by Naomi Porter
If we ended what we started, it would be painful—especially when Nik brought women home—but I needed to let him go. He didn’t need to deal with my drama or issues.
God, I would miss him though. I quietly sobbed so he wouldn’t hear me.
Several minutes passed. I couldn’t hear Nik. Maybe he left, tired of my shit. I wouldn’t blame him if he did. It would be for the best.
Nik was better off without me
14
Nik
I NUMBLY SAT on the edge of the bed, facing the bathroom door. A cocktail of emotions ran through my veins: anger, confusion, sadness. Rita didn’t want me. She said she didn’t need me. Not that it should surprise me. She was an independent woman. She never cowered away and had challenged the fuck out of me.
But she rejected me. I wasn’t what she needed or wanted. Once again, I wasn’t good enough. Fuck, it hurt too.
I dragged my hand across my cheek, eyeing the door. What was I supposed to do now? I couldn’t leave her here and go home. It would be a dick move to make her find her own way home since I’d brought her on my bike.
I guessed I’d just wait. Eventually, Rita would come out, right?
Fuck if I knew.
I dug a pair of boxers out of my bag and slipped them on. I hadn’t been asleep that long, forty minutes maybe. I felt like a chump for not noticing her crying sooner. I was just out of it, thoroughly at peace with her in my arms.
Nice going, Nik.
It killed me to not know what had her so unraveled and sobbing. The muscles in my neck and shoulders coiled as a protectiveness appeared, the likes of which I’d never felt before. If someone hurt Rita, I’d rip them to shreds with my bare hands.
I stared at the door. She was eerily quiet, but I could still sense her inside. She was okay. I just needed to wait.
And so I waited and waited. After a little more than an hour, the click of the lock had me on my feet. Rita appeared wrapped in a towel. Her beautiful hazel-green eyes were swollen and red. I was afraid to approach her, fearful I might scare her off.
“Oh, you’re still here.”
I furrowed my brow. “Where else would I be?”
She shrugged her shoulder, still standing in the doorway. “Just thought you left when I didn’t hear any noises.” She bit her bottom lip. “I need my clothes.” She pointed at her backpack.
“Then get them.”
She hesitated before padding past me to the chair where she’d placed her bag. Was she afraid of me? Rita snatched the bag and returned to the bathroom seconds later, then locked the door behind her.
Son of a bitch!
After half an hour, I was ready to break the door down. I needed to do something. The room felt like the walls were closing in while Rita stayed in the bathroom. I hated being separated from her, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. That, more than anything else, pissed me off.
I put on some clothes and boots, wishing I had a beer or tequila. Shit, even a cigarette would help take the edge off. I fidgeted with my fingers, thinking about the joint I had in my wallet. I shook the idea of lighting it out of my head. Instead, I got to my feet and paced.
The one time I made an effort to take a woman somewhere other than a dumpy motel that charged by the hour, it fell apart. This was why I didn’t do relationships, why my heart had been as hard as steel. But fucking Rita had broken through.
I stopped at the bathroom door and touched it. If I didn’t do something, I might go insane with worry. Eventually, anger would replace my concern, which I needed to avoid.
I lightly tapped my knuckles on the wood so I wouldn’t scare her.
“Rita? I’m going to step out for a little bit. Do you want anything? I’ll stop by the liquor store we saw up the street.” I waited for a reply. When I didn’t get one, I knocked again. “Rita?”
“No. I’m good.”
Fuck. She wasn’t okay. She didn’t fool me.
“Call me if you change your mind.”
I didn’t want to leave her, but I needed air to clear my head. I drove around for a while, but not even being on my Harley made me feel better. I was twisted up over Rita. If she didn’t want me, I’d let her go. I would never beg a woman to stay like I had when my mom left. I once thought I was meant to be alone. I could be a coldhearted bastard, not giving a shit about anyone else but myself. Then Rita warmed my soul and revived my cold, dead heart.
