She sat on the edge of my bed, reached up, and pushed my long, black hair over my shoulders. “No, no, my angel, everything is fine. I need some help with the cannoli. That’s all. We have a catering order for a business party this afternoon, so we need double what’s usual. I thought you and Tony could help fill the shells.”
I yawned and stretched, relieved that there was no emergency. I would have enjoyed another hour of sleep, but family always came first. If Ma needed help, I had to set an example for my younger brother and be there.
When I reached the restaurant kitchen downstairs, I was dressed for work, and my little brother, Tony, wore his fuzzy slippers and a lumberjack-check bathrobe. He was only a junior in high school and into art like me, but he was twice as idiosyncratic in his actions and appearance. My little brother was fearless. I admired that.
Tony licked some of the sweet cream off an index finger. “Can I have a bowl of this for breakfast? It’s amazing.”
I shook my head. “It all goes in that huge pile of shells over there. Get to work fast. I need to be on time at Star One. You’ve got an extra half hour to laze around before school, but I’m not so lucky.”
Pointing at me, Tony said, “Oh, that’s right. Today’s the day they pick the teams for that competition you’ve been rambling on about. Do you have any input in the choices? Or is it one of those awful random things?”
I washed my hands in the sink and dried them on a towel. “It’s random, and I hate that, but I guess it’s better than fearing I’d be the guy nobody wanted.”
While Tony filled a pastry bag, he asked, “Is there someone you hope to end up with as a partner.”
“Not really, but I know one that I want to avoid.”
Holding the bag in one hand, Tony raised his other with the fingers shaped into claws. “A little catty of you, isn’t it big brother? I’ll jump aboard the gossip train this morning. Who is it? Give me the details.”
I grabbed my pastry bag and stuffed huge spoonfuls of the creamy filling into it. “His name’s Jamie. Jamie Matheson. I don’t know him personally, but I’ve heard plenty of stories. He’s the kind of guy that uses special privileges to stomp on others on his way to the top.”
“It sounds like you’re describing a dinosaur. The picture in my head is T. rex stomping all your cubicles to hell while he waves those little arms around.”
I started to laugh and crushed a fragile cannoli shell in my hand. “Damn, Tony. Look what you made me do. Don’t let Ma know I’m fucking up.”
“Hey, I’m the innocent little brother asking simple questions. I can’t help that you’re not as graceful as me. I didn’t give you hands like a bear that can crush a helpless piece of pastry to smithereens. That’s Mom and Dad’s fault.” Tony snickered while he perfectly filled a shell and set it down on a sheet pan.
“Well, everything I’ve heard adds up to Jamie being the office asshole. He got the job through his family connections. His father co-owns one of the biggest advertising firms out in Los Angeles. I heard that his dad and brothers even whisper in the boss’s ear to get him out of trouble when he screws something up. Jamie’s not only had a second chance. He’s probably on his fourth or fifth by now.”
“And you might get matched up with him? I’d like to see that.”
“Well, there are eleven choices, so I’m not too worried. Unfortunately, every time I think about him, it reminds me of Walker Pierce.”
Tony filled another shell and mouthed the words. He was thinking hard to try and pull something up in his memory about Walker.
I said, “I’ll help out. He’s the idiot that took me to his apartment and thought he might get some special favors.”
“Ahh, Mr. Sleep Your Way to the Top. I guess it might have worked better if he was a she.”
I smirked. “Yeah, that’s the one, and I’ve got principles regardless of who it is. I thought he was seriously into helping my career. He’d been polite at the office for weeks, and then he asked me out to dinner to, ‘discuss the future.’ It was a whirlwind of wining and dining, and his idea of the future involved me in his bed.”
Tony shrugged. “Sounds kind of hot to me.”
“Hot to you? I thought you said you’re hopelessly in love with that girl named Lucy.”
“That’s love, and you’re talking about sex. It’s two entirely different things.”
“Yeah, well, I froze up when I figured out what he wanted. I would have been helpless, but fortunately, before we were naked in his bed, he figured out I didn’t have the connections he thought I did. It turns out he’d heard a wild rumor about a family legacy.”
