by Kasey Krane
That had to be the most obvious display of support anyone had shown. And I had no idea why he did it.
I thought he’d act neutrally. He hadn’t given me any reason to make me think he was on my side.
He’d pushed me away earlier in the day. He made it clear he didn’t want our relationship to go any further than it had already. He wanted to keep things simple between us. So why did he show his support for me?
That was one of the questions on my mind when we left the room.
His family was done with me. Even though they hadn’t given me any verbal confirmation of support, it was obvious they believed my story. By the end of the story, it was almost like we were all friends.
I’d felt a real sense of camaraderie amongst the brothers. They laughed at each other and with each other. They were the kind of family I’d only heard and read about in movies and books. As an only child with parents who’d always been overly protective of me—I’d never known that kind of family life.
I left the Dohertys feeling a little lighter on my feet. A surprising feeling since they were still the mafia.
I had to remind myself who they were because I’d forgotten.
They seemed so…normal. Warm. Trusting and friendly.
Isabelle was right. They looked intimidating, big, tall and muscular, but that wasn’t what they were like with each other.
Even Tristian had loosened up a bit around his brothers. Their father was clearly the boss. The one who was respected and who called all the shots, but he was also respectful and kind.
I was almost sorry to leave their company.
I considered asking Tristian if I could go and say bye to Isabelle before we left, but I decided against it.
I had to be careful and not get ahead of myself.
“Where are we going now?” I asked as we left the Doherty house.
“Home,” Tristian replied as he walked ahead of me.
Suddenly, a warm glow spread in the middle of my chest. Home? Our home? Was it possible that’s what he’d meant?
“I brought a pizza for you…for us, earlier. We didn’t get a chance to eat it,” Tristian said, once we were inside the apartment.
He locked the door behind him, checking the windows like he was surveying the neighborhood. I wanted to tell him not to worry. Aldo surely would’ve made himself known by now if we were being followed, right?
I only hoped he’d given up on me. Hopefully, he didn’t care.
There was a nagging voice in the back of my head that kept saying it couldn’t be true. I’d done something unforgivable. I’d escaped and taken one of their prisoners with me. He wasn’t going to just forget about that.
However, for now, I felt safe.
I felt safe because of Tristian and the way he looked at me. The way he stood beside me and watched over me.
“Thank you. A pizza sounds amazing!”
I went to the kitchen and found the box there on the table. Tristian brought two cans of beer out of the fridge and placed them on the table too.
There was something so ordinary and normal about the scene—it warmed my heart again.
I tried to be ladylike as I ate the slices of pizza, but I failed miserably at it. I was very hungry and just ended up stuffing my face.
Tristian smirked as he watched me eat, and I was surprised to find I was comfortable enough around him not to care.
“So, what now?” I asked, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.
“What do you mean?”
“What has your family decided about me?”
Tristian’s eyes glowed. “What do you think they’ve decided?”
“I don’t want to make any assumptions. I wouldn’t want to be disappointed.”
“I think they bought what you’re selling,” he replied, sitting back comfortably.
My eyes darted to the way he held the can of beer. His big strong hands with those thick fingers that knew exactly how to touch me. The color rose in my cheeks and I had to look away.
“I’m not trying to sell anything. It’s the truth.”
He shrugged. “Then you have nothing to worry about.”
“And…what about you? Do you believe me now?”
“I’m not here to make any personal decisions. I’m supposed to keep watch, and that’s what I’m doing. Whatever decisions are made by the Dohertys are made collectively, as a family.”
I glared at him for an answer. Why wouldn’t he commit?
Why was it so hard for him to say he trusted me? What more would I have to do?
“Okay, so what happens next? Is there a plan? Is your family going to protect me from Aldo Baron?”
“We’re doing that already. You’re here, you’re alive, and I’ll keep it that way.”
Our eyes met and I tried searching for something in his. Something that told me he actually cared—more than just as a job.
Why did I want to be more than just a job to him? Why did it matter?
“But for how long? How long am I going to live like this? Running, hiding, dependent?”
“If you care about your life, you’ll ask less questions and do as you’re told,” he replied with a growl.
I scowled back.
Maybe I liked him better when he barely spoke to me.
After I’d gobbled down a few pizza slices, I felt too full to even move. So I sat there at the table, cradling my can of beer while Tristian sat across from me in silence.
We’d both snapped at each other, and maybe we both regretted it a little now.
When he cleared his throat, I figured he’d finally come up with something to say. As long as he wasn’t going to bring up that awkward moment between us from before—when he’d rejected me.
“So, where would you be right now if you weren’t here? If none of this had happened to you and you lived your normal life.”
His question took me a little by surprise. I didn’t think he’d be interested in that. Or was he still trying to suss me out? Was this one of his ploys to get to the bottom of my story?
“I’d take up one of the jobs I was offered and begin a new life in the big city. My career was what I’d worked towards all my life. I pretty much sacrificed having the normal life of a teenager for the sake of having a career,” I explained.
