“You don’t need to be sorry. We’re roommates. There is nothing that says we need to hang out together. You have a life. I have a life.”
I saw the hurt in her eyes. I didn’t mean to sound harsh. That was not my intention, but I did need to put some distance between us. She was Tamlyn’s best friend. I did not want to wade into that mess. It would only cause problems for all of us.
“I—”
“Do you guys always get up this early?” Tamlyn complained as she came into the kitchen. “I need coffee.”
“I have to go to work,” I snapped irritably.
Tamlyn raised an eyebrow at me. “Testy, testy, Tommy. All work and no play makes Tommy a cranky boy.”
“I’m out,” I said.
“Stop,” Tamlyn said. “I was only teasing. What’d you end up doing last night?”
“I ate, worked, and then went to bed.”
Tamlyn wrinkled her nose. “You should have come out with us.”
“No thanks.”
“We had a blast,” she carried on like I had said nothing. “Lily is really starting to come out of her shell. Some guy bought her a drink and she actually flirted with him. It’s like watching my little baby grow up. Finally, my hard work is paying off.”
Don’t be jealous, don’t be jealous.
“I didn’t flirt,” Lily argued. “I thanked him.”
“You two were chatting it up when I got back from the bathroom,” Tamlyn said with a laugh. “He was into you.”
“He was just being nice,” Lily said with her cheeks red.
I could see Lily was uncomfortable and felt like I needed to jump in and save her. “How long are you here for?” I asked my sister.
“Gee, way to push me out the door,” she pouted.
“I’m not pushing you out the door,” I said. “I was only asking so I knew if you were going to be here when I got home.”
“No, I won’t cramp your style a second night,” she said. “Don’t act like you don’t miss me. I know you do.”
“Absolutely,” I muttered. “I have to get going. Have fun doing whatever it is the two of you have planned for the day.”
I left my coffee on the counter, grabbed my briefcase, and left before they could say anything more. I didn’t want to be the party pooper but I sure as hell didn’t want to hear about the guy Lily was flirting with. If I stuck around and listened to Lily gush about some dude being a great kisser or whatever, my feelings were going to be known. Both Lily and Tamlyn would realize I had feelings for Lily and that would be bad. I had to stay away before my face gave it away.
By the time I got to work, my mood had only gotten worse. I was having a real pity party for one. Poor me. The poor, yet rich geek that wouldn’t go out and get a woman. Because I knew I could. I just didn’t have the balls to do it. Or the desire. No, not true. I did want a woman. I liked women. I just didn’t like the “putting myself out there” nonsense.
I walked into the office and could actually feel the scowl on my face. I knew I looked pissed. I didn’t try and hide it because I was hoping it would keep people from bugging me. I wasn’t in the mood for idle conversation.
I was halfway to my office when everyone stood and started to clap. I stopped walking and looked around. I assumed they were clapping at someone or something else. “What’s going on?” I asked.
“Number eight on the app store!” Chris shouted.
I immediately knew what he was talking about. “No way,” I gasped. “Seriously?”
He nodded and walked toward me with his tablet facing toward me. Sure enough, our app was right there in the top ten. “We made the top ten chart!” he said with obvious excitement. “I’ll admit I didn’t think it was possible without the advertisement, but you did it.”
I couldn’t believe it was real. “Damn,” I said and shook my head.
He slapped a hand on my shoulder. “This is good,” he said. “Try and look happy.”
“I am happy. I’m stunned. Our first few apps never broke the top fifty.”
“You know what this means?” Chris asked with a huge grin on his face.
“You want a raise?” I asked dryly.
“We all want raises!” someone said.
I forced a smile and started for my office. I was more than willing to give Chris a raise. He sure as hell deserved one. I wasn’t interested in having that conversation in front of everyone. I walked in and waited for him to enter before closing the door behind him.
“What does this mean?” I asked as I put my briefcase down.
“It means we have to make the next one even better,” he said with a laugh. “You were right to be cautious. We can’t be lazy. People are going to be watching. Investors are going to have their eye on us. They’re going to want to know if we’re a good bet.”
“I’m not interested in going public,” I said. “I like how things are right now.”
“You don’t have to go public, but an influx of cash means more people. More people means more brainpower churning out even more products. We can take on some of those clients we reject because we don’t have the time.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I said. “I’m happy we’re on the chart, but you know how fast these things change.”
“I do, but I think this is a good sign. Imagine if we would have done real advertisement. We could be number one.”
I rolled my eyes. “I knew that was coming.”
“I’m only pointing out the truth.”
“I know,” I said. “I got it. I’m working on it.”
“If we get investors knocking on our door, they are going to want to know what we’re doing to market our company.”
I nodded and hoped he would go away. I wasn’t in the mood to argue. “I know.”
“We should put together a plan,” he said. “If we had an influx of cash, we could hire a fulltime team to do marketing as well as act as a spokesperson.”
“Go for it,” I told him. “I don’t have time.”
He scowled at me. “You’re in a particularly unpleasant mood this morning,” he said. “I thought you would be in a good mood. Wednesdays, you are always in a good mood.”