Fuck, I hated the fear I felt of never being with her again. Never kissing or touching her. Why would the universe bring her into my life and then rip her out of it?
I should just leave her a wad of cash and she can call an Uber or some shit like that to take her home. If she didn’t want me, fine. Good riddance. I’d go right out to the desert, find me someone to fuck and forget about Rita fucking Rocha. I could sell Nana’s house and move. Then I wouldn’t have to see the woman who’d stolen my heart like a thief in the night.
I roared, hating the thoughts permeating my head. For once in my life, I thought I’d found something good, and dammit, Rita was fucking amazing. She made me want to be better, deserving of her. Whatever shit was going on with her, I needed to fix it. At least understand what made her fall apart. I wanted to help her, make the hurt go away.
Shit, I never wanted to do that for anyone before. I spied the liquor store and pulled into the parking lot. I didn’t waste time grabbing a bottle of tequila, orange juice, and grenadine. I took a couple of minutes to puff on a joint in the alley to help calm my nerves.
Once calmer, I stopped at a little market. I grabbed some snacks and a cheap bouquet of flowers. Before I made my way back to the hotel, I ordered a pizza to have it delivered. I was sure Rita wasn’t going to want to go to a restaurant tonight, which was okay with me.
I just hoped she’d come out of the fucking bathroom.
And let me hold her.
I checked my phone to see if she’d texted. She hadn’t. I’d been gone over an hour already. It was longer than I’d intended, so I rushed back to the hotel. I didn’t want her thinking I was never coming back. There was nothing worse than feeling abandoned.
The last thing I expected was to see her sitting on the bed, propped up against the headboard. I carried in the stuff I got and set them on the table in the corner. She didn’t look at me as I spread out the goodies I bought.
“Need a shot, baby?” I held up the tequila.
She nodded, keeping her eyes downcast.
I poured the equivalent of two shots for both of us in glasses the hotel provided. I took them over to Rita’s side of the bed and held a cup out. She removed it from my hand. Again, no eye contact.
I sighed and turned away.
Rita grabbed my hand. The small gesture put my mind at ease—a little. “I’m sorry for ruining today.” Her eyes lifted, connecting to mine. They were filled with unshed tears. “I’m ready to talk if you want.”
I set my cup on the nightstand and sat next to her, cradling her pretty face in my hands. “I want to talk. I want to do whatever you want.”
“Anything?”
I stroked my thumbs over her soft cheeks. “Anything.”
“Well, maybe you should hear what I have to say before you decide.”
What the fuck did that mean?
She downed her drink and I did the same, suddenly feeling anxious. I stayed beside her with my hand now holding hers.
“I don’t trust men. My dad cheated on my mom my whole life and beat her. He left us when I was ten.” She paused, and my heart hammered in my chest. “My mom was heartbroken. I never understood it. How could she love a man who hurts her, you know?”
I nodded. “It’s messed up, baby.”
“To numb herself, she started drinking, then moved onto drugs. But drugs cost a lot more than cheap vodka, so she started pimping herself out.”
“Fuck.” I found myself holding my breath as I watched Rita’s tears streak down her face.
“It got to a point where selling her body wasn’t enough. So on the last
day of school, my eighth-grade year…” Her voice trailed.
Fucking hell, I was about to explode in a fit of rage if she told me her mother… God, I couldn’t even think it.
“I wasn’t raped. I can see the questioning in your eyes.”
I blew out a breath. Thank fuck.
“Men were in and out of our apartment all times of the day. I’d seen naked men, heard them having sex with my mom. It was awful. I was just a little girl when it all started. But in eighth grade, my body changed. I had curves and breasts.” She stopped and looked at her empty cup.
“Want another?”
“Please.”
I refilled our glasses, trying to hide the slight tremor in my hands. The direction this talk was going in freaked me the fuck out. I didn’t want to hear Rita had been assaulted, but the way she acted was enough to know whatever happened hadn’t been pleasant.
She didn’t gulp the tequila, but I swallowed mine all at once. It didn’t help to calm my nerves.
