much. But every summer we did something special. Sometimes he took weekends off. He was a good guy.”
She looked at Bobby’s face as he stared up at the moon — the smile lit by the mention of his father seemed so terribly sweet.
“What was his name?”
“Robert.”
“So, you’re Bobby Junior?”
He smiled, “Yeah. When I was a kid, people called me RJ, BJ, or just Junior.”
“Aww, Junior,” she teased.
He kissed her, then pulled away, looking at her.
“What?” she asked.
“Just admiring your beauty.”
She laughed, turning away. “Oh, stop.”
“You are beautiful.”
“Thank you,” she said, meeting his eyes. “Thank you for blowing off your friends to take me out.”
“I can see them anytime. And, besides, I missed you. It’s been a long month.”
They only had drama class together, and during the weeks leading up to the Christmas break, Bobby was running lines with Brianna and a few others with bigger roles, so Jordyn didn’t get to talk with him as much.
“Besides,” he said, “I’m sure I’ll hang out with the others after I drop you off.”
“What are they doing? Big New Year’s Eve party?”
“Calum rented another hotel room. Invited a ton of people. Gonna be a huge party. His Cousin Perry is even coming. That guy’s a handful.”
He was playing it down, but she could tell that he was looking forward to going. It was difficult to reconcile the sweet, quiet Bobby she knew with the one who liked partying.
“Ah,” she said, feeling a bit envious that she wouldn’t be there. A part of her wondered if there would be single girls, looking to hook up. She’d seen the way Bobby was eyed in the hallway, and because they weren’t officially dating, Jordyn always felt like they thought he was fair game to flirt with.
She wondered how their school dynamic would change, now that they’d been on a date. Would they walk through the hallways arm-in-arm? Would everyone know they were going out? Would he officially be off the market?
Or did guys like him date multiple girls? Keep their options open?
Again, she wished her mom were alive. She didn’t want to presume anything or be played for a fool.
“What’s wrong?” Bobby asked, as if sensing Jordyn’s insecurity.
“Nothing,” she lied, trying to think of some way to ask him about their status. Were they officially dating? Was it an exclusive situation?
Just as she was about to ask, and maybe say something stupid, someone yelled, “Asshole!”
They turned to see Calum approaching. Jordyn whispered, “What’s he doing here?”
“I dunno. I thought he was hanging with the gang.”
“Hey, there,” Calum said. “Long time, no see. I thought your ass was put in a dungeon!”
He hugged Jordyn, then kissed her on the cheek.
“Yeah, I just got out.”
“Awesome! You coming to the party tonight?”
“No, no more parties for me, at least not for a while.”
“Shit. Well, don’t worry, I’ll make sure your boy doesn’t kiss anyone else at midnight.”
Calum punched Bobby in the gut. It looked harder than it needed to be.
Bobby laughed uncomfortably, then said, “Where’s everyone else? I thought you were all hanging out at the hotel pool?”
“I needed to go for a walk. Brianna is driving me fucking crazy.”
“What’s going on?” Bobby asked.
“You know how she gets. Just in a super bitchy mood. Must be that time of the month.” He laughed, then turned to Jordyn, “You know what I’m talking ‘bout, right?”
Jordyn wasn’t sure if he was asking if she could relate because she was a girl and had PMS or that yes, she knew Brianna could be a real bitch.
“Happens to the best of us.”
“I dunno,” Calum said, looking Jordyn up and down. “Some girls it happens to more than others. I mean, Brianna gets really bitchy. Admit it, you don’t like her, right? I heard the shit she said about you when you first started hanging around with us.”
Jordyn felt acutely uncomfortable. Was Calum trying to create drama?
“Yeah, I like her,” she said, the insincerity probably clear in her voice.
“What did she say?” Bobby sounded pissed.
“Oh, you know, just the catty shit that she always says when she’s full of herself. Don’t worry. She stopped that shit when she saw you were one of us.”
Jordyn nodded. She wasn’t about to say anything bad about Brianna, even if Brianna talked shit about her every day. Sure, Calum was pissed, but that would pass in a day or two, and whatever Jordyn said would be all that anyone would remember. It was best to say nothing.
This was just the sort of high school drama that Jordyn tried so hard to avoid.
Calum put his arm around her. “So, is my boy treating you okay?”
“Yes, he’s very sweet.”
Calum laughed. “You two make a cute couple. And, Bobby, you’d better hold onto this one, or else I might have to take her. You should’ve seen the sluts he dated before you. Might want to get him checked for STDs.”
Calum laughed, his arm still around her.
Jordyn tried not to take offense. After all, Calum and the guys busted each other’s balls. This was how guys showed affection, and that was probably Calum telling her that she was now one of them.