“Not today.”
“What happened? Did you finally make a move and she shut you down?”
“No,” I said and turned on my computer.
“You made the move, she welcomed it, and then you couldn’t get it up?”
I looked at him and saw the grin on his face. He was trying to be funny. “What do you want?”
“What happened?” he asked in a more serious tone. “You really don’t look nearly as happy as you should with the news I just gave you.”
“I’m fine,” I said.
“Are you guys fighting?”
He wasn’t going to let it go. “No. My sister showed up unannounced last night. She dragged Lily out with her.”
He slowly nodded. “Ah, now I see the problem. You have to share your girlfriend with your sister.”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?” he pressed.
Who else was I going to talk to if I didn’t talk to him? I couldn’t talk to Lily and I couldn’t talk to Tamlyn. That left my coworker. That was how much of a life I didn’t have. I could practically hear Tamlyn say she told me so.
“We had plans and Tamlyn made fun of them,” I blurted out. “She is all about going out as often as she can. She’s a social butterfly and I’m still the caterpillar hiding under a leaf or in my cocoon. Do what you will with the analogy. Lily is a lot like I am. We enjoy our Tuesday tradition, but Tamlyn shat all over it.”
“Shat?”
“You know, shit! She made me look like a total idiot. She made it seem like I was this super nerd dragging her best friend down. Lily didn’t want to go, but my fucking sister doesn’t believe anyone else can have a different opinion than her own. She thinks you have to be in a huge crowd with a hundred people fawning over you to have a good time. She has never been abl
e to just sit still and enjoy the silence. She’s always on the move. How could we come from the same fucking womb and be so damn different?”
I realized I was ranting and stopped talking. I had never said all that at once to anyone. I usually kept it to myself, which was probably why it all bubbled up at once. I quickly composed myself. I pushed my glasses back up my nose and unbuttoned my collar a bit. I was suddenly hot.
“Wow,” he said. “I bet you’ve wanted to say that for a while.”
“It’s not a big deal,” I said and quickly brushed it all under the rug where I’d been storing the frustration for most of my life.
“Have you tried telling your sister you don’t want to go out?”
I rolled my eyes. “Good idea. I wish I would have thought of it.”
“Make her hear you,” he insisted.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s fine. Lily had a good time and that’s what matters.”
“I think this thing you’ve got going between the two of you needs to be resolved,” he said. “I think you need to have a conversation with her and let her know how you feel.”
“I can’t. It’s not even an option.”
“You’re going to be miserable if you don’t at least try with this girl,” he warned. “Regret is a real bitch to live with.”
21
Lily
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay by yourself?” I asked Tamlyn.
“I’m a big girl,” she said. “I’m going to lay out by the pool while you’re in class.”
“Did you find out if you’re going to stay another night?” I asked.
She pushed on her sunglasses and grinned. “Yep, all clear. Thomas is going to be so thrilled.”
“He will be,” I said. “I think he was just expecting something different last night.”
“Something boring,” she muttered. “Have fun in school. I’m going to see if I can catch the attention of any hot guys. Maybe I’ll shack up with a rich hottie in the building. Then we could be neighbors.”
I forced a smile. I had a feeling that would not make Thomas very happy. I saw the way he wilted around her. He was different when he was allowed to shine in his own light. I loved Tamlyn dearly, but she tended to hog the spotlight. She was the biggest, brightest flower and overshadowed the rest of us.
“That would be fun,” I said. “Then we could hang out more. Me, you, and your man with Thomas.”
“You’d want to hang out and play charades,” she groaned.
I laughed and grabbed my backpack. “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it,” I said. “Have fun and don’t you dare bring a man up here and use my bed.”
“Oh, you better believe I would be using Thomas’s big-ass bed.”
“Oh god, don’t you dare,” I said. “He’ll kill you and then me for letting you stay home while I was at school.”
“He can’t expect you to babysit me.”
“Not to mention you’d just break in anyway.” I laughed.
“He was never very creative about hiding anything,” she said. “He forgets we’re linked. I sensed where that key was.”
I left the apartment and headed to the bus stop. I considered texting Thomas and apologizing again. I knew he was hurt that I went out without him. I saw the hurt. I didn’t see how Tamlyn couldn’t have seen it.
After I got out of class, there was a message from Tamlyn. She was at a coffee shop across the street from campus. She wanted me to meet her. I checked the time and figured I had about ten minutes before I had to be at work.
“You look like you got some sun,” I commented when I walked in.
“I’m getting the last bit of sun before it’s too cold,” she said. “I got you a coffee.”
“Thank you. I only have a few minutes before I have to be at work.”
“I’ll go with you,” she said. “I’ve always wondered what a bookstore looked like.”
“Very funny. There’s some comfy seating. You can kick back and read a book.”
She made a face. “Ew. No. Why?”
I laughed and took the coffee. “Come on, let’s go. I don’t want to be late.”
“How was class?” she asked as we walked.
“Long,” I said. “I have a pile of homework.”