“She made me let her and one of her regulars take pictures of me in my underwear and without a bra.”
I nearly launched off the bed in a fit of rage. “Baby—”
She held her hand up. “Let me finish. Please.”
I nodded and took her hand, entwining our fingers together. I needed to touch her, be connected to her.
“The police had come and arrested Mom and the dude. I’d overheard them telling Granny when she came for me two days later that Mom confessed she’d done it for money to buy drugs. My mom was going to post the pictures of me on the internet.” A sob ripped from her chest.
I tugged Rita into my arms and held her tightly, vowing to protect her from this day forward. I didn’t need to hear any more. I understood why she didn’t trust men, but she could trust me.
“I’m no good for you, Nik.”
“What? Are you fucking kidding me? Rita Rocha, I’m not good enough for you.” I kissed her temple, feeling fiercely protective of this beautiful, sweet, caring woman.
“It doesn’t bother you what they did to me? They took pictures of me in awful positions and threatened to hurt me worse if I didn’t do what they said.”
“Of course it bothers me but not because you did something wrong. Your mom and that man are to blame, Rita, not you. You were an innocent child.”
Hearing my own words hit me like a ton of bricks. I’d been an innocent child when my mom left me. I’d always thought I wasn’t enough, that I disappointed her, but her taking off was on her. Not me.
I tipped up her chin and kissed her lips softly. “I just had a major breakthrough.”
She furrowed her brow, sniffling. “What kind of breakthrough?”
“We belong together.”
She wiped her tears away with a look of confusion in her hazel-green depths. “We do?”
“Yes! We’re perfect for each other. We’ve both been through some shit and don’t trust the opposite sex. Because of this, we won’t hurt each other.”
“Hmm. Keep talking.” The corner of her lip curled.
“I’ve never felt more at peace in my whole life than when I’m with you. I want to be a better man for you. I want to deserve you. I want to make you giggle and scream my name out when I feast on you.”
“I do like the sound of that.”
I kissed her hard, then pulled back because, goddammit, I was on a roll. “I want to date you. Make love to you. Cook with you. Fuck, one day, I want to marry you and have a family together. I want to grow old with you. Rita Rocha, I want it all with you.”
Tears were streaming down her face again, but the smile behind them made my fucking world sparkle.
“Nik Tevez, I want you to make love to me. I know we were waiting and the results of our tests aren’t in, but I’m clean. I… trust you. If you say you’re clean, I believe you.”
“I am. I wouldn’t lie to you, Rita.”
“Then kiss me because I need you. I want you.”
She needed me. Wanted me. Her words made me deliriously happy.
Our lips crashed together.
The earth shook, and it felt like our separate paths became one. Some crazy shit right there. I laid Rita out on the bed and took her clothes off. Contentment and joy glittered in her hazel-green eyes. The strength of it reached all the way into my core.
15
Rita
NIK’S INTENSE, PENETRATING stare made me feel exposed, like he could feel what was in my heart and knew my thoughts. For the first time in my life, I wanted a man to know me on an intimate level.
Butterflies danced in my stomach. I was falling hard for this man. Once our bodies connected and we were joined as one, I would be his.
Who was I kidding? I was already his. That was how powerful the draw to Nik had been… and without sex. In less than three weeks, Nik Tevez had broken down my walls and taken up residence in my heart, and I never wanted him to vacate.
I lifted my pelvis to encourage him to proceed. He was wedged between my legs, cock at my entrance, but he didn’t push in. He just stared.
“What are you waiting for?”
“You’re so beautiful.”
My cheeks heated. “So are you.”
“You know, I’ve never gone slow when it came to sex. I fuck. I fuck hard and fast.”
“No need to talk dirty to me, I’m already turned on.”
He smiled, shaking his head. “What I’m trying to say and failing at is with you, I like taking my time. I don’t want to rush. I want to make love to you and savor every moment.”
Oh my god. This bad boy knew how to speak to my heart. Unbelievable.