Tristian waited a few moments, watching me closely.
“If you make it out of this, you’ll have to go pretty far from this place if you want to continue your normal life,” he said.
Maybe a few days ago, I would’ve jumped at the idea of being returned to some sense of normalcy. To the life I’d known before Aldo Baron made an entrance. But now…I wasn’t sure why I hesitated to even imagine it.
“It’s not fair that I’d be the one who’d have to move away from here,” I said.
Tristian shrugged.
“It’ll be the only thing you can do to keep out of everyone’s minds so forget about you.”
“But Aldo won’t ever forget about me, right? Will I ever be safe?”
Tristian and I stared at each other. I looked for some reassurance. For him to tell me I’d be okay. But Tristian wasn’t a liar.
“You won’t ever be safe for as long as that motherfucker is alive,” he replied.
Then he held the can of beer up to his lips and emptied it down his throat. When he left the kitchen, I assumed he went to the toilet but I couldn’t be sure.
He wasn’t interested in telling me anything. I wasn’t his friend.
I waited in silence in the kitchen while it took him exceptionally long to return.
But it gave me the time to think about why I hadn’t gotten excited about the idea of returning to my normal life. Wasn’t that what I’d wanted this whole time while I was held prisoner by Aldo and forced to do his criminal bidding?
Things seemed to have changed drastically since I met Tristian, especially since this evening when I met the rest of his family.
They gave me a sense of warmth and friendship, even though things had
started off on a sour note. Especially Isabelle, who had magically put me at ease. She seemed so…normal. She seemed like the kind of girl I would’ve loved to hang out with. It was hard to imagine she was a Doherty. That she belonged to this mafia world.
It was hard to imagine any of them did.
They were polite and curious. Intelligent and kind.
And not to forget…some of them were sexy. Well, maybe all of them were sexy. Yeah, they were all definitely very good looking. It clearly ran in their genes.
I blushed at the thought of Tristian.
Of him returning and finding me there at the table.
If he could read minds, he’d know I thought about him all the time. While I was awake and asleep. Almost obsessively.
Was it just because he had pushed me away? Did that make me want him even more?
And what if everything changed tomorrow?
What if this war between the Barons and Dohertys ended? Maybe, with any luck, Aldo left the country with his tail between his legs. Anything was possible, right? What if Aldo completely washed his hands off me?
Was I supposed to just walk out of here and never look back? Pretend like I never met Tristian? That the limited time in which I knew him—didn’t have a profound effect on me?
No other man had changed me this way. Definitely not in such a short period of time. I felt stronger around him, and weaker at the same time. I felt beautiful and sexy when he looked at me, and then small and pathetic when he looked away.
He was hot and cold. Angry and smiling. Protective and dismissive.
I was constantly in limbo around him and it couldn’t have been great for my mental health. I knew that.
So the wiser thing to do would be to keep my distance.
Tristian walked back in just then and I almost gasped, trying to catch my breath. If I could barely keep it together each time he came into view, how was I supposed to simply forget about him and resume normal life after this?
He grabbed more beer from the fridge and sat down at the table.
“I don’t get how you didn’t know about your father’s involvement with Aldo all these years,” he said, sharply snapping me out of it.
It took me a few moments to float back down to Earth. I had to make peace with the fact that Tristian hadn’t even thought about the things my mind was clogged with.
“He hid it pretty well from us, well, mostly from me. I think my mother knew more about it then she let on,” I explained.
Tristian grabbed some more pizza, washing it down with more beer.
“So you had no idea? All through your childhood?”
I shook my head.
“I thought he was a busy man, running a successful business. My father was always protective of me, giving me good advice, encouraging me to focus on an education and think about my career.”
“So you guys were close?”
“I thought so. I always considered him to be a good father. There were so many kids around me who didn’t share that bond with their fathers, and I thought I was lucky. But he lied to me the whole time.”
“Maybe he was trying to protect you,” Tristian said.
“If he really wanted to protect me from all this, he should’ve stayed out of it. Then he wouldn’t have gotten himself killed, and my mother. Then I’d still have my family. I’d still have a life.” I spoke through gritted teeth as I tried to stop the tears from flooding my eyes.
I didn’t want to cry again. I didn’t want Tristian to think I had no control of my emotions.
“Maybe he didn’t have a choice. Maybe he was forced into working with Aldo, the way you were.”
I stared at him when he said that. Honestly, I hadn’t considered it as a possibility. From the moment I found out Dad was involved with the mafia, I assumed it was by choice.
My throat went dry and I remained silent.
“I didn’t know the man so I can’t make assumptions about him, but it sounds to me like you lost your trust in him,” Tristian continued.
“I lost my trust in everyone. My father was the one person I had always blindly trusted. I never questioned his motives. I loved him, and he betrayed me. He’d lied to me my whole life. I don’t think I can trust anyone ever again.”
