by M. E. Carter
As he mopes off, Abel turns to check on me. “I take it that’s who you’ve been visualizing?”
“I don’t really wanna talk about it. I wanna kick something.”
If anyone understands my feelings are too fresh right now, it’s Abel. Partially because his were the same way a couple weeks ago. Partially because we both know how inflexible I am and trying to get my leg up high enough to kick the bag isn’t something I would normally volunteer to learn. If I think too hard about how this is going to look, I’ll chicken out and right now, I need the outlet.
“Okay,” is the only thing Abel says. No judgement in his voice. No curiosity in his stare. Just a common understanding and desire to help. “Let’s get to work.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
CARLOS
I knew when I left the office I had made a mistake. Sure, it took me sitting on that lumpy coffee shop chair for ten minutes to finally come to that conclusion, but I knew.
When I got back, I found out exactly how big of a mistake it really was.
The normal vibe surrounding Rian’s work area had completely disintegrated in the time it took me to consume one large black coffee. There wasn’t laughter during her phone calls. There weren’t smiles when I would walk by. Hell, there wasn’t even eye contact. She didn’t just ignore me; she went out of her way to avoid me.
If she saw me coming, she’d get up and book it to the restroom. Or she’d pick up the phone and dial a client’s number. Or she’d suddenly have an important question to ask Nancy.
All the remaining focus I had for my job dried up as I tried to figure out how to fix it. I knew I needed more guidance, that’s where Tabitha would come in. But the immediate need was to get rid of the black cloud that suddenly hovered over Rian. It was disconcerting and jarring. And humiliating to know I had caused it.
Determined to apologize in some way, I was so grateful to see her at the gym, but the entire exchange made me feel worse. She’s right. We aren’t even friends. We can’t be. This is the whole reason why I don’t get close to people in the office. Why I don’t get close to anyone, really. But it doesn’t make me feel any less like a dick, and I still need to fix this. Somehow.
Grateful for Tabitha’s invitation to drink tonight, I pull open the door to Luma. It’s not a loud bar. More of a lounge with food options. It’s nice for the over-thirty crowd that wants to be able to hear their conversations and enjoy some appetizers while they consume copious amounts of booze.
Maybe I’ll meet someone interesting here tonight. Someone I can take home to help me fuck away my worries.
Sighing to myself, I know that it won’t happen. Not anymore. No one I could ever meet will ever compare to Rian, and I just don’t have the desire to put in the effort anyway. Maybe I can just get drunk and Uber home.
Looking around, I finally catch a glimpse of Tabitha’s trademark curly dark hair and make a beeline straight to her. I could use a friendly face.
“What’s he doing here?” I look over just as Rian plops down next to Tabitha on a red, vinyl couch. She’s staring at me like I’m the most disgusting thing she’s ever seen. So much for the friendly faces. I know it’s a front, though. Rian doesn’t find me disgusting, even though I wish she would. It would make this so much easier for both of us.
“How much have you had to drink so far?” It’s an honest question. Not only does she look appalled at my presence, she looks completely sauced.
Waving a half-empty margarita glass at me, she slurs, “Not that it’s any of your business, but this is my third margarita. Why do you care? I’m not a skinny blonde bimbo you can take home and have your way with, only to disregard later.”
I try hard to ignore Tabitha, who is looking back and forth at us, eyebrows high enough to practically touch her hairline. I know I’m going to hear about this later.
I want so badly to say I care because I care about her. I care because she intrigues me. I care because she’s like no one I’ve ever met and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. But I chicken out. Not in front of an audience. And certainly not when she’s too drunk to remember in the morning. Instead, I give her my fall back answer.
“Because you’re my employee.”
She looks away and her face flames like I’ve slapped her. I’m sure that’s how my words felt to her, and I hate myself for being such an asshole.
Tabitha pats her hand on Rian’s thigh and gently says, “I’m going to get another drink. Do you want anything while I’m up?”
