by Naomi Porter
“But you probably have a disease or something. I should go.”
My joy plummeted as she crawled off the bed.
“I always wear a condom. I’m clean.” Of course, why should Rita take my word for it? She wasn’t a stupid woman. I could tell the day I met her she wasn’t gullible or ditzy like some women I’d met. But I was clean. I didn’t take STDs lightly.
Rita’s hazel-green depths were shiny and glossy. The disappointment in them broke a piece of me.
None of this made any sense. Why would she want to leave when the chemistry between us was like a megaquake on the Richter scale? We were beyond epic together, and I hadn’t even gotten her under me yet.
“But what about all the other women you’ve been with in the past?” She blinked, squaring her shoulders.
I wasn’t ready to talk about myself or my anger and trust issues.
“What do you want me to say? It’s not like we were together.”
She nodded her head over and over. “I know, I know. I guess I…”
“You what?”
“I like you, Nik. If I didn’t, I could fuck you on the spot. God, you’re so damn sexy and infuriating. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Then today, spending time with you… I just can’t let you screw me like the others. I’d feel used and worthless.”
“No,” I gritted out and went to her. I cupped her face firmly in my hands. “You aren’t worthless and never will be. You’re not just a warm body to me.” Pouring my heart out to a woman ranked up there with bamboo shoots under the fingernails. Or, hell, getting my dick chopped off. It was excruciating as hell, admitting my feelings.
She furrowed her brow and laid her hand on my chest. “I’m not? Then what am I?”
Fuck if I knew what she was to me. But she wasn’t like any of the dozens of women I’d fucked over the years. I opened my mouth and word vomited.
“The calm to the storm brewing inside me. When I see you or I’m near you, I feel anchored, steady and safe. I feel…” I swallowed down the growing lump in my throat. This being vulnerable shit wasn’t me at all.
But making Rita understand she meant more to me was more important than my own feelings and insecurities.
“You feel what?” Both her hands were on my chest now—one over my heart, slamming against my rib cage.
“I feel at peace. And Rita, I never feel like that. I’m always angry. On the edge of losing control and exploding.” I bit down on my back molars and gripped Rita’s waist because I was so afraid she was going to run out of my bedroom and out of my life forever.
The pull I had in my core, drawing me to Rita, was a fierce motherfucker. It put this pressure in my chest, a tingling in my limbs, and a burning behind my eyes. If she left me, rejected me, it might be catastrophic. I didn’t know if I could handle the abandonment.
She rubbed her small hand over my heart, staring into my eyes, into my soul. Who was this woman? How could she tear down my walls, rip me open with her caring hazel-green eyes, and get me to bare my fucking soul?
I didn’t have a clue. Here I was practically naked because I was sure we were going to fuck. But instead, this felt like a come-to-Jesus moment. An anointment, a cleansing of my spirit. Just me, sweet Rita, and the Man himself above.
I didn’t deserve Rita Rocha. Hell, I hardly even knew her. But my heart seemed to know who she was and so did my soul.
“Nik?” My name dropped from her lips all breathy and soft, and it made the hairs on my arms rise.
“Yeah, baby?” I squeezed her trim waist, enjoying the chance to touch her.
“Can we start over? I mean, being who we really are and not hiding what’s here.” She patted the spot over my heart. “If we like each other, let’s not pretend we don’t.”
Could she break me any more than she already had? Her request was genuine and sweet. No chance would I deny her.
“Anything you want, Rita. You name it and it’s yours.” Who was I? Clearly, a man possessed by a beautiful, caring woman.
“Okay, I want you to date me.” She went for it, hardcore making her demands. I liked her even more. She wasn’t afraid to go after exactly what she wanted. It was refreshing, when so many women I’d known only wanted sex and gifts, nothing more. “I want to hold your hand on the beach and feel your arms around me as we watch the sun dip below the ocean. I want to cook you dinner, flirt while we eat it, and make out on your sofa. I want to do this the old-fashioned way. Are you up for that, Mr. Tough Guy?”