Still, Jordyn felt a weird undercurrent, one that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Something that made Calum’s words seem more like veiled threats.
“Don’t listen to him,” Bobby said. “I don’t have any STDs. And Calum has no room to talk about being a slut. Dude’s slept with half the cheerleaders.”
“And three teachers,” he said, smiling.
“Really?” Jordyn asked shocked.
Calum nodded.
Bobby said, “And two of them were female.”
“Fuck you,” Calum said, letting go of Jordyn and rushing Bobby, the two of them trading a few playful punches.
They went back and forth, taking jabs, a few connecting.
And again, Jordyn felt an odd undercurrent, this one decidedly violent. Like at any moment they might go from playing to an all-out fistfight.
Was this how most guys played?
Calum grabbed Bobby in a choke hold, squeezing tight.
“Let go!” Bobby said, his face red and hair a mess.
“Tell me you’re my bitch.”
; “Fuck you,” Bobby said.
Calum squeezed tighter, his face twisted into an angry red knot. “Say it, bitch.”
“Fuck you,” Bobby spoke through gritted teeth, twisting and managing to slide out of the choke hold.
He slipped out of the hold and managed to slap Calum in the face. It was loud, almost echoing in the night.
Surprised, Calum glared at Bobby, raising his fists.
They circled each other.
“Okay, bitch, it’s on,” Calum said, taking a swing.
Bobby barely managed to evade it.
Jordyn’s stomach lurched. This was it — whatever was brewing beneath the surface would now spill over into an ugly fight.
Calum broke into a laugh and pulled Bobby into a hug. “I’m just fucking with you, bro.”
Jordyn sighed with relief. Calum had his arm around Bobby as they walked back over to her.
“Okay, you two, it’s been fun, but I’m gonna get back to Brianna before she starts whining and ruining everyone’s night.”
“Good luck with that,” Bobby said.
“Seriously,” Calum said to Jordyn. “I’m glad to see you two together finally. Bobby needs a nice girl like you.”
“Thanks,” she said.
Calum grinned, looking at Bobby. “Is it true what they say about nice girls?”
“What’s that?” Bobby asked.
“How they’re the dirty ones when the lights go out?”
“Fuck you,” Bobby said, punching him playfully.
Calum winked at Jordyn. “So, that’s a yes. Awesome.”
He gave her a thumbs up then left them alone.
Once out of earshot, Bobby said, “Sorry about all that.”
“What was that?”
“Sometimes he gets jealous when other people seem happy.”
“Why?”
“I dunno. I think he feels trapped with Brianna. They’re like a fucking power couple or something. Been dating for two years, which is like a twenty-year marriage in high school. It’s complicated.”
“I guess so.” After a long pause Jordyn said, “Why do you let him treat you like that?”
“Like what?”
“The little insults. The grabbing you in a choke hold. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you two were enemies.”
“Nah, that’s just how he is. You just gotta know him like I do. It’s not a big deal. Are you okay? I’m sure he wasn’t trying to insult you.”
“I’m okay. Why is he such a …”
“A dick?”
Jordyn laughed.
“Let’s just say that even though his dad is like the most powerful man in town, he isn’t a nice man. Sometimes Calum takes it out on other people, but he means well.”
“What’s his dad like?”
“Well,” he said, looking down at his watch. “Shit, I need to get you home.”
“Okay,” she said. Bobby was clearly changing the subject.
Jordyn changed the subject as they walked back to the car, teasing him for his borderline fetishistic love for steak, while he ribbed her for her inability to appreciate the finer things in life.
She considered bringing Calum up on the ride home, but didn’t want to end New Year’s Eve, and such a wonderful date, on a sour note. Besides, maybe Calum’s personal life wasn’t her business. She couldn’t expect Bobby to surrender his best friend’s secrets.
Chapter 27 - Mallory Black
Katie had been out of the coma for nearly thirty-five minutes before the doctor came out of the room to update Mal.
Katie needed to stay in the hospital a few days for observation but seemed well on her way to recovery. Swelling had receded, so barring any unforeseen situations, she was on the mend and would be okay.
Mal entered Katie’s room. The girl was off the machines and sitting up, holding a styrofoam cup with ice chips.
Mal smiled.
Katie’s eyes were red and puffy.
“They told me that she’s dead.”
Mal nodded.
“And my father, too. You shot him?”
“Yes,” Mal said, approaching the bed. “I’m sorry.”
She was saying sorry for the loss of her mother, not her father, but allowed Katie to interpret it as needed.
Katie shook her head, staring down at her ice cup.
“I wish I never met you.”
Mal said nothing. She expected the girl to have some anger. It was good to vent those feelings. And she’d been told by the doctor not to upset Katie in any way.
She looked up at Mal, eyes tearing, “Why did you have to get involved?”