“Nope. But I might need to pee.”
Tabitha laughs lightly. “Hold it as long as you can, babe. Once you break the seal, you’ll be in there every ten minutes.”
Rian takes another sip and goes back to ignoring me. Tabitha, on the other hand, is practically laser locked on her target and unfortunately, that’s me. Grabbing my arm, she practically drags me across the room.
“What in the ever-loving hell is going on?” she practically hisses in my ear.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say quietly, refusing to look her in the eye. Instead, I put all my focus on the bartender and placing my order. “Whiskey. Neat.”
“Don’t give me that.” Tabitha ignores my attempts at ignoring her. Not that I expected anything less from her. “You know exactly what the hell I’m talking about.”
“How many times are you going to say ‘hell’ in the course of this conversation?”
“As many times as I want. And you’re terrible at distraction.” Leaning up against the counter, she grabs my chin and forces me to look at her. “Seriously, Carlos. Rian’s been here for less than an hour, and she’s already three sheets to the wind. At first, I thought she was just letting loose but by the time she started her second margarita she was babbling on about how her boss is a dick and office romances are frowned upon for a reason. And then you walk in and she’s practically shooting daggers out of her eyes. And now you’re drinking?” She glances down just as my drink is placed in front of me.
“Thanks, man.” I pass over my credit card with instructions to go ahead and start a tab. I have a feeling two fingers isn’t going to cut it tonight.
Tabitha’s eyes widen again. “Seriously? You never drink, Carlos. Your body is a temple and all that shit. What’s going on?”
Her never ending observations and questions finally break me. Leaning in, I start rambling. “I don’t know, okay? I hired her a couple weeks ago and she’s the best employee I could have possibly found. She’s smart and funny. The customers love her, not to mention the staff. She brings this wonderful air of professionalism without losing her personal touch. She’s a fucking delight to be around and I find myself staring at her across the room, not getting my own work done. She’s a distraction of the best kind, and I fucked it all up when I went to coffee with Rebecca.”
Tabitha holds up her hand to stop me. “Hold up. We’ll get back to Rian in a second, but first you need to tell me about Rebecca. Ridiculous Rebecca? From the gym?”
“You gave her a nickname?”
A pfffttt sound comes from her lips, like I should know better. “Of course, I did. I name all the weirdos.”
Now I’m concerned. “Do I have a nickname?”
“Sure. Complicated Carlos.”
“How have I known you for this long and never knew you gave me a nickname? And why am I complicated?”
“Because I never told you. And this conversation should answer part two of your questions. Now answer mine,” she demands. “Why the hell did you go to coffee with Ridiculous Rebecca?”
“Language, Tabitha.”
“Focus, Carlos,” she shoots back, clearly getting irritated with me.
Running my hand down my face, I finally give. This conversation will never end if I don’t tell her everything and I need her help anyway. I might as well deal with the inevitable.
“I hooked up with her about a month ago.”
Tabitha gasps and throws her hand over her mouth. “What the hell d
id you do that for?”
Rolling my eyes, I find myself getting sick of all the questions. I know I came here to pick Tabitha’s brain, but suddenly it doesn’t seem like such a good idea.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because she’s not just ridiculous, she’s got a screw loose. Seriously, how did you not see it a mile away? You’re usually more discerning than that.”
I chuckle humorlessly and take another sip of my drink. “Obviously not. She showed up in my office for an interview today and let’s just say my HR manager was less than impressed.”
“Sounds like your HR manager is paying more attention than you are.” I wish she was wrong but these days I agree with her. “But that doesn’t explain how you ended up at coffee with her.”
Furrowing my brow, I tug on my ear. Suddenly, I’m feeling fidgety. Must be the drink because surely this isn’t embarrassment. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I took a woman out to coffee.
A crazy, slightly delusional woman I never should’ve hooked up with in the first place, but that’s nothing to feel guilty about.