I chuckled as I looked down at my plaid boxers. I still had an erection, one she didn’t seem to care about.
“Rita, look at me. Do I look tough to you?”
The smile on her face brightened my dark world. “I see your point. You look irresistible to me. I’m pretending you’re in a pair of swim trunks.” She blushed after glancing down at my crotch.
“Don’t look at it, baby. It already feels rejected and dismissed.”
“I’m not rejecting anything. I’m just asking for a little time to know if I want to give you the goods.”
“The goods?”
“My body and heart.”
“Fuck, Rita. You’re asking too much of me. I need you, girl. Desperately.”
“Seven days. That’s what I need. Tomorrow we’ll go to the clinic together to get tested. When the results come back, if we’re both clean and we still like each other, we’ll have sex.”
“Jesus, you don’t ask for much, do you?” I wrapped my arms around her and tugged her closer.
“You should know, I can sometimes be demanding.”
“I’m learning that as we speak.”
“Does it scare you?”
“No.”
“Do you have any demands?”
Did I ever. “Your lips on mine, but first, one question.”
“Okay.”
“Why do you need to be tested? How many men have you slept with?” My voice came out harsher than I intended. But the thought of another man putting his hands on my Rita set something off inside me.
“You sound jealous.”
“I feel murderous.” I flexed my jaw, biting down on my back molars. It was no exaggeration. I could squeeze the air out of any man who put his hands on my woman.
“I want you to have assurances that I’m clean too. It isn’t about the number of men I’ve been with—”
“Which is how many?”
“Four. Two in high school and two since.”
Christ, that was four too many.
“What about you?”
“Huh?”
“How many women have you been with?”
“Too many.”
“Oh.” Her gaze dropped to my chest, and her body tensed in my arms. I had disappointed her again.
With my thumb, I lifted her chin so our eyes connected. “Nobody before you has mattered to me. Just you, Rita. Only you.” And it would always be her, I felt it deep in my heart, but it was too soon to admit such insanity.
“Kiss me, Nik.”
I dropped my lips to hers, covering her mouth and inhaling her. Our tongues danced, twirling in slow motion.
Damn, this woman was sheer perfection. I ran my hands up her back, pushing her into my body.
Sorry, Nana, but the promise I made you… I’m breaking it.
8
Rita
I SMILED AT elderly people while I sat across from Granny, who’d been shining brighter than the sun since we arrived at Palm Vista. She always looked this happy and beautiful when she was with Bea. It made me sad they couldn’t be together more often.
My phone chimed with a text—another one from Nik.
Granny and Bea glanced my way. I grimaced and put my phone on silent.
This was the third text he sent today. The man had been positively adorable in the last twenty-four hours. After we both confessed our feelings and made out in his bedroom, it was like a switch flipped with him. I was all he could think about. It was the same for me with him.
&nb
sp; NeighborNik: Make it okay? How’s Nana?
Me: Yup. She’s perfect. Talks nonstop about you.
NeighborNik: I doubt that. I’m her little hellion grandson.
Me: You are quite the devil.
NeighborNik: In 5 days you’ll meet my devil.
Me: LOL You call it DEVIL?
NeighborNik: Fuck yeah. You’ll find out why. I wanna see you before work.
Me: K. How about 5?
NeighborNik: Perfect. See you then.
I put my phone down and exhaled. Four hours before I could see Nik was a lifetime away.
Yesterday after he visited Bea and took the lasagna I’d made to her, I met him at a park near our neighborhood and spent the afternoon with him. We’d found a quiet, semi-private spot under a tree and got cozy on a blanket I brought.
I had no idea Nik could be so sweet. He bought a small container of fruit and fed me grapes and strawberries and played with my hair while I yammered on about Toni and our high school years. Not once had he complained about me talking his ear off. He seemed totally content just being with me.
We kissed a lot too. It was glorious having a man find me irresistible. And no other woman had stolen his attention. He seemed to only have eyes for me.