Tony was moving through the cannoli twice as fast as me. He was like that with almost everything that he attempted. I was often competent at his age. By comparison, Tony was a budding expert in many different things.
“Well, that’s rumors for you,” said Tony. “Doesn’t that make you think twice about your judgment of the Jamie guy? What you’ve heard could be wrong there, too.”
“Nope, it’s not wrong. I’ve got better sources of information on Jamie.”
Everyone was on pins and needles as Hal Ensign, the V.P. and immediate supervisor of my boss, started to read off the pairings for the annual competition. I was a nervous wreck until I decided to distract myself by scribbling a sketch of Mr. Ensign on the pad I’d brought to the meeting. He had a strong jawline, and his ears stuck out slightly. It made him an interesting subject for drawing. I busied myself trying to capture the right emotional mood in my picture.
My two best friends in the art department were the first selected. I didn’t know anything about their partners. I’d met so few of the copywriters directly that I didn’t even know which one was the option I dreaded. My educated guesswork narrowed it down to three, but any of them could be Jamie Matheson.
I closed my eyes and tensed thinking I’d be the third announced due to social proximity. When they didn’t call my name, I didn’t know whether to relax or keep holding my breath. The copywriter name announced wasn’t Jamie, so suddenly my chances for catastrophe were 1 in 8 instead of the more comfortable 1 in 11 where we started.
Nearly finished with the sketch of Mr. Ensign, I quickly looked around for a second subject in case I needed it. The choice probably didn’t matter much because my fingers were starting to shake too much to draw well. If I continued on, everything would come out looking like it was struggling through an earthquake.
We were down to the middle of the group when Mr. Ensign said, “Angelo Moretti.” He rambled on with a few words about the potential he saw in me. They were kind comments. I closed my eyes and waited until I heard the name I dreaded, “You’ll be working with James Matheson.”
I wanted to keep my eyes closed, get up, and disappear into the broom closet in the corner. I figured that if I couldn’t see anyone else in the room, they wouldn’t notice me either. My worst fear came true, and I instantly dreaded the next two weeks.
I suspected I was already the subject of jokes preceded by the poking of sharp elbows. “Did you see who’s on Angelo’s team? Poor fucker. Glad it’s not me.”
I finally looked up and saw one of the copywriters gesturing for me to meet him. It had to be Jamie. To my surprise, I saw one positive element of the pairing. He was easy on the eyes. In fact, that was an understatement. I mean he was pretty damn handsome. Jamie was blond and blue-eyed, and the time he spent in the gym was apparent. I tried to stop myself from staring too long at the broad shoulders, slim waist, and the perfectly-shaped bulge in his khakis.
Trudging across the room, I tensed myself for our official first meeting. With each step, I hoped the floor would swallow me up, and I’d wake up from my mini-nightmare.
Instead, when I got close, Jamie suddenly threw a long arm around my shoulders. He was grinning from ear to ear showing off a spectacular set of gleaming white teeth.
“Hey, great to meet you, Angelo. I’m James, but call me Jamie. These other suckers in here don’t know it yet, but
the victory is ours.”
I tried to think of something appropriate to say in response. Verbal comebacks were never a strength of mine. I wasn’t as enthusiastic as Jamie, and I didn’t think I should pretend. I wasn’t much of an actor, and I knew that he’d see through that. There had to be a set of words I could say that would sound sincere but not too chummy.
Looking back at Jamie, I didn’t doubt that we could win the competition, but I didn’t know whether I wanted to taste victory his way. If he was that confident, I thought that he must know something that would tip the scales in our favor. Perhaps his dad needed repayment from one of our top executives for some favor in the past.
While I struggled with words, Jamie said, “We’ve only got two weeks, and I saw you sketching already. That’s great initiative. Why don’t you show me what you’ve got, and we can talk about scheduling and the best times to get together.”
I tilted my head to the side. “Are you sure you want to see this? I doubt that it’s what you’re expecting.”