Except that it ended up hurting Rian.
Okay, maybe a little humility isn’t the worst thing I could be feeling right now.
“Carlos,” Tabitha warns when I don’t respond quick enough. “Spill.”
I sigh and drop down onto the barstool. “I didn’t vet her application well enough. If I had done my job right, I would never have let Nancy call her. The second Rebecca walked in the door, I knew there was no way we were going to hire her. But she was already there, so Nancy didn’t have a choice but to do the interview.”
“Who’s Nancy?”
“My righthand man.”
Tabitha takes a huge suck of her straw and gestures for me to continue, as if she wasn’t the one who just interrupted me.
“Anyway, I was talking to Rian when they got done, and Nancy wanted Rebecca out of the building as soon as possible. Rebecca started coming onto me, and I was so confused by talking to Rian, and Nancy was giving me signals to hurry and get her out, so I caved and took her out to coffee.”
“Hold on. You were in the middle of a conversation with Rian when you ditched her for a psychotic one-night stand?”
I halfheartedly glare at her. “She’s not psychotic.”
“You forget I’m the ears of the gym. I know everything and trust me, hide your bunny with that one.”
“I don’t have any pets so no worries there. I don’t know what to do, Tabitha. What do I do?”
She looks at me for a few seconds, considering what I’m asking. Finally, she smiles like a cat that ate a canary. “You like her.”
Reeling back, I look at her like she’s lost her mind. “What? What are you talking about?”
Leaning in, Tabitha pokes my chest. “You like Rian, romantically, and you don’t know what to do with that.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, turning to shoot the rest of my whiskey. I’m going to need more liquid courage to get through the rest of this conversation. She’s right, but I’m not sure I’m ready to admit it to her. Hell, I barely just admitted it to myself.
“You do. You were talking to her and you realized you liked her, and it freaked you out. So, you went out with Ridiculous Rebecca to get away from your feelings because you’re a man and a stupid one at that.”
Whipping my eyes back to hers, I can’t help the initial feeling of offense. “What does that mean?”
“You know what it means. Am I wrong?”
I open my mouth to argue, but quickly realize she’s right. My whole body deflates when I admit it. “No. You’re not wrong.”
“Mmmhmmmm.” She nods her head, cocky arrogance written all over her face. It’s probably well-deserved pride, but irritating nonetheless. “About which part?”
I glare at her, which of course makes her smile again. She’s getting way too much enjoyment out of forcing me to face my problems. “All of it. And you can stop looking so damn happy about it.”
She nudges my shoulder. “But I am happy. This is amazing, Carlos. You’ve never had any interest in a relationship before because the right person hadn’t come along yet. But Rian is great.”
“She is, huh?”
“She is,” Tabitha says with a nod. “So, what are you going to do about it?”
“That’s what I’m asking you. I hurt her, Tabitha. And I don’t know how to fix it. You’re a woman. Tell me how to make this right.”
Tabitha turns to look back at Rian who is still sitting on the couch, inspecting her glass like she’s surprised there’s nothing in it anymore. I want to go sit next to her so badly, but at this point, I’m sure it’s the last thing she wants.
“First things first, maybe you should buy the lady a drink.”
“You think?”
Inspecting Tabitha’s face, I see nothing but kindness and compassion there. It’s totally different than her normal sarcastic bravado. But she’s my friend. I came to her for a reason and it’s because I know she won’t steer me wrong.
“Yeah,” I say to myself, mustering all my courage. “Yeah, okay. I can do that.” I flag down the bartender and place an order for a strawberry margarita and another whiskey to calm my own nerves.
It takes forever, and yet way too quickly, my drinks are set before me and the most nerve-wracking conversation I’ve ever had with a woman is about to begin.
“You can do this,” Tabitha encourages. “She’s one of the good ones.”
I nod once and slide off my stool, heading directly toward this woman who enchants, intrigues, and scares the ever-loving shit out of me.