The time spent with him, though short, was the best day of my life.
“What has you smiling over there, Rita?”
I lifted my head. Granny and Bea were staring at me with curious expressions. Crap!
“Just texting with Toni. You know how silly she can be. The girl makes me smile all the time.” I was going straight to hell for lying to them. I had to wonder how I had gotten to be so good at it.
“Thank you for the lasagna. It was delicious.”
I nearly choked on my spit. “Oh, you’re welcome, Bea.”
“Rita made you a lasagna? When?” Granny didn’t take her eyes off me.
“She made it at Nik’s house.”
“What? Is this true?”
“Yes, Granny. It’s true. I helped him assemble it. That’s it.”
Granny turned toward Bea and told her about the blanket she was knitting. She ignored me the rest of the time at Palm Vista and on the way home.
When we pulled up to the house, she got out of the car and said she was taking a nap. It was what she usually did after visiting Bea. But this time, I knew she wanted to get away from me, and it cut me deep.
“Okay, I’ve got some errands to do.”
“Bye.” She waved me off.
I left the house and ran across the street to Nik’s. I was furious with him. How could he tell Bea I made the lasagna when he knew I was hiding us from Granny?
I knocked on the door and it opened seconds later.
“Hey, beautiful.” He leaned down to kiss me, but I pushed him away and went inside the house.
He closed the door. “What’s wrong?”
“Why did you tell Bea I made the lasagna?”
He furrowed his brow and scratched the scruff on his jaw. “She knew I didn’t make it and wanted to know who did.”
“And you told her I did. Why, Nik? Now Granny is angry with me. She’s ignoring me.”
“Rita, I didn’t want to lie to Nana. I mean, come on. I can’t cook worth shit. She knows this.”
“Then you could have told her your girlfriend made it!”
He grabbed me and hugged me tightly. “Stop talking like that.” His lips were on my neck. “I don’t have a girlfriend. If I did, it would be you.”
Hearing him say he didn’t have a girlfriend should’ve hurt my feelings, but it didn’t. Even if I wanted to be his girlfriend, we were too new. And to be real, Nik was a bad boy who would never commit to anyone. Again, I didn’t care. As long as he didn’t sleep with anyone else, that was good enough for me. For now, anyway. Eventually, it wouldn’t be enough, but I didn’t want to think about that right now.
“She’s furious with me.” I buried my face in his firm chest and inhaled his cologne, which I had found out was called Bad Boy. Fitting, right? Its peppery, spicy notes mixed with Nik’s natural scent soothed me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you any problems. Maybe we should just tell Lucia we’re dating.”
I lifted my head so I could see his eyes. “Are we dating?” My heart swelled with hope in my chest.
“If you want that, yeah, we are.”
“What do you want?”
“You, Rita. I only want you. I just never dated before. Like, I’m not sure what’s different about it from what we’re doing.”
“Not a lot of difference, I guess. I mean, there’s dating others or dating exclusively.”
He tugged me with him and dropped onto the sofa, pulling me on to his lap. Clasping my face between his large hands, he pressed a firm kiss on my lips.
“I don’t want you dating anyone else.”
“And what about you?” I arched my brow. “No leggy blondes with big tits. No other women, period.” This felt like we were agreeing to be in a relationship.
“Done. I haven’t touched anyone since last Saturday.”
“But, you had a woman on your bike Tuesday night.”
“Doesn’t mean I touched her. Devil is dead with any other woman but you, Rita.”
I turned in his lap and straddled him. Devil was alive and well. I rocked my hips, stroking my heat against Nik’s cock.
He growled low and squeezed my hips. “You shouldn’t do that. We have five more days before we can get dirty.”
“Whose stupid idea was it to wait seven days?” I nibbled his bottom lip.
A small smile graced his handsome face. “It was a brilliant idea. I’m kind of enjoying it, actually.”
“Stop lying. Every time I leave you, you’re rock hard like now.” I could feel his full length as I tortured him and myself.
His fingers slipped into my hair and he dotted kisses along my jaw, lulling me into a trance.