“Are you still convinced you want to do this last leg?” she asked.
“I am,” I said. “I’m just keeping my head down. I can push through. One semester at a time. One week at a time.”
“You’ll do it,” she said. “You don’t know how to quit.”
“Thank you,” I said and nudged her shoulder. “I couldn’t have done it without you and Thomas. Thank you for pushing me onto him.”
“I’m hoping you’ll return the favor and help me get him into the dating world.” She laughed.
I winced but quickly hid it from her. I pushed open the door to the bookstore. Gloria was leaning on the counter and chatting with an older gentleman. I got the impression they were very close. When she saw me, she smiled. I introduced her to Tamlyn and promised to not be distracted by my visitor.
“This place is kind of cool,” Tamlyn said after Gloria left. She ran her fingers over the spines of the books. “Do you sit here and read when you don’t have customers?”
“Sometimes,” I said with a shrug. “Usually I’m doing homework or studying.”
“Do you get a lot of business?”
“Definitely not a lot, but she does okay,” I said.
“I would be bored out of my skull,” she said with a laugh and sat down in one of the faded leather chairs.
“That’s because you don’t know how to do quiet and relaxed,” I replied and began to straighten the books on the shelves. “Have you talked to Thomas today?”
“No, why?”
“Don’t you think you should tell him you’re sticking around for another night?” I suggested.
“He’ll figure it out when he finds me on his couch,” she said with a laugh.
I had a feeling he would not be thrilled with the surprise. I was going to give him a heads-up when she wasn’t looking. I’d send him a quick text, just in case he tried to move our Tuesday tradition to Wednesday. Two nights in a row of being disappointed would not be good.
“Do you want to get Chinese for dinner?” I asked.
“Let’s call your friend and see if he has a friend for me,” she said.
“What friend?”
“The hot lawyer you told me about,” she said.
“Gage?” I asked with surprise.
“Yeah. Text him. Let’s go out. I’ll be your support system. I know you’re scared to jump into this dating thing. I’ll go with you and give you my opinion of the guy. If he’s bad news, I’ll pick up on it. I have an excellent radar when it comes to detecting assholes.”
“You are going to be the overprotective mama,” I said.
“Yep. I have to keep an eye out for you. You’re naïve about things like this.”
“You’re right,” I agreed.
“Then text him,” she said. “See if he’s free tonight. Let’s go out dancing.”
“I have to study. I can’t go out every night.”
“It’s not every night,” she said. “It’s two nights. You can study all weekend. Unless things go well.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“If I approve and he is worthy of your beautiful self, then I would think you’d want to get together on the weekend,” she reasoned. “You need to devote some time to your man.”
“You are getting way ahead of yourself,” I told her. “I don’t have time to devote to a man. This is why I’m not interested in the dating thing. I don’t mind going out now and again, but I don’t want to worry about making plans and sticking to them. I don’t want to have to worry about someone getting their feelings hurt because I’m not always available.”
“I should have known better,” she mumbled.
“About?”
“I put you in a situation you can’t
handle,” she said with a sigh.
“What are you talking about?”
“You and Thomas are too much alike and he’s making you feel like it’s okay to hide at home all the time,” she muttered.
I couldn’t let her keep up with her very wrong assumption. I stopped with the dusting of the shelves and walked to where she was sitting. I crouched in front of her and pointed to my mouth. “Hear the words coming out of my mouth,” I said. “I am not you. I do not want to go out all the time. I am focusing on school. School is my priority. I don’t need or want a man.”
She patted my cheek. “Everyone needs a man, even if it’s just for a night or two.”
I got to my feet. Clearly, she was not going to get it. “I’m not opposed to dating casually. But seriously, I need to focus on my education. And you need to understand Thomas likes his quiet time.”
“Thomas is rubbing off on you,” she complained.
I wish. “Try this,” I said. “Whenever you think about what you like, assume Thomas hates it. Whatever you hate, he likes. Neither way is wrong. You both have your own opinions. You guys are unique in your own way. You have to accept him for who he is. It would make everything so much easier. Me too. You have always accepted I am not a fan of going out. Why are you so insistent I start now?”
It seemed like I was getting through. “I worry about you,” she said. “I feel like I’m abandoning you. I know you don’t go out a lot. I know you don’t make friends easily. I don’t want you to be lonely. It’s the same thing with Thomas.”
I knew her annoying pushiness came from a place of love. “And that’s why you put the two of us together,” I said gently. “We do get along very well. He is my friend and I feel like I’m his friend. I’m not alone. I have made a few friends at school as well. You will always be my best friend, and I don’t see myself finding another one of those, but I’m okay. I’m happy. I don’t think I would have been happy if I moved down here by myself. Consider your job done. You put me with Thomas. You saved us both with one move.”
Her laughter filled the bookstore. “I guess I did.”
“Then you’ll let us hang out at home tonight?” I asked. “I think you might actually find it fun. We’ll get some food and hang out. We can play a game or watch a movie. Trust me, it’s a lot more fun than you would think.”
Match Me Up Page 13