Sitting down, I reach the drink out in offering. In her inebriated state, Rian doesn’t notice it for a solid ten seconds. When she does, her face breaks out into a delighted grin. “Oh! A margarita! Thanks!”
She clumsily grabs the beverage out of my hand and drinks a significant portion of it before leaning back, a satisfied look on her face. It’s pretty impressive. But I’m prone to ice cream headaches so drinking any cold beverage quickly is likely to make me take notice.
“Carlos,” she slurs, head bobbing back and forth on the back of the couch. “How come the pretty people get everything? They don’t leave anything for the rest of us.”
Her eyes are heavy, and I know she’s close to passing out. But it feels like this is an important moment. Like she’s sharing a part of herself that she normal doesn’t share with anyone. Yet here she is, sharing it with me.
Granted, she’s completely shit-faced, but I’ll take what I can get right now.
“I think people do a good job of pretending they have it all. But no one ever has everything they ever wanted in life. Even if they put on a good front.”
She doesn’t respond and I assume she’s pondering my words. For the first time, I feel like we’re beginning to hash this whole mess out. Until I feel something sticky slide down my leg.
Is that… margarita?
“Rian,” I say as I grab her drink from her hand and put it on the floor next to us. She doesn’t respond, unless you count her soft snore. “Rian,” I say again, gently nudging her. Still nothing.
“Way to go, Carlos.” Tabitha shakes her head, amusement all over her face. “You bored the poor girl right to sleep.”
I ignore the jab. I’ve got bigger problems. Mainly, how to get Rian home now that she’s passed out.
“You don’t happen to know where she lives, do you?”
Tabitha shakes her head. “Nope. But I’m not sure she needs to be left alone tonight. Looks like you’re up, lover boy.”
No. No way. “I can’t take her home, Tabitha. She’s passed out.”
Tabitha snorts a laugh. “So? You afraid she’s going to upchuck on your fancy duds?”
“No. It’s just not safe for a woman to go home with a strange man.”
“So, you’re a strange man now?”
“Stop twisting my words. Isn’t there some kind of a girl code or something?”
She nods vehemently. “Oh, yeah. For sure. But this situation is a little different. Are you planning on taking advantage of her in her inebriated state?”
“What? Of course not! Why would you even ask me that?” Frankly, I’m a little hurt she would think something like that about me. You can’t be too careful these days, and the word “yes” better come out of a woman’s mouth before I’ll even considering going there.
“Good.” Tabitha looks satisfied with my answer which makes me even more frustrated, only this time for different reasons. Mainly because she believed me so easily. What kind of a girlfriend is she?
Okay, now I’m even confusing myself. We need to figure this situation out quick.
“You screwed up. She needs a knight in shining armor. You’re the closest thing we’ve got right now. Take the opportunity to fix this.”
I look back down at Rian who looks so peaceful in her drunken stupor. “So just take her home with me?”
“Take her home. Take care of her. Make her breakfast in the morning and talk it out.” Her emphasis on those last words aren’t lost on me. “Tell her how you feel, and trust that her anger is because she probably feels the exact same way.”
“What if it doesn’t help?”
She shrugs. “Worst case scenario, you have a sexual harassment suit on your hands, and after a lengthy legal battle, she becomes your new boss.”
Oh, well, that’s reassuring. “You’re really helpful,” I deadpan, but all Tabitha does is smile.
“It’s part of my charm. Now order an Uber and get her in bed. She’s about to start drooling and I plan on sitting right there as soon as you’re gone.”
We spend the next several minutes ordering a car and getting Rian up and out the door. It takes a bit to maneuver her as she goes in and out of consciousness, never giving any hint of when her sleeping status will change. At any given moment, she could have her arms wrapped around my neck, smiling and giggle like a schoolgirl with a crush, only to pass out again and drop like deadweight forcing us to catch her.
But finally, we’ve made our way to the waiting car and settled her in.