I sat with my hands balled up into tight fists. My nails dug into my palm as I tried to regulate what I felt. Tried to remind myself this was just a conversation.
Tristian watched me in silence for a while and then he nodded.
“I don’t blame you. I can’t forgive dishonesty either,” he said. It seemed like he wanted me to really hear those words. Like they were a warning.
“Yes, it’s unforgivable,” I replied, thrusting my chin up proudly.
I hadn’t been dishonest with him, but maybe he’d never trust me.
“And that is why I don’t trust anyone, not even you,” I added. I really wanted him to hear my words too.
Ten
Tristian
My family approved of Elsie, that much was clear to me.
If they thought there was anything suspicious about Elsie or she wasn’t to be trusted, they wouldn’t have let me leave the house with her in tow. Someone would’ve called me by now and told me about a plan to take her down or out her.
Heck, they’d practically invited her to have dinner with the rest of them.
I knew Dad had a soft corner for girls who had suffered through loss. Her story about her parents being murdered had reminded him of how we had lost our mother. His beloved first wife. He hadn’t been the same since her murder.
And wasn’t my family’s approval the green light I’d been waiting for?
I should’ve been able to drop my guards around her now, but I couldn’t.
She was just too pretty. She was just too perfect. She had an answer and explanation for everything. She was too smart. I wanted her too much.
Usually when things were this good, they were too good to be true. I’d learned the hard way.
After we finished the pizza and the beers, Elsie asked if she could take a shower.
“Do you need some change of clothes?” I asked.
“That’d be great, but I don’t want to be too demanding,” she replied.
“I’ll just ask Isabelle for some stuff,” I said. “I’ll be back in an hour.”
Elsie went to the bathroom and I left the apartment, texting Isabelle that I was on the way to her apartment.
Even while I drove there, I’d battled with the idea of helping Elsie.
There was a part of me that kept saying I shouldn’t treat her with the kindness and support I showed her. I stood up for her to my family when we first arrived. Maybe they wouldn’t have warmed to her that quickly if I hadn’t set the example.
I couldn’t help but battle with those thoughts. I couldn’t help but recall everything I’d learned over the years of my life. To never trust a girl. Especially not one who made me that crazy with my need to fuck her.
There had to be something up with that.
Just like I should’ve known there was something up with Christie.
We were both eleven. Both just kids. But when she bumped her bike into mine that crispy cold December morning eleven years ago, I looked into her big green eyes and thought I was in love.
She had long blonde hair and freckles on her cheeks. She apologized to me profusely even though she hadn’t damaged my bike.
“What can I do to make it up to you?” she asked coyly. I saw from the way she blushed, she liked me too. I couldn’t just let her ride away. I had to hold on to her as tightly as I could.
The loss of my mom had made me desperate to cling to people I wanted in my life—I didn’t realize it at the time.
“You could let me buy you a milkshake,” I said and she blushed even harder.
That was the first and the last time I was ever going to ask a girl out on a date.
We rode our bikes together to the diner I used to have breakfast at with my brothers. Everyone knew me there. Hell,
everyone had always known me everywhere.
We sat together at a booth in the corner and we ordered milkshakes and fries. Christie was shy and sweet, too nervous to meet my eyes.
She was the first girl I was truly interested in. More than interested in. I thought she was the prettiest thing I had ever set my eyes on and I hoped she liked me too.
I remembered our conversation well even now, even though it happened more than a decade ago. I asked her what her hobbies were, what kind of movies she liked, if she had a boyfriend. She seemed hesitant to answer any of the questions, it was like she hadn’t thought about those things before even though they were regular things.
We finished our food and I knew I wanted to see her again. I wanted to hold her hand and kiss her.
As we were leaving the diner, Christie flipped her hair over her shoulders and turned to me.
“Do you want to meet me tonight? At Brambley Park? I think I’ll be able to sneak out around midnight.” Her eyes glowed with excitement as she proposed the idea and I couldn’t believe my luck.
I didn’t think she had an adventurous streak. Of course I wanted to see her tonight. I figured it’d be my opportunity to kiss her. I excitedly agreed to see her at the park at midnight.
I went back home and spent the rest of the day thinking about her. Daydreaming and fantasizing about her plump pink lips. I used to tell my brother, Brendan, everything. We’d always been best friends, but he seemed busy that day.
Besides, I didn’t want to jinx it by telling him I’d met a girl who wanted to meet me alone at night in a park.
I stayed up all night, pacing around in my room until eleven-thirty. Then I snuck out of the house and got on my bike to ride over to the park, shaking with excitement and joy. I was so fuckin’ naive.
I could see her blonde hair shining from a distance as she stood waiting for me, wearing a bright pink puffy jacket and her cheeks flushed from the cold.
I waved to her and she waved back, but she looked nervous. Even more nervous than she’d looked in the morning. And even as I walked towards her with a skip in my step, I had no idea I was walking into a trap.