“Well, yeah, of course. I’m a little blank so far on how to sell soda. What’s your idea?”
I held up my pad of paper with the sketch of Ensign. Jamie looked at it, and then he peered at me through narrowed eyes. He laughed, and I decided there was no harm in chuckling along with him. At least it thawed the top layer of the ice that froze the vast gulf between us.
After the laughter faded out, Jamie said, “You are a quiet one. Those guys often come out on top. I’m a windbag, and you should probably ignore about half of what I say.”
Jamie’s statement wasn’t entirely true. Among my friends, I was always in the center of the conversation. Unfortunately, I was still in shock over being placed on the same team as Jamie, and it tied my tongue. When I spoke up at last, I was all business. I said, “I’ve got some assignments to get to this morning, so I’ll have to excuse myself. It’s great to meet you, too. Send me an email, and we’ll set up a time to meet. I’ll see you then.”
Before Jamie could say anything else, I turned on my heel, lowered my head, and forged a zigzag path through the other cubicles on the way to my own. When I got there, I sat, put my elbows on the desk, and lowered my head into my hands. It was impossible to believe my worst nightmare came true. The two weeks ahead loomed over the horizon like a dark thunderhead with occasional bolts of lightning reaching all the way to the ground. I let out a long, low moan of distress before I fired up the computer and got to work.
3
Jamie
The phone rang four times before my twin brother, Benji, picked up. I’d waited until 7:00 p.m. central time hoping that dinner would be well out of the way on the East Coast, and we’d have a few minutes to talk. We barely ever let a week go by without a conversation.
Benji moved to Boston after we went to college together on the West Coast. He applied and earned acceptance into a graduate school program in artificial intelligence and robotics. It was one of the best in the country.
As twins, we’d been inseparable for most of our lives, but everyone in our family and most of our friends agreed that forging our own paths as adults was the best thing in the long run. Two-and-a-half years later, I still missed my brother sometimes.
“Hey, Jamie. I’m sorry it took me a minute to get to the phone. I was helping Christian stir up a batch of cookies. They’re oatmeal chocolate chip, your favorites. You should be here to have a few fresh out of the oven.”
I sighed. “Aw, man, I wish I was there to enjoy the fruits of your labor. How’ve you been doing?”
Unless something strange happened out on the East Coast, I already knew the answer to my question. I’d never seen Benji happier than he was at the family Christmas gathering less than a month earlier. He brought his new boyfriend, Jax, along to California, and Benji babbled over and over about his robotics research.
Unlike some people that Benji labeled fear mongers, he was bullish on the idea that artificial intelligence would usher in a new world with a bright future for all of us. He was an eternal optimist.
“Everything’s great here. Well, other than the snow. We’ve got another three inches coming tonight. The kids are hoping school’s canceled in the morning.”
“The kids? Did you adopt some without telling me?”
Benji laughed. “I’m staying with Jax’s family while he’s down in New York for a meeting with Tate. Christian is his little brother. I considered tagging along on the trip, but it’s always a short one, and Jax is busy almost the entire time. We’re taking the train for a fun New York trip over Valentine’s Day weekend. We’re finally going to see the Empire State Building together at night. What’s up with you?”
One of my least favorite days of the year was Valentine’s Day. I cringed every time it came around again and I saw all the chocolate and roses. None of it was for me. The last time I had a serious relationship, I was a sophomore in college. That was over four years ago.
Marcus, my man back then, was excellent boyfriend material until his eye started to wander. I noticed him watching other guys almost every time we went out. Benji told me not to make something out of nothing, but he turned out to be wrong.
When I caught Marcus in bed with a former roommate, we were over. An hour later, I grumbled to Benji, “There’s no one you can trust in the world except your own flesh and blood. Thank God I’ve got you.”
Redirecting my thoughts back to the present, I considered the best answer to Benji’s question on the phone. I didn’t want to say, “Nothing.” That would sound like my life was in a pathetic rut. I didn’t want it to come off that way even if it were the truth. I needed to hold on to my self-esteem and make everything sound better than that. I decided to talk about work and the competition. At least that was something new.