“I’m okay with that. But just so you know, I like it hard and fast, and very dirty sometimes.”
I felt his cock twitch and I clenched.
“You are the perfect woman, you know that?”
“Keep talking like that and you’re going to have me begging for your cock.”
“Begging might be fun but I won’t torture either of us anymore.” In one strong thrust, I was arching my back as our groans littered the air between us. “Fuck, Rita. I think I’ve just died and gone to heaven.”
“Me too. I didn’t think you’d get it in so easily.”
“Did I hurt you?”
“No.”
He moved in and out slowly. “We fit perfectly.” His tongue brushed across my bottom lip. “I could stay inside you forever.” He picked up his pace, kissing me with a passion I’d never experienced before. Our tongues touched, our moans swirled together, and it was everything.
I fell into step with his rhythm with our gazes locked. Each time he rubbed against my clit, he drove me higher and higher. Nik sucked on my neck, his hand roaming over my breast. He kneaded and pinched my nipple and I yelped, arching into his hand.
“Yes… Oh, Nik… I’m almost there… I’m almost there.”
He increased his speed and moved his hand between us. I screamed when his finger flicked my clit, driving me wild.
“Shit, Rita, I can’t hold on much longer. Come for me, baby, come now!” He drilled into me hard, squeezing my ball of nerves, and I went over the edge.
I cried out his name as my body tensed. I dug my nails into his shoulders as I rode the wave of ecstasy. It felt like it would never end. I hoped it wouldn’t. I came so hard, it dripped down the crack of my ass.
I tried to calm my erratic breaths, but it was impossible with Nik pounding into me. He didn’t let up through my orgasm, making it all the more intense.
“Fuck yeah, baby, this is it. This is it!”
I yelped as he drove his cock to the hilt, nearly knocking the air out of me. Nik stilled. Warmth encased me from the inside out.
“Holy shit,” he hissed. “I’ve never gone bare before. That was freaking magical, baby.” His lips found mine. Leisurely, we kissed, our bodies still connected and hearts as one. We melted into the bed, wrapped in each other’s arms.
Nik
I held Rita in her afterglow, skating my hand u
p and down her back. I’d never made love to a woman before. She would be the only one to get this side of me.
When I came inside her, I’d seen stars. It was like an asteroid had blown open my heart and Rita’s sweet essence magically pieced it back together. Now she owned it.
“Nik, why don’t you trust women?”
I swallowed down the instant emotion in my throat. Rita deserved to know my past, just as she had told me hers. This was the moment where I let her in.
A knock at the door stopped me. “Pizza delivery.”
Her head lifted off my chest. “You ordered a pizza?”
“Shit, I forgot about it. Be right there!” I slipped out from under Rita and quickly tugged on my jeans. I opened the door and took my wallet out from my back pocket.
“Oh damn, man. Sorry to interrupt.” The dude’s cheeks flamed red. He didn’t look much older than sixteen. “Twenty-four… thirty.” He averted his eyes away.
I snorted, taking out thirty dollars and handing it to him.
“Thanks.” He passed the pizza box to me and I kicked the door shut.
Rita was sitting up in bed with the sheet covering her breasts. I was ready for round two, but the pizza smelled fucking amazing.
“You didn’t say two words to him.”
“What’d you want me to say?” I opened the box and drooled. “Hungry?”
“Starving. You could have said, ‘How’s it going?’”
“I don’t do meaningless chitchat.”
“But you could greet the person. Like in the grocery store or the post office.”
I handed her a napkin and a slice of what was called Epic Supreme. It was loaded to the max. It even had pineapple on it.
“God, this looks delicious.”
I watched her take a bite, and my cock twitched. “I don’t go to those places.”
She giggled. “To the store? Where do you buy your milk?”
“The mini-mart where I get gas.”
She tossed her head back, laughing. I couldn’t help but chuckle because her laugh was infectious.
“And you don’t talk to the clerk?”
“No.” I took my first bite and groaned. “Oh man, this is the best pizza I’ve ever had.”