“Your father was abusing you. Both of you.”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t that bad. We could deal with it. It was better than having my mother dead.”
“I’m sorry, Katie. I wish I had gotten there sooner.”
“Now I don’t have anyone. My family is gone. Peter is gone. I don’t have any friends. What am I going to do?”
“Someone will come by to discuss your options. But the most important thing is that you’re okay. You survived.”
Katie looked up at Mal, met her eyes. “Is it? Is that the important thing? Or is the important thing that you get me to give you info on Coach Kincaid so you could use it to find another bad guy? Or give you info on my father so you could take him away from me? Take my family away? You don’t care about me, Ms. Black, so please don’t pretend otherwise.”
“I do care. I sat with you, waiting for you to come out of your coma.”
“You did that because you felt guilty. If you cared about me you wouldn’t have pushed me to report my father. I told you that he’d hurt us, but you didn’t care.”
Katie closed her eyes, tears now pouring down both sides of her face.
Mal got up, grabbed a box of napkins, and handed it to her.
Katie looked up, her eyes dark and vacant, ringed in red. Her mouth open, as if she didn’t have the strength to shut it.
“Please, just leave.”
“You just said that you don’t have anyone. I’m here to look after you until I can get someone to see you tomorrow.”
“I don’t want you here. All I see when I look at you is my mother’s eyes looking back at me, bleeding out in my arms. You should’ve just let me die. At least then we’d be together.”
Mal stepped back, tears brewing as she tried to think of something that might make things better, or maybe heal the girl. But what could you say to someone who lost the only three people who cared about her?
She didn’t have a single word to change the facts. Katie was all alone. Life was about to get even harder than it had been. She’d likely end up in the foster care system. That could either be the best or worst thing for a child. A roll of the dice and there was nothing a kid could do to twist the odds in their favor. Losing meant ending up in the home of people looking to cash in on some kids, or worse, in the homes of predators waiting for prey.
It was a vicious cycle that took kids, broke them down, and turned them into husks, more likely to abuse others once they left childhood behind.
Mal started to say something, but Katie bellowed, “Leave!”
The scream was so loud and sudden that Mal jumped back, startled.
“I’m sorry.”
“Leave!” Katie said, pressing the button on the device beside her bed. “Can someone get her out of here?”
Mal grabbed her backpack and her purse.
She rushed past a nurse in the hallway, ignoring the woman as she asked Mal if she was okay, then ducked into the restroom.
She went into a stall, closed the door, and sat on the toilet, shaking and crying.
She unzipped the backpack, reached into the middle pouch, and grabbed her bottle of painkillers.
She unscrewed the cap. The bottle trembled in her hand.
She dropped a pill into her palm.
It fell, bouncing on the tile floor, under the barrier, and into the neighboring next stall.
Mal stood,
opened the door, and went into the next stall, bent down, and grabbed the pill.
She was about to pop it in her mouth, damn the germs and hail the relief.
179 days off the pills.
She had to calm her racing brain.
Six months without the pills — an accomplishment. Hell, the days weren’t even as hard anymore.
Six very long months.
Mal’s entire body was shaking. Her chest was tight. Panic crawled up her chest and into her throat, threatening to choke her.
She would surely crack without relief.
Just one pill.
She needed something for the pain, something to heal her aching heart. The pills were made to dim the aching.
Just one to numb the swelling chaos. One to make her feel something, anything, other than the unending agony.
Just one pill would make it all go away, for a little while.
She could start over tomorrow.
Start her streak all over again. A new run at sobriety.
Just one pill.
She popped it into her mouth, felt it on her tongue.
All she had to do was swallow, and the shaking, sweating, and pain would fade.
She started to swallow, then stopped.
She opened the stall door, leaned over the toilet and spit it out.
She flushed, then fell to the floor sobbing.
Chapter 28 - Jeffrey Brown
Jeffrey Brown sat in the tiny dark bedroom of his crappy little apartment, clicking on his shitty laptop to view the LiveLyfe account of his bitch ex-wife, Sandra.
The newest post included a photo she’d taken of her and Lynn Macklin at last year’s Christmas party. Shit, he could post a few photos to show what total sluts they were. Lynn was the whore who got them involved in that swinger’s club in the first place.
She’d posted several paragraphs under the photo detailing her grief over her “best friend’s” death, then even more paragraphs about how fucked up the world was, with lunatics walking around with such dangerous weapons.
Jeff laughed at that particular choice of word. Lunatic. The same word she’d used to describe him once after a particularly nasty fight that she had started. The one where he’d hurled a wrought iron bar chair through the sliding glass door of a gorgeous home they once shared. The McMansion he’d worked his ass off for, where she now lived with one of his former co-workers. Eugene, the backstabber who stole his promotion.