“The annual office competition started again, and I think this year is my year. I got so close last year with my partner. I’m ready to win this time.”
“Oh, that’s fantastic,” said Benji. “Who’s your partner this year? I thought that woman who created the computer-generated animation video last year sounded great. Maybe you should track her down.”
I reflected on meeting Angelo and sighed. “It’s a guy this year. I hope he’s great at what he does, but we haven’t had a serious meeting yet. I’d never seen him before. They picked the teams in a random process.”
In a voice dripping with innuendo, Benji asked, “Is he cute? I don’t know which would be better, cute or ordinary. If he’s cute, it would be fun to work together, but those great looks can be distracting. If you aren’t careful, you’ll end up in bed like I did with my distracting roommate.”
I didn’t need a reminder about how Benji’s relationship with Jax unfolded. Taking on my usual leadership role, I found Benji new roommates to help cure him of his tendency to hide away in his apartment for weeks at a time. He moved in with my old, straight swim camp buddy, Jax, and his two roomies. At least I thought Jax was straight. That turned out to be wrong. He fell in love with my twin brother.
For the first time in my life, I felt like I was seriously lagging behind Benji in life progress. It was an uncomfortable position.
After a few moments of awkward silence on the phone, Benji asked, “Are you still there?”
“Oh, yeah, I was thinking about Angelo. That’s my competition partner. I was trying to decide whether he’s cute. You asked about that. It’s not something I thought about when we shook hands.”
I knew that I didn’t look long enough to decide, but maybe if I had to concentrate on the question, I knew the answer. There was nothing that impressed me off the bat, and all that I remembered for sure was a lot of long hair. It was tied back neatly, but I wondered how it would look tumbling in waves over his shoulders. I said, “Let me decline to answer that question for now. Ask me again when we talk next week.”
Benji said, “I guess I do have a tiny bit of other news. I’ve been sworn to secrecy, but everybody knows that there are no secrets between twins. If they’re goin
g to tell me, they might as well tell you, too. That’s the way it works. If they tell me something, you’re going to eventually know.”
I decided to tease Benji’s comment out a little bit more. “Is that true about what Jax shares with you? Do you eventually tell me everything?”
Benji dropped his voice to a low whisper. “I’d say the answer to that is probably yes. I tell you everything…eventually. At least I tell you all the important stuff.”
“So what’s this big news that I’m not supposed to know? It’s not like I can share it with anybody else around here. I’m the only Matheson for thousands of miles in all directions.”
“Okay, yeah, I’ve got to tell you because I’m about to burst. If I don’t share it with you, I’m likely to blab to Guy or Di instead, and I know that would get back to me. Di can’t keep anything quiet. She gets that from Mom.”
I quickly counted on my fingers. “Okay, now I know it’s something about either Tate or Mason. You’ve knocked out our sister and one of our brothers.”
Benji chuckled. “It’s both. I’m going to blurt it out. Tate and Mason are having a double wedding. They don’t know which coast for sure yet, but I’m thinking California. It’s probably going to happen in the fall. I pushed for a date, but they don’t have anything specific yet.”
I reached up and scratched my head. “That’s news?”
“Well, yeah. I never heard about it.”
“Oh, they’ve teased about getting married for a couple of years now. You know that. They’re finally making everything official and legal? That’s good news. It only makes sense.” Both of my older brothers lived with their boyfriends, and they’d long since settled into committed relationships.
Benji sighed on the other end. “Well, I thought I had a big scoop. Damn!”
I chuckled. I liked that there was at least something in the family that made me feel like I wasn’t lagging behind everybody else. I was the only Matheson left outside of my sister Di, the youngest, who wasn’t partnered up in a dream relationship. At age 26, it was probably absurd to think time was running out, but I felt like the clock was ticking. Every additional week alone meant a week closer to turning into the recluse I feared Benji would become before he met Jax.
Winner: The Mathesons Book 4 Page 2