“Yes, you leave me blue-balled. But when I fuck you, it’s going to epic.”
I inhaled a deep breath as he continued kissing down my neck. I rubbed his shoulders, feeling his broad, corded muscles flexing.
“I can’t wait,” I said through a heavy breath as his mouth crashed to mine.
Nik stopped us before we got out of control. He was far more decisive than me and determined to make good on my stupid request to wait seven days and do this right—the old-fashioned way.
I had to admit, I liked him even more for it.
His hand rubbed up and down my back as he cradled me in his arms. His lips were pressed to my forehead. I could get used to this… to us.
“Rita?”
“Hmm?”
“Will you go out with me tomorrow?”
I smiled, my heart fluttering with excitement. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
“Sort of?”
I frowned. “Sort of? What do you have in mind?”
“Sunday and Monday are my days off. Let’s go to San Diego for the night. I’ll take you to a nice restaurant. We’ll walk along the beach, make out in the sand, and just be together.”
My smile grew wider. An overnight trip was more than a date. Something told me Nik didn’t do this with just anyone. Then I thought about Granny.
“That sounds wonderful, but I can’t leave Granny, and I work Monday morning.”
He tipped my chin up with his finger. “You don’t leave her ever? I want to be with you, Rita. Call in sick Monday or switch with someone.”
“I want to be with you too. I can switch my shift easily enough, but I never leave Granny alone overnight.”
Nik’s jaw ticked and his forehead pressed to mine. “Can’t your friend stay with her or check in on her? I wouldn’t ask this but it means a lot to me, Rita. Being alone with you, doing all the things that are important to you.”
God, this man. The sincerity in his voice killed me. I didn’t want to disappoint him.
I cradled his face and touched my nose to his. “I’ll ask Toni to check in o
n her.”
“Ask her to check in on her next Friday too.”
“What are we doing next Friday?”
“It’ll be the seventh day. I don’t want to be interrupted all day or night.”
A shiver danced up my spine at the promise in his voice. “But you work Fridays.”
“Not next Friday. I took it off so we can discover each other from top to bottom.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck. I was falling hard and fast for this man. “Okay, I’ll ask Toni. You’re amazing, Nik Tevez.”
“You’re the first person to say that.”
I drew back. Intense black eyes were on me. The cocky smirk I adored was absent.
I didn’t know Nik’s story, his life story. I had a feeling it wasn’t pleasant. I hoped he would trust me with his secrets, the things that made him sad and hurt. It might not be what he wanted, but I wanted to know everything about him. Because once I gave my body to him, he’d own my heart.
And I wanted to own his, too.
9
Nik
I WENT INTO the employees’ lounge for my fifteen-minute break. I had four hours until my shift was over, and I couldn’t wait to leave this place. Before Rita, I loved coming to work. The music and the scantily clad women offering themselves to me all night long were fucking awesome. Being a bouncer had been a dream job for a horny son of a bitch like me.
Now I was hating it.
Dropping onto the sofa, I gulped water from my sports bottle and soaked up the quiet.
Wolf had asked if I wanted to party after work. He had a pair of twins lined up… redheads. No one at work knew about Rita except Derek. At some point, the Club R crew needed to know I was off the market.
Fuck. Was I off the market?
The door opened and Julie walked in. Shit.
“Hey, Nik.”
“Julie.”
She plopped down next to me. Her hand went on my thigh. “Want to hook up tonight?” Her hand traveled up.
“No.” I plucked her hand off me and moved it away.
“I heard you’ve been turning down women left and right. Even having a bit of trouble getting an erection. I’m sure I can help you with that.” She got on her knees between my legs.
Any other time, I would have sat back and let her take me into her small mouth. My cock fit all snuggly and shit in it. Julia liked to deep throat, choking and gagging on my dick. I’d never fucked her pussy. She didn’t do it for me, with her straight-as-a-rail body and bony hips. She was too thin for my liking, but her mouth had made